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My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 6:41pm On Jun 10, 2015
You must be dating an igbo man or someone that has an igbo blood,

Millions over marriage.

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Holatunde007(m): 6:42pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek
Young lady I will help you if you will help urself, now these are you will do
1st whenever you both are in good mood or u just have a good s3x, probably early in the morning, cos male hate night discussion, ask him these questions (1). Baby in two years time what would you like to achieve or accomplish, (2).how many children would like to have? (3). What would you do if u discover sm1 proposed marriage to me?

Baby I swear if only he answered those question with sincerity am dam sure u will have your answers............... Guys can be funny sometimes for him to have dated you for 7yrs, dam I must hav saw smtin in u, believe me*****and one more thing make sure he doesn't sees you often, make him miss you if only he does, make him long for something abt you.
Goodluck I cherish pipu like you, uve waited so much so you deserve much from him, as for others saying you should leave him just because sm1 out there is proposing to you, they are males such decision is very easy for males to decide pls don't carry out such advise.

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Suffy: 6:43pm On Jun 10, 2015
Dear Op, Marriage is an institution initiated by God and it can make or break u. For this reason it is very wise to seek his face b4 indulging in it. For the fact that u date a man for over 7 years does not make him the right person for u.
In Proverb 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
In psalm 25:12 What man is he that feareth the lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall chose.

Having known dis, go to God in prayers and ask him to direct u

If u are living with him, look for ur own apartment for now and allow God to direct u

If u are sleeping with him, stop it because dat will not make him to marry u

I hope dis helps

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by tyconcepts(f): 6:43pm On Jun 10, 2015
TheSonOfMark:

26 years old? I think what you should seek from him is a defined relationship. Let him state in clear terms what you both are to each other but don't arm-twist him into admitting it. Let him put things in perspective without you presenting yourself as desperate.

Sometimes we men need that extra push before we commit. Do that "pushing" with an obvious sincerity born out of you feelings for him and not out of selfish.

A smart, sane and responsible man would allay your fears.


Damn!!


Take million E-hugs.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by udz: 6:45pm On Jun 10, 2015
Femistico:
Well babe @26 u are old enough as a lady to get married buh dis guy dat dreamt of having millions really have ur interest in mind bcuz he didn't want u and ur unborn child to suffer...

mayb he's nt ready for marriage now bcuz of his financial status do u know?

everything in life is all about risk, so its either u dump him now and push on with someone else or u wait and mayb on a long run he dumps you and/or he eventually marries u...so jst pick one

Thats also my philosophy babe, without me making money no marriage and ave been with my gf since 2010 so me and ur guy has d same thinking behaviour..so jst chose one and made up ur mind....

Pls Edit ur post
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by lovemode: 6:45pm On Jun 10, 2015
MRBrownJ:
@believer01

A) for 7yrs you guys were seemingly happy with the r/ship you had... what status have you achieved today that makes you think that you must "upgrade" this r/ship to marriage?! do any of you guys have the GOOD JOB that you were dreaming about while dating for 7yrs?

B) sadly, many foolish Nigerians believe that having millions in their account will lead the way to a great union.....while we all know this is BS. it has all to do with 9ja men egos and how it will make them feel much better if they can (at least) AFFORD all the bs that comes with marrying someone in 9ja, aka expensive glitzy wedding to portray yourselves as a successful loving couple (even if they aint).

C) if you knew all along that he didnt believe in early marriage, why are you trying to change him now?

D) how often do you expect him to visit your family? shouldnt he do that whenever he feels like it?! he has already told you that he is going to do whats right "in due time", so you probably should stop trying to con/trick him into a corner with your family.

as for your questions:



yes you should! dont you "LOVE" him?! you guys have already discussed the issue, so chill..... if you cant then you could always move on with your life with someone as desperate as you to get married.



what you wrote above is a CLEAR indication that you have NO IDEA what love means.... so pls stop talking of what you do NOT know. if you loved your man, there is NO WAY you would have written the above stoopidity.



so you understand him so well but yet dont understand why he asks you to wait until he will be ready for marriage?! why are you contradicting yourself? you dont understand the man because if you did, you wouldnt have opened this thread.



then why dont you go and marry one of his friends?! lol! whether money is enough or NOT, is not the issue here....the issue is that it is his CHOICE, so stand by it, instead of comparing him with other people. you cant even stand by that man's choices and yet you are here talking about love and/or marriage. you have NO concept of what it takes to marry someone, especially when you are here comparing your lives with that of others.



oh lawd!!!!!! and you have the audacity to say you love the guy............. i guess its a selfish love where only your insecure self matters, right?



here is what you should do....... sit down, ask yourself what is the priority in your life TODAY, and if that man can give you what you desire TODAY. if he can then great, but if he cant then ask yourself if you can wait for it or not. if you cant wait for it then move on with your life and go marry the 1st donkey you will meet.
why is it into u as such?....is d man in question ur relative?....and am also sure if she happen to be ur sister u 'll tell her these?

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by DWJOBScom(m): 6:46pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
26yrs
LEAVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by humilitypays(m): 6:47pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek
Many single guys in Nigeria of today will never want to get married until they have attained a certain level of financial success; every focused guy have his set financial target b4 getting married. Its not their fault, its how they are wired psychologically and no woman can make them change that except the woman is going to give them that desired wealth or job or contract, if she can't, then they won't change their mind.


Pls don't date such guys for too long- 3yrs should be maximum period to date such guys, anything above that is risky and under probability.


There's one secret about men I would love you to know about.

Men or guys naturally get bored of a woman in their life after a long run of dating, courting or marriage (though some men try to pretend not to or hide this natural trait in men)....so to keep a man or guy u have been dating for long loving you and desiring to spend his entire life with you, you must do the following:

1. Keep fit- make sure u remain sexy and attractive such that many other guys admire and chase after you; this will keep him attracted to u...men are sight-motivated creatures

2. You must be financially relevant: if you aren't making money....not growing in your career/business/skill/trade....not taking care of your financial responsibilities on your own without demanding from him, then he will be tired of you and seek for a way to run from you.

3. Men of 21st century have learn to be gold diggers too: guys now want to marry ladies with good job, ladies from rich family, ladies in limelight just as ladies taught them over time; so if a guy u are dating for long perceives that u aren't heading towards acquiring that big wealth, some may run from you....if u doubt me, pray u get a job with an oil firm and watch this same guy feeling cold to marry u rush to see your parents for traditional marriage rights.

My advice to you:

Don't turn down other guys who are truly serious...start considering better options and before u do so, please do pre-inform him and maybe any of his close friend. Talking to his close friend can also help u understand what this guy has in store for you. Also talk to any of his close younger (not older) sibling, they are good key to winning a guy's pass mark for marriage.

Advice to all single ladies reading this:

Pls gone are the days of dating one guy for eternity in the hope that he will marry u once he arrives; in today world, a guy's taste of woman changes as he grows financially...except u guys are married already, pls don't wait for any guy beyond 4years of courtship.


Also try and have a working financial life...strive for career, business, or skill growth...

Above all, men will always want a physically attractive woman for commitment, so make sure u look good and attractive...shun junk-eating, watch your tummy...fruits are good...drink enough water always...minimise meat intake...flee from alcoholic drinks....avoid pregnancy/birth control pills; go for protection during sex than relying on birth control pills cos they make a lady age quick....don't smoke!

Note:
Men don't see marriage the way ladies see marriage. Men see marriage as a big financial venture while ladies see it as an emotional commitment.

To men, marriage means spending money...but to women, marriage means giving emotion and love.

And pls let's not demonise the your guy because marriage scares majority of men...and it is only financial buoyancy that can eliminate the fear of getting married for many single guys in Nigeria of today.


Wish you all the best!

4 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 6:52pm On Jun 10, 2015
Acidosis:
This is the reason I feel LOVE is a scam.



All women want is marriage, not love.
see eh, even in romance novels the hero marries the heroine at d end. So pls spare us. What's d essence of love if u won't marry d guy and continue ur relationship legally without d condescending eyes of ur social milieu downsizing u
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 6:52pm On Jun 10, 2015
humilitypays:
Many single guys in Nigeria of today will never want to get married until they have attained a certain level of financial success; every focused guy have his set financial target b4 getting married. Its not their fault, its how they are wired psychologically and no woman can make them change that except the woman is going to give them that desired wealth or job or contract, if she can't, then they won't change their mind.


Pls don't date such guys for too long- 3yrs should be maximum period to date such guys, anything above that is risky and under probability.


There's one secret about men I would love you to know about.

Men or guys naturally get bored of a woman in their life after a long run of dating, courting or marriage (though some men try to pretend not to or hide this natural trait in men)....so to keep a man or guy u have been dating for long loving you and desiring to spend his entire life with you, you must do the following:

1. Keep fit- make sure u remain sexy and attractive such that many other guys admire and chase after you; this will keep him attracted to u...men are sight-motivated creatures

2. You must be financially relevant: if you aren't making money....not growing in your career/business/skill/trade....not taking care of your financial responsibilities on your own without demanding from him, then he will be tired of you and seek for a way to run from you.

3. Men of 21st century have learn to be gold diggers too: guys now want to marry ladies with good job, ladies from rich family, ladies in limelight just as ladies taught them over time; so if a guy u are dating for long perceives that u aren't heading towards acquiring that big wealth, some may run from you....if u doubt me, pray u get a job with an oil firm and watch this same guy feeling cold to marry u rush to see your parents for traditional marriage rights.

My advice to you:

Don't turn down other guys who are truly serious...start considering better options and before u do so, please do pre-inform him and maybe any of his close friend. Talking to his close friend can also help u understand what this guy has in store for you. Also talk to any of his close younger (not older) sibling, they are good key to winning a guy's pass mark for marriage.

Advice to all single ladies reading this:

Pls gone are the days of dating one guy for eternity in the hope that he will marry u once he arrives; in today world, a guy's taste of woman changes as he grows financially...except u guys are married already, pls don't wait for any guy beyond 4years of courtship.


Also try and have a working financial life...strive for career, business, or skill growth...

Above all, men will always want a physically attractive woman for commitment, so make sure u look good and attractive...shun junk-eating, watch your tummy...fruits are good...drink enough water always...minimise meat intake...flee from alcoholic drinks....avoid pregnancy/birth control pills; go for protection during sex than relying on birth control pills cos they make a lady age quick....don't smoke!

Note:
Men don't see marriage the way ladies see marriage. Men see marriage as a big financial venture while ladies see it as an emotional commitment.

To men, marriage means spending money...but to women, marriage means giving emotion and love.

And pls let's not demonise the your guy because marriage scares majority of men...and it is only financial buoyancy that can eliminate the fear of getting married for many single guys in Nigeria of today.


Wish you all the best!


Never seen so much sense in one post!! Best advice on this thread.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by yeancarh22(f): 6:53pm On Jun 10, 2015
My own contribution, pray abt it , tell God to show u d way out . Talk to ur pastor abt it , continue to pray for him . 2, if u now see any sign of unseriousness then u kW he didn't love u , he just wanna used and dump u . Having been together for 7yrs means nothing,I have a similar experience thou d guy love me so much but he wasn't meant for me .he never dated anyone apart from me but he beat me so much and didn't want me to be close to frnds . So d ball is in ur court. Pls pray abt it b4 u do anything. God bless .
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by abbey621(m): 6:54pm On Jun 10, 2015
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever[b](i have turn down 2 already). [/b]should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?


I've read your story and think the problem lies with you and not he guy. Guys are not dumb, if there's something about you that's given him cause for doubt, then believe me he'll never discuss marriage until he's absolutely sure about you. You mention he wants to have millions in his account before marriage, maybe the impression you gave him is that you want to live an expensive lifestyle! Finally look at the bold part of your statement above, if your guy was to read this, it will only show him that you have no faith in the relationship. For you to have offers from different guys for marriage means you've left room for toasters, probably you've been on a few dates with them(Signs of confusion). I suggest you get your act together, talk to your guy and let him know where you stand, during the discussion be prepared for the bitter truth and hopefully you both can work out your issues and if not then at least you know where you stand instead of asking silly questions on Nairaland!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by mayorbaron(m): 6:56pm On Jun 10, 2015
after reading ur writeup and sorta tryna fathom some of the things that might be stopping him from proposing, these are the questions u need to answer
1. u guys started dating from 100lv and u r in ur 7yrs into the relationship. lets assume u did a 5yr programme in schl and used a year for ur service. same with him. Consedering the all this time spent in schl, its obvious he has gotten enough money to Carter for himself talk more of u as a wife
2. is he working yet? this brings me back to the the discussion that resolves around the little time he has to establish himself or get a decent job.
3. is he able to afford an apartment and maintain it with his money because is one thing to have a galfriend that visits u and another thing to have a wife living with u.
I think he simply isn't ready yet and its not his fault so u can choose to wait for him to atleast settle down abit or u can leave him. ur choice

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Adaeze003(f): 6:56pm On Jun 10, 2015
Ask him! Don't take any suggestion from anyone here, just ask him.

He might not want to get married to you, let him be the one to tell you. Don't be afraid to sound desperate, ask him pop and plain about future plans. Only then will you decipher what he has in mind.

If you aint satisfied with his answers, you pick up and move on.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Royalty01: 6:59pm On Jun 10, 2015
There are 4 seasons in every persons life. This is your season to accept a suitor and get married. Wisdom demands that you do that without further delay. Waiting for this boy with whom you've indiscriminately committed fornication for a wooping 7 years shows you lack understanding. Just in 4 years time, you'll be 30 by which time prayer point for husband becomes a daily routine. Come out of your naivety and do the needful. Start by genuine repentance and reconciliation with God. Ask Him to send you your husband and do well to accept him when he shows up. This is the best advice you can ever get here. Ignore it and live with regret. God help you.
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 6:59pm On Jun 10, 2015
If after 7 years, he is picking fights with you because of marriage, then I guess you should get the message... After 7 years, he should expect that you would be pushing for marriage... It is time to accept your loss and move on... You can't force a willing bride on an unwilling groom.

believer01:
i almost cry while reading your comment like u feel and see what i am going through

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 7:00pm On Jun 10, 2015
sunnydayasaba:
I understand that feeling oh...we Nigerians just want it all...Every Nigerian youth or man wants to have it, and waiting for him to be satisfy with what he's got might end up being a long wait. I suggest you discuss with him and after talking with him and getting his final say on d matter, try talking to any close member of his family that u feel comfortable with, after doing all dis and no positive result, then look elsewhere for luv.

You cant force a man to commit to u, but u can only give him d courage to do so. Men are so scared of marriage and d future on like women, so just do what u think u can do to settle his mind for d future.
I love this poster. For a man to advice this. Mehn! I jst wanna marry you
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by tyconcepts(f): 7:01pm On Jun 10, 2015
humilitypays:
Many single guys in Nigeria of today will never want to get married until they have attained a certain level of financial success; every focused guy have his set financial target b4 getting married. Its not their fault, its how they are wired psychologically and no woman can make them change that except the woman is going to give them that desired wealth or job or contract, if she can't, then they won't change their mind.


Pls don't date such guys for too long- 3yrs should be maximum period to date such guys, anything above that is risky and under probability.


There's one secret about men I would love you to know about.

Men or guys naturally get bored of a woman in their life after a long run of dating, courting or marriage (though some men try to pretend not to or hide this natural trait in men)....so to keep a man or guy u have been dating for long loving you and desiring to spend his entire life with you, you must do the following:

1. Keep fit- make sure u remain sexy and attractive such that many other guys admire and chase after you; this will keep him attracted to u...men are sight-motivated creatures

2. You must be financially relevant: if you aren't making money....not growing in your career/business/skill/trade....not taking care of your financial responsibilities on your own without demanding from him, then he will be tired of you and seek for a way to run from you.

3. Men of 21st century have learn to be gold diggers too: guys now want to marry ladies with good job, ladies from rich family, ladies in limelight just as ladies taught them over time; so if a guy u are dating for long perceives that u aren't heading towards acquiring that big wealth, some may run from you....if u doubt me, pray u get a job with an oil firm and watch this same guy feeling cold to marry u rush to see your parents for traditional marriage rights.

My advice to you:

Don't turn down other guys who are truly serious...start considering better options and before u do so, please do pre-inform him and maybe any of his close friend. Talking to his close friend can also help u understand what this guy has in store for you. Also talk to any of his close younger (not older) sibling, they are good key to winning a guy's pass mark for marriage.

Advice to all single ladies reading this:

Pls gone are the days of dating one guy for eternity in the hope that he will marry u once he arrives; in today world, a guy's taste of woman changes as he grows financially...except u guys are married already, pls don't wait for any guy beyond 4years of courtship.


Also try and have a working financial life...strive for career, business, or skill growth...

Above all, men will always want a physically attractive woman for commitment, so make sure u look good and attractive...shun junk-eating, watch your tummy...fruits are good...drink enough water always...minimise meat intake...flee from alcoholic drinks....avoid pregnancy/birth control pills; go for protection during sex than relying on birth control pills cos they make a lady age quick....don't smoke!

Note:
Men don't see marriage the way ladies see marriage. Men see marriage as a big financial venture while ladies see it as an emotional commitment.

To men, marriage means spending money...but to women, marriage means giving emotion and love.

And pls let's not demonise the your guy because marriage scares majority of men...and it is only financial buoyancy that can eliminate the fear of getting married for many single guys in Nigeria of today.


Wish you all the best!

I wish my moniker alone can give u a million likes....Never seen so much truth in one post.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Neplusultra(f): 7:01pm On Jun 10, 2015
Wot else r u waiting for to know; HE DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU!!! I hate to break your heart!!! embarassed cry, if u break up with him, you'll see him getting married d next month, @Op, once a woman is past 23 yrs, d years begin to roll fast ,26 is very cool to settle down and have beautiful kids, lest I forget, Childbirth is easier and less painful before 30!

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Princess4eva(f): 7:01pm On Jun 10, 2015
TheSonOfMark:

26 years old? I think what you should seek from him is a defined relationship. Let him state in clear terms what you both are to each other but don't arm-twist him into admitting it. Let him put things in perspective without you presenting yourself as desperate.

Sometimes we men need that extra push before we commit. Do that "pushing" with an obvious sincerity born out of you feelings for him and not out of selfish.

A smart, sane and responsible man would allay your fears.

I agree with u, sometimes men need some nudging before they bulge. @ op, though u said u've had several chit-chat with boyfriend, you will still do it one more time like son of mark opined, let him know he won't always av u around if he will not put a ring on it. These days, menopause comes earlier than anticipated.
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by neutrotoba(m): 7:01pm On Jun 10, 2015
Andrew114:
op u are a graduate and u are not sure if the word "inevitable"as use by u is rightly place.SMH.wel my advise for u is dat since u knw he truely loves u ,try and discuss the issue with him and let him knw dat money arn't everything but if he is adamant,then tel him dat u want to quit and see his reaction
Dude... yhu can correct pple ryt? Den it's advice not advise... Derz notin lik truely it's truly... "money arn't everything"? really nhiigga? Itz "money isn't everything"

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by humilitypays(m): 7:03pm On Jun 10, 2015
lolaredvelvet:



Never seen so much sense in one post!! Best advice on this thread.
*head swellsgrin...thankssmiley
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 7:05pm On Jun 10, 2015
udz:


As in eh... very tiring scrolling down.
Lol.
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Kingsasian(m): 7:06pm On Jun 10, 2015
Sexxkillz:
Do you care about what strangers think about you? Do they feel your pain? Who cares if they call you wicked? Are they in your situation right now?

If this guy leaves you after you waited for him for 14 years, it is this same set of people that you are worried about them calling you wicked for leaving a 7 year relationship, that will still call you a big fool for dating and waiting for a man for 14 years. . .

Your life, your choice, your decision, your happiness.
brilliant answers from a brilliant guy. I love your contributions.

3 Likes

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by stigman(m): 7:09pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
thank you. i have tried several times to talk with him which always end with quarrel. i will talk with one of his family member that i am very close to

Will you die if you don't marry this guy?, u want to talk to his family member for what, to do what?, beg him?, from flavour down to wizkid tell me any of them that is still with their girl friend after making their millions,

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Suffy: 7:09pm On Jun 10, 2015
Dear Op, Marriage is an institution initiated by God and it can make or break u. For this reason it is very wise to seek his face b4 indulging in it. For the fact that u date a man for over 7 years does not make him the right person for u.
In Proverb 3:5-6 Trust in the lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
In psalm 25:12 What man is he that feareth the lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall chose.

Having known dis, go to God in prayers and ask him to direct u

If u are living with him, look for ur an apartment for now and allow God to direct u

If u are sleeping with him, stop it because dat will not make him to marry u

I hope dis helps

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Nobody: 7:10pm On Jun 10, 2015
@op you should act disinterested in d relationship. Immerse yourself in ur work and don't forget to pamper yourself. You actually don't need a man to be whole

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by Obynolee(f): 7:11pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek

Ask him these questions you ask here and hear him out,you have every reasons to feel the way you are feeling.His answers to these questions will help you determine your next line of action because incedencies of disappointment after long wait abounds.I see no reason why he should be scared of discussing marriage with you after so many years,men don't get old the way women do so,act fast to avoid.......

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by stupep: 7:13pm On Jun 10, 2015
[/i]this is really serious[b][/b][i][left][/left]
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Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by strongerthaneva(m): 7:16pm On Jun 10, 2015
believer01:
26yrs
my dear ur age can still give him 2yrs extra to see what will happen but make sure u have extra tyre that can fix in incase his own tyre bust..but don't rely more in the extra tyre to affect ur recent tyre..challenges makes a man sit tight and knowz the value of what he has..
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by eipreel(f): 7:17pm On Jun 10, 2015
To think that I am in this same situation with 1one embarassed grin
Re: My Relationship Is Static. Mature Minds Only Please by dam4wummy(m): 7:20pm On Jun 10, 2015
He is already off the relationship, but doesn't wish to break your heart. Take heart my dear, he likes you but u ain't in his future as a wife, maybe a friend sha.

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