₦airaland Forum

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6385337#msg6385337 date=1279123795]so do you mean that love-peddlers are men in disguise? 

@49cent,

and men who part their legs for no reason. what are they called? champions? pure?
are there such thing as "pure men"?  [/quote]i came to this realization as i was  posting; myep men are love-peddlers almost by default

[quote author=frank3.16 link=topic=478066.msg6385145#msg6385145 date=1279122132]I have asked myself this question a lot of times and i researched and this is what i came up with.
it all starts with our initial idea and learned believe of what sex in arelatinship is like( this is basically unconcious).

Most women internalzed sex in relationship, while most men see it as a means of satatisfing a drive.

before a woman should allow a man to sleep with her(except she is a postitutee) she will allow herself to belive that she loves the man and the man loves her, this make it easy for her to open up her legs, that is why they can go to any lenght to make their relationship work, she forgive, and take any kind of poo. i also found out that hawkers  and condemed because of they have suppressd this ability, and therefore can open their legs to any tom, manliness and harry

but a man does not allow his emotions to run like that. yet he recognizez this fact in women(still an unconcious process) therefore he knows that before his woman slept with that man, she must have internalized her feelings for him and allow her emotions to run deeply for her secret lover before she slept with him. this affects the man's ego and he tends to over react

Note: this happens majority of times in people and not all the time to everybody. we generalize with the high number of occurance[/quote]Thanks Frankie you've made ma day with your "exegesis". The fact that men know that
what makes his wife cheat in him is more that the drive he too has; he knows she had given somebody else everything, now i am talking about pure woman not a slutty woman like the prostitute who for non-love reasons will part her legs

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6384935#msg6384935 date=1279120189]i agree with u

women feel hurt because of love
while men feel insulted because of pride and "show of power"
that's d difference.


this only applies to sexist countries like naija and afghanistan though.
In US, infidelity is not more difficult for guys because relationships are more equal. men don't feel d need to act like insulted Kings.[/quote]Very meaningful insight; yet within this pride men admittedly have, there is this piercing and painful realization of i'm not good enough of after all i did to please her; of despite how much more i love her.

But is the pride bad?

deniyor:
EGO
It's similar to the fact that men usually like their women virgins and women usually like their men experienced. From their egos, it's easier for a woman to see her man with other woman, than the man imagine his woman with another man.

While women consider it a territorial breach when other women encroach on their men, it's a big insult and show of power for a man to sleep with another man's woman. Like an ancient King 'confiscating' another man's wife!

You can steal a man's money or all his possessions. But none will pain him as much as you sleeping with his woman and letting him know you were man enough to do so! Even if he takes the woman back, he will always question himself whether he is better at satisfying her more than her lover.

I feel you, any man that tries it with my wife may not live to regret it; am not a killer but nobody should push me, but do the women feel it the way men feel it,

is it not an insult to the women as well.
cant the same be said with a woman, you may take every thing he has but not her man, and wont she also question himself as to whether she is better in satisfying him than his lover?

without sounding overtly philosophical LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

Of a truth he or she who cheats has the greater loss, cos cheating never made anyone truly happy especially in the long run. DEFINITELY I WOULD HURT AT FIRST BUT MY LOVE,\ for her if true will win her back to the person who truly cares and to the thing that truly makes anyone  happy,:UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Oyinda free me

I will take her back because if she was sorry not because she is rich

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6375921#msg6375921 date=1278991285]like i said earlier on and many other ppl have also said, it depends on the society.
In the US for example, women don't generally forgive cheating. they dump or divorce u if you cheat and the result can be nasty!!!
in naija on the other hand, women feel powerless in such situation and the only thing on their mind is that their husband should not replace them with the mistress.

it's not abt weak nature or any of the sorts. just societal power difference.[/quote]yep i reckon in the western societies cheating by men is not condoned, yet in the US, for example, there are women who still go ahead and take the cheating man back but i don't know if the men there are disposed likewise

chiogo:
Too precious. . .LOL! That's you, although I don't quite buy that in the case of a spouse. Sibling, yeah, I suppose. Read the definition again and notice it includes the 'attitude'. In this case, I believe the poster is talking about the attitude that men give off when their wives cheat. Through everyday observation, you can tell that more women go back to living with a husband who has cheated. The case is not very common if switched around. Why? Women have been forgiving and living with cheating husbands but you rarely hear of men stand the same BS. Brings me back to the idea of the society being a sexist one. Men believe it's their world(as they have been conditioned by the society to) so they believe it's their right to be forgiven, which is a sexist mentality.

Chigo you are spot on! I am about he attitude of men when there wives cheat compared with those of the women when there husbands cheat.

Some men may cheat cos they feel foolishly superior and think women's feelings don't really matter or is even none existent as with one's pet; a good majority of us when we do so was out of sheer incompetence in managing our natural drives in the face of seduction, temptation and unpalatble dispositions of our women.

What baffles me is why women find it easier to forgive and even forget, then we the male species? is it because you have a better understanding of our weakened nature and what led us to infidelty?

Kuntama pls r u a guy like myself? if not leave it for ladies! oyinda where art thou?

it hurts women just as much. but women can't do much about it.
ex. if you punch a king in d face vs punching a servant in d face. who will it "hurt" more?
who has d bigger ego n feeling of entitlement?

Maybe it because of the belief, which somewhat is factual, one can blame on the raging hormones unlike that with the woman which stems from the will. Is like the women understand this thus the pain is numbed

Even when the infidelity is a secret known only to the couple; it seem to hurt men more

Is society's thought not composed of the individuals who make up the society? so it boils really to the individual

Guys have been cheating and so many times forgiven, we have seen many prodigal fathers accepted back; but the same seem not to be the same with the women;
the men don't seem to get over the infidelity of a wife like the wife has? why is this?

Once upon a time celibacy before marriage was the norm, right now its regarded as crazy, as pre-marital sex holds sway; 'progressive' will easily punch holes in your socio-cultural and religious points of view as they have done with same-sex relationships.

I believe for rational integrity to reign over time, there has to be developed in us a reasonableness in our moral positions else we shall be able to live and defend that which is true.

We can no longer afford to merely posit things as right or wrong simply by what we feel or what our social/cultural/religious cos in that way we loose the common ground to dialogue with those who may nor share our backgrounds.

That exactly my point, cant you articulate why we find this things strange; i am sure you heard the global buzz about the Australian Couple (father and daughter) who fell in love and pleaded with the condemning world to understand,

Our reluctance to pinpoint the real whys is really why lesbianism and homosexuality is seen today as an issue of culture, social and religious stance not rational,

Marriage is not only about virginity even as beautiful virginity is, am a virgin proponent and crusader, am living daily the virginal life freely unto my marriage; understanding of the supreme purpose of marriage is fundamental, in short. love is what you ought to celebrate not virginity, which even in its purest form is only an element of love.

what exactly is wrong with incest? crazy question in it? funny enough it was borne out of a Yoruba TV show(mini jojo) i saw this morning, where a story of a woman whose long lost son from a secondary school pregnancy had a child with her daughter, conceived in a later marriage; they met in the US and already had a child together before it was discovered and even when the couple where told they were siblings they said they would never part ways,

In the same show another true life story is told of twins from Shagamu a town in Ogun state Nigeriia, who were having intimacy and eventually had a child, they refused to part ways, they later would elope to Kaduna and have five more kids,

I am not involved incest nor a considering it; i am only encouraged to post this because of the reaction i read on a NL thread about a man who was having intimacy with her daughter; there was a lot of people with weighty stones ready to cast on the man, but none of them spelt out exactly why it was wrong,

Can you articulate why exactly incest maybe a aberration, if possible without reference to religious belief? i trust your judgment since most you are likely not in an incestuous relationship; unlike when the issue is pre-marital sex.

Replies,

Can of you gurus out there help a Google-frustrated driver searcher with a reliable link where i can get a working driver thanks

@ poster: If you hate virgins then you must be hating your 13 yrs old younger sister if you discovered she has not be laid yet or when you have a baby girl you will hate for definitely you know she is still a virgin.

How can one hate another because they are thinking straight about the use of their sexuality?

Maybe what you are trying to say is virgins who go bragging about and complaining that is hard to keep their virginity, as a virgin (who had several opportunities from the curvaceous to the voluptuous) i don't see any reason to complain about fleeting s.exual tensions that passes everyday to everybody or at the slightest provocation;its a personal choice which i find very reasonable, the truth is that true virginity which is about willed innocence, is an enjoyable experience which like every other worthy lifestyle makes others who are sexually active outside marriage want to re-trace their steps,

I am putting up a post soon to elaborate on these virginty palava

Where are the intellectual NAIRALANDERS who always have a way of rationalizing Abortion, Fornication, lust, indecency as "its my life and i can do anything wiff it";

This is a classic case where evil is obvious without any deliberation or intellectual debate, so why have you denied that wrong doing actually does exist; the
''bitter" truth is that as humans we are not free to do as we please,

Incest is still frowned at by so many as at June 10 2010, i pray in my lifetime i don't see it excused and celebrated as lesbianism, extra-marital sex are among many other are these days.

I am far from being a saint, rather am a sinner who refuses to condone wrong doing because its urge looks over-powering.

I just discovered a girl have been tripping for some time now recently reveal to me that she is bi-sexual after we saw Sex and the City 2 during the week; I like her a lot cos she is just has it hot looks, athletic figure, graduate and sincere; am quite taking aback so i ask if you were in my shoes would you go on with the relationship ,

Jose Mourinho has just joined Real as its 10th manager in 10 years but did not promised any champions league miracle in its first year,

Hi NLanders i would y'all to express a feeling which you feel is unequalled by any other or you just have a strong craving for; i'll drop mine to give you guys a start

To me

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE COMING OUT SUCCESSFUL IN SOMETHING EVERYBODY SAID WAS NOT GONNA WORK!

Oya What's yours?

it does seem like they are in a marriage panic. lol but can we blame them? relationships end and people break up all the time. just that late 20s is a very bad time for a girl to have a sour relationship and start afresh. how will she get a new guy? now all these girls are settling for less.

[quote][/quote]Oyinda that's my point of surprise they don't have to; it is not as if they are as young as they were, but being a bighearted someone i have not to take undue advantage but i know my brothas outside who wabt to plunder the piece that is left

Thanx for the medal and award  BTW I have not concluded shit abt 26 yr olds girls just tring to make sense of my personal observations; am not misorgistic cos am a mingler and respecter of the ladies.

Ebonyeyes:
So what exactly is the point of this thread? Do you want a medal or an award?

just wanted to know (especially from the gurls) if

1. Most 26 and over years old girls are usually like this

2. and Why

3. and to assure them from a guy's point of view if my observations are factual that they dont have to, they should rather relax as that is what really turns the man they are gunning for to their direction

should have if not that i just can trust 'em enough, am not a saint, but our life experinces and views seem to vary fundamentally; my heart is with someone else working in abuja!

@Pweety They have verbalised their intent clearly; but am like why now (in my mind ooo) where did you act this nice like these just three years ago,

@ebonyeyes In a way i "feel" flatterred but i refuse to dwell on these vain feelings as i respect these girls; am only surprised that these once highflyers who seemed not to no one existed are now the very ones nicely seeking ones time.