AgapeCharis:
Well, different strokes for different folks.

Some "strokes " are just sickening.

JeffreyJamez:


Some "strokes " are just sickening.

To you. That's why the saying remains...... Different strokes for different folks.

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

I am not sure but this could be the most liked and shared post on NL

Collins0609:

she no consider when she dey milk d oda guy dry. d guy Neva chop promo self and u get mouth dey talk. girls wit dia tricks. na she dey seek advice when d guy is damn serious about d punny. do u ever consider how her friends will look down on d guy as Mugu Money Spender(MMS). I have seen a lady turndown a serious guy because of yanky. six months later d yanky introduces a white gal to her as his wife. if d lady na ur sister how u go feel. she is still single today. d gal shud marry dat guy now or b prepared for at least ten heartbreak and d notion dat all men are wicked and cheat. abt d money palaver go yansh down. make men way get money go marry d oda guy will c his own. Nigeria no easy. if u tink say an lie Google am

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What makes you think...this other guy is a better option that he won't leave her for another girl?...
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A man can go extreme...when they discover dat u're a virgin... He could be doing this becoz she's a virgin... And becoz no man had climbed on her yet... And men could be very patient till d day u decide to have sex with him...

apparentlylaw:
Xo Apparently , U re Cheating on Ur Bf ...Vewi Bad ....the other Guy is a Devil .....the Devil knows u ve some1 dat wuld make u happi ...nd he has sent a distraction to U ....follow the other guy nd u wuld loose d 1st one ....nd I bet u , u wuld regret loosing ur bf ......nd ur bf wuld be finking nw dah he is d only one on ur mind now ...SMH ..ha8 relationships ...

She said she wants people that are experienced and not kids like u to confuse her. The reality of life is that the new guy is more mature and is always around her . Did she mention that she is engaged to her bf or married. 95% of young relationships don't work.

The truth of the matter is that ur young bf will eventually loose interest in you as u grow older .

A man can't truly love u until he is ready to settle down and that's a fact .

Ur bf might love u today and fall out of love tomorrow when he meets someone he feels is better because change is constant

Don't allow all these posters saying stick with ur bf that is not always around to confuse you

@ zaralady , are u married? The answer is no , and u are getting older. The young bf u had and trusted later dumped u , do u know if ur husband came while u were wasting ur time with ur young bf. now u are here deceiving the young girl to make the same mistake u made and some people are calling u love counsellor . What a wicked world

Beverlyjean:


You don't have to say that about me , I told you that I am still fresh when it comes to relationships , I don't have friends and my mum and dad monitor me a lot , so I don't no much about boys because I am the only child, I don't have brothers or sisters. I stick to myself most times . The other guy wasn't planned for , it just happened. My fear is that my bf that I luv might end up leaving me if he finds out . I don't want to loose them both

One thing you need to do is stop lying to yourself, you don't love the first guy at least not as strongly as you think you do. Face it your real boyfriend is the one you are doing all those things with right now, the guy abroad is only your excuse not to have sex with your real boyfriend. Another thing is don't be deceived thinking that having sex will guarantee that he will marry you.

deloon:


Dude, do not insult me by asking me to look up the word "sane"!
Asking a girl who says she is in a relationship out is a very normal thing to do. Do not bring your sentiments into logic.
This one you are having cases, are you a shrink? You need to get yourself checked. Well obviously you should coz you said there are no sane men in the country which of course includes you.
"No real man will toil with the heart of a woman". Man furk that! It seems you are trying to impress NL ladies. Get real. This is so disgusting.

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Kids be ranting shit....
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"Sentiments into logic".... Now diz is really stupld....

dz is wt iz calld d 80 _ 20 rule in relationship.......

In evry relationship u cn neva get 100%.....dt brings us to d above said rule....

The 80% u get frm ur previous existing relationship feels inferior wen sum1 cums along n offers u sumtyn enticing(lyk more attention,gifts) wc iz jsh 20%......truth iz u neva know d value of dt 80% till its gone....
Gals plz wiseup,dt a guy introduces u to his frdz n family(includin mum n dad) doznt mean hes d one for u,or hes serious...from ur qxnz,it seems d new guy is askin u for sex.....dont give in cos dts wt he as bin after ryt frm d beginning...pls do nt mistake 'attention' for 'love'...'GUYS' can bii vry despirate weneva dy want sumtyn,nd 1ce dy get it...dts all.....
In conclusion,plz stick to ur 1st love,make him see reasons yl u he shud bii a lil bit more into u dan his work...in all honesty,dt new guy dnt love u!!

U cn c 'WHY DID I GET MARRIED 1 $ 2' for further clarification!! #lumia

Beverlyjean:


You don't have to say that about me , I told you that I am still fresh when it comes to relationships , I don't have friends and my mum and dad monitor me a lot , so I don't no much about boys because I am the only child, I don't have brothers or sisters. I stick to myself most times . The other guy wasn't planned for , it just happened. My fear is that my bf that I luv might end up leaving me if he finds out . I don't want to loose them both

So the 2nd guy have been smoothing and playing with your most sensitive parts of your body ,sucking your boobs,while the young boy is fantasizing about that abroad,you have choosed your path already,you have betrayed the guy. Just let the 2nd guy deflower you and then he dump you. what I'm going too tell you now is that,Call the boy and tell him u are no longer interested so that he won't be suprised when he come back and meet a Deep and Wide pus,sy of yours. I really pity the guy.

JeffreyJamez:


So you're trying to tell me that when he was 18 years old,his wife was not even born?.......later you people will be saying that notherners are marrying children... smh

Yup....my uncle is 65 n his wife is 46. She was brought to him at her early age. U knw how it was done in d olden days. Why ma uncle married late was cos he wanted to marry one other lady who waas abroad but at d end it didn't work out for both of dem so he requested a wife from d village n his current wife was brought to him. So wat are u saying

Atleast in dose days, we all knw dat wives were given to husbands wen they were ripe n grown but now ppl are well enlightened.

At dis age sef, they are still very good friends. D fact dat u havnt seen it happen dosnt mean u shud just downplaay it as wrong.

Northerners Hahahaa...there own na case na. U can't compare thers to how it used to b in d olden days ma brother

Are you saying you are from a motherless home. And you can't discuss this with your mother or your father or both?

Loosing your virginity does not signify love nor will it make any man to love you. So, save your virgin to after marriage. I bet you you won't regret it if keep your virginity till after wedding.

I don't think you know what you want in life. Do you want boyfriend or husband? If you want by you know who to choose. But, if you need a husband the 30 yrs old guy will be only your option if the younger guy of 23 yrs old his not ready for marriage.

I bet you, the younger guy may not be ready for marriage now but the older guy, from your post, is ready but do not want to push you against you will.

If it is sexual urge that is driving you, why not discuss with the older guy about marriage and you can get your urge satisfied all the time with him.

As per the guy not always being around in your events. What did you expect from a serious business guy that you are yet to key yourself into his life by marrying him. If you marry him or after marrying him, you will put you into consideration anytime he wants to travel. You even travel together if he has the money.

Mind you, gift from a man or any action from a man you called caring and loving before marriage is only a game played by men to get what they want. It could be good or bad. Loosing virginity before marriage is totally a bad idea. Definitely, you will regret it except if the man that deflower you is the one that marry you and you yourself have not been sleeping around with guys . Because, that the two ways most problems women do have after marriage starts from.

Moreover, love from the heart of men are not real yet until after marriage. It is the women themselves that have to plant the love into the heart of men through their good home training and morale background that follows the women into their marital life. This start by the man being the one that disvirgin you after the marriage and not before the marriage . This increase the trust he has for you and increase the marriage bond.

This is my advise to you and all the singles reading ladies reading this post.

Let them stop deceiving u ... no man will ever stick with a lady that cheated on them weda virgin or not. He will never trust u, u have lost him already. Start a new relationship with the new guy and dont repeat that mistake again because its anexperience already. Time waits for no one , be wise. The most important is that the new guy respects and loves u so much . Use ur head girl

cr7lomo:


She said she wants people that are experienced and not kids like u to confuse her. The reality of life is that the new guy is more mature and is always around her . Did she mention that she is engaged to her bf or married. 95% of young relationships don't work.

The truth of the matter is that ur young bf will eventually loose interest in you as u grow older .

A man can't truly love u until he is ready to settle down and that's a fact .

Ur bf might love u today and fall out of love tomorrow when he meets someone he feels is better because change is constant

Don't allow all these posters saying stick with ur bf that is not always around to confuse you

@ zaralady , are u married? The answer is no , and u are getting older. The young bf u had and trusted later dumped u , do u know if ur husband came while u were wasting ur time with ur young bf. now u are here deceiving the young girl to make the same mistake u made and some people are calling u love counsellor . What a wicked world

Wat Is dis one saying

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

Lwkmd roflmao.. Oga nawa 4u ooo

Trustworthiness:
Are you saying you are from a motherless home. And you can't discuss this with your mother or your father or both?

Loosing your virginity does not signify love nor will it make any man to love you. So, save your virgin to after marriage. I bet you you won't regret it if keep your virginity till after marriage.

I don't think you know what you want in life. Do you want boyfriend or husband? If you want by you know who to choose. But, if you need a husband the 30 yrs old guy will be only your option if the younger guy of 23 yrs old his not ready for marriage.

I bet you, the younger guy may not be ready for marriage now but the older guy, from your post, is ready but do not want to push you against you will.

If it is sexual urge that is driving you, why not discuss with the older guy about marriage and you can get your urge satisfied all the time with you.

As per the guy not always being around in your events. What did you expect from a serious business guy that you are yet to key yourself into his life by marrying him. If you marry him or after marrying him, you will put you into consideration anytime he wants to travel. You even travel together if he has the money.

Mind you, gift from a man or any action from a man you called caring and loving before marriage is only a game played by men to get what they want. It could be good or bad. Loosing virginity before marriage visit totally a bad idea. Definitely, you will regret it except if the man that deflower you is the one that marry you and you yourself have not been sleeping around with guys . Because, that the two ways most problems women do have after marriage starts from.

Moreover, love from the heart of men are not real yet until after marriage. It is the women themselves that have to plant the love into the heart of men through their good home training and morale background that follows the women into their marital life. This start by the man being the one that disvirgin you after the marriage and not before the marriage . This increase the trust he has for you and increase the marriage bond.

This is my advise to you and all the singles reading ladies reading this post.

U mean she keep her virginity till after her weddin? If she keeps it till after marriage who ll disvirgin her? Her ancestor? , jst kiddin, u make sense

you are not faithful, you dont love you bf. you are make a big mistake by dating d both guys, good girl are very hard 2 find, you are not a good lady. you HV a good guy, you call your bf. you no dat he is not cheating on you.... let me tell you dis d other guy will cheat on you... if you end up wit him... follow your heart, your boyfriend HV a bright future, build it wit him and you will b happy in life. I pray for God too help you in dis. thanks

VivaLaFrans:
Please ooo Bever,lyjean, follow your head, your boyfriend is still a boy because he is not yet a working class. Or is he an Enterpreneur? Get married ooo, or you may regret it.... Better start loving the second guy who is READY to take you to the altar. Tosyne.2much you were right.

Thanks bro

1. The Older guy is so desperate, he wants to marry u in a rush.
2. You are still young. there is possibility that u might loose both guys, so prepare urself.
3. I'm really sorry for ur bf...he might forgive u only if he really loves u.
4. Are u really ready for marriage? or u just want to marry urself to the rich guy.
The Best thing is to tell ur boyfriend about everything...let him know what u are going through. The choice is urs....

when you go to church and you are told to move closer to GOD you will not heed instead you will follow the other way. my GOD is not the author of confusion but satan. you are confused, are'nt you? go to GOD make your path straight with, read proverb 3 vs 5-7. pray that GOD should forgive all you have done and i am sure He will forgive you. Then start praying that GOD should lead you to the one He meant for. How sure are you either of them is meant for u? little words is enough for the wise.

zaralady:


If to say u b boy I for ask u out , u re so on point sugar

thank God for I am a boy
honey please ask me out

zaralady:


@ 7, she cnt use one without the other it's like a car without an engine, u cnt drive

My question wat gives uu the confident dat dis guy is a better person for her...a guy who advice her to dump her bf for him? which decent pesin does dat, and who says ditance relatnship doesn't work??...

I don't see anything wrong with his request,who would want to share his future wife with someone else,that's absurd.Only players won't mind how many boyfriends you have at their backs.as for the long distance relationships,they can't work,because he will surely meet different people,people who are in resonance with his taste of a perfect woman.I advise her to go for the loving one because life is too short,don't add to the figures of unmarried women in Nigeria due to disappointments.

OP, I'm sorry that I'm no longer used to talking too much on-the-go, but I just have to advice you in this matter; stay with your boyfriend. These are the years to make every kind of mistakes possible while having fun. Forget marriage first. There's more to it than just its title. I tell you this, cos I'm almost too sure that the 30year old would do you more harm than good. Most 30 year olds would know/suspect that a 21year old is in almost no way, mature to make groundbreaking lifelong commitments, and so if either party seemingly is asking for commitment from the other, he/she is either aware and ready to risk facing the looming disaster or their motive from the start, is just skewed.

JeffreyJamez:



When the young don't take care of themselves they'll look old..... I know many women who are old in age but look very young, Momsi Jeff included... so don't even preach that old age line for me,I no gree lol......9 yrs is too much abeg

Yet you say you don't mind

aphildam:
they say follow ur heart, but take ur brain along... what if your heart deceives u?
what if the knowledge in your brain is erroneous ? what if the ectasy men make you see are deceitful? what if the pleasure u seek are found in mars only on a blue moon? what if all they told u and u gulped deepthroatedly were lies concocted in the dark shallow abyss of mortals heart?

Let God be true but every man a liar--romans 3:4

He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him.--dan 2:22

in him was life and d life was d light of men

ve u consulted the holy spirit and are you in jesus. He will tell u, if those decisions were right in the first place.

THE LORD BLESS AND HELP YOU SISTER TO MAKE A RIGHTFUL DECISION VOID OF ALL HUMAN ERRORs & VOID OF EVIL MANIFESTATIONS.
sys.exit();

hehehehe, easy na professor tak am easy na

U wanna eat your cake and have it right?

These girls ain't loyal no more...

Make I tell u ds, u never c ur husband yet cos none of them will end up with u...

But nawa for u @ op!

Goodluck!!!

zaralady:
Hhhmmmmmm...dis one is strong!...my dear my good advice is to stick to ur bf, reason because a guy who is comfortable dating u while u re a relatnship ll someday cheat on u while u datin him,secondly, he is selfish, for him to ask u to dump ur bf for him...gal Dats not a good person to me...my dear u got urself into dis mess....wen I was datin my bf I got a crush on an extremely lovin guy who wouldn't mind datin me while am datin my bf, but I knew wat I wanted...am not a cheat and I cnt leave my bf for someone else...because u love ur bf doesn't mean u wnt love odas....u jst hav to control ur emotionals...don't cheat in a relatnship if u cnt stay, jst leave!...u had better dump d oda guy and stick to ur bf else u ll end up loosin both, I was in dis shoe before and wat I did was dump the distractin guy and focus on my bf tho we re no more but I didn't regret my actions...y not confess to ur bf abt wat has been going on and as him to forgive u, @least dat is a test of love....u don't need to follow ur head without ur heart or heart without ur head all u hav to do is do the right tin....do the right tin gal and it includes not cheatin on ur bf..i cn tell u since Ave been in relatnship I hav neva cheated on my bf before...not even once, be prouud to b among the decent gals

well said dearie,I love u! Wish I had someone like u. Good tinz will follow u all tru ur life...

adahgold:




well said dearie,I love u! Wish I had someone like u. Good tinz will follow u all tru ur life...

I love u too...amen and too

foxxynik:

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Kids be ranting shit....
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"Sentiments into logic".... Now diz is really stupld....

Obviously too hard for a young street urchin to decipher.

charijee:
Yet you say you don't mind

In some cases .......

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

bro...you sabi book well well. Some of these babes want to eat their cake and have it

Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

@OP:

Good day

Let me summarize the facts as I get them:

1. You have dated your 1st boyfriend for a year + and according to you, he is wonderful et al. He gives you a wonderful feeling you have not felt before (is it before you met guy number 2 or after)?

2. You met guy number 2 one month into the relationship with guy 1 i.e. you have been carrying both guys for 1 year.

3. Guy 2 is very caring because he showers you with gifts, take you out, meet up with important dates in your life etc. (i.e. the underlining is money)

4. Guy 1 is not readily available? Any reason why? Is he working? A student? What stage is he now?

5. You have a loveometer to measure who loves you more between them

6. Not once did you mention what you want to do e.g. job, service, masters etc. I take it you don't a plan for yourself?

7. The Guy 2 wants to blackmail you to leave guy 1 as he is ready (financial muscle? and availability) which the guy 1 does not have

My thoughts?

1. You do not love your first boyfriend.... if you did, you would not entertain a second man. He is your first and you ideally want the relationship to last.

2. You are easily swayed... in your words, you love 1 but care about 2 because he cares about you financially

3. Your relationship with one does not have a direction; you ought to know what guy 1 does and why he could not meet up with these events. (not blaming this on you alone)

4. Guy 2 might never never trust you. You managed to string him along for a year with guy 1. He is already telling you that you will learn to love him if you ditch guy 1 and concentrate on him solely..... He would want to track you to ensure that you concentrate on him solely and that's how abuse starts

5. Guy 1 might not be interested in the relationship either because of his unexplained aloofness.

6. You do not have a plan for your life; what do you want to do with your own life? You are 21yrs and not 31yrs so your sole goal should how to press forward in life and not boyfriend matter.

To the answers of your questions:

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy: Most likely

2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age: Only time and your commitments to making it blossom will tell. There are stories of people who married at 17 & 21 celebrating 84yrs of marriage in love and people married in their 30s divorce. I met my husband when I was 17 and he 21 and we married about 8yrs later waxing stronger

3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else: Oh well you are cheating so his cheating at worst is a revenge . Just as he is not available to meet some of your needs & wants, you are not available to meet some of his needs and wants also. As for leaving you for someone else, anything can happen tomorrow

4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love: Loose your virginity to guy 1 or Guy 2? When did sex become a proof of love madam?

5. Will I find another loving guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me: We are not God sister! you are already concluding guy 2 loves you more than guy 1... classic!

6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy: see 3 above

7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy: This one is strong. I was thinking guy 2 would even be heart things

8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?: You already 'love' guy 2, you are just using guilt to suppress the feelings so yes, you sure well

I would say you end the relationship with the both of them, take stock of both relationships/what you want out of love and know if it is going to be the either of them or a third party.

And babes, I do not think that Guy 2 loves you at all. He might marry you because you are young, a virgin and a graduate but love, I doubt it

Goodluck