My Fiance Says Am Fat. - Romance (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by honeric01(m): 11:49pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
chika98: Speak for yourself, i have seen cases where people marry girls from outside Nigeria and then the girl/wife ends up moving back to Nigeria. Who would leave a nice paying job in Nigeria for a blue collar job abroad? |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by chika98: 11:51pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
honeric01: Alright our opinions differ. Let's leave it at that |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 11:52pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
honeric01: yeah this happens BUT we both know the man would also make sure he files as a citizen of whichever country his wife is a citizen of and that his kids also benefit from a foreign passport. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by THEAMAKA(f): 11:53pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
foolish black man@MOBO444 where did anyone mention "foolish black man" stop trying to turn everything into a race war. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Omolola1(f): 11:53pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
Poster, d decision is all up to u, if u think u can go on with d weddng, well and good! if u can't, KICK HIS ASS! end of |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 11:54pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
THE AMAKA:what is your problem? why are you so da.ft? Are you also a fat girl? then slim up or shut up, read her original post again and you will agree that he wants her to slim up because "fat" is not ideal for him, who wants a baloon of a wife after child birth? lol, but babe slim up, it's for your own good and for d good of your relationship |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by MOBO444(f): 11:57pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
THE AMAKA: amakA, amakA, amakA,  |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by THEAMAKA(f): 11:57pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
what.lyf:aren't you the one thats daft? I do not have to be fat to get my point across. if her fat is not ideal for him, then why doesn't he leave her and go and find someone that isn't? why try and change a person when there are a ton of other girls out there for him to choose from. do not tell a person you are contented with their looks, but ask them to slim down at the same time because the "fat" is bothering you its either he is content or he isn't. also, you never explained how bigger people only eat unhealthy and to assume she eats McDonalds and Burger King, big misconception. MOBO444:who said it, tell me. stop throwing the race card in all the time. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 11:59pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
Is size 12 really that fat?  |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by chika98: 12:01am On Aug 19, 2010 |
^^^ It depends on why she's a size 12. If most of the thickness is around her thighs or in her stomach. Size 12 is around average |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:01am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Wetin Deep Soul dey yarn sef? Boring woman with her boring posts. @ poster You say you are pretty and well endowed. Yet you are giving this up for a man who DOESN'T EVEN MEET YOUR EXPECTATIONS. Sounds like you a desperado. You've just met your match. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:02am On Aug 19, 2010 |
stillwater: height matters. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by honeric01(m): 12:03am On Aug 19, 2010 |
davidylan: How are you sure the girl in question is a citizen of Canada? what if she's on a student visa? |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:05am On Aug 19, 2010 |
THE AMAKA: |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:05am On Aug 19, 2010 |
Dear Poster, my candid advice to you, is sit down,relax and think deep, if you truly want a husband not even boyfriend who will always breathe down your neck to be the kind figure size he desires, thereby lowering your self esteem by critizing your God given shape. I have always said it to my friends that there is a husband destined for each woman. All you need is be true to yourself and ask witihn you , is this what i want for the rest of my life?  I have a very fat girlfriend, who recently got married to this dashing comfortable guy.If you see the way, this guy dotes on her, you will wish to marry the next day. She has giiven birth to a kid, her arms looks bigger but she still looks adorable,.and her husband still loves her so much, I saw both of them last week, they both look peaceful, happy and inlove and i was like wowwww, this is more like it, I pray to have a man like that. Her beauty if one looks closely, comes from within her,she smiles geniunely not plastic, and she's so lively, the guy is lucky ,she's lucky,he knows it and he shows it. So, dear pray about it once more and be wise, Dont marry someone that will break you but someone that will add to your growth, believe in you,your dreams and existence while emerging it with his own dreams and aspirations in a positive and giving way. Best of luck |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:08am On Aug 19, 2010 |
chika98: davidylan: That's true o. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:12am On Aug 19, 2010 |
honeric01: Its canada, after 1 yr as a foreign student she is entitled to canadian residency. She gets a passport in 3 yrs. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by kadman(m): 12:12am On Aug 19, 2010 |
[center]Poster, I advice you to think deep about what you want to do.[/center] On one hand, I take extreme care of my physique and wouldn't date someone I didn't think did the same One the other hand, I would never tell the woman I want to marry she is fat. If at 27 before you marry he is telling you this, THIS WOULD GO ON FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, you will have kids and get bigger. . which is nature. The biggest way to break someone's self esteem is calling them a FATTY. Which is what your man is calling you. So if you want your man to break your self esteem and in the long run destroy you, then go ahead. [center]Husbands might be hard to find, but no man is worth that, no man. . .[/center] |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by THEAMAKA(f): 12:12am On Aug 19, 2010 |
How many Beauty Queens are fat?and your statment is flawed. incase you didn't know, most of these beauty queens/celebrities etc live up to the European standard of beauty that "thin is in" before the Beyonce, Jlo, Kim K of our generation, having a body like that was seen as "fat" second of all, not all guys prefer their girls slim. what exactly is your defenition of "slim" Beyonce is about a size 12 and men salivate over her. so. . . what do you mean by "men prefer slim" maybe you should try speaking for yourself. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by chika98: 12:14am On Aug 19, 2010 |
kadman: Thank You. Let her read and ignore if she chooses |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by zenatta: 12:14am On Aug 19, 2010 |
@ POSTER. Any pressure on you to lose weight will achieve just the opposite result, as you will be depressed and turn to food and more food. US size 12 is not a taboo size for an African voluptuous lady. In my walk of life however, when a male partner, a Nigerian, starts harping on weight and level of education, male children, and whatever else takes his fancy, you'd be better off paying attention. Your friend means every thing he says including the ones his so called friends contributed. These friends are boardroom members of anything that concerns his life. When you marry him, (if you are unlucky to do so without resolving this issue), his friends will always be the invisible power-brokers in your home. lose the weight for you and your self esteem. I deduced you do not have much of it, reason y you apologised for being overweight at the beginning of your relationship. You gave him that opening and he is taking full advantage of it. Just as if on cue I saw MOnique on tv, thats one woman who wont be caught feeling sorry for herself! One more thing, are you sure he loves you, really loves YOU because his request for the weight loss is purely aesthetic, he did not site health reasons, more into what your 'fat' appearance will do to his 'dapper' self. A man who truly cares will hold on to what he's got! |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by oyinda3(f): 12:16am On Aug 19, 2010 |
@op, that's definitely not a good sign. you should discuss this subject more with your fiance since there is a HIGH chance that you will gain even more after marriage. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by honeric01(m): 12:17am On Aug 19, 2010 |
davidylan: That's that, but we ain't sure if truly the guy is with her because of this fact, if it's because of the ''benefits'', then the guy would have just manage and make sure he marries her anyhow and then after getting the ''benefits'', he can as well do away with her (that's if truly the guy wants her for any personal interest). |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by kadman(m): 12:17am On Aug 19, 2010 |
zenatta: This is so true. That's why I said I would only date some who takes care of themselves on their own terms, pressure to conform just does the opposite. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by chika98: 12:19am On Aug 19, 2010 |
oyinda.: Everyone gains weight after having a child. How you manage yourself after wards is a different story. Also age plays a role. No one remains a size 8 for life. With age comes a little weight gain here and there. It is actually not bad because stick thin looks disgusting in old age. No one wants to look like a shriveled witch. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:19am On Aug 19, 2010 |
It also depends on how the man is putting it. There is a way you can encourage your woman to do anything for you and SHE WILL without feeling like you're forcing her to fit a mould. My gf asks me before she does anything to herself (hair, nails, clothes to wear) and i dont waste my time haranguing her around. She just does it because she finds it makes me happy. The dude either doesnt love her or is just not mature enough to know how to make a woman do his bidding and keep her believing she still has control over her own life!  |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:19am On Aug 19, 2010 |
@poster IMHO - did the guy started complaining about the weight BEFORE or AFTER he saw you in real life?! depending on the angles etc some people can look "different" on photos. - if the photos he showed his friends are the same photos that he was "cool with" at the beginning then he is a chicken for telling YOU that he had no problem with it then change his tune when his friends made fun of it! - you guys are in the "get to know each other" stage of a relationship but due to whatever reason, you want to get married?! as you can clearly see, you do not know this guy properly enough to marry him. - my ONLY advice to you would be: IF HE CANT ACCEPT HOW YOU LOOK THEN YOU SHOULDNT BE TOGETHER. changing for someone is the wrong way to go about it because when all the glitter of marriage will be gone and the babies starts coming, you will go right back to whatever size you are now(or more) AND he will have the right excuse to go and look for that size 6 cutie. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:21am On Aug 19, 2010 |
honeric01: lets call a spade a spade . . . if she were living in Sokoto they wont even be talking about marriage today. You think all those marriages between nigerian men and obese american women has anything to do with love? |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by honeric01(m): 12:24am On Aug 19, 2010 |
davidylan: Who told you so? there are untold stories like that me and you don't know so let's not conclude. she does not sound like a foreigner to me, i think she's a Nigeria with the way she types. all the same if she feels she does not like the guy's conditions, she should talk to him about it before talking the final decision. Only she knows what she wants in life. |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:25am On Aug 19, 2010 |
THE AMAKA:Amaka! Amaka! u are a complete nikompooo! if you call J-Lo, Beyonce fat, then u are too du.mb, Whether european standard, african standard, american standard or arabian standard, no one in his right sense will term beyonce "fat" as she is, not even J-lo. Though they are not thin, they are healthy, being fat is different from being healthy. i am not talking of think skinny bone, whether size 12 or size 2 or whatever, fat no dey hide, e dey show 4 face, haba! na wa 4 u o. Again i neva said ALL guys prefer slim girls, but a whopping MAJORITY prefer slim girls to FAT girls, There is a difference between a slim girl and a skinny thin girl, as there is a difference between a fat girl and an obesse girl, AMAKAa wise up |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:31am On Aug 19, 2010 |
oyinda.: Very true. I find it hard how people would rather talk to strangers than their partners, someone one's getting married to? Han han what kind of relationship is that? How can you be in a relationship and you can't tell your man how you feel? Does it mean that she's a good girl for keeping numb or what? If at this stage she's having communication issues, is it when she enters she will start talking? At this stage she should have already mastered the art of saying her mind without drama sha. Abi will he beat her? |
| Re: My Fiance Says Am Fat. by Nobody: 12:31am On Aug 19, 2010 |
davidylan: David not all guys marries for document/visa purpose! i know many many ppl who after marriage, brought their wives back to Naija to live with them, If it were for travel purpose, he wouldn't even make mention of her slimming up, Infact he will say "Baby i love you the way you are, you are just too perfect for me" lol |
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