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[quote author=m_nwankwo link=topic=436863.msg6624897#msg6624897 date=1282575705]Hi 49cents. Thanks for your kind comment. Stay blessed.[/quote]Hi Nwankwo, just popped in to pose these questions which are based on your earlier posts and it is as follows,

1. How where you able to 'Deduce' that Jesus, is the Son of God?

2. Can anyone know anything partaining to the Divine or the spiritual realities for sure?
and if yes,
3. how can one know these things for sure?
4. How come several spiritual masters or enlightened persons have with varying perceptions and conflicting beliefs of spiritual issues? and they use the similar tools of prayer and meditation?
Finally is the instituition of the Church ever releveant for preservation and commuinication of spiritual revelation?
Thanks,

[quote author=m_nwankwo link=topic=436863.msg6607868#msg6607868 date=1282313309]Hi 49cents. I am fine. Thank you. Hope you are fine too.
I do not agree with the views expressed by the guy you spoke to. Jesus is the son of God, that means that an essence of God the Father became personal as Jesus. Thus Jesus is an incarnation of God.Taking into cognisance the limitation of our earthly language, one can say that Jesus is a "part" of God the Father that is personal in the work of love. One can also say that Jesus is the personification of the Love that is God and is in God. Thus Jesus is the only real Master for he is a son of God or God the son if the later will enable you to form a conception that is a bit closer to the Truth. Only God the Father is the Truth and since Jesus is a "part" of God the Father, he too is the Truth.

Now Jesus came for the salvation of all, not for any particular group of people and anyone who lives in the sense of genuine love is following the teachings of Jesus even if he or she have not heard about Jesus on this earth. Having returned to God the Father after the fulfilment of his mission, Jesus is not in creation any more but outside and above all creations. Jesus has reunited with his Father. Thus claims by religious people or mystics of having contact with Jesus is false. What they see in all circumstances is there own "Jesus". This false "Jesus" was created by the founders and followers of these movements or societies until it became very powerful that it controls them and performs so called "miracles for followers. This beautiful thread by MyJoe has addressed in part how human beings by misapplying the power of God create demons. Thus, it is for this reason that all religions or societies have created there own false Jesus and you can now understand why they have stories and encounters with this false Jesus. God is not in creation. The only way God can be in creation is through incarnation as once happened with Jesus. If Jesus, the son of God will enter creation without the necessary step-down anchorages, then the entire creation including spiritual creation will just literally vapourize and cease to exist on coming in contact with the white heat emanating from unsusbstantiate, God-essense of Jesus, the son of God. And yet, many a human being imagine that they have personal contact with Jesus. Yes, they do have contact but not with the genuine Jesus, the son of God but with a fake Jesus created and animated by them and others who think like them. Thus to answer your question, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of God is the only genuine Master and on account of the fact that he is God the son, no creature can have a direct personal contact with him. All contact are indirect through several chains of spiritual mediators. I will not go into this as it will take us into distances that will make our heads begin to swell.

It is spiritual ignorance that makes most people to think that Jesus is just a prophet like several others. Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, Zoroaster, Laotze, Krishna, Mary Magdalene, John the Baptist etc are not incarnations of God but creatures who God called to be his Prophets. God gave them revelations adapted to the spiritual maturity and culture of their people. Thus, these prophets taught recognitions or part truths since a creature even with the highest blessings can only receive part Truth. Only the one that is the Truth can teach the whole Truth. Only God is the Truth. Thus all these prophets of God were forerunners to the Truth. Their message is meant to form a flight of steps leading to the ultimate Truth that Jesus brought. These prophets of God in different cultures faithfully fulfilled there mission. As we mature, the truth of what these prophets actually taught in different era will be shown to us by the grace of God and we may see how divorced the various movements in the name of these prophets are from what they actually taught. Then one may see that Buddha, Mohammed, LaoTze etc taught the same truth only adapted to the spiritual maturity and culture of their people. A prophet of God writes or says what God reveals to him, a son of God draws from Himself for he is "part" of God the Father and one with God the Father. Thus a son of God carries the knowledge in himself and does not need any training. Once the appointed time ordained by God the Father reaches, the radiations connection are stretched taught and a son of God draws consciously from the inexhaustible fountain of divine omnipotence and omniscience. If you think deeply into this, you may appreciate why all the claims of Jesus going to India, Persia or even Tibet to learn the mystical arts is spiritual nonsense. Stay blessed.[/quote]Thanks for your response I really appreciate the efforts you usually put in replying well that simply tells me that you are very passionate and sure of what you believe yet surprisingly calm about it……

Ladyjide:
Uhmm, I understand that a relationship is give and take, but no relationship should be defined by MONEY, and in this situation they are just getting to know each other!!! This girl is acting as if he is obligated just because he decided to date her!! Hell NO----that is horrible--- and she isnt even having SEX with him- she says she wants a GOD fearing man and wants to take it slow,

@ Ladyjide
I can see you alone trully understand the points i raised, esp that we only just met the relationship is celibate by choice

Ladyjide:
Us women want to scream all of this liberation stough, and how independent we are, but then you want to turn around and ask a  man to pay for things like making hair, and basic needs- just because you guys are dating?  We then wonder why men feel like they can say and do anything they want to us!   The man isn't even your husband for crying out loud? NO way!!! Ladies depend on no one but your self- as that is all you can count on when S*iT hits the fan. A mate should be something that is desired not wanted just for financial reasons!!! When that man becomes your fiance/husband then that is a different story- but untill then  make your own hair, buy your own clothes, and get your own pocket change!   You are in a relationship to find companionship not necessarily help each other in financial reasons.  Investment? We are not talking stocks and bonds here- Her parents should have invested on her head before she left her parents house to go to school, not the job of her "boyfriend".  They havent even been dating that long!Like I asked before  what was she  doing before  having a boyfriend and how was she managing?She needs to  continue to do so, and stop trying to take advantage of that poor man!!

This is exactly my point, ladies down here must WAKE UP and get some self respect, i feel guys are not helpin them to realise they should not need them for mundane things like making their hair simply becos they are havin carnal knowledge of her

It was a sour experience cos i thot she was still not on that page goin by her age.
thanks a bunch ladyjide for your brutal objectivity esp that ladies CAN be independent if they set their minds to it

TewMuch:
That is why you are in a relationship.To help each other, financially and growth wise.With a focus on achieving great things in future as a couple.You are obviously still a child.I don't think any woman will want a man that never gives her gifts or helps her when she knows he can.I don't mean go out of your way to steal, if you can afford it and you love her, why not? This person is struggling to be productive and is not prostituting herself to get there.The best you can do is help her with what matters, the school fees or books.If you don't drop the money when she knows u can afford it, forget getting kitty. She will put u in the "just useless" friends category.So be help your GF, even if you don't end up together and she becomes something in future, you have a lot to be proud of.

What i really feel like doin is opting out of the r/ship and creditin her account now and then for stuff only as someone helpin someone else; this way maybe she can love the next guy not for money for better reasons, am that altruistic as i hav done this with a girl i knew and today she is happily married to a banker and a baby girl,

all i really wanted was to earn not by paying for it.

Ujujoan:
Why dont you stop bothering yourself about what is right, what she wants and what you should do.

I bet you are a full grown man with a mind of your own. Do what feels right and let it be. If she likes she can stick around, if she likes, she can walk.

But quit whinning, you sound lame!

what can she put in more effort in? No answer! i expected it. I don't wanna believe all Nigerian chicks r like this anyway, its time the female folks woke up to the the reality that they don't have to need a man financial cos its so second millennium

Ujujoan:
Just another broke guy crying foul! I'd suggest you put in more effort into making money so you can buy your GF those precious things she wants and let peace reign again!

thanks was waiting for this (assuming am one broke guy like you assume) what can she put in more effort in?

googles:


i just hate it wen some girls talk like dat later they will say man no respect them

wen you are always begging for peanuts how will he respect yuh ?

dress the way yuh want to be addressed. . . if you act like a peasant you will be treated as one

if i nor get money for my hair i ll use wig nah. . . some girls are just overly materialistic and dependent

i am nt a woman hater but 9ja girls keep pushing me too hard, i think it is time 9ja bro start splitting bills on a dtae like they do in wesstern societies, that way we can instantly know you whether you really dig us or u r just hungry for Chicken republik

googles:


whoever said a woman needs a man to fix her hair ??

if she does not have money to fix her hair she should crop it all off den

why wait on a man to pay for yur hair

very sad love is in coma in 9ja then!

andromida:
So u knw she needs moni to make her hair and yet you refuse to give,tomorrow you will post"my gal embarrassed me with her hairstyle" some weeks later you will be wondering why she has become distant,.years later you will say she is too arrogant and not submissive when she is the one doing everything for her self.You will begin to miss the days of our forefathers when women were seen but not heard and the men totally took care of them.Tomorrow you will say Nigerian gals are copying American gals by becoming too independent all the while not realizing you and only you pushed her to it.YOU can decide areas where you choose to give financial assisstance to her without making yourself into a sugar daddy so if you give her money to make her hair now she will only love you for your money?

You also mentioned that she asked too take things slow and you also are tinking futuristic so why comparing that to like she wants to take it slow but rush u to spend money,how much money?successful life is give and give and give as against give and take esp in a futuristic r/ship and really intimacy with you what does that prove?

oversharpness kills r/ships in alot of cases,Be the Man in charge and stop wondering if she is using your head,Afterall the worst scenario would be that you have helped someone accomplish something worthwhile in life which eventually will only make you a better person esp you have established that she is a poor person and needs your generosity.

I have no probs with gurls being even too financially independent cos times have changed gurls have equal opportuinities like guys so why depend on the guy as to the make im feel inadeute as a man, when we become man and wife all i have will be hers and all she has mine, i can help like a friend in need

Thanks folks about your replies, all i wanted was a lady that wants moi not need me, that for surely does not mean i wont shoulder responsibilities as the r/ship progresses into an advanced stage, but does it mean that nigerian gurls who think a guy they just met must bankroll their upkeep to proof commitment to a r/ship? does it mean they have nothing to offer outside s.ex (which is mutual in the frist place)

Spyker:
Guy, read in between the lines, if the demand is unneccessary, quit.
I know many women use the slogan "no money, no honey" as their foundation for love but not all women.
I suggest you stop spending on her and focus on only what you think she needs. Don't grant her every want.
If you cannot continue and you think the love is fake, quit.

Cant Nigerian girls at this time and age of gender equality and opportunity find pride in achieving financial independence honestly the way their male contemporaries are trying too; cos the fact is that with this gurl we are even agemates but still she cant help to think i must do the spending, while she does , i dont even know?

5p1naz:
"women's world of dependence" this is a part of em where some of them depend on their "partners"

aight

5p1naz:
haha welcome to the women's world. . . haha

hey you are funny bro, women's world of what exactly?

met her in my office, she told me of how she is working to sponsor herself through school i felt i should give her a  try cos i like hard working girls who dare to dream and realize it without resorting to illicit means; i ask her out and she thinks i came 4 intimacy (for she says she wants a God-fearing man) but i made it clear that's not my goal and i meant it from the depths of my heart cos am thinkin long term even life time with her  then i seek her response she says wants to observe me too and that we shud take it slow,

I concur, then she began mentioning  her unpaid school/hostel fees as if by the way in our conversations, she points at the black skirt suit, shoes and bags in every boutique we pass by in our very first stroll when i went visiting (i can easily afford it,  but bought her provisions cos she look looked too lean and she told me she was feeling dizzy), i  feign deaf,  until she asks for money for making her hair,  now i reason aloud to myself "you said we should not rush love yet you are rushing my spending on you!" I gave an excuse of distance and my sweetheart went sour each time i call her on the phone until i get pissed and asked her whats up,

I know she aint having much cash (she just gave her first salary in a new job she just got as first offering, i find it quite amusing and chide for it she says it her a Divine investment i let it rest) with all she is saying now the proof of a guys love, among other things like commitment, must be in his taking care of her needs, assume i grant this what now is the proof of her love towards me since s.ex is neither involved nor the goal in our nascent relationship? I dont want her to love me becos i foot her bills or is my model of what love should built on to idealistic and unrealistic?

your thots guys!

[quote author=m_nwankwo link=topic=436863.msg6545578#msg6545578 date=1281429081]Hi 49cents. I never used the word "charity"in this thread. What I simply admonished is for human beings to live according to the  eternal truth which Jesus embodied in his words "Love God with all your heart and love your neighbour as yourself". Any person or creature capable of doing this has already found his way to the kingdom of God. Genuine Love that I am referring to and of which the son of God spoke about is unconditional and thus a love shown with expectation of a reward whether spiritual or earthly is not genuine love. Thus you do not love because you want to go to heaven or because you do not want to go to hell but you love because your spirit is a reflection of the love of God. Thus you are are hardwired to love by God. The reciprocal action that comes to you as a result of one living in the sense of the laws of God is a manifestation of the will of God and not a fulfillment of ones expectations. To  love simply means an unconditional submission to the will of God. Genuine love is tantamount to uncondtional obedience to the will of God.

It is the will of God that all the laws governing the creations of God should be recognised by the human spirit. It is for this reason that each human spirit has to journey through the various creations of God so that by experiencing in the various creations of God, the laws of God in each plane will become an integral part of the human spirit. Thus, the idea of a mystery within creation is not correct. The laws of God that govern the creations of God, from the spiritual  kingdom of GOD down to the gross materail planes like our physical earth should lie lucidly clear to any human spirit that is alive. Thus even while on earth and in full awareness, one can be granted the grace to survey and experience different planes of creation. This grace given to one by God does not require any training or reading books or spiritual exerises, NDE or OBE . All that one need do is to love God and all creatures of God unconditionally, then the bandage that blocks his outer and inner faculties will fall away. Then the human spirit will  have the grace of counscious drawing from the the power of God and this drawing gives it  access to counscious experiencing in the various creations of God even while on earth. Under such a guidance and protection from God, he or she can survey the enormous dangers that befall those who who of their own accord opened their spirits to worlds and currents which the spirit has not the maturity nor the purity to decern. It is for this reason alone that several internal inconsistency as well as self glorification are the hall mark of essays or testimonies given by spiritualists, occultists, mystics, spirtists or even those that have OBE or NDE experiences. A premature opening of the spirit to other worlds will only expose such a spirit to the world of sham where everthing is possible and impossible at the same time. Every genuine seeker for his own good is advised to stay aware from all endeavour that prematurely opens the soul to the sham worlds of the beyound.  Stay blessed.[/quote]Hey Nwankwo Hw r you doing?; i just wanted to clarify that true love(charity, still means the same thing is just a matter of smeantics) of God is a reaction to God's own intervention of grace and i concur with you on your explanation of what true love consists in it is rare to find someone who has arrived at this conclusion (i have heard these exact words from some christain mystics and find it very reasonable), same goes for the OBE, NDE, astrologers and the like are quite dangerous but the unwary curios soul will fall into its weary maze until they are completely dazed cos they find no true fulfillment on their sojourn they embarked on.

I had a chat with a guy who spoke volumes about Jesus as an Avatar (messiah) who is sent by God to save those whom those are his; He says Jesus is His master but not the Master of all; that every soul has to search and 'cry' to God to find his own Master, which could be Buddha, Mohammed or other Messiahs whom have appeared in human history, whats your view on this. Stay blessed

Nayah:
micheline sister, I'm not talking about the way oyu look because I've said it in Fantababy's topic, some black women tend to neglect themselves when they give birth, a woman has to take care of her but we don't look the same! people are different , women are different we can not all look like model, imperfection makes us unique!. What I'm saying is we have to live our lives without caring about what people think. Of course for some people having children at some age is good but maybe this is not the priority for all, and seriously my dear 27, 28 30 this is young nowadays, our parents having children very soon because family's structure wa different, now women go more an more and longer to scholl and want to build a good professional career this takes time too, And the most important is to choose the correct person with values, not rushing because you increase the probability to get wrong.

Yep i agree with you on the the dynamics of today's structure regarding women particularly who have claimed their rights to education and the pursuit of a professional career, yet i would want to think is all about the reality of things as they stand e.g. the biological clock does not stop still because of your aspirations, a keen balance and priority is the name of the game,
I agree totally with you on values i will certainly stake my life for it. my 49cents

@mad max
I’d rather enjoy the ride of nice car then discussing it; really if you believe in some article of faith then the ultimate is the works that go with it, no matter what it is; charity like Nwankwo has been pointing out is key, although I differ with him on charity being an action (because you want to get some spiritual good) but a reaction (because you have gotten some spiritual good)

On the church
Do you think Christ will leave those who will not see him directly like the apostles or early Christians into error (Thomas how happy are those who did not see and yet believe),

Jesus said I will not allow the gates of hell prevail against his church…this again is only logical, necesary and possible since he is God and can do all things.

As a child it is not everything that you were told by your parents to do made sense…even logical sense at the time…you obeyed simply because you trusted the authority figure(s) because of their love, the sincerity and their disinterested intentions,

Christ says He would not leave us orphans…and again I will be with you to the ends of the earth…what does this mean? If not that he will perpetuate his human presence, which is not subject to error (through which he deemed best to reach us, a manifestation of his boundless love for humanity) in a human form which necessarily must not be subject to error so that his redeeming works of love will not be lost one bit. Remember Jesus spoke of “His Church”….upon this rock will I find my Church…,

I don’t have a thing about theological discourse such as these; but sound principles must guide them just as any hypothesis must be based on established theories or else it will a wasteful chatter where no progress is gained, my 49cents!

[quote author=Mad_Max link=topic=436863.msg6500109#msg6500109 date=1280799347]Hey there 49. I don't think I mentioned 'the Virgin Mary' once as a religious persona. Mary is a human being like anybody else. I'm aware she's practically worshipped in Catholism; interesting you should believe a dead Catholic, who's a Christian, should see 'the Virgin Mary' instead of Christ. But each to his own.  I take it you don't like people venturing  explanations for things beyond the physical. Ir's beyond our finite mind. It apparently wasn't beyond the finite minds of the millions of people vouchsafed these experiences though. We have brains and spirits, and I don't think we would have been issued both if they were useless to our understanding. We cannot comprehend it all, but we can comprehend a little and knock heads together and see what emerges. You're right that God is infinitely complex and beyond us, as we are. But I'm not sure I agree with an attitude that wants people to fold their hands and not seek to understand how the spiritual works because 'God is infinite'. It's not a stance that works for everybody, but you're certainly welcome to it. We shouldn't all believe or think alike. But I retreated to a thread of people who share a high similarity in thought for a reason.  [/quote]Worship or adoration or respect is simply a thing of the mind, you have to be God himself, who loone can access and asses the human mind (not just surmise or assume) to know who is worshipping what; really i wonder what makes you conclude catholics worship mary as they worship God. I love Jesus Christ even though i fail him very often but it does not deter me (this is purely the work of GRACE i must admit) this does not stop me from according a special honour proper to the vesel that he chose to come through. If you believe Jesus is the incarnate of the Ever living God, who is all Holy then you would know that he must have decked the soul of Mary with the graces and purity fitting for hIS DWEELLING, ITS PURE LOGIC, BUT THIS THREAD IS NOT ABOUT THE mOTHER Of Christ SO I REST MY CASE AS FAR AS mary is concerned

I simply amazed by the posts of this thread, every poster has been very insightful, yet i feel quite sure that the end of this manner of thought is the disbelief stemming from confusion.

The poster "explained" how Catholics will see the Blessed Vigin Mary, including the others with their various religiuos orientations, this is plain presumptions which we believe because it makes the most sense to our quest to find a comfort zone of belief.

The spiritual, unlike the physical that can be mastered by scientific observation (even not thoroughly)  is impossible to safely comprehended, how on earth did we think we can reconcile everything in the finite mind we were given by the infinite God. This is the basic premise for any search for truth,

There are many things that are illogical eg the human nature a composite of the physical and immaterial soul, we accept not because we know how they are possible but it is an event before us, let us build our knowledge from the little facts around us before delving into things that we cant sincerely say we have seen all at once.

The controversial spending of N6.1billion on SIM card registration by the federal government yesterday stirred a near-violent sitting of the House of Representatives, where members verbally attacked each other, and nearly engaged in physical assault.

The long-drawn plan, which the lawmakers have refused to approve on grounds that registrations should be done by phone companies, sparked off a row during the final consideration of the Nigeria Communications Commission’s budget, after renewed attempts by the House leadership to secure approval for the exercise.

Many members had during past meetings, opposed the use of N6.1billion for the registration of the phone cards by the NCC, arguing that the responsibility is that of the phone companies-operators, and not the commission as the regulator.

The House communication committee chairman, Dave Salako, was accused by his colleagues of fronting for the phone companies, and leading effort to secure the approval of the House for the project.

Members overwhelmingly brought down the huge allocation last week during the commission’s budget consideration, although the Speaker, Dimeji Bankole, promised it may be revisited.

The controversy widened on Tuesday after lawmakers noticed a huge N12billion “error” in the budget of the commission, pushed for by Mr. Salako.

Early Wednesday, some members, discussing unofficially with journalists, vowed to press further and ensure that the N6.1billion was dropped. “That is a clear fraud,” a member said.

The presiding deputy speaker, Usman Nafada, who said on Tuesday that he was briefed about the project, delayed the consideration of the report till Wednesday afternoon, although the item was listed first, in what was viewed as an attempt to have some members leave the chambers before the matter will be hastily approved.

Mr. Nafada looked shocked at how members challenged Ita Enang, the House business and rules committee chairman, and other supporters of the project who attempted to cajole the House into rescinding the earlier decision.

Mr. Enang was angrily shouted down by the protesting members, who broke into riotous groups similar to those formed during the recent brawl in the House over allegation of corruption against the Speaker, Mr. Bankole.

Mr. Nafada put the N6.1billion to repeated voice votes in which members overwhelmingly rejected with a deafening “nay”.

At the final vote, after more than 30 minutes disruption of proceedings, the budget was finally defeated and a helpless Mr. Nafada announced once more, that the matter is still open to considerations, even though house rule opposes such repetitions.
http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5599970-146/n6.1bn_sim_registration_sparks_another_reps.csp

pro01:
@poster

From my experience, and from meticulous observation & research, I've learnt that focusing all your love and passion on one girl is the recipe for heartbreak and disaster. The girl would sooner realize that you're her mugu and she'll squash and mash you up in every way.

Therefore, the more women you play with (as much as your resources can afford) the better. The more you disperse your 'love' and attention among many maidens, the more value you would have in each one's eyes, and the more unlikely it is for you to act like a wussie. Girls tend to grow wings, mess you up and break your heart when they realize that they are the only fish in your ocean.

Let the feminists curse and rant if they want to; polygyny (marital, pre-marital & extra-marital) remains natural and lawful in these parts.

Insightful post,  most women get spoilt by attention: the more caring you are the more likely loose the apple of your eye, so i ask, is it wrong to show her attention? now i dont think our complementary species are the issue, over-attention suggests weakness and neediness, which they abhor in their men, another solution is to spread the love with your hobbies and other class of people you know afterall variety is the spice of llife! abi?

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6398623#msg6398623 date=1279313418]wow nice. I like the part in bold. that's a very strong character (esp. if it's a standpoint that is against societal norms. ie open marriage).
the opposite of that is weakness. ie lying and cheating to save urself or, even worse, to get some temporary self-gratification.
but then again we won't be human if we all didn't have weaknesses. but it's easier not to fall if you think about how u'll hurt someone else by your actions.

are u a philosopher or something [/quote]:surely we are weakened from conception yet are pulled to perfection at the same time, sure it is easier not to fall when we think of the person we may hurt- this is a motive for fidelity another would be the love for one's destiny as a living being

philosopher? now my head's gonna burst just someone asking questions to get by this life that i find in myself

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6398489#msg6398489 date=1279311740]same reason some people reject the idea of God, smoke cocaine etc
all has to do with your belief which is determined mostly by how you were raised and your environment.

these people are in the minority though. since most ppl are raised to conform.[/quote]meaning the reason reaches the fundamental basis of our lives, it always calls for brutal sincerity even if one stands to "loose" one's life; its amazing how many demand fidelity, men and women, but cant give it, fidelity is the way to fulfillment of the abyss of our human hearts. thanks oyinda. i love your spirit

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6398427#msg6398427 date=1279311008]if you don't buy the concept of sanctity of marriage, why would you object to your partner doing it?
if i believe that coning people is ethical, why should i be mad if someone else cons me?
unless u believe you are d exception to the rule of d universe or something (ie above all ). sounds like something from crime and punishment.

you say "unfair advantage" key word is "unfair" so therefore, you KNOW it's wrong. and it's unethical.[/quote]very logical post
but why do people reject the idea of the sanctity of marriage?

@ pro 1
I get your points and your experiences are commonplace with a good number of guys out there; I would not encourage you to continue in the is state of distrusrt for women; the truth is that we live in an imperfect world where you cant get it all; most times it is our acceptance of the person, our unconditional love that will heal the errant partner, bottom line we must be prepared to love despite the imperfection that we see in others.

As for the sleeping-with of ladies who supposedly are in serious relationships, don't you think you are part of the problem? when last have told some girl like that to be faithful to their commitments, we really have ti be the change we wish to see around us,  because your "born again" ex cheated on you despite your faithfulness to what you had does not that you should increase the problem of infidelity in our society, people just need that one person to live the life they have lost or struggling to live

eldee:
Cheating gives you undeserved edge in a relationship, that's why it's called 'cheating'.
It's not a weakness. . .

It's only a weakness when you don't make the choice to do it.

Very insightful and true! People who habitually cheat are those who sadly do not see a life in being faithful, they are likely blind who do not see the myriad beauty of the created world or the deaf who can't savour the sweet rich of well crafted music. Cheats are to be pitied for they are truly interiorly deformed ,

fidelity is a life-building virtue, not just a rule to live by,


@ latter posts
sad this thread has degenerated to a religious arguments, all the same i have learnt a lot

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6387766#msg6387766 date=1279152740]nah. a thief is not remorseful. he keeps stealing until he gets caught.
same with cheating.
it's all a sign of weakness of d flesh. means your not self disciplined enough.


and i love that theblessed brings a religious perspective to it.[/quote]haven't you ever done anything, that in the privacy of your space that you are sorry about and regret, even if it is some thing any one knows about? the fellow who feels sorry because his/she was caught is not truly sorry though the emotions and actions expresses remorse; this is because their remorse stem from everything but the processes (considerations and experiences) that bring about the change in heart,

Its really sad that we humans with all our will and reasoning, trade our dignity as rational being for a mess of sour bowl of porridge , for that's what infidelity is, a fowl mess of porridge , a sadder realty is that we don't even recognize our place in creation as its crown

***sighs****

^^^
^^^

Da Mayor:
@ poster, u might as well ask why d lionesses do the hunting & after making the kill leaves it when the lion appears from his slumber, or why d alfa chimp & hippos colonises all the women in the camp. you cant change the laws of nature. look round the whole animal kingdom and you will see males have special preferences (ie at the top of the chain of command with woman as helper(bluntly put "servant" lol!).
pls dnt get me wrong. I believe in fair treatment of all homo sapiens, but let me categorically state that according to the law of Nature, life isn't  fair and its just unfortunate you came to this world as a helper so bear with it & nxt time u can ask Baba to send u bk as a man to njoy d special privileges (which for some includes the exclusive right to cheat as stated above).

hmmm,  love your resorting to the animal kingdom but we are Humans our rationality separates us from them infinitely,  we have will and reasoning, they have got only Instincts

@ oyinda
to me, cheating is weak not powerful. it just means you have no sense of self discipline
and only a weak man will not be able to handle it when his wife cheats.

Were it just a case of weakness then the issue would be quite understandable for there would be remorse after every act on the part of the guy, majoirty of the issue with men out there centres on the rush men feel in chasing and possesing them the women.

Philanderer guys are just addicted to the hunting which is a mis-direction as every man's love life ought to be a continuous cycle of chasing and possessing one woman but they repeat the hunting with endless number of women.

I believe a good way checking in infidelity in marriages is basically in the ability of couples to be creative in the act of falling in love again, and it starts with the women who must keep their games ahead of the other woman in every department, this way he gives the man the impetus to chase her again, the sad thing the wives take everything for granted.

[quote author=oyinda. link=topic=478066.msg6385421#msg6385421 date=1279124473]not all men. just naija men. because they grew up in a culture that promotes it.
i would never marry one unless he grew up in US among white ppl.[/quote]I said by default meaning even in the best of sane societies he still possesses an innate urge want to philander about cos it gives a very desired feeling of conquest and power, which is what men seek in sex(which is proper to their sexuality) Do women feel powerful by getting laid by every Tom,Ddick and harry?