Ok dude sounds like a retard, why would he confess that he buys gifts for others

i wonder what she is waiting for. dump him please. supportive word ko, encouraging work ni. now take your gift back to the store and get your money back. not worth it buying him something. alaroro ko daaa

Moonstone:

She will soon get tired of my friend, my friend.
Karma, don't put this girl in trouble abeg   Her "friend" will listen and before you know it, they will call you a homewreck.

OP, talk to him. They might be stubborn goats but they hear once in a while

A-40, if you like, deny your girl gifts. is it not you giving recharge cards? Yeye! LOL!

Naah i don't play that anymore go and ask any girl i have dated lately!  

~Sauron~:

She wants gifts. . . . . .she can't be bovvered about romance.
Mos' def it's a business transaction.

Money for hand back for ground

she should dump him and get herself a Sugardaddy

MSMAMASITA:

he has been here a long time. when i asked him if he has brought gifts for women before he said of course. He also said that he used to take women on dates. but we never go anywhere. but he says of all the women he has dated he connects with me the best.

He is prolly giving u something you are not conscious of in the bedroom.
Is it golden shower??

*Hauwa*:

i wonder what she is waiting for. dump him please. supportive word ko, encouraging work ni. now take your gift back to the store and get your money back. not worth it buying him something. alaroro ko daaa

Hauwa? Ke Kuma?

Joke, yeah?

MSMAMASITA:

davidylan i will respond to you.

he has been here a long time. when i asked him if he has brought gifts for women before he said of course. He also said that he used to take women on dates. but we never go anywhere. but he says of all the women he has dated he connects with me the best.

lol i guess everyone else is just wondering why you added the "friend" bit. Its all fun so be a good sport.

Ok here's my take (from experience), if he does buy gifts for other women but not you then wahala dey. Ask him why he treats you differently.
He takes other women on dates but never you . . . something is fishy here.

I'm not the gift giving type either but i divide women into two categories:
- if i truly truly love you, even if it means scrimping and saving . . . you're getting a gift from me.
- if i'm merely passing the time with you . . . nothing for you o.   Dont be decieved by all those things men tell you just to get into your pants and keep you as long as we havent yet found the next "victim" . . . actions speak louder than words.

Bottomline - sit him down and ask him why he doesnt treat you the way you expect.

acid drop i did ask him and he always says yes i will get you something but he never does.
If you know christmas or a birthday is coming cant you save in advance to ge me a little something. how come you have so much money to send home and not enough to buy me a little gift twice a year.

he is so demanding of my time. I feel like i am being used.

Well if he gives you attention, then I guess that that is the most important thing. However, most Nigerian guys do actually buy presents on important occasions like birthdays etc (they may not be expensive, but they tend to, or even give cash for you to buy what you like). However, if you say that he sends money home, it means that he has an additional burden which you yourself do not have, so shouldn't it be you helping him out financially?

I however do think that a little present once or twice a year is not too much to expect, though I do not think you should expect him to dole out his money to assist you even if you are struggling (I am working on the premise that his salary is not like triple yours nor is he a millionaire). You should learn to live within your means. Talk to him about the gift issue and for goodness sake stop buying him gifts/things.

he doesnt give you anything for your birthday?  

Run fast . . . that guy has no plans for you . . . i've been there done that too.  

@ blissfullynaughty (this ur name sef dey call me) . . . giving her attention is no guarantee of anything. Men can do anything to create an illusion that all is well when deep down they are busy planning how to catch the next fish.

A-40:

Naah i don't play that anymore go and ask any girl i have dated lately!  

Ah! Jawo! Recharge cards are not sensible gifts anymore. What gift are you giving girls these days?
Don't you give girls birthday gifts? Don't you give them Val's day gifts?
I say the guy is either cheap or he's just ignorant of the effect of gifts on a girl.
She's bound to give him a great time in bed after she gets a gift.

Dump Him.get a richer dude.afterall romance is finance.seriously dump him.don't think bout it do it

MSMAMASITA:

acid drop i did ask him and he always says yes i will get you something but he never does.
If you know christmas or a birthday is coming can't you save in advance to ge me a little something. how come you have so much money to send home and not enough to buy me a little gift twice a year.

Do u buy him GIFTS??

he is so demanding of my time. I feel like i am being used.

U feel like u are being used?? That is so funny.

if you still want to hang around with him, just make sure you don't spend your own dime. for the gift you got for him, if you still have it, take it back and get your money i say. about the akamu he got it's cold one.

sisi, e ne kuma walahi alaroro no good. it's so easy to know.

yaya, ya de de ban gan ki ba.

men i just pissed maself laughing at this thread . . . . . Poster do you think we are fools?? LOL!!!!!!!

he told me that now he is working on some projects back home.
sometimes he tells me that he is broke, but then the phone rings in the middle of the night and he is forced to send money home the next day. i really dont know what is being said on the phone because of his language.

MSMAMASITA:

he is so demanding of my time. I feel like i am being used.

If you feel used, then dump him. It seems like you like feeling used. Life is not hard and you should be prepared to move on or be prepared to deal with this through out your relationship with this guy. Like I said earlier, the average nigerian guy is not so stingy as to be unable and unwilling to buy you something a couple of times a year.

How are you sure he does not have a wife (and maybe even children) back home in Nigeria? Don't let anyone use you anyhow mate.

MSMAMASITA:

he told me that now he is working on some projects back home.
sometimes he tells me that he is broke, but then the phone rings in the middle of the night and he is forced to send money home the next day. i really don't know what is being said on the phone because of his language.

It means he has family obligations apparently.

KarmaMod:

Ok dude sounds like a retard, why would he confess that he buys gifts for others

You know him actully telling her he buy gifts for others kind of takes this to another level. Maybe he thinks what is between them is too deep for triteness. I mean what will he buy. . . Flowers? Chocolate? Perfume? Underwear? Jewelry?

It's easy to buy people you are not close to anything but with someone you love, it's hard to find just the right thing to express what you feel and you just figure the best medium to use is YOURSELF and in my opinion, I think this is what he is doing. Besides, I kind of think the core of the matter is that Mamasista isn't being given a chance to do forifori to her friends

I think the boli and epa I eat this evening was laced with something because I can't believe I am taking a Naija guy's side.

sisi, david and karmamod you guys are wicked. you wont allow some young lady fool you for aone minute. NL is a very funny place

Sisi Jinx:
I think the boli and epa I eat this evening was laced with something because I can't believe I am taking a Naija guy's side.

thank God for good diets

MSMAMASITA:

he told me that now he is working on some projects back home.
sometimes he tells me that he is broke, but then the phone rings in the middle of the night and he is forced to send money home the next day. i really don't know what is being said on the phone because of his language.

Its obvious you're not really a part of his plans. Time for a long hard talk with the dude.

Sisi Jinx:

It's easy to buy people you are not close to anything but with someone you love, it's hard to find just the right thing to express what you feel and you just figure the best medium to use is YOURSELF and in my opinion, I think this is what he is doing.

Hogwash 

Moonstone:

Ah! Jawo! Recharge cards are not sensible gifts anymore. What gift are you giving girls these days?
Don't you give girls birthday gifts? Don't you give them Val's day gifts?
I say the guy is either cheap or he's just ignorant of the effect of gifts on a girl.
She's bound to give him a great time in bed after she gets a gift.

Thank God you know i was hoping Naija girls have not downgraded to that level.I plead the fifth

Yes i buy gifts but not just for any girl and it has to be mutual i don't need no parasite,It is either we exchange gifts or we don't bother at all

MSMAMASITA:

acid drop i did ask him and he always says yes i will get you something but he never does.
If you know christmas or a birthday is coming can't you save in advance to ge me a little something. how come you have so much money to send home and not enough to buy me a little gift twice a year.

he is so demanding of my time. I feel like i am being used.

What? Oh okay if that's the case, then it is time to get out. . . NOW!!!

Your thread should have been titled He is Demanding and I feel like I'm being Used, because this is worse than the gift issue. . . except of course, if  for you. . . not getting gifts takes precedence over him being demanding of your time and using you.

Get a richer guy Get a richer guyGet a richer guyGet a richer guy

*Hauwa*:

if you still want to hang around with him, just make sure you don't spend your own dime. for the gift you got for him, if you still have it, take it back and get your money i say. about the akamu he got it's cold one.

sisi, e ne kuma walahi alaroro no good. it's so easy to know.

yaya, ya de de ban gan ki ba.

Bwahahahaha! Yes, Yes. . . alaroro o da arol arol!!

JJYOU:

sisi, david and karmamod you guys are wicked. you wont allow some young lady fool you for aone minute. NL is a very funny place thank God for good diets

Rotflmao! Well you know I'm cutting that crap out of my diet ASAP!!!!

KarmaMod:

Hogwash 

Hehehehehehe. . . . Boli and Epa is mind twisting.

Yes, that's my excuse and I am sticking to it!

i buy him a gift for each occasion. im so confused  

wife back home? he only goes home once a year.

A-40:

Thank God you know i was hoping Naija girls have not downgraded to that level.I plead the fifth

Yes i buy gifts but not just for any girl and it has to be mutual i don't need no parasite,It is either we exchange gifts or we don't bother at all

Giving gifts is not trade-by-barter. I am sure the OP gives her man gifts and he just doesn't think so much of it.
Women are very giving. They only have different definitions of gifts. There's also a commensalism kinda of relationship where one person gains and the other gains or loses anything. That's how it should be in giving gifts.

Let's face it. . . naija dudes are not just that romantically-inclined

davidylan:

@ blissfullynaughty (this ur name sef dey call me) . . . giving her attention is no guarantee of anything. Men can do anything to create an illusion that all is well when deep down they are busy planning how to catch the next fish.

@ David, I did not say it is a guarantee. What I meant was that at least her story is not that he is too busy with other matters to deal with her. Nothing is a guarantee. And certainly gifts are not, nor is even marriage. We just have to learn to deal with situations as they arise and take the actions we believe best suit us. Personally, I believe that from what Mama-wetin-call posted, the writing is on the wall but her love tainted glasses will not let her see straight.

MSMAMASITA:

i buy him a gift for each occasion. I'm so confused  

wife back home? he only goes home once a year.

You bought him a girft each time and he never reciprocated and you are STILL wondering if you should give a Christmas present?

Are you drunk? Stop the presents and enjoy the other parts of the relationship as that seems to be his only flaw. abi?

thank you blisfullynaught and davidyln - i think i will take your advice and have a serious talk with him.

he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together. I love him and he says he loves me more than anyone hes ever been with but i justt dont understand what the probelm is.

he loves your toto, shine ya eyes. stop giving him that too. girl, shine ya eyes now eh?