neutrotoba:
Dude... yhu can correct pple ryt? Den it's advice not advise... Derz notin lik truely it's truly... "money arn't everything"? really nhiigga? Itz "money isn't everything"

Acidosis:
Na all these kain yeye relationships dey cause infidelity in marriage.


At the end of the day, you'd go after a guy you don't love out of desperation while keeping contacts with your school bf.

You might even end up with a virgin rich and innocent guy, after spending 7 good years under another man's roof


A beg abeg, just stick with your boyfriend, force him to marry you!
"Ki olorun ma je ka gbe egun elegun."


I will never marry any woman who has spent 7 years with another man. Your best shot is to lie about your past.

Whoever hears this will marvel

Toks2008:



You see, sometimes when i give relationship advice it always seem as if i am too assertive.

Sis please look elsewhere because you have made that mistake from the onset. I always tell young ladies in their teenage age or very early twenties to date guys who are well advanced in age like an age gap of 7 minimum to avoid complications such as this because most guys in their twenties are not just ready to settle down and even if im not sure, i will not be surprised that you guys have close age gaps and trust me, such affairs usually end in break up.

Age is nothing they say but that assertion holds fore a guy and lady in her very late twenties and early thirties but for a guy or lady in their teens or early twenties,its a mare child's play when you date someone with very close age gap.

So if you are a teenage lady reading this or you are in your very early twenties, except you just want to increase your chance of been used and dumped,avoid dating guys of your age bracket because at the end, it will mostly lead to you getting frustrated as you can not continue to wait forever and the guy still having a swell time even at 29 while you are 26/27 even if you both started very early together.

Ladies be wise,avoid wasted years.

lovemode:
why is it into u as such?....is d man in question ur relative?....and am also sure if she happen to be ur sister u 'll tell her these?

IamYhudii:
You met him when you were 19 n now u'r 26. My dear, any man that needs 7years to make up his mind is not a man. Remind him of d number of yrz u guys v spent together&let him know der r areas of ur lyf u need to put in2 perspective, den sit back n watch his reaction. U can as well ask him: bros, aw far? Are u d 1 or should i wait for another. PS: Do not misconstrue my use of d word "aw far" 2b a proposal, itz no proposal but a question.

ForteNL:

Lol. Thank you. Its just a trendy slogan oh. I Belong to someone

believer01:
i am a regular member on nairaland and i create this user to remain anonymous. i need mature guys and ladies to advise me on a way forward.
dont mind my grammar and typographical errors

i have been dating this guy since our 100level days in school, most people fear in school is that school relationships ends at the gate but our did'nt end at the gate. we went for youth service and still continue with our lovelife though the relationship was collapsing during service year but we built it up again and everything was okay after service. i happened to serve in his state and i was retained after service which makes us to start staying in the same town.
In school all our focus was to finish school, serve and get a good job. marriage was not really discussed cos i was thinking it was too early and since we were doing fine for 7years i believe marriage is inevitable (i hope that word is correctly use). there is one thing i discovered after service
1. he is not ready to talk about marriage not because he is tired of me or anything (cos i know i am one of the best things that has happened to him) but cos he believe he must have millions of naira in his account.
2. he believes the tradition of not marrying early in his family could also delay his marriage even though i have met almost all his family members.
3. he brings up quarrel or another issue when i bring up visiting my family even though he has met them twice.


my questions:
1. should i wait till "forever" when he will be ready to discuss/ready for the marriage?
2. i love him but now i have offers from different guys and i know the offers won't last forever(i have turn down 2 already). should i stay and pray he comes to his senses or leave him?
3. we are so closed to each other and understand each other so well that it will be difficult to understand anyone else like that.
4. am not against him having millions of naira but "money is never enough" his friends that are not as okay as himself are getting married already.
5. am not trying to rush him into marriage but how am i to know i won't regret waiting until when he will be ready? what if he leaves me after the long wait?

7years relationship now. plssss no insult we all do crazy things for love but we learn everyday and i believe this forum will give me the candid answer i seek

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Who?Married?If not,you can't belong to anybody o

MRBrownJ:
@believer01

A) for 7yrs you guys were seemingly happy with the r/ship you had... what status have you achieved today that makes you think that you must "upgrade" this r/ship to marriage?! do any of you guys have the GOOD JOB that you were dreaming about while dating for 7yrs?

B) sadly, many foolish Nigerians believe that having millions in their account will lead the way to a great union.....while we all know this is BS. it has all to do with 9ja men egos and how it will make them feel much better if they can (at least) AFFORD all the bs that comes with marrying someone in 9ja, aka expensive glitzy wedding to portray yourselves as a successful loving couple (even if they aint).

C) if you knew all along that he didnt believe in early marriage, why are you trying to change him now?

D) how often do you expect him to visit your family? shouldnt he do that whenever he feels like it?! he has already told you that he is going to do whats right "in due time", so you probably should stop trying to con/trick him into a corner with your family.

as for your questions:



yes you should! dont you "LOVE" him?! you guys have already discussed the issue, so chill..... if you cant then you could always move on with your life with someone as desperate as you to get married.



what you wrote above is a CLEAR indication that you have NO IDEA what love means.... so pls stop talking of what you do NOT know. if you loved your man, there is NO WAY you would have written the above stoopidity.



so you understand him so well but yet dont understand why he asks you to wait until he will be ready for marriage?! why are you contradicting yourself? you dont understand the man because if you did, you wouldnt have opened this thread.



then why dont you go and marry one of his friends?! lol! whether money is enough or NOT, is not the issue here....the issue is that it is his CHOICE, so stand by it, instead of comparing him with other people. you cant even stand by that man's choices and yet you are here talking about love and/or marriage. you have NO concept of what it takes to marry someone, especially when you are here comparing your lives with that of others.



oh lawd!!!!!! and you have the audacity to say you love the guy............. i guess its a selfish love where only your insecure self matters, right?



here is what you should do....... sit down, ask yourself what is the priority in your life TODAY, and if that man can give you what you desire TODAY. if he can then great, but if he cant then ask yourself if you can wait for it or not. if you cant wait for it then move on with your life and go marry the 1st donkey you will meet.

Freemanan:
Deep

MRBrownJ:
@believer01

A) for 7yrs you guys were seemingly happy with the r/ship you had... what status have you achieved today that makes you think that you must "upgrade" this r/ship to marriage?! do any of you guys have the GOOD JOB that you were dreaming about while dating for 7yrs?

B) sadly, many foolish Nigerians believe that having millions in their account will lead the way to a great union.....while we all know this is BS. it has all to do with 9ja men egos and how it will make them feel much better if they can (at least) AFFORD all the bs that comes with marrying someone in 9ja, aka expensive glitzy wedding to portray yourselves as a successful loving couple (even if they aint).

C) if you knew all along that he didnt believe in early marriage, why are you trying to change him now?

D) how often do you expect him to visit your family? shouldnt he do that whenever he feels like it?! he has already told you that he is going to do whats right "in due time", so you probably should stop trying to con/trick him into a corner with your family.

as for your questions:



yes you should! dont you "LOVE" him?! you guys have already discussed the issue, so chill..... if you cant then you could always move on with your life with someone as desperate as you to get married.



what you wrote above is a CLEAR indication that you have NO IDEA what love means.... so pls stop talking of what you do NOT know. if you loved your man, there is NO WAY you would have written the above stoopidity.



so you understand him so well but yet dont understand why he asks you to wait until he will be ready for marriage?! why are you contradicting yourself? you dont understand the man because if you did, you wouldnt have opened this thread.



then why dont you go and marry one of his friends?! lol! whether money is enough or NOT, is not the issue here....the issue is that it is his CHOICE, so stand by it, instead of comparing him with other people. you cant even stand by that man's choices and yet you are here talking about love and/or marriage. you have NO concept of what it takes to marry someone, especially when you are here comparing your lives with that of others.



oh lawd!!!!!! and you have the audacity to say you love the guy............. i guess its a selfish love where only your insecure self matters, right?



here is what you should do....... sit down, ask yourself what is the priority in your life TODAY, and if that man can give you what you desire TODAY. if he can then great, but if he cant then ask yourself if you can wait for it or not. if you cant wait for it then move on with your life and go marry the 1st donkey you will meet.

believer01:
you are so right. i will take the next step thank you

believer01:
lolz

Sexxkillz:
Your relationship isn't static. It's not even dying. . . Your relationship is dead.

That guy has someone else in mind. He wants you to leave at your own volition. It's good you've started using your common sense since God will not send an angel from heaven to talk to you.

How will you tell me that after 7 years of dating and sleeping with someone, after being with him from 100 level thru NYSC, after him meeting your family twice, after the plans you both have made towards marriage and he suddenly develops cold feet and picks a fight anytime you mention marriage, that all is well? What millions is he waiting to make? How much is bride price? What is actually the difference between marrying you as a wife, and all the fvcking and living together you two have been doing for 7 years? Why is he suddenly scared of committing to you in marriage, after committing to you and your punanny for 7 previous years?

I smell rotten catfish. And my nose never fails me.

Listen to me and listen good. A 7 year old child is now in primary 3. Next year, he or she will be in primary 4. Stop waiting for what will never be. Why do you want to wait for someone who isn't ready to discuss his future with you in it? Do you really want a hand writing on your mirror before you activate your number 6?

If you've been getting serious offers from other guys, stop turning them down and start paying them attention. Your happiness here is key. Make yourself happy. Why should your happiness depend on one man who doesn't want to discuss his future with you in it? Why do you want to wait for a selfish man who cares only about his millions? Do you not know that after he makes his millions, he's gonna dump you? Do you not know?

If you wait, you'll regret. He has already left you, but you are yet to get the confirmation, or as we say in banking terms, you never receive the alert. . .

Andrew114:
op u are a graduate and u are not sure if the word "inevitable"as use by u is rightly place.SMH.wel my advise for u is dat since u knw he truely loves u ,try and discuss the issue with him and let him knw dat money arn't everything but if he is adamant,then tel him dat u want to quit and see his reaction

ForteNL:

lol

MRBrownJ:


you didnt have to create a new profile just to reply to this thread (or ask me this silly question), you should have just be quiet instead, lol!
you see i dont sugarcoat shiit on NL, take my words for what they are and nothing more, whether you like it or die trying. my words are good for my sister, my mother or anyone related to me.

@thread
see as all you people are telling this confused lady to leave simply because you are all deluded with body clock and desperation to marry AT ALL COST, without for one second talking of what is important in life before you should remotely consider marrying anyone: LOVE/AFFECTION!!!!
here you lot are telling this lady to marry any of the donkeys (suitors) that are bothering her, then you will be the ones telling she is stupid when she open a thread a few yrs down the line because the man she married despises her guts and only used her in order to quench the pressures of marriage from family/church/friends etc.

then no wonder so many clueless men and women are marrying donkeys and thereafter curse the opposite gender because the person they married treated them like garbage.

if i ask all you deluded women (and men) if a man, who dont have a dime to call his own, can marry a lady, then you will all raise your arms and cry foulplay, but yet because this couple has spent 7yrs together, you now believe that they MUST marry, ahahahahahaha you bunch of hypocrites. this man hasnt even saved a mere $5000 (₦1million) to call his own, and you want this man to go and marry without a dime... of all places in 9JA.

desperate women would always try to cut corners in order to satisfy their desperate state of mind. see how the OP clearly wrote that: marriage was NEVER discussed, and that it was what she BELIEVED was inevitable.....now, body clock is ticking and you are here talking another language because of desperation (trying to force the guy to marry at all costs). the guy tells her what his stand on the issue is, and you now blame the guy for the situation.

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but you people should stop taking men for donkeys....as if we cant make any proper intelligent decision any longer just because we have spent 7yrs with a lady?! highly laughable!

humilitypays:
Many single guys in Nigeria of today will never want to get married until they have attained a certain level of financial success; every focused guy have his set financial target b4 getting married. Its not their fault, its how they are wired psychologically and no woman can make them change that except the woman is going to give them that desired wealth or job or contract, if she can't, then they won't change their mind.


Pls don't date such guys for too long- 3yrs should be maximum period to date such guys, anything above that is risky and under probability.


There's one secret about men I would love you to know about.

Men or guys naturally get bored of a woman in their life after a long run of dating, courting or marriage (though some men try to pretend not to or hide this natural trait in men)....so to keep a man or guy u have been dating for long loving you and desiring to spend his entire life with you, you must do the following:

1. Keep fit- make sure u remain sexy and attractive such that many other guys admire and chase after you; this will keep him attracted to u...men are sight-motivated creatures

2. You must be financially relevant: if you aren't making money....not growing in your career/business/skill/trade....not taking care of your financial responsibilities on your own without demanding from him, then he will be tired of you and seek for a way to run from you.

3. Men of 21st century have learn to be gold diggers too: guys now want to marry ladies with good job, ladies from rich family, ladies in limelight just as ladies taught them over time; so if a guy u are dating for long perceives that u aren't heading towards acquiring that big wealth, some may run from you....if u doubt me, pray u get a job with an oil firm and watch this same guy feeling cold to marry u rush to see your parents for traditional marriage rights.

My advice to you:

Don't turn down other guys who are truly serious...start considering better options and before u do so, please do pre-inform him and maybe any of his close friend. Talking to his close friend can also help u understand what this guy has in store for you. Also talk to any of his close younger (not older) sibling, they are good key to winning a guy's pass mark for marriage.

Advice to all single ladies reading this:

Pls gone are the days of dating one guy for eternity in the hope that he will marry u once he arrives; in today world, a guy's taste of woman changes as he grows financially...except u guys are married already, pls don't wait for any guy beyond 4years of courtship.


Also try and have a working financial life...strive for career, business, or skill growth...

Above all, men will always want a physically attractive woman for commitment, so make sure u look good and attractive...shun junk-eating, watch your tummy...fruits are good...drink enough water always...minimise meat intake...flee from alcoholic drinks....avoid pregnancy/birth control pills; go for protection during sex than relying on birth control pills cos they make a lady age quick....don't smoke!

Note:
Men don't see marriage the way ladies see marriage. Men see marriage as a big financial venture while ladies see it as an emotional commitment.

To men, marriage means spending money...but to women, marriage means giving emotion and love.

And pls let's not demonise the your guy because marriage scares majority of men...and it is only financial buoyancy that can eliminate the fear of getting married for many single guys in Nigeria of today.


Wish you all the best!

Sexxkillz:
Your relationship isn't static. It's not even dying. . . Your relationship is dead.

That guy has someone else in mind. He wants you to leave at your own volition. It's good you've started using your common sense since God will not send an angel from heaven to talk to you.

How will you tell me that after 7 years of dating and sleeping with someone, after being with him from 100 level thru NYSC, after him meeting your family twice, after the plans you both have made towards marriage and he suddenly develops cold feet and picks a fight anytime you mention marriage, that all is well? What millions is he waiting to make? How much is bride price? What is actually the difference between marrying you as a wife, and all the fvcking and living together you two have been doing for 7 years? Why is he suddenly scared of committing to you in marriage, after committing to you and your punanny for 7 previous years?

I smell rotten catfish. And my nose never fails me.

Listen to me and listen good. A 7 year old child is now in primary 3. Next year, he or she will be in primary 4. Stop waiting for what will never be. Why do you want to wait for someone who isn't ready to discuss his future with you in it? Do you really want a hand writing on your mirror before you activate your number 6?

If you've been getting serious offers from other guys, stop turning them down and start paying them attention. Your happiness here is key. Make yourself happy. Why should your happiness depend on one man who doesn't want to discuss his future with you in it? Why do you want to wait for a selfish man who cares only about his millions? Do you not know that after he makes his millions, he's gonna dump you? Do you not know?

If you wait, you'll regret. He has already left you, but you are yet to get the confirmation, or as we say in banking terms, you never receive the alert. . .

stigman:


Will you die if you don't marry this guy?, u want to talk to his family member for what, to do what?, beg him?, from flavour down to wizkid tell me any of them that is still with their girl friend after making their millions, my girl was in ur position, she wanted to leave, I proposed to show her that she's all that I have got, he is not man enough, he will never be ready, he is just enjoying you while it last, check very well you will find out that he is cheating on you, just let go he is not yours,