2buffagain:
That is even on the side.
In stupid countries like the US, you can be stuck paying child support for a child that is not yours even after you and the mother split up.
And you don't even have married the mother or legally adopted that child.
Just by enough "fatherly association" with her child, the evil mother can have the government start collecting your money for her.
Look up "paternity by estopel".

I simplify my life by not involving myself with other men's children, unless you are willing to make these sacrifices.

Lol. What women has done to men for having a restless third leg. We cannot talk am finnish.
That " simplify" shah its like you go like mathematics.

ubunja:
stop rewarding women who have failed. You're discouraging those women who are making an effort to stay on the straight narrow path.

If you reward hoes everyone will be a hoe.

This one dey but what of cases where she has changed and now have sense just like say a single dad?

Wealthy single mothers like genevieve nnaji and linda ikeji choose not to marry because of their wealth

They have countless broke and average suitors yet they are not interested in marriage. They will rather Bleep around with sugar boys than to be with a relationship with one man. Lol

Single mothers are more self centred than single ladies

Gentlewarrior1:
Wealthy single mothers like genevieve nnaji and linda ikeji choose not to marry because of their wealth

They have countless broke and average suitors yet they are not interested in marriage. They will rather Bleep around with sugar boys than to be with a relationship with one man. Lol

Single mothers are more self centred than single ladies

This guy gets it.
People should stop saintifying single mothers. Na condition make crayfish bend.
In the words of Jesus, "No one is good..."

princfred:
Lol. What women has done to men for having a restless third leg. We cannot talk am finnish.
That " simplify" shah its like you go like mathematics.

All of life is an equation my broda.
Whoever tries to convince you otherwise is just trying to manipulate you.
They will always revert back to equation mode when it is their turn to gain something from the equation.

2buffagain:


All of life is an equation my broda.
Whoever tries to convince you otherwise is just trying to manipulate you.
They will always revert back to equation mode when it is their turn to gain something from the equation.

No be lie at the bolded.
Phony how men are regarded as unemotional brutes yet they are the ones who go into relationship more with their heart ( abi is it prick ?) than their head while naija women , regarded as soft , do more of the opposite.

princfred:
No be lie at the bolded.
Phony how men are regarded as unemotional brutes yet they are the ones who go into relationship more with their heart ( abi is it prick ?) than their head while naija women , regarded as soft , do more of the opposite.

Yea

naija women in general are very very calculating in this dept

scheme to get the most
while wanting to give next to nothing in return


It's the way they were conditioned
which is quite unfortunate

Ugosample:



Yea

naija women in general are very very calculating in this dept

scheme to get the most
while wanting to give next to nothing in return


It's the way they were conditioned
which is quite unfortunate

Yeah a good number think being a smart woman is all about identifying rich dudes, shaking bum bum and manipulatinghim / competing with other bitches to be the one choppong his money more and jumping unto the next bigger money bag instead of identifing calm reasonable guys and creating something sustainable with them. Las las when this orientation backfires, creating baby mama's, they wail and call all men brutes.
Its in the upbringing and maybe poverty in the society.

Gentlewarrior1:
Wealthy single mothers like genevieve nnaji and linda ikeji choose not to marry because of their wealth

They have countless broke and average suitors yet they are not interested in marriage. They will rather Bleep around with sugar boys than to be with a relationship with one man. Lol

Single mothers are more self centred than single ladies

.. Exactly. And the guys jumping into marriages with these single mothers still think they are wise. As for me,any guy that decides to marry a single mother is unwise or maybe frustrated.There's nothing like love from them,they are only there for poverty alluviation, pretending to be in love with the said "REAL MAN"i have to use this because once you fall for their manipulations, you automatically become one.Young men should start reasoning with their heads and not hearts.

Votukpa:


Let me get this straight.

You walked out of your marriage because you found out your husband was a manwhore? You decided to deny your child its right to a family to be brought up in because you couldn't manage your husband?

Let me ask you these..

You made the conscious decision to marry him, did you not?
Did u not at least perceive he had manwhore tendencies before you decided to become an item with him?
I'm very sure you did. Show me a woman (or man) who is unhappily married or divorced and i'll show you someone who ignored many blatant warning signs/red flags and ignored all of them.


Please follow my logic (if you will):

It goes without saying that women who walk out of their marriage on account of infidelity or got knocked up by a man whom she isn't married to are prime examples of women who are very poor decision makers and are therefore unfit to be responsible wives; or were desperate for marriage (which makes them poor decision makers yet still).

So, why should any intelligent and rational male submit himself to picking up the pieces of a woman's broken relationship that she stupidly entered into and consciously broke? Why would any man want to be with a woman who brought forth a child in a marriage but couldn't remain in it inspite of the challenges; or a woman who easily spreads her legs open for premarital raw sex without thinking through the consequences and implications?

If a woman decides to walk out of a marriage with a child or had a child out of wedlock (worse) and any man agrees to date or marry her afterwards-she will never respect that man.

Ever.

She will forever resent him for his stupidity. She may pretend to love him (she has to since he will be footing bills and giving her social proof as well as being a step dad), but on the inside, she will loathe him for tolerating to be with her-thinking, "so, this is (me) the best you can do". Every woman (including single moms) wants a man to be better than her her in every sense. Any man agreeing to be with a divorced woman communicates to her that he isn't better than her, but only willing to be a tool.

Why do you think God hates divorce?

divorce destroys marriages and homes and children.

God hates that.

Bottom line.

No single man should cut a covenant of any sort with a single mother who walked out of her own marriage or wasn't intelligent enough to judge whether her sex partner would wife her up-- for his own sanity and safety.

Marrying such women is like going into a business deal with someone whom he knows dealt business with another person, and the deal was resoundingly unsuccessful for very bad reasons. Better safe than sorry.

For all divorced single mothers out there, marry your Bible and dedicate your lives to repentance and building your child. If God sees that you're ready and mature at heart, he knows how to bring a good man to you, who will show you love.

I feel your comment o! wow! very brilliant

Hmmm.... Well.... In my own perspective, I see what everyone has contributed so far as points raised based on the practical life experience or learning from other people's ordeals.
But let's not forget that as some of us will be narrating their bad experiences, some people (even if they might be view in counting) are somewhere else too having successful union with their so-called single mother.
In conclusion, I think the area we might need to drive our attention to while dabbling into any affairs that has to be with single mother is to talk more by getting to know where each other is coming from. You never can tell the single mother that comes your way might have been heart-broken on several relationship trial she has made with men. So expect to meet desperation because she is ready to get back whatever she has loss from you who who happened to be her next encounter. We just need to be wise and know when to back out when it is necessary to do so.

hopefulLandlord:


what If 1-0 ended the first leg?

Quiet understandable but do u continue the second leg with different club??

princfred:
No be lie at the bolded.
Phony how men are regarded as unemotional brutes yet they are the ones who go into relationship more with their heart ( abi is it prick ?) than their head while naija women , regarded as soft , do more of the opposite.

Reason why alot of guys are crying out recently about ladies dropping there ass

Ugosample:


this thread has men demonizing other men for being with single moms

what you gotta say about that?

This thread -initial post- shouldn't have started.
You will not have any reaction on a non-existent thread. Why should men who choose not to be with single moms be termed as "scared"?
Women will have and write out a litanny of choices in terms of their future spouse. When men attempt that- in this era of equality- they will be demonised and derided.
We are largely an unserious generation.

princfred:
Yeah a good number think being a smart woman is all about identifying rich dudes, shaking bum bum and manipulatinghim / competing with other bitches to be the one choppong his money more and jumping unto the next bigger money bag instead of identifing calm reasonable guys and creating something sustainable with them. Las las when this orientation backfires, creating baby mama's, they wail and call all men brutes.
Its in the upbringing and maybe poverty in the society.

Na the babes when get this type of orientation dey fall for ritualists trap pass. How wish una know the amount of these gold digger women when them done use their destiny.

Today if I see babe dey look for rich man for this naija, I go just dey laugh. You dey look for rich man for world's poverty capital. Na use them go use all of them last last. Na the men when dey Bleep them I pity sef

The Nigerian society doesn't support a successful eligible bachelor marrying a single mother whole heartedly.

When I was a bachelor, there was one nice lady that loved me and I was about returning her affections, then she told me she had a son already.


About a month later, at a re-union of our old friends, one of them asked me what I was doing about getting married and I was giving him my options of ladies with their merits and demerits.
Immediately, I got to that of the single mum, he just said I should forget her immediately.

If you are a graduate from an educated family and you bring a single mom home, your mother and sisters will be the first to kick against it and your friends will make gest of you like kilode.

You and your single mom fiancee will be a butt of jokes.

larryking540:


Oga, or Madam which ever u are, y don't u take home a single mother and introduce her to ur parents and give us their reaction, , mr/mrs experience,

if u are already experience y ask d question on Nairaland, or u seek validation,

I wouldn't b surprise to see all d single mother's on this thread commenting in support of u,

eni4real:
I am sure she was a sweetheart during dating phase

definitely

Myde4naija:
definitely

Na their way

princfred:
No be lie at the bolded.
Phony how men are regarded as unemotional brutes yet they are the ones who go into relationship more with their heart ( abi is it prick ?) than their head while naija women , regarded as soft , do more of the opposite.

Yes its true, and it is what I have realized so far. Society consider women the weaker sex, but undermine their ability in decision making and going for the very best. They use their head not their heart,

Meanwhile, men, who are considered the rational and tough one, fall in love with heart not head, and are in more cases than not, led to the slaughterhouse by small girls

Wetin konji don use local man eye see eh? Chai.

madridsta007:



This thread -initial post- shouldn't have started.
You will not have any reaction on a non-existent thread. Why should men who choose not to be with single moms be termed as "scared"?
Women will have and write out a litanny of choices in terms of their future spouse. When men attempt that- in this era of equality- they will be demonised and derided.
We are largely an unserious generation.

i agree with you...


one should not be demonized for their choices

Men who choose to stay away from single moms no commit sin
they are being calculative

Men who are willing to take that risk should not be demonized either

Besides
I think it's hypocritical tho
that women can have a long list of requirements in this naija
and when men.list their own requirements
it becomes a problem

our society is delightfully twisted

pansophist:


Yes its true, and it is what I have realized so far. Society consider women the weaker sex, but undermine their ability in decision making and going for the very best. The use their head not their heart,

Meanwhile, men, who are considered the rational and tough one, fall in love with heart not head, and are in more cases than not, led to the slaughterhouse by small girls

Wetin konji don use local man eye see eh? Chai.

lol

third leg matter no be small thing nwanne

Single mothers are very good but not all of them because some of them are single mothers due to their characters that chased them out of their man's house.
Some are single mom because the man responsible for the pregnancy broke up with her when the pregnancy came up.
Some are single mom Because she's a victim of rape.
Some are single mom because the family of the guy said their son can't Marry her.
Some are single mom because she refused to abort the pregnancy.
Most single mom are very good when it comes to good wife and good mother to your children because they have gotten the experience on how to manage a home and also manage Marriage conflict.
Marry single mom if she is okay for you to marry.
allsinglesandmarried..com

.

pansophist:


Yes its true, and it is what I have realized so far. Society consider women the weaker sex, but undermine their ability in decision making and going for the very best. The use their head not their heart,

Meanwhile, men, who are considered the rational and tough one, fall in love with heart not head, and are in more cases than not, led to the slaughterhouse by small girls .

Wetin konji don use local man eye see eh? Chai.

U and princfred actually have it a bit wrong. Women go in more with their heart than men. What happens is that it is easier for women to convince themselves they love a man regardless of his looks. So in her heart she truly loves the rich but ugly guy which is why she is marrying him - love, not his money. Men on the other hand find it very difficult to convince themselves they love a woman to whom they are not physically attracted.

PoliteActivist:


U and princfred actually have it a bit wrong. Women go in more with their heart than men. What happens is that it is easier for women to convince themselves they love a man regardless of his looks. So in her heart she truly loves the rich but ugly guy which is why she is marrying him - love, not his money. Men on the other hand find it very difficult to convince themselves they love a woman to whom they are not physically attracted.

No you are not getting it straight. Love yes but love of his richness not necessarily him. Once the money is no longer there suddenly she realizes that he is ugly. Lol Infact when average naija woman hears love, what their brain understands and interprets by default is self love and love for a rich man.

For the man though he can be attracted to a not very beautiful woman otherwise many ugly women wont be married hence thats love.

pansophist:


Yes its true, and it is what I have realized so far. Society consider women the weaker sex, but undermine their ability in decision making and going for the very best. The use their head not their heart,

Meanwhile, men, who are considered the rational and tough one, fall in love with heart not head, and are in more cases than not, led to the slaughterhouse by small girls

Wetin konji don use local man eye see eh? Chai.

Women are making bank activating the latent konji in men. Na our portion shah if only they can kwontinu without rubbing it in with feminism.

condemn:


Na the babes when get this type of orientation dey fall for ritualists trap pass. How wish una know the amount of these gold digger women when them done use their destiny.

Today if I see babe dey look for rich man for this naija, I go just dey laugh. You dey look for rich man for world's poverty capital . Na use them go use all of them last last. Na the men when dey Bleep them I pity sef

Its delusion or inspiration.
If not for money ritual then the few rich chatter them in a haram to pass time and dump after their beautiful years are gone.

Afterall their pastors, parents and society filled their brain, especially when they are beautiful or educated with "your husband is coming with a jeep benz and 10 cows" for soo long till they see anyone telling them on the contrary to "go workout their salvation with a man" as enemy of progress. Las las many of them eye dey clear shah just that many become old before then. Our own na to preach the good abi candid news anyway who get ear go hear.

Ugosample:


i agree with you...


one should not be demonized for their choices

Men who choose to stay away from single moms no commit sin
they are being calculative

Men who are willing to take that risk should not be demonized either

Besides
I think it's hypocritical tho
that women can have a long list of requirements in this naija
and when men.list their own requirements
it becomes a problem

our society is delightfully twisted

This:

"Besides
I think it's hypocritical tho
that women can have a long list of requirements in this naija
and when men.list their own requirements
it becomes a problem" True.

I recall seeing a trend on Twitter where women wrote their male/husband requirements and everyone laughed and hailed them along.

A guy mistakenly wrote his, "must know how to cook"... Women got on him and verbally whipped him for expressing his choice. Black, white, Asian, etc, women. It was brutal. As usual, Nigerian women led the pack of wolves.

Hence my argument that this post demonises men who choose not to go with single mothers as "scared". It essentially means to show bravery and manliness, men should choose single mothers. It is important we call this out or there should be an agreement that women are the ones to have choices and men shouldn't.

Two of the sweetest girls I met were sort of damaged.

One was forced into a marriage with a man who already had a wife, she is now divorced, no kids though.

The second is a single mother, never married.

Don't apply general labels without making for exceptions, they exist!

princfred:


No you are not getting it straight. Love yes but love of his richness not necessarily him. Once the money is no longer there suddenly she realizes that he is ugly. Lol Infact when average naija woman hears love, what their brain understands and interprets by default is self love and love for a rich man.

For the man though he can be attracted to a not very beautiful woman otherwise many ugly women wont be married hence thats love.

But like u said, the man has to be physically attracted to the woman, beautiful or not. Women, on the other hand, find it much easier to convince themselves they love a man they are not at all physically attracted to. They also find it much easier to realise they no longer love him once the money is gone. But that doesn't mean they didn't love him initially.