Shankboye: So because of d text message u left? Not a gud idea my dear, trust me he will never leave u for his ex.. He was just playing around..

From playing around to away match ba? Abeg! Na2day? *singing biggie*some say the ex, makes the sex Spectacular

breakups, everywhere.....mehn is it break up season or what.......op take heart, you certainly deserve better. that's the price of love.............me thinks relationships are just a waste of time....

sexkillz: Damn!

You did all you could. It's not your fault that he's an ungrateful bastard. I know he'll be back. I hope you don't take him back when he does, because, that will be foolishness and not love. . .

Sorry, you'll get over the efulefulistic homo sapiens.

Nothing wrong with your post but can't you comment without using swear words

Amya: Why it hurt so much is because I thought I've found that good person. I never believed he could do this to me. Still shocking.

sorry dear,it so painful after everything u have put up 2 bring hope and happiness into his life,he decided 2 hurt u dis way hmm...i think is an ingrate,he lack discipline,trust and very inmatured..don't worry the law of nature we met out is punishment at due course..Couple urself again and move,just assume u have touch is life positive and leave the rest 4 God 2 perfect..."life is a random walk" cheer up it is well, but don't use this incident 2 paralyse ur chance of finding luv when u are located by someone else...be open mind,sorry sorry.

@OP...just grab handkerchief clean her eyes,open my locker brings out my pump action,where is the let me blow is skulls away.

190-the-clown:
katty perry - ROAR

I can't get why all these are so funny to you.

190-the-clown:
katty perry - ROAR

YOU CAN BE FUNNY AND MEAN AT TIMES. THIS TIME YOU ARE PLAIN MEAN.

WOULD YOU CRAWL BACK UNDER YOUR ROCK AND MIND YOUR BIZNIZ.

YOU SO MEEEEEAAAAAN

Fuckin ex things. .d slowpoke is still confused. .perhaps d ex.gf game dey more tighter. .

^^^ perhaps.

Amya: I can't get why all these are so funny to you.

I would love it if you edit the title. You are not miserable.

Sorry for your loss @ op.That dude is nothing but an afoosisa(purging belle),just Shit it off.

Btw,why ladies dey spend money for man wey never marry them.I love my bf,but since this yr,I have bought for him just two pairs of shirt!And I prize that shirt well,I still buy am for credit and I owe the person for three days before I pay(I love my sweetheart)Reasons because the money I budgeted for it,I ended up spending it on grilled fish and and agogoro .Seriously,I don't see the reason why I would spend money on my bf when we are not married!Although sometimes I cook for him with my money,I might still take the money somehow.Some men are so ungrateful,a lesson I learnt from the experiences of two of aunts.Lynpetra would never spend plenty money for man wey never carry her enter house witg wedding gown.Them no dey use boyfriend dey do husband!If him like make him turn him car to room and parlour,I rather sleep with him inside that car than to bring one kobo to rent a house if I have the money."Baby can I have 10k to pay you 11k tomorrow?",that's the kind of relationship I have with my guy wen it comes to money(I be undiluted anambra girl).The only time my bobo fit shop money go free na if we go outing ooo.If him buy drinks,I nack one better spirit to get him highhhhhh( I do that for reasons best known to me) .My struggles is for my future kids and husband.Anaghi akpata akpata e tu fuo.biko nu

This matter pain me.Damn some good ladies dey o.I feel yur pain.dooh!

Some ladies and their way of reasoning.Who told you that men are stray dogs you pick up on the road, clean it up, feed it and show some care to it and it automatically becomes royal to you.You have learnt your lesson that love is far different from compassion,move on with your life.He may be grateful for your care but obviously he doesn't love you.I'm sure you don't want to live your whole life living with a man who doesn't love you.

Dyt:

Listen to urself
Forgive a man dat denied her existence?

Well we are all different ppl
The day any man/woman
I mean anybody denies I ever existed in their lives
Dats d end


Amya, they say u shld forgive him n give him a second chance o

U aren't seeing things from my point of view o. I sincerely don't think he wanted to dump Amya, he probably wanted to have fun with his ex,he is a man for goodness sake. Amya has made great changes in his life which his Ex couldn't. I think Amya should ask herself why he wants to have a fling with his Ex after all she has done for him. But Amya plz do not spend so much on a guy next time, na sense person dey take date naija guys. Don't spend but love ok.

sister i know u are hurting and i am greatful to all the ppl who r showing u supprt but i am going to talk to you woman to woman and i want to be honest with you and tell you my heart. I know i will probarbly offend a lot of ppl here and they will insult me but i am just gona say it anyway. take it or lv it its your choice.

1- You did a lot for him > i hope you were not doing all that thinking you were buying his love or loyalty because that can never be bought for real. The person might pretend but will never really mean it in his heart. = so i hope u did all you did out of the goodness of your heart without expecting much in return

2- You checked his phone and u found shit > I always avoid going through ppl's phones because i am scared of what i might find out. I know that even if your man might cheat, others might be clever enough to hide it and delete those chats and if he is foolish enough to lv them on his phone then i make a choice not to go through anyone's phone coz blv me honey u will always get some bad results > NB: I am not saying its good to cheat and i am not saying partners should not be honest with each other, i am just saying if u dig u will find the worms , if u dont wana find them just dont dig

3 - He told his ex how he wanted her back > baby other man like having something on the side. I know its bad but i have noticed most guys would lie and say they are single only for the other woman to be disapointed in the end and in your case since u r not married to him , either one of u can be the other woman and he might actually end up marrying someone very far who u and the other girl dont even know. I understand u love him but does he really belong to u? i know u invested so much into him but baby the man aint your huby , he just a boyfriend who can go tomorrow. even if he was your husband he would still disapoint u

4- He is a looser > u mentioned how he uses ppl. i think its in his blood and unless he grows up, he gon make somebody a louzy husband someday

5- Count your blessing > its good that u found out. The question is do u still want him or not. It takes a lot to build a successful marriage and now yours is even just a relationship. I have seen so many woman stay in marriages even if the husbands r shit and i know so many who have self love and who would never tolarate such shit in their marriages. Whether u want this man or not its upto u coz its obvious he just flows with the air. The nice thing is u already know what u r getting yourself into should u choose to forgive his stupid ass or u will wana move on and get a better man but baby i just wana make u aware that men are not GOD and they can always change. So even if u decide to move on just know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and know that each an every and i mean each an every union has its own ups and downs your part is to just establish wat u want in life and know how u will handle every situation and since this guy is clearly a looser i would say as much as u can expect shit in future relations just make sure u choose a responsible man in your life n not 1 who clearly is useless. If he was mine, one can always be Lenient somtimes when it comes to cheating especially in marriage but if the man has no ambition, a user, looser and a nobody i dont know but i would not want my kids to have such a dad

Monicasque: sister i know u are hurting and i am greatful to all the ppl who r showing u supprt but i am going to talk to you woman to woman and i want to be honest with you and tell you my heart. I know i will probarbly offend a lot of ppl here and they will insult me but i am just gona say it anyway. take it or lv it its your choice.

1- You did a lot for him > i hope you were not doing all that thinking you were buying his love or loyalty because that can never be bought for real. The person might pretend but will never really mean it in his heart. = so i hope u did all you did out of the goodness of your heart without expecting much in return

2- You checked his phone and u found shit > I always avoid going through ppl's phones because i am scared of what i might find out. I know that even if your man might cheat, others might be clever enough to hide it and delete those chats and if he is foolish enough to lv them on his phone then i make a choice not to go through anyone's phone coz blv me honey u will always get some bad results > NB: I am not saying its good to cheat and i am not saying partners should not be honest with each other, i am just saying if u dig u will find the worms , if u dont wana find them just dont dig

3 - He told his ex how he wanted her back > baby other man like having something on the side. I know its bad but i have noticed most guys would lie and say they are single only for the other woman to be disapointed in the end and in your case since u r not married to him , either one of u can be the other woman and he might actually end up marrying someone very far who u and the other girl dont even know. I understand u love him but does he really belong to u? i know u invested so much into him but baby the man aint your huby , he just a boyfriend who can go tomorrow. even if he was your husband he would still disapoint u

4- He is a looser > u mentioned how he uses ppl. i think its in his blood and unless he grows up, he gon make somebody a louzy husband someday

5- Count your blessing > its good that u found out. The question is do u still want him or not. It takes a lot to build a successful marriage and now yours is even just a relationship. I have seen so many woman stay in marriages even if the husbands r shit and i know so many who have self love and who would never tolarate such shit in their marriages. Whether u want this man or not its upto u coz its obvious he just flows with the air. The nice thing is u already know what u r getting yourself into should u choose to forgive his stupid ass or u will wana move on and get a better man but baby i just wana make u aware that men are not GOD and they can always change. So even if u decide to move on just know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and know that each an every and i mean each an every union has its own ups and downs your part is to just establish wat u want in life and know how u will handle every situation and since this guy is clearly a looser i would say as much as u can expect shit in future relations just make sure u choose a responsible man in your life n not 1 who clearly is useless. If he was mine, one can always be Lenient somtimes when it comes to cheating especially in marriage but if the man has no ambition, a user, looser and a nobody i dont know but i would not want my kids to have such a dad

Best advice so far and I hope she has read it.

Monicasque: sister i know u are hurting and i am greatful to all the ppl who r showing u supprt but i am going to talk to you woman to woman and i want to be honest with you and tell you my heart. I know i will probarbly offend a lot of ppl here and they will insult me but i am just gona say it anyway. take it or lv it its your choice.

1- You did a lot for him > i hope you were not doing all that thinking you were buying his love or loyalty because that can never be bought for real. The person might pretend but will never really mean it in his heart. = so i hope u did all you did out of the goodness of your heart without expecting much in return

2- You checked his phone and u found shit > I always avoid going through ppl's phones because i am scared of what i might find out. I know that even if your man might cheat, others might be clever enough to hide it and delete those chats and if he is foolish enough to lv them on his phone then i make a choice not to go through anyone's phone coz blv me honey u will always get some bad results > NB: I am not saying its good to cheat and i am not saying partners should not be honest with each other, i am just saying if u dig u will find the worms , if u dont wana find them just dont dig

3 - He told his ex how he wanted her back > baby other man like having something on the side. I know its bad but i have noticed most guys would lie and say they are single only for the other woman to be disapointed in the end and in your case since u r not married to him , either one of u can be the other woman and he might actually end up marrying someone very far who u and the other girl dont even know. I understand u love him but does he really belong to u? i know u invested so much into him but baby the man aint your huby , he just a boyfriend who can go tomorrow. even if he was your husband he would still disapoint u

4- He is a looser > u mentioned how he uses ppl. i think its in his blood and unless he grows up, he gon make somebody a louzy husband someday

5- Count your blessing > its good that u found out. The question is do u still want him or not. It takes a lot to build a successful marriage and now yours is even just a relationship. I have seen so many woman stay in marriages even if the husbands r shit and i know so many who have self love and who would never tolarate such shit in their marriages. Whether u want this man or not its upto u coz its obvious he just flows with the air. The nice thing is u already know what u r getting yourself into should u choose to forgive his stupid ass or u will wana move on and get a better man but baby i just wana make u aware that men are not GOD and they can always change. So even if u decide to move on just know that the grass isn't always greener on the other side and know that each an every and i mean each an every union has its own ups and downs your part is to just establish wat u want in life and know how u will handle every situation and since this guy is clearly a looser i would say as much as u can expect shit in future relations just make sure u choose a responsible man in your life n not 1 who clearly is useless. If he was mine, one can always be Lenient somtimes when it comes to cheating especially in marriage but if the man has no ambition, a user, looser and a nobody i dont know but i would not want my kids to have such a dad

Everything I did was from the goodness of my heart. I used to always tell him that anytime he becomes unhappy in the relationship, he should let me know so we'll break up amicably. I always tell him i never want to end up wasting my time with someone as I wouldn't want to spend years in a relationship that's not going anywhere. That he should never out of loyalty stay in the relationship if his heart is somewhere else. That he doesn't owe me.
I've been in some bad relationships over the years so I'm now very cautious of what I'm getting myself into. So I like to spell out everything. He assured me that he really really loves me and is actually scared I'll leave him when someone better comes along and I assured him that I'll never do that.

I met him at a time when he was starting up an entrepreneurial NGO. I admired his drive, his passion and seriousness. The whole thing went south because of lack of funds and support from people and family.

I like to read his chats. To see what he's up to. And he reads mine freely. His chats with her in the past were fairly innocent. When I asked to read his chats and he adamantly refused, I knew I had to see what he was hiding. When he was distracted with other things, I took it and read.

He sent this to me at the same time frame he was telling her how much he wanted to be with her.

Enahi: U aren't seeing things from my point of view o. I sincerely don't think he wanted to dump Amya, he probably wanted to have fun with his ex,he is a man for goodness sake. Amya has made great changes in his life which his Ex couldn't. I think Amya should ask herself why he wants to have a fling with his Ex after all she has done for him. But Amya plz do not spend so much on a guy next time, na sense person dey take date naija guys. Don't spend but love ok.

Can you please explain what the bold phrase means?

A-ZeD:


Can you please explain what the bold phrase means?

Oh well I meant he is a man and most Men cheat. And besides she is not even married to him yet,that's why I was like She should forgive him and give him a second chance. But am sincerely not in support of what her Ex did.

Enahi: Oh well I meant he is a man and most Men cheat. And besides she is not even married to him yet,that's why I was like She should forgive him and give him a second chance. But am sincerely not in support of what her Ex did.

U have a gd hrt babes
Bt these men shldnt b pitied
I pray and hope u don't get hurt to u lockin up totally

The guy must be crazy, infact all the demons in their village must be having meeting in his head.


I always say, as a man, let your words be your bond.


@Op, did you question him at the beginning why he squander the money for schooling given to him?

I believe the guy was pretending all along, useless boy.

Amya I'm so sorry. Your man will come, I think the dude was selfish, he should have told you. I suspect he waited till you helped get him on his feet.

Yhu knew he'd done soo many things buh yhu went
ahead with the guy, without playing along with him.
My dear,it's not good until it's really good.please make sure yhu play sum cards in your next relationship tho.Games give yhu results yhu can work with.

Tho there are innocent men out there & it's not written all over anyone's face.You've got to be very careful nd playin games gives yhu dt confidence.

It was a really sad experience for someone with a good heart...Sorry,hun!!

Great story!!! So what exactly are you here for? to count ur blessing or deal with the reality...u gotta learn to move on, uno?
Meanwhile! on a lighter note, Hook up with Mr Cork...hes tryna find you Educated Non-Materialistic WOMAN

@OP
i just have ONE question for you: in all your story, you go on and on about how he deceived his parents bla bla but at no time did you mention the (very important) LOVE he should have had for you. now, do you have any concrete information to share with us on how much this guy LOVED you? because it seem to me that he was with you for convenience sake.

the man was in a hole and you offered to get him out of that hole (probably in the guise to cement your union)......... what man in his right mind wouldn't take the help that is offered to him? what you failed to understand is that, accepting your help (and staying with you) is in NO WAY a confirmation of love.

so here is MBJ thought on your issue: the guy never loved you, and that's what happen when you fool yourself into believing that you can BUY love!

Yaayyyyy MBJ is baaccck ;

Had to get that out of my system

mysticgal: had a similar experience,but mine was worst,he used my money to marry his ex,it pained me,but i have moved on.there was a time i went to the police station to file some charges of fraud,but how will i explain i just left,i spent thousands of nairas on that bastard,i may say sweet words to some guys but i hate men,i hate men.amya move on and forget the freaking bastard

And here I was thinkin that because of the way most girls talk and behave towards men on nairaland will make me leave so that I won't hate the women folks... But with what I've read on this thread.... I apologised to the ladies.. Don't hate/mistrust the male because of the sins of some... Things are happening in Nigeria o... @op... I am sorry for the pains caused by the guys you loved but it was obvious he didn't love you

nbright: And here I was thinkin that because of the way most girls talk and behave towards men on nairaland will make me leave so that I won't hate the women folks... But with what I've read on this thread.... I apologised to the ladies.. Don't hate/mistrust the male because of the sins of some... Things are happening in Nigeria o... @op... I am sorry for the pains caused by the guys you loved but it was obvious he didn't love you

Apology accepted!
Just what I keep rooting for!
Wickedness is nt based on gender, it's a human thing!
The fact that some are bad doesn't make everybody bad!

Long time!

DailyNews: Pls pardon me to say this:

I used to hear/read that ladies love bad guys and I thought it was a joke but from the things I hear/read here, it seems its true in a way.

@poster, you saw it clearly from the onset that this guy has bad moral standing, yes, u did saw it.

Imagine a guy that had the gut to eat the money his parents gave him for his own future Jeez!!! That's scary.

A guy with such character or gut can hardly make good decisions in life.

Just my own thought.

Pls next time, try guys with clean history, and who have absolute fear of their parents in them because a guy who doesn't fear/respect his parents and elderly ones will most unlikely make a bad soulmate, and same goes with a lady.

The way one respects his parents and elders reflects how he/she would handle a relationship/marriage.

Sorry for your sad experience, just learn from it and don't let it weigh u down or discourage u from trying again.

As always... You think outside the box.. Spot on

Shankboye: So because of d text message u left? Not a gud idea my dear, trust me he will never leave u for his ex.. He was just playing around..

Amya,

Read this post very very well and....





Delete if from your mind forever.

Anyone who tells yous to give him a second chance or forgive him doesn't love you.

Anyone who advises you to 'fight' for your man is EVIL!


As Carefreewannabe, DailyNews and another poster said, the guy was bad news right from time.

Sit down, assess the situation and analyze why you were attracted to your two exs so that you don't fall into an abusive marriage tomorrow.

A guy must have his dreams and be on his way to achieve them before you help and vice versa.

God be with you