sweerychick:
my dear, leave what the op wrote up there. I can bet with anything that this whole engagement story is a hoax. We haven't heard from the side of the girl so don't conclude yet. I have seen the OPs type before when I was in school. I had a close friend, whom I just took as a good friend nothing more nothing less, he went around and was telling the whole world that I'm his wife to be, even to the extent of telling my friends that he had engaged me. I had to call of the whole friendship thing because he was a creep.
Some men lie and exaggerate alot. Maybe the op maybe right but I won't conclude yet until I hear from the girl

Fair enough dear but let’s assume all what the Op said is true. Will you still term him insecure? Cos I am confused. The reality is most ladies especially younger one in their early 20s can’t stay in a place and make a relationship work. Later you will be saying men are scum.
What insolence, minor distraction
I will make sure am a major distraction to such girl o. It’s a cold world mehn.

oluphunmy:
I read comments from ladies supporting her anf ayam like Are u guys for real? If Twas the lady in kwesion wee she gree for the guy? Hunkle wine carrier,I am a lady and if she continues like this then u r in for a long thing ooo. I dunno y I don’t meet soft guys like u that can take shit from me. God wia is thy face? So so hard guy dey come ma way

That's because you're still soft.Opposites attracts.Trust me , ignore the rantings of many men who abuse women here..... Every Saturday they marry even worst.Its just few men that knows what they want and go for it.Nigeria men choice of women is like buying cars, Automatic dey,manual dey.But them to like AUTOMATIC!FLASHY AND INVOGUE

bamvik:
There is nothing wrong in giving out her number to males but there is something wrong calling her at odd hours, maybe she is into business and her customers do call her for booking . Jus try to enquire reasons for those calls or this might be a case of insecurity

u are wicked sir

MariaLavina:
So? she should start calling herself since she's engaged to you right?.

Hain! Insecurity at it's peak!

Hmm relationship wrack advisor spotted

Please ladies wen u meet a nice serious guy.. Please and please treat him right too.. Cus they are rare... To avoid all men are scum stories

DMerciful:
I don't know why girls support themselves in foolishness! Look at the preposterous comments above!

And we keep wondering why baby mama is rampant !



I just hate feminist I swear

OP, one life, one chance. Once you make the mistake of keeping an unrepentant woman as a wife, this is Nigeria and it means you will live a life of regret. Think twice and do the needful. All the best

Lordbellish:



I'm just playing nice guy honestly..

no body has the monopoly of misbehaving, me I can too just that that not part of my agenda now

Oga you sure say you still wan marry tbis your girlfriend So? Since she doesn't appreciate the nice and good side of you, i think it's time to unleash the gates of hell on her. I don't suggest you beat her o! Some minor threats would do.

OP, Its obvious your fiancee no longer feels the connection again for her to refer you as minor distraction...That's what i called Abomination.
Weigh up your options very well, if you'll tolerate her behaviour once you eventually marry her, then go ahead. If she doesn't change now, she can never change.

delugajackson:
You need to establish some rules in your relationship. I see she's the type that disrespects you and I wonder how you both will cope during marriage, cause what you allow is what will continue. But it's up to you, if you keep acting like a sissy, you will get treated like one. Respect is earned.

You need to make her understand that she's no longer available to other men by virtue of the engagement ring. If she finds that too difficult to understand then she's free to walk away. Life is too short to make mistakes. And stop with the "I love her" crap line. You can't sacrifice your sanity and peace of mind on the alter of love.

Bros, na now you fit do all your shakara and stand your strong ground..make you stand well well. If you marry her ehn, she would dictate the rules of the house.

Florblu:



We cant keep residing virtuous women for internally ugly men like you.

You have bad manners. You still sound like none. God help you. God save our men from your type.

All these girls with hoe 2go names supporting the girl sef.

Lordbellish:
Hello Nairalanders, please I'm in serious Situation right now... There's this girl (my girl friend) that I proposed to, she accepted that we will spend the rest of our lives together..

But there's this thing I noticed about her, strange numbers (men) do call her and they call in odd times (late nights and early morning)...

I have asked her, why will she give out her number to any random man that demands for her number and she will boldly answer the call... I'm just so tired of this calling of a thing.

what should I do

I love her and I want to marry her. we have even fixed date for wine carrying

I have sat her down countless time telling her that I'm not comfortable with that call stuff but she just won't stop.

How old is this lady?
From my personal experience and people around me, I have observed that ladies between the ages of 19 and 25yrs don't know what they want when it comes to relationships/Marriage.

If she falls between that age range, just let her be. To avoid this;

https://www.nairaland.com/4953120/man-stabs-wife-death-over

LynnnCHI:



That's because you're still soft.Opposites attracts.Trust me , ignore the rantings of many men who abuse women here..... Every Saturday they marry even worst.Its just few men that knows what they want and go for it.Nigeria men choice of women is like buying cars, Automatic dey,manual dey.But them to like AUTOMATIC!FLASHY AND INVOGUE

May God epp us all oooo. I don’t want hard guy again oooo

She is a small girl with big GOD, if u know u know.

Postpone the marriage

Lordbellish:



Now this is the full story, I'm saving up funds to further my studies by September fall abroad...

Me and my family agreed I should finalize everything about marriage so that when I by year end, I will be going down the alter by 4th January 2020 ....

So me and my patents with some elders went to her village with Palm wine 2 jars according to tradition and we collected full list and gave them Easter as our return date... check my previous post, I made mention of getting list from her family against my coming by Easter...

maybe she's misbehaving cuz I don't spend like I used to before but she should understand that I'm entering into a huge project that will better the lives of our unborn babies

Bro I don't know you from Adam but i like you already and from reading your threads above you are a nice guy. Man to man I will just tell you, don't marry this girl pls I take God beg you. You deserve someone way better I don't want you to have high blood pressure whilst you are still a young man. Call everything off. This one is not serious for marrige at all. It's as if she's doing you a privilege of getting married to you.

oluphunmy:


May God epp us all oooo. I don’t want hard guy again oooo

Don't worry your type go soon reach your hand,but don't be too emotional and needy with them.

Lordbellish:



yeah Bro but I know u go bash me like that others calling me weakling and Sissy

WTF

LynnnCHI:


Don't worry your type go soon reach your hand,but don't be too emotional and needy with them.

Thanks dearie. God bless u and urs

I'm guessing the girl is less than 25. Relationship these days is just 2 people cheating on each other until one party finds out. You're the one in the relationship, she's single.

Florblu:



I don't know why you're acting like it's cool to be foolish and ignorant.

#Swine

Did i call you a prostitute?.....

Florblu:
You only engaged her,you didn't cage her.

Deal with your insecurity

I like the fact that she’s taking calls boldly from other men in front of him morning and late at night cos I hate pretenders. That said since they engaged and has even set a date and she stil has the audacity to be ridiculously stupid I think he shud avoid any future plans which such lady.

This is not insecurity bt red flags of warnings of things to come.

Lordbellish:



the one that got me mad was that she came over for the weekend and her phone rang when we wanted to eat, she was answering call and the food was getting cold, I called her baby this food with get cold Oooo... let's eat na. she said I should be eating that she will join Later....

Now she reply the person on phone that it was nothing, just a minor distraction

I understand u love her so much and leaving her should be ur last option dear. Just do small shakara and see what happens. It’s just small ooooo or u report her to someone u know she listens to first before I take a step further. I wish u all the best in life. We all deserve to be happy and have peace of mind. After everything happening in this country u def don’t need an additional stress

Lordbellish:



the one that got me mad was that she came over for the weekend and her phone rang when we wanted to eat, she was answering call and the food was getting cold, I called her baby this food with get cold Oooo... let's eat na. she said I should be eating that she will join Later....

Now she reply the person on phone that it was nothing, just a minor distraction

Well, you don't need a prophet to tell you that you are heading for a doom.
The truth is that you're in love with your girl.
But unfortunately, she's not in love with you!

Hence she's not satisfied with you. The very reason why she's still looking out for other men.

Here's my advice to you.
Don't stress yourself too much.
Just use the reverse psychology strategy on her and she will change for good.

If the reverse psychology strategy fails, then I will advise against getting married to her.

Lordbellish:



Now this is the full story, I'm saving up funds to further my studies by September fall abroad...

Me and my family agreed I should finalize everything about marriage so that when I by year end, I will be going down the alter by 4th January 2020 ....

So me and my patents with some elders went to her village with Palm wine 2 jars according to tradition and we collected full list and gave them Easter as our return date... check my previous post, I made mention of getting list from her family against my coming by Easter...

maybe she's misbehaving cuz I don't spend like I used to before but she should understand that I'm entering into a huge project that will better the lives of our unborn babies

If she is misbehaving Cox you cut your expenses man she is not ur wife, if you force urself marrying her she will abandon you wen u re not Buoyant financially.
Making calls, giving out number is a red flag man up.
Re u planning of taking her wit u abroad if no, then re marrying her for community service.
Look for ur wife Cox she's not

Florblu:
You only engaged her,you didn't cage her.

Deal with your insecurity

What sort of Shitty Insecurities are you talking about?
This woman plainly does not respect this Man nor the relationship.

Maybe he's not rich or whatever,
But I promise you, if this Woman sees a better offer, she will jump for it.

Except the guy in question is truly not worthy of respect if he's doing same thing.

[quote author=delugajackson post=74644590]You need to establish some rules in your relationship. I see she's the type that disrespects you and I wonder how you both will cope during marriage, cause what you allow is what will continue. But it's up to you, if you keep acting like a sissy, you will get treated like one. Respect is earned.

You need to make her understand that she's no longer available to other men by virtue of the engagement ring. If she finds that too difficult to understand then she's free to walk away. Life is too short to make mistakes. And stop with the "I love her" crap line. You can't sacrifice your sanity and peace of mind on the alter of love.[ GOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS... THIS IS THE APPLICATION OF COMMON SENSE]

Lordbellish:
Hello Nairalanders, please I'm in serious Situation right now... There's this girl (my girl friend) that I proposed to, she accepted that we will spend the rest of our lives together..

But there's this thing I noticed about her, strange numbers (men) do call her and they call in odd times (late nights and early morning)...

I have asked her, why will she give out her number to any random man that demands for her number and she will boldly answer the call... I'm just so tired of this calling of a thing.

what should I do

I love her and I want to marry her. we have even fixed date for wine carrying

I have sat her down countless time telling her that I'm not comfortable with that call stuff but she just won't stop.

I came late...

but let me drop my message... postpone the introduction and watch her. That girl never ready to marry ooo. bros, better start looking elsewhere.

MR.bellish, in your desperation,never lose sight of your destination.you have to be very careful in making some pressing decisions.never be in haste to marry one who you cant fully trust.marriage is an institution which should encompass openness,trust and intense love.please be wise

Many people are experiencing same thing especially those who had committed themselves. It's a warning sign of relationship. It's good that you aren't married yet.. So bro take a walk and find someone else.

Sheggy13:

I wont bash u cos I've been in your shoes but in my case, we weren't engaged officially but she'd introduced me to her mum and elder brother, but my main issue was this giving out numbers to different random guys and chats on whatsapp which I complained to her to stop, and she lies and hides stuffs from me until I discover myself, especially about her relationships with some of these guys. I just couldn't take it again for my sanity sake.

But question for you, what did you tell her when she made that remark to her caller that u talking to her to come and eat was nothing and a minor distraction and what was her response?

I felt like smashing her phone on the wall Buh I couldn't.... I just lost my appetite and left the house for her before I will do something silly...


when I came back she already ate hers and left my in the freezer.... from what I gathered from this post, my mind is made. i have called her elder sister this morning and told her everything and that if she doesn't stop, I will cancel every marriage plans.. she said her and the husband will invite me and he sister over to talk to us.. on how to get along, she really begged me shaaa