I mentioned sex the first time for a reason.

Being right is a curse

MSMAMASITA:

wife back home? he only goes home once a year.

You obviously do not have a clue. So you do not know that there are many men who have wives back home who they do not return to in years and years. Moreover, he may not have a wife yet but may have plans to "buy" one from back home. My former workmate who now lives in Canada had a live-in girlfriend while his people were carrying wine to his Nigerian wife's parents abode to ask for her hand in marriage. Anything is possible.

MSMAMASITA:

thank you blisfullynaught and davidyln - i think i will take your advice and have a serious talk with him.

he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together. I love him and he says he loves me more than anyone hes ever been with but i justt don't understand what the probelm is.

Nwa mama . . . my suspicions are confirmed.  
Take it from a dude . . . the guy has no plans for you. Been there done that . . . after the sex you dont exist.  

Moonstone:

Let's face it. . . naija dudes are not just that romantically-inclined

its not true. We are only more pragmatic.
Why shld i buy you a gift when i dont see a future between us? Why take you out to dinner when the only thing i can seem to think of hrs after that is what important thing i could have used the money i wasted on you for?

When a naija dude is down with you . . . you dont need to be told. Infact you will be the one embarrassed with too many gifts.
Dude is only interested in the OPs body full stop.

I dont agree. Dudes buy stuff for "pretend gfs" most times.

They just dont show them to friends or family

MSMAMASITA:

he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together. I love him and he says he loves me more than anyone hes ever been with but i justt don't understand what the probelm is.

Kontinue to give. . . . . . . .God loves a cheerful giver.
There's a reward somewhere for you ahead. Keep doing what u are doing.

to be fair i will say that we talk on the phone for hours about current events when i am not with him. so could it still be about the sex? we never go out on dates but we do talk for hours which is why he says he feels that connection with me.

he gets upset when i go out with friends and questions me to death abou if any men has approched me.

what kind of wife will allow this type of treatment about not seeing her husband for so long.

my granny alway said a mothers greatest tragedy is giving birth to a fool.

MSMAMASITA:

thank you blisfullynaught and davidyln - i think i will take your advice and have a serious talk with him.

he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together. I love him and he says he loves me more than anyone hes ever been with but i justt don't understand what the probelm is.

you are still getting all these info via phone?

blissfullynaughty:

You obviously do not have a clue. So you do not know that there are many men who have wives back home who they do not return to in years and years. Moreover, he may not have a wife yet but may have plans to "buy" one from back home. My former workmate who now lives in Canada had a live-in girlfriend while his people were carrying wine to his Nigerian wife's parents abode to ask for her hand in marriage. Anything is possible.

who asked you to tell that story now? please keep naija men secrets. it is our right to have 5 wives. don't you think?

KarmaMod:

I mentioned sex the first time for a reason.

Being right is a curse

you are an iwions as usual

*Hauwa*:

he loves your toto, shine ya eyes. stop giving him that too. girl, shine ya eyes now eh?

nawa o

MSMAMASITA:

to be fair i will say that we talk on the phone for hours about current events when i am not with him. so could it still be about the sex? we never go out on dates but we do talk for hours which is why he says he feels that connection with me.

he gets upset when i go out with friends and questions me to death abou if any men has approched me.

what kind of wife will allow this type of treatment about not seeing her husband for so long.

that is why johnson aja said foolish man plants his mango on the main road

KarmaMod:

I don't agree. Dudes buy stuff for "pretend gfs" most times.

They just don't show them to friends or family

Maybe they have a tank full of cash. And who told you they dont show them to friends anymore?
Levels don change o.

davidyn why r u changing on me now. you were supportive of him before.

JJYOU:

who asked you to tell that story now? please keep naija men secrets. it is our right to have 5 wives. don't you think?

You're not serious


and yes o this is all still from the phone  

Yes still from the phone.

MSMAMASITA:

to be fair i will say that we talk on the phone for hours about current events when i am not with him. so could it still be about the sex? we never go out on dates but we do talk for hours which is why he says he feels that connection with me.

he gets upset when i go out with friends and questions me to death abou if any men has approched me.

what kind of wife will allow this type of treatment about not seeing her husband for so long.

What other conviction do u want?? This MAN loves you.
Forget about his gifts. . . . .
Stay with him, love him, tend to his needs and your dreams shall come true.

this topic is rather cool, yet i fink its damn hot lol
which naija guy fit go im babe place with roses early in mornings all in the name of Romanticism,
if u bi naija guy and i catch u during the act, I'll whoop ya head for sure.
Girls simply asks for too much quite frankly

MSMAMASITA:

thank you blisfullynaught and davidyln - i think i will take your advice and have a serious talk with him.

he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together. I love him and he says he loves me more than anyone hes ever been with but i justt don't understand what the probelm is.

I really do not know why you created this thread. It is apparent that all he cares about is the sex. And do not be fooled by declarations of love. Nigerian guys are notorious for saying "I love you" at the drop of a hat. It means nothing. You could meet a Nigerian guy today and he says "I love you" to you (and you may not be the only person he says it to either). It is a phrase that is often used when they want something as opposed to when they actually feel that emotion. I can bet a fiver that the first time to told you he loved you was not too long into your relationship.

The fact that he even told you about how he spends (or spent) money on other women for gifts and socialising shows how little is the regard he has for you. He definitely does not want to waste his money on you.

@ topic

Naija men stingyyyyy!   Cheiiii! Na so una dey disgrace unaself?!!!!  

davidylan:

its not true. We are only more pragmatic.
Why shld i buy you a gift when i don't see a future between us? Why take you out to dinner when the only thing i can seem to think of hrs after that is what important thing i could have used the money i wasted on you for?

When a naija dude is down with you . . . you don't need to be told. Infact you will be the one embarrassed with too many gifts.
Dude is only interested in the OPs body full stop.

Pragmatic you call it?
Why should you not buy a gift for a girl you're dating? Every girl you're dating has the impression that you see some kind of future with her.
When SOME naija dudes are down with you, they will embarrass you with gifts but when a guy thinks that giving gifts should yield some kind of harvest, why not?
I disagree with you that the dude is on only interested in the OP's body. We can't be sure in his case. All those senators and big men giving money to young girls are doing that for what? Surprising women with trips to places for shopping? Those are gifts now and they are only interested in the girls' bodies.

MSMAMASITA:

davidyn why r u changing on me now. you were supportive of him before.

Because i like to be frank with you . . . as soon as you made this comment - he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together . . . it changed the whole dynamic.

I cant speak for all naija men but when a dude loves you he wants to do stuff with you not just sex. He is willing to sacrifice for you, he is sensitive to ur needs and wants to make sure u're taken care of in the best way he can.

Talking for long hrs, sex . . . anyone can do that with just about any chic.

Time to ask him what he really wants you for . . . if he hesitates, tries to change the subject or is not too forthcoming then its time for a honest assessment. For example you really dont know who he sends money to back home . . . for all you know it could be his naija gf.

All these na grammar so

Moonstone:

I disagree with you that the dude is on only interested in the OP's body. We can't be sure in his case. All those senators and big men giving money to young girls are doing that for what? Surprising women with trips to places for shopping? Those are gifts now and they are only interested in the girls' bodies.

True . . . and i hope the guy is for real. But i have my doubts.

davidylan:

Because i like to be frank with you . . . as soon as you made this comment - he does give me a lot of time, but it seems to be only about sex when we are together . . . it changed the whole dynamic.
I can't speak for all naija men but when a dude loves you he wants to do stuff with you not just sex.

and it took this long for this point to be made?

@ poster

Booty call?

johnnygan:


[b]which naija guy fit go I'm babe place with roses early in mornings all in the name of Romanticism,
if u bi naija guy and i catch u during the act, I'll whoop ya head for sure.[/b]Girls simply asks for too much quite frankly

Stereotypical Naija man! Not all men think like you.

really?

davidylan:

True . . . and i hope the guy is for real. But i have my doubts.

I think he MIGHT be real.
I just think she's reading too much into this whole thing. The dude is happy with her. She should not let little things like this cause a problem. All she needs to do is talk to him about it. Let her know why she does not get gifts.

KarmaMod:

You're not serious


and yes o this is all still from the phone  

karma is 5 too small? we can make it minimum of 7 if you dont mind.  with people like this girl about you wonder why some jerks masquerading as men wont continue to play home and away

MSMAMASITA:

Yes still from the phone.

you are begining to believe your "truth"? congrats

@ topic

The guy na family mugu. That kind guy go get wifey and kids for house but he go dey pack him money go meet his parents. Nor be husband material because despite being a mugu, he isn't YOUR mugu.  

i appreciate your honesty.
i figured if it was only about sex there would be no long talks.
im wondering how i should approach the christmas thing, should i just buy a gift and see if he gives me one and then if he does not have the conversation or tell him its overr?

what are my next steps?

i think you should take a look at it this way, i spent more than 15hrs of my time thinking bout my ex. at home, at work , practically everywhere. all ladies are the same. you don't deserve the roses. My ex ended up in the arms of another man. what do u have to say bout that babe?
you ladies simply asks for too much. all i did back then was more than roses. back to the drawing board. This is notta western world perhaps

For example you really don't know who he sends money to back home . . . for all you know it could be his naija girlfriend.

This is true

i no go even give gifts when i know say i need am self

Go ahead and buy him the gift . . . all these petty "he didnt get me one so me too i wont get him one" isnt doing anyone any good.

If he doesnt get you one then quietly ask him if he forgot or just didnt think it was necessary. Its important that he understands the reason you want the gift is because it symbolises how much you mean to him and not just because you are greedy for something. Tell him your gift is because you care so much about him and want your gifts to be a way he can always remember you by.

If he doesnt get you anything after this . . . only the rock of gibraltar can change him.

Heart to heart talk woman . . . if you're dating a guy it shldnt be difficult getting to express your innermost feelings to him. I mean you already talk long hrs . . . dont let it be current events alone. Talk about you too.

MSMAMASITA:

i appreciate your honesty.
i figured if it was only about sex there would be no long talks.

That's called Booty call with special needs

MSMAMASITA:


I'm wondering how i should approach the christmas thing, should i just buy a gift and see if he gives me one and then if he does not have the conversation or tell him its overr?

what are my next steps?

next steps . . .  AWAY FROM HIM!!! walk in a different direction, use the money to buy yourself some handkerchiefs and perfume.