i think i u'stand wat topup n Uju are saying, both right
but facing d harsh realities of our time nothing is right or wrong,
it is wat it is and wat isnt

Ujujoan:

You know what baffles me in this thread, is not just height of hypocrisy from the ladies, but the blatant display of total disrespect from the guys.

I use the word ‘hypocrisy’ cos I can boldly say that every girl appreciates a little spoiling from her man. I’m not accusing you ladies of using that as a basis for selection, but don’t tell me you don’t smile when a guy buys you a gift. If you all are as sensible as you claim, then you’ll know the ‘treasure’ is not going to make you fall for a guy. You won’t even accept gifts from a guy you don’t like. But if a guy you like doesn’t buy you gifts or spend a dime on you, you’ll be the first people to post ‘he’s stingy’ on this forum.

As for the guys, you all come here to say ‘ladies are no more worth it, ladies are cheap, they are booty-calls, no time to waste, what’s the point . . . ‘ How do you even expect to meet decent girls with that mentality?

I asked a simple question. . . . .What happened to ‘Treasure’? Most of you have decided to ignore the question and attack me personally. Now I don’t mind being the NL gold-digger, I don’t even mind being called materialistic. But when are people going to start understanding that materials things does not rule out love. That a guy spends on you doesn’t mean you don’t love him for who he is and also the fact that he’s stingy doesn’t make your love real. That a guy is broke doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be truly loved, but can’t the rich guys get the same benefit?

Just because a guy can buy a lady a lot of nice things doesn’t mean he’s trying to buy her love. Those are just things what money brings. The heart is all that matter in the end.

So maybe if you all start thinking like that, you’ll stop seeing ‘treasure’ as something negative!!

I am sure if you show a guy dat you LOVE & CARE for him wooing you won't be a problem so far your love is real, you always talk about what you want but never for once say anything about what u are going to give apart from ass to get what you want maybe you need to think about that and i guess dats why all d ladies here are against you not being HYPOCRITE.

The society we live in today's one where money obviously comes first before anyother thing

Uju, I understand what you mean by the "treasure" . . .as it necessarily doesn't have to include the extravagant luxuries that our so-called young girls obviously lust for in a guy. . .

Thankfully, i got me a girl who's NOT really into that cash-for-hand, back-for-ground sorta thing *innit the language?*. . I could get her good stuff but then she'd refuse it all in the name of me wanting to impress her  

It's the 21st century and NO girl/woman/lady would wanna be in shackles forever. . .thats why we have young girls marrying men old enough to be their parents, prostitutes who want the "big life" the fast way, one-night standers (chop n clean mouth) etc. . .

But then there're the good ones, like mine. . .who OBVIOUSLY ain't all about the cash (even when i have enough to splash on her)

topup:

Stinginess I think means much more than just withholding money.

A man showers you with money and gifts, but when it comes to night time, he switches on the tv, watches his favourite shows, ignores you, you get tired and start feeling sleepy, at which point you make your way to bed, but first you try and kiss him, and he doesn't care, he doesn't kiss back, because his tv is more important, you go to bed, and lie feeling a deep desire for a want from him, affection.

I think affection is much more powerful.

Firstly, I have only ever ONCE received a gift from a guy, and I thought it was weird, we had only just met and he was showering me with gifts, forcing me to notice him. I didn't like him because of it, and he probably didn't understand that. When we start placing money first, we start doing things the wrong way around.

I don't think women are being hypocrytical but some women obviously think money and gifts are the best way to tell a guy's intentions. How many players can buy a diamond necklace tell me, but how many can listen to you pour your emotions, kiss you goodnight everynight, make sure to check up on you at work.

Roses are sweet, jewellery is amazing, but without the thought and love behind it, it spells nothing. Okay, let me imagine, I've been with a guy for a year and he has not bought me a single gift, that would be strange, because of course it would have been my birthday, but if he's made my year special, for example done something else, that left a much more powerful gift in my heart, e.g. if he created a wonderful memory from a moment, I would not feel any worse off than the woman across the street with her 24carat diamond ring.

I don't want a stingy or cheap man, but money is not the only way to tell this. A rich man can be stingy in attitude even when he's giving you all the diamonds in the world.

Why do they have to be independent of each other? The affection and the gifts, I mean. Why does it have to be an eithr or? Can't a guy express his affection and still be able to give his girl gifts?

A guy travels out of the country and gets you a Swatch watch, as a girl he likes, and you rule him out and trying to buy you? Trying to force you to notice him? Thats a bit short-sighted if I should say.

Your reservation should only be there when its obvious the man's not worth a dime in attitude and affection. But dont you dare victimize him cos he belives in buying you a gift or two.

Dont make him apologize for being rich!! Ask Luther Vandross!!

v3nom4eva:

The society we live in today's one where money obviously comes first before anyother thing

Uju, I understand what you mean by the "treasure" . . .as it necessarily doesn't have to include the extravagant luxuries that our so-called young girls obviously lust for in a guy. . .
Thankfully, i got me a girl who's NOT really into that cash-for-hand, back-for-ground sorta thing *innit the language?*. . I could get her good stuff but then she'd refuse it all in the name of me wanting to impress her

It's the 21st century and NO girl/woman/lady would wanna be in shackles forever. . .thats why we have young girls marrying men old enough to be their parents, prostitutes who want the "big life" the fast way, one-night standers (chop n clean mouth) etc. . .

But then there're the good ones, like mine. . .who OBVIOUSLY ain't all about the cash (even when i have enough to splash on her)

Thank you so much for that!!

Imagine a girl turning down her guy's gift because she thinks he wants to 'impress' her!! Thats absurd. You dont judge a guy for buying you a gift. I buy my BF gifts and it'd be silly if he thinks I'm trying to impress him. So I would be really silly to think his gifts are what tells his intentions.

No decent lady will make her choice of a man based on gifts and cash and 'treasure', but that dosent mean its unacceptable to her when the guy does it!!

Ujujoan:

Why do they have to be independent of each other? The affection and the gifts, I mean. Why does it have to be an eithr or? Can't a guy express his affection and still be able to give his girl gifts?

A guy travels out of the country and gets you a Swatch watch, as a girl he likes, and you rule him out and trying to buy you? Trying to force you to notice him? Thats a bit short-sighted if I should say.

Your reservation should only be there when its obvious the man's not worth a dime in attitude and affection. But dont you dare victimize him cos he belives in buying you a gift or two.

Dont make him apologize for being rich!! Ask Luther Vandross!!

he is DEAD, lol


now I knw what tickles you all a guy needs to do is go to NEXT clearance and spend £10 on you every month and d ass belongs to him, lol what your address

Wooing ko, wooing ni.

A girl needs to get on her shit and have a lot to offer before I even consider some relationship tip. I mean, this is 2009.

@uju

I don't fink there's an either (except the guy's obviously not okay upstairs). . .when it comes to affection & gift, they're forever tied to eachother. . If i don't have the slightest bit of affection for you, why'd i in God's name wanna shower u wit gifts??

But then again, if it were to be a first-time affair (this is where most of us en tend to get it wrong), the impression we tend to give intending dates/girlfriends/future partners are that we can hold it down no matter the weather,

Left to me, i'd be my real self, so in case she decides to be my lady. . .it wouldn't come as a shock/fluke to her that ALL i did back then was just pretense to get her. . .

r231:

I am sure if you show a guy dat you LOVE & CARE for him wooing you won't be a problem so far your love is real, you always talk about what you want but never for once say anything about what u are going to give apart from ass to get what you want maybe you need to think about that and i guess dats why all d ladies here are against you not being HYPOCRITE.

This thread is not about me personally because trust me, treasure's not my problem. This thread is about the whole idea of guys thinking they can buy a girl just because they gave her one or two gifts, when its supposed to be a gesture from the heart. And women thinking they'll be seen as materialistic if they accept gifts from guys, when in actual fact, some guys offer gifts from the depth of their heart!!

I dont have to come to NL and broadcast what I have to offer a guy personally and my ability to 'love and care' is certainly not your problem.

@ Post
                  Because all ladies are now "Financially independent and strong women", as they always claim.
                  Hence, whats the essence lavishing money on someone who is in the same class with you.
                  In other words, _{ADAMs don wise up}

lonewolf:

Wooing ko, wooing ni.

A girl needs to get on her shit and have a lot to offer before I even consider some relationship tip. I mean, this is 2009.

someone's REALLY pissed. . . lmao!!

Ujujoan:

This thread is not about me personally because trust me, treasure's not my problem. This thread is about the whole idea of guys thinking they can buy a girl just because they gave her one or two gifts, when its supposed to be a gesture from the heart. And women thinking they'll be seen as materialistic if they accept gifts from guys, when in actual fact, some guys offer gifts from the depth of their heart!!

I dont have to come to NL and broadcast what I have to offer a guy personally and my ability to 'love and care' is certainly not your problem.

good for you

Uju again!!

aysometin:

Uju again!!

Yes o. . .she's ALWAYS startin somefin

v3nom4eva:

@uju

I don't fink there's an either (except the guy's obviously not okay upstairs). . .when it comes to affection & gift, they're forever tied to eachother. . If i don't have the slightest bit of affection for you, why'd i in God's name wanna shower u wit gifts??
But then again, if it were to be a first-time affair (this is where most of us en tend to get it wrong), the impression we tend to give intending dates/girlfriends/future partners are that we can hold it down no matter the weather,

Left to me, i'd be my real self, so in case she decides to be my lady. . .it wouldn't come as a shock/fluke to her that ALL i did back then was just pretense to get her. . .

Did you fall from the sky? Havent you being on this thread for long? Every guy here claims they've grown wise so they dont spend a dime on girls. Even the ones they care for . . .  Even the ladies sef, they claim they dont accept gifts, even from the guys they like!!

I'm begining to think I live in a world of my own, where a guy offers to help me with my bills to ease the pressure on me and I appreciate him for being so kind    

aysometin:

Uju again!!

LOL

@uju

yes. . .i fell from the sky & no i refuse to follow the thrend of men feel thet've become sooo wise they'd NOT wanna spend on they women. . .i guess my kind are only a handful. . .

;d ;d ;d

@uju

well, I don't know what you were expecting when you got here ,
From what I can observe, you are not quite satisfied with the comments of the guys ,
well, the truth is ,  no one is going to spend on a girl except they 'treasure' her
in the first place, are you making yourself 'treasurable'?
remember, what you get is what you deserve ,  the way you will be treated is exactly the treatment that you deserve ,


gone are the days of wooing ,  women have been claiming equal rights et al and some are even earning more than the guys , 
the simple truth is ,  the economy is not buoyant enough for all that spoiling ,  but of course, you can get some from pot bellied men ,

lmao

biola44:

lmao

seconded!!! LMYO!!

this is a man wooing his treasure ,  (the woman is also wooing the man's pot belly in return for all the goodies she gets from him)
these are the type of men you will find wooing , 
the regular guys are not so into it anymore ,

rickie4us:

this is a man wooing his treasure , (the woman is also wooing the man's pot belly in return for all the goodies she gets from him)
these are the type of men you will find wooing ,
the regular guys are not so into it anymore ,

Gawd abeg o!!! I no fit laugh again o!rickie

i don tire for guys and girls alike!
guys are looking for excuses not to spend
some girls are forming independent while others just wan chop
while the very few ones like d poster just want a lil something once in a while to make her feel good
big deal!
to the guys that are not spending, try to( at least a lil)
to the girls forming independent, when u marry pay all the bills (sheesh why marry?)
the others that want to chop, some magas are still out there (efrebo!)
to the very few ones , God dey! lol!

Girls come too cheap these days BUT for those who still 'KEEP" themselves they have em guys all over begging to spend their money on them.

Joan dat name rings a bell,a friend of mine hooked up wit dis jo who started makin expensive demands frm de guy afta just a wk of frienship so he had 2 cal it a quit.Is dat y u'a doin dis topic? U galla wake up

hmmmmmmmmm

Ujujoan:

You know what baffles me in this thread, is not just height of hypocrisy from the ladies, but the blatant display of total disrespect from the guys.

I use the word ‘hypocrisy’ cos I can boldly say that every girl appreciates a little spoiling from her man. I’m not accusing you ladies of using that as a basis for selection, but don’t tell me you don’t smile when a guy buys you a gift. If you all are as sensible as you claim, then you’ll know the ‘treasure’ is not going to make you fall for a guy. You won’t even accept gifts from a guy you don’t like. But if a guy you like doesn’t buy you gifts or spend a dime on you, you’ll be the first people to post ‘he’s stingy’ on this forum.

As for the guys, you all come here to say ‘ladies are no more worth it, ladies are cheap, they are booty-calls, no time to waste, what’s the point . . . ‘ How do you even expect to meet decent girls with that mentality?

I asked a simple question. .  . . .What happened to ‘Treasure’? Most of you have decided to ignore the question and attack me personally. Now I don’t mind being the NL gold-digger, I don’t even mind being called materialistic. But when are people going to start understanding that materials things does not rule out love. That a guy spends on you doesn’t mean you don’t love him for who he is and also the fact that he’s stingy doesn’t make your love real. That a guy is broke doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be truly loved, but can’t the rich guys get the same benefit?

Just because a guy can buy a lady a lot of nice things doesn’t mean he’s trying to buy her love. Those are just things what money brings. The heart is all that matter in the end.

So maybe if you all start thinking like that, you’ll stop seeing ‘treasure’ as something negative!!

Uju, Uu, Uju! How many times did I call you? Three. You are such a flip-flopper, saying one thing before and another thing now. You posted the question and you appear to be missing the issue. You said that what happened to a guy spending, paying bills, just to get her to say yes. Inferentially, that means the guy should do all the spending when he meets her; she has not said yes or is saying no; before any commitment on her part or reciprocal favorable treatment from this girl; and he should do all that spending including paying her bills just to get her to say yes.  You did not post a question about how a girl will appreciate a little spoiling from her man, which is what you are saying in this post but not what your original question is. To change your stance in the middle of this argument is a copout and a punk move. Most guys won't mind doing that to a girl after they are in a relationship, committed or engaged or married, and the guy is sure that his money won't be going to waste, because the same girl may say no.  Mugus, Old, ugly, pot-bellied guys, and guys who lack substance or self esteem and think that  that is the only way to get a girl will probably pay your bills just to get you to say yes. But, come on, this is 2009, men should be smarter with their money and invest wisely, because the girls will be chasing you when you are financially OK. Like I said earlier, I am sure a lot of guys will woo you  with cash if you stand on the side of the road and sell that stuff, like some girls in Lag or Abuja. Uju, don't be a flip-flopper. You also talked about how does a guy expect to meet a decent girl with that mentality. Have you ever asked yourself: how do you expect to meet a decent guy with your own mentality? Think about it before responding to this, if you ever do.

i think i know what uju and topup want, a guy that will sweep them off their feet. okay u two wait make i go buy BROOM.

ok, on a serious note, me think they both have a point, guyz have forgotten how to treat a lady nicely, they have forgotten that ladies have deeper emotions, that needs to be touched, they no longer give ladies the deserved respect, thats why most of them can raise their hands and hit their women, cheat without care. i'm not talking about the cheap booty calls we get often, i'm talking about the real women, the decent women in our lives, how we treating them, thats a question for all guys. we shld stop putting the blame on the cheap whores, or the economy melt down, etc. its a well known fact that cows give more milk in a friendly environment, so if you treat that lady right, she will understand when the economy is down, she will love you whether u got a dollor to your name or not.

Gifts are neccessary in a relationship, they mean alot to women, i am not saying u have to spend a fortune to get them something, even the little things count, flowers, chocolates, calls, time, they are count. it only tells the lady you are intouch with their feelings, that you thinking bout them most times, like i cant go by a shop with a beautiful dress, shoe or ring on display, without looking and thinking how good it will look on my girl. even if i dont have the money to buy it then, at least i have the thought, and women can hear, and see your thoughts.

life is an echo, what u give out is what u get. guys shld stand up to their responsibilities and be real Men.

Princek12:

Uju, Uu, Uju! How many times did I call you? Three. You are such a flip-flopper, saying one thing before and another thing now. You posted the question and you appear to be missing the issue. You said that what happened to a guy spending, paying bills, just to get her to say yes. Inferentially, that means the guy should do all the spending when he meets her; she has not said yes or is saying no; before any commitment on her part or reciprocal favorable treatment from this girl; and he should do all that spending including paying her bills just to get her to say yes.  You did not post a question about how a girl will appreciate a little spoiling from her man, which is what you are saying in this post but not what your original question is. To change your stance in the middle of this argument is a copout and a punk move. Most guys won't mind doing that to a girl after they are in a relationship, committed or engaged or married, and the guy is sure that his money won't be going to waste, because the same girl may say no.  Mugus, Old, ugly, pot-bellied guys, and guys who lack substance or self esteem and think that  that is the only way to get a girl will probably pay your bills just to get you to say yes. But, come on, this is 2009, men should be smarter with their money and invest wisely, because the girls will be chasing you when you are financially OK. Like I said earlier, I am sure a lot of guys will woo you  with cash if you stand on the side of the road and sell that stuff, like some girls in Lag or Abuja. Uju, don't be a flip-flopper. You also talked about how does a guy expect to meet a decent girl with that mentality. Have you ever asked yourself: how do you expect to meet a decent guy with your own mentality? Think about it before responding to this, if you ever do.

true talk

@ poster, u are just like me,trying to see things the way they and not the way we think or want others to think. However I think you are really neglecting a lot of facts

rickie4us:

@uju

well, I don't know what you were expecting when you got here ,
From what I can observe, you are not quite satisfied with the comments of the guys ,
well, the truth is , no one is going to spend on a girl except they 'treasure' her
in the first place, are you making yourself 'treasurable'?
remember, what you get is what you deserve , the way you will be treated is exactly the treatment that you deserve ,


gone are the days of wooing , women have been claiming equal rights et al and some are even earning more than the guys ,
the simple truth is , the economy is not buoyant enough for all that spoiling , but of course, you can get some from pot bellied men ,

I will really like you to read this post and respond to it. I WILL REALLY APPREACIATE YOUR RESPONSE HERE. then i can really know what you are really all about.

etolaiya:

to the girls forming independent, when u marry pay all the bills (sheesh why marry?)

we marry because of the need for a patner to build a family with, not so that someone can pay your bills for you.