my dear sis if this brother has got a problem with your weight u need to postpone this marriage and see if he can accept u for YOU.asking you to slim down to his taste means he is not sincere to himself if he wanted a slim woman y didnt he look for one instead of asking you to go slim down esp when you had told him you are on the fat side.

If he s already getting you depressed b4 marriage,howz it going to be after then.he might cheat on you and say its cos you are fat,or constatntly put you down cos of your size.dont forget that after kids most women generally tend to add more weight.In my opinion save yourself and let him go find his Agbani before he makes you feel he is doing you a favour.

poster--if i were u,i will not think twice about dis issue. .i will put an end to it.

There r correct guys who naturally love big girls. .d right guy will come along and luv u 4 u.
just be patient and don't settle 4 less. .it's all about how u carry urself.

boy1:

some fools here are immature and childish by saying that "no man will marry an orobo"
personally,i'm into orobo. .does it mean u guys r better than me.

we all have our own attractions and no one should be judged by who they are or who they are attracted to. .it's just a personal preference. .plain and simple.

No mind dem!they r still children!

Ask yourself if you really need to lose weight ,What is your BMI if it is necessary to lose weight then please go ahead and do so. Also you need to talk to your man about how you feel that he should accept your person and forget about what pple say .Moreso you should be prayerful cos Jah is the only one that can give you the best direction.

@ orobo lovers.

You are few and orobos are many. What chances has she got to find a man who loves orobos if she has never in 27 years?

@ poster

Go to the gym jor. Don't you want the power to choose? Or do you want to keep waiting for a man to choose you instead?

i have to say you should be thankful he is complaining now , some will only use use to get to Canada and then start complaining , it shows he also doesnt want to loose you , there are ways to go about it , you probably need to identify what he wants and what he doesnt , you just need to make him understand and believe me I lost 45kg in 2 months myself so you can still make that change happen. If you bail on him now , I doubt you can find someone so sincere and blunt.

Micheline, our sister doesn't have to lose weight just for guys, if she does it it's for her or her health, this bad habit some guys have to impose their choice while they date women is unfair and hypocrit, if you don't accept someone or feel uncomfortable with her so pass your way but if you do don't force her to change as if she was a doll.
.

Nayah:

Micheline, our sister doesn't have to lose weight just for guys, if she does it it's for her or her health, this bad habit some guys have to impose their choice while they date women is unfair and hypocrit, if you don't accept someone or feel uncomfortable with her so pass your way but if you do don't force her to change as if she was a doll.
.

In fact I said: does she want to be chosen or to choose?

She should be the one dashing out terms and conditions to men, not the other way round.

Besides I am sure she accepted the ugly fellow because she doesn't think she deserves better.

ziddy:

^^^^
Better run away from that man before he ruins your life. He needs you for the citizenship, once he gets it, you no go see am again o And you for done born like two for am, you go come be single-parent, while he gets the best of both worlds. Run, baby run that guy is a fraud. You can work on your weight/self-esteem issues later but first things first, kick this fake guy to the curb.

Well said and my tot also.

michelin89:

In fact I said: does she want to be chosen or to choose?

She should be the one dashing out terms and conditions to men, not the other way round.

Besides I am sure she accepted the ugly fellow because she doesn't think she deserves better.

Why! why! why,you are so harsh what kind of lady are you,you want the poster to kill herself?where is God cos i want him to add 110 pounds to your weight

the ideal way to loss weigth it to burn more calories than you consume i.e. eat less and exercise more.
However you see a lot of ladies (the most culprit) taking the easy way out i.e from drinking all colors of tea (green, black, brown etc, ) to swallowing all sort of wonder pills, all because they don't want to do what they have to do. and in the end they still remain fat.

One should ask the sister if she is naturally fat of if her fatness was as a result of her lifestyle.
In America and Canada, also everyone owns a car and would drive from the 'toilet bowl' to the 'bathtub if it were possible. most of them sit in front of the TV eating extra sized pizza, having a big Mac and drinking soda a.k.a. coke. then with a chocolate bar for dessert
They put anything edible into their system without looking at the side effect. then to cap it all, they hardly exercise, not even moderate walking. so ppl should not bring God in their predicament.

Would the sister be happy if the brother tells her all is well, but still goes for outtings with some other sister who is trim?


Kudos to the brother for being honest, and thumbs down to the sister for crying wolf instead of taking some good advice.

P.s. where is the girl?
she should tell your her BMI, and paste a pics so that we could know if she is okay.

RecentPost:

Why! why! why,you are so harsh what kind of lady are you,you want the poster to kill herself?where is God cos i want him to add 110 pounds to your weight

Just speaking the truth. She said the guy wowo, but yet she allows him to bring her down.

All those pretty and well endowed yarns are just to consol herself. If she could lose weight in 3 days, she'd go for it.

The lady nor like herself, so she gives others to power to run their mouth like spoilt pipe.

hey, i just understood one thing now, this guy in question lives in Abuja and she in Canada.

my sister pls run without looking back, most Abuja guys are gold diggers and i bet you its because you prayed that God is actually showing you on time his intentions towards you.

he doesnt love you at all but loves what he can get from you, he made it fast to do introduction just for you to feel that he is serious with you, he isnt ooHHHHHHHHH.

i am talking to you from experience, better run

meanwhile as i said earlier your size twelve is a very good size for any reasonable man to admire you. God is indirectly revealing him to you.

also know that most Abuja guys (esp if he is in business) tend to have alot of friends that influences their lives. ( still talking from experience)

jenny9:

hey, i just understood one thing now, this guy in question lives in Abuja and she in Canada.

my sister pls run without looking back, most Abuja guys are gold diggers and i bet you its because you prayed that God is actually showing you on time his intentions towards you.

he doesnt love you at all but loves what he can get from you, he made it fast to do introduction just for you to feel that he is serious with you, he isnt ooHHHHHHHHH.

i am talking to you from experience, better run

meanwhile as i said earlier your size twelve is a very good size for any reasonable man to admire you. God is indirectly revealing him to you.

also know that most Abuja guys (esp if he is in business) tend to have alot of friends that influences their lives. ( still talking from experience)

stop this rubbish,she doesnt need your sylly advice,the guy loves her that is why he told her what is bothering him,the guy might even be richer than her.Stop writing shit about what you dont know much about

vizion:

the ideal way to loss weigth it to burn more calories than you consume i.e. eat less and exercise more.
However you see a lot of ladies (the most culprit) taking the easy way out i.e from drinking all colors of tea (green, black, brown etc, ) to swallowing all sort of wonder pills, all because they don't want to do what they have to do. and in the end they still remain fat.

One should ask the sister if she is naturally fat of if her fatness was as a result of her lifestyle.
In America and Canada, also everyone owns a car and would drive from the 'toilet bowl' to the 'bathtub if it were possible. most of them sit in front of the TV eating extra sized pizza, having a big Mac and drinking soda a.k.a. coke. then with a chocolate bar for dessert
They put anything edible into their system without looking at the side effect. then to cap it all, they hardly exercise, not even moderate walking. so ppl should not bring God in their predicament.

Would the sister be happy if the brother tells her all is well, but still goes for outtings with some other sister who is trim?


Kudos to the brother for being honest, and thumbs down to the sister for crying wolf instead of taking some good advice.

P.s. where is the girl?
she should tell your her BMI, and paste a pics so that we could know if she is okay.

Nicely put.Let's taq marriage out of the equation for a second,wldn't the op want to loose weight for herself & look good?Not neccessarily slim but  ok,Kate Hudson did it,Missy did it and a host of others.All that weight is so uneccessary,and pls spare us all that hogwash abt having weight issues,you can work on it & control it if u're determined.Most ladies are just plain lazy & at the same tym insisting we accept them the way they are,all under the pretext of 'love'.

BUT***** where is the posterhaven't she got somtin else to say (she opened a thread and then ran away)

michelin89:

Just speaking the truth. She said the guy wowo, but yet she allows him to bring her down.

All those pretty and well endowed yarns are just to consol herself. If she could lose weight in 3 days, she'd go for it.

The lady nor like herself, so she gives others to power to run their mouth like spoilt pipe.

she does have a point.

the lady is obviously willing to settle. sounds like a desperado.

The OP shouldn't be with a man who mocks his wife/fiance/girlfriend along with his friends

Micheline now I can understand since you clarify sister and ti's quite a relevant advice, but my question is does she really want to loose weight and if she does this is for whom her our her "fiance"?

Cold, the same question is the same for you , you guys advise her how to lose weight but between the words she' written I have the impression she was not thinking about losing weight until her fiancé suggests or may I say highly suggests her to do so. Some people are very weak sometimes, you want someone looks like a model well just search for it if you can not don't oppress the others.

Na wa ooo where some guys like me they look for phat chics some people they complain,

there is no success witout a story, all u need is time to really no whether u guys are genuinly in love with each other, my question is why shud we  allow our friends to determine our choices? at the end they wont be there wen the wind blows.

i will say u need to relax ur mind, dont be in a haste to take decision now that u r woried. still get to no each other well, tell him how u feel, den listen and watch his responce, if he trully love u, u  will be the one to no better.

true friends they said stands the test of time, as time goes on, u realise wether ur preferences are still the same, but then remember, there is no hard n fast rule in this  issue, like "the guy must love me like die or i must love him like die", sometime times we work this out, we get wat we work out of it, above all  talk to God  in prayers and take good councel from experienced ones.l

vizion:

the ideal way to loss weigth it to burn more calories than you consume i.e. eat less and exercise more.
However you see a lot of ladies (the most culprit) taking the easy way out i.e from drinking all colors of tea (green, black, brown etc, ) to swallowing all sort of wonder pills, all because they don't want to do what they have to do. and in the end they still remain fat.

One should ask the sister if she is naturally fat of if her fatness was as a result of her lifestyle.
In America and Canada, also everyone owns a car and would drive from the 'toilet bowl' to the 'bathtub if it were possible. most of them sit in front of the TV eating extra sized pizza, having a big Mac and drinking soda a.k.a. coke. then with a chocolate bar for dessert
They put anything edible into their system without looking at the side effect. then to cap it all, they hardly exercise, not even moderate walking. so ppl should not bring God in their predicament.

Would the sister be happy if the brother tells her all is well, but still goes for outtings with some other sister who is trim?


Kudos to the brother for being honest, and thumbs down to the sister for crying wolf instead of taking some good advice.

P.s. where is the girl?
she should tell your her BMI, and paste a pics so that we could know if she is okay.

It is really that simple, put the extra cheese pizza and extra SODA down, drink more water and eat more veggies and fruit and work out, not all of us are thin but we can manage our weight by leading healthy lifestyles!  Of course this only applies if the OP wants to lose weight!

Bottom line,the op should get rid of those luv handles & develop a nice midriff,it aint that hard.It's all in the mind.Personally i wldn't settle for less after puttin myself thru all those rigours to stay fit.Again, for the sake of clarification i'm not insisting on an anorexic magazine stlyed model,just  good looking if u catch my meaning.

yes but cold you are straight from the start but her fiancé wants her to change while he's dating her, I guess he's with her for other things than her body, I mean I hope so

Dear Nairalands,

Seeing your post brought tears to my eyes. In just one day I got over 200 replies.
I just want to say a big thank u to you all. I cannot mention all ur names here, but thanks to everyone and thanks for all ur advice.
I have read through ur posts, and I have decided to sit him down for a long talk.
I have asked my family to put everything on hold.
By end of August, I would decide if the ceremony is still  holding or not.

I love Nairaland family.

@ the poster
as a counselor i will want to examine this 3 things from him if he fails 1 out of three, he can be refurbish but if he fails 2, he has no answer to your life
1, Every time you meet what did he demands from you? (sex, money, or traveling?) if sex alone, that means he has got a high libido he might love you but his priority is your body , that means we can still talk some little sense to his duumb skul , if sex and money or money and traveling, na yahoo boy( you should know wat to do) , if sex and traveling traveling he is likely to want to come closer to you but there is 65% assurance that when he get over there he will desist from being what you can handle again.
2, Every time you meet he nag , if he keeps nagging on you about you size or whatever the likely problems you will encountering will be
   a, he will be humanizing on the other size , and you knw what? your place in his house is no longer guarantee ,so you should knw wat to do
   b, you will be rule by two authorities( his rules and other person that complains about you size ) this will in-turn cause a kinda argument and will make his home inhabitable for you , you wont be free to do your wills and you will seem to be inside a cage( you should knw what to do)
3, Every time you talk he hides things from you and seem to be suspecting him, this is more weighty than the above two cos suspect kills relationship faster than any other thing, when you begin to suspect him then you must keep off.
look deep from wht his character is and quantify and analyse what his problem is from the few guidelines above i know definitely what kinda man he his. i wish you good as you embark on this findings.

Naija ppl apparently don't know what size the poster is,she said she is size 12,this is what size 12 looks like for all the drunkards

size 12 woman

size 12.maybe you did not catch the last one

If a man doesn't find this size 12 attractive,he can go kick rocks somewhere

Abegi, whether you are fat or not is not the issue, how he's treating you is a huge indication to RUN!!!! Do not marry this guy, he's putting you through emotional abuse and who knows what it will escalate to. You yourself already said he's not your type, so why are you settling? As a Christian you need to earnestly pray and seeks God's say in this matter, my guess is that this is NOT the man for you and you are making a huge mistake and you're on the desperate side. Please stop investing time and energy into this  wrong relationship, the right man will never come along as long as you keep holding on to this wrong one.

One more for the slow people who think that size 12 is "orobo"

well nkilingrox I wouldn't say that way because advising to leave someone is a personal decison but, globally you're quite right