HBB1:


I don't care if she had one or not-- it was her choice, nobody forced her.

All I said was, will OP be saying OSU rubbish if the girl were Dangote's daughter?

...and contrary to your obnoxious stereotype, every mother fawking rich kid in the north does not have an arranged marriage!

The rich usually marry the rich because of the circles they roll in.

Anti-Osu free me.

Unku Agba you don't have to agree with me.

It's my opinion and I have a right to advise op just like everyone here on nairaland.

You quoted me first so please fawk off from my mentions.

UIA04:


Unku Agba you don't have to agree with me.

It's my opinion and I have a right to advise op just like everyone here on nairaland.

You quoted me first so please fawk off from my mentions.

Christopherrrr:


The only known repercussion is the idea you're alone and can't be involved in any family dealings or association. They can't call you their own and remember no one is an island. Damning the consequences is a very brutal one as the case may be. They're quite magnitudinous. It's quite fair if it was a mistake than being fully aware and venturing into it. It's indeed a dicey one!!

Which local govt is that pls

All those saying there's spiritual repercussions involved when you marry an Osu. Can someone explain the repercussions?

Malawian:

Is there even Osu caste in All of Anambra State? I don't think Osu would have deterred an Anambra person. We just dont believe in it.

I think it is in Anambra because as a kid, my cousin used to warn us not to ever fight with outcasts. He said if we ever injure them during a fight and they shed blood, we would also become outcast.
Right now, I don't think too many people give a damn about osu system and I belong to those that don't.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Hush dear. It's deeper than you know.

Shush too.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

Show me

Hmmmmmmmmmm. This kind of dilema you found yourself, I don't even wish it for my enemy.
You are also a good writer. Your write up is cool.

For me I don't know what to advise u ooo.
Osu caste issue is a serious matter in igbo land

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

bros i don't know which kind advice you need again o cos base on what have been reading here, you've already made up ur mind
just follow ur mind, just stop ranting upandan

ujluv:
Hmm, I'm from Anambra Nanka precisely we have abolished that tradition for long nobody is an outcast and you dare not call someone by that name. Although, my family is none. But I will advice you to let your girl know on time, you can't fight it. I know it will hurt but she have to know on time. God will give you another women like you or even better.

Abriba(not sure of the spelling), Nanka precisely. I guess I know you. Uju, ACC... Right?

Lol at least they are well-suited...cos they are both deceiving each other

So you mean to tell me that after all your declarations of love..she glady allowed you escort her fine osu ass into your parlour to be laughing and cracking jokes with your mumsy

So before the introduction she couldnt have let you in on this little secret to save you the shock

Equally, you brought your case here... the whole 36 states +FCT have told you to go ahead and marry her if you like...you who loves her so much are providing rebuttals and counter-arguments on why you cannot do it

Well, they dont practice this rubbish in my side so I dont even know what to advise you

HBB1:


My mom was already plotting how to dabaru my eldest sister's relationship.

She 'dabarud' the first one, unto say the guy-- a Christian, had a Muslim dad. It was so painful.

When she started concocting her plans for the new one, naso the 2 of them go Court, go marry.
They didn't tell any of us.

We got to know after they had their first baby, a year after.

My mum almost had a heart attack!

It's been 14 years and those niggas are doing okay. Though I know my sister loved the first boyfriend more (and vice versa). But what-to-do?

The people that married based on others' people's opinions, are they happier today?

I can say for sure that my mom endured her marriage and didn't enjoy it.

Let me see the person that will tell me who to marry or not to.

Ogun kee you!

Lol similar thing almost happened in my family.
Tribe palaver.
Popsi been drumming it in our heads that none of his kids would marry from itsekiri tribe.

I sat my mom down when my elder brother and his itsekiri babe were about taking things to the next level. Told her straight up what if this is the lady that God has destined to bring happiness to your son?
If u force him to break up and he ends up with someone else & becomes miserable, do you think he'll forgive you?

Today they're happilly married.
Pops don calm down
The world hasn't stopped spinning

efeski:



Lol similar thing almost happened in my family.
Tribe palaver.
Popsi been drumming it in our heads that none of his kids would marry from itsekiri tribe.

I sat my mom down when my elder brother and his itsekiri babe were about taking things to the next level. Told her straight up what if this is the lady that God has destined to bring happiness to your son?
If u force him to break up and he ends up with someone else & becomes miserable, do you think he'll forgive you?

Today they're happilly married.
Pops don calm down
The world hasn't stopped spinning

I have a friend... His babe's father (now father-in-law) was doing anyhow... Causing small-small wahala.

The guy on one of his visits politely told the man, 'Sir please don't be surprised if when next she comes home she is pregnant!'

Ehn!

Straight the man allowed the girl marry o.

I have seen enviable love in the white man's land

I was still admiring an elderly oyinbo couple last week-- the man took the woman to the rain station on a quad bike (old people o), and when the woman was leaving, come and see hugging and kissing (like teenagers).
I con dey wonder...

No be like business or knacking or domestic chores transaction we have in Africa.

Compatibility/ insane love is not easy to find.

Op this right here us the best advise

madridsta007:


I hope you would take the pragmatic and logical decision and not the emotive decision.
We can only talk and pretend about so many things. As Igbos what happens online isn't the reality off-line.

Marrying her means that you will not (1) Recieve the parental blessings that come with marriage when ones parents are alive (2) Dishonour your parents (3) An excommunication between you and your entire family (4) will lead to children whom the community will ostracise as "Osu". Marriage goes beyond the euphoria and excitement of the single day of wedding; you will still have to deal with your family, community, kinsmen, clan, etc. For all the days of your life.

Not marrying her will mean, (1) Heartbreak for both of you and, if managed properly will mean (2) both of you will STILL get married to other partners and families which are in the same religious and community ideology as your families.

This is just the simple analysis.

In the end, she gets married to someone/ a family that accepts her and in the end, you get married to someone your family accepts. You are Igbo. You should know that beyond what is romanticised online, family and family acceptance is a big, big, big thing. Unless you want to pretend to yourself.

henryobinna:
what will the government or NGO really fight?

there's nothing ot be fought here.

the government or NGO won't force his parents and entire community to attend his wedding neither will they force his parents to bless them, not even force the family to accept the girl.

The guy can go on and do court wedding and church wedding if his church is cool with his parents not partaking in it. But traditionally, he and his family (plus kids) are not recognized... The father can refuse to let him into his house or anything concerning him, so what will the government and NGO do in such case?

Some of you who are none Igbos or do not have knowledge of the thing will just be giving advice uppn advice on a subject you lack information of. The truth is nobody can stop him from marrying the girl if he so wishes... At the same time nobody can force others to accept/recognise he and his marriage(family as well)... I don't know how marriages are done in other parts of Nigeria but in Igbo land, it goes beyond the few hours of ceremonies...


By the way, the Osu thing has spiritual repercussions, strangely enough nobody made mention of it here.

I will only advise the OP to go ahead if he's a devoted Christian(because of the spiritual repercussions) and if he's ready to damn the social consequences(family, community etc etc)


Other wise, just do what you know is right. By the way, marrying her sef right now based on her good conduct and love does not determine what she'll turn into tomorrow... people change... love changes.


Good luck with whatever decision you decide to go with

Please what are the spiritual repercussions?

I'm still searching for my own true love

HBB1:


Have you heard of unhappy marriages however?

Unhappy marriages?
You guys make me laugh
Compare modern marriages where they claim love and past marriages which one last more.

Go and meet people that have had a lasting marriage, it takes more than love to make a marriage work. What most people call love is just emotional feelings, it lasts maximum 2 years and reality sets in.

What makes marriage work is commitment of the two parties to themselves, and to raising there children. From where I come from we don't believe in broken homes. So people get to know what they are getting into. Marriage is not this flimsy euphoric feeling in the name of love. Still small thing the so called two people in love can't stand themselves, end up divorcing, exposing children produced in those unions to ridicule and lifetime of pain. Very selfish set of people that care about there own feelings.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Ain't we all?

Sent you a pm

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

Zikora, I’m interested in the peace of mind.

Vickym1:

Which local govt is that pls

I dont think it's neccessay here since I made this post with a pseudonym. Please your candid opinion is highly welcomed.

Pls its not true an OSU wowan can't bear kids that will still be seen as OSU hence her husband is a free born.in my of own side Enugu state nkanu land princely we always believe that there will be negative effects & most times it happens.
[left][/left]

AwkaetitiBabe:
Sorry old tradition wanna deal a heavy blow to your happiness. You simply gotta let go unless you man enough to brave the consequences should you decide to go along with everything.

You both can choose to elope. Issa common something in India. If u can't, better cut off from her cos any kids she bears you will be termed Osu.

Zikora1000:
if you are looking for someone that will give you peace of mind. come, let me show you one. her only fault, she is over 6ft tall. but nice shape humble and very pretty too.

Im Interested,how Do We Talk More On This?

Christopherrrr:
Hello Nairalanders, greetings. My name is Christopher (pseudonym) from the Eastern part of the country, Imo State to be precise. I'm a man in his early 30's. I have an active account here but I had to sign-up for another account for this thread.
Please pardon my grammatical errors and blunders. MOD please help move to FP.

Few months back, I fell in love with a pretty lady with a beautiful soul. She is 28. Though we are running a long distance relationship but the current in the communication link can power Kanji Dam. Lol!! We can be on calls for hours since the very day I met her. There is a fair share of the feelings, affections, respect and regard for each other. It's not one-sided. Though we have been opportune to be together thrice since the past 10months we met. I have had plans to go about engagement and marriage arrangements this coming festive period though I haven't made this known to her.

She gives me joy, she gives me happiness, she prays for me, she blesses me. There is a part of me she unraveled that I never believed existed. Above all, she gives me peace of mind.

Fast forward to last month, I invited her to a family event. I introduced her to my family as my girlfriend. Instantly everyone fell in love with her. My mum was allover her and she was indeed up and doing. She didn't disappoint me. Not pretence, she has a good home training.

When she left same day after the event, my mum proclaimed her love for her. She said, "Olee ebe isi choota udi nwa nke a?" (Where did you find this kinda girl from?). This made me drop a tear of joy thereafter because I've always prayed for such from her any day I introduce a lady to her. This also happens to be my first time.

Fast forward again to 2weeks later, my dad requested I confirm her community and kindred properly because we happen to come from the same LGA. I didn't even know they have started making inquiries for me even before I asked them to. I confirmed from her and informed my dad. Only for them (my parents) to break the news to me days later that we can't marry from their kindred because they are regarded as Out-Casts (Osu-Cast System). Right now, I can't contend my heartbreak. I'm so devastated and confused.

This has been a long-term tradition that has been for centuries that I don't think it's in my capabilities to do away with it or do otherwise.

My problem now is how do I break the news to her for a breakup because we can't continue like this.

I have never ceased to love her less since the very day I learnt of this. In fact, she gives me reasons to love, cherish and adore her every single day. I still do that to the brim and don't have regrets. Quote me, her type is rare. I love this girl with every breath I take. I just cry myself to sleep every night after our long calls.

Please advise a brother because I'm in a deep state of dilemma.

You are in your early 30's. And.... You can't take decisions for yourself.

The life of man is designed in stages of Games. Life is a Game.

Before you CLIMB to a new level, you must CONQUER an Obstacle.

The Obstacle to your future happiness is that OSU CASTE system. Guy, if you want to be GREAT in life, you must break OBSTACLES.

If you do things same way like Ordinary people do, you will remain ORDINARY.

Let me remind you of what Davido said when he wanted to go into music, he said and I quote, " My father never wanted me to be a Musician, once I went for a show and he came to arrest me with 50 policemen "

Now, the question is, Where is Davido today ??.

Break the rules and become GREAT and HAPPY.

OdenKelechi:

How did you go about it?

my family accepted her cuz they do not support the tradition. lost her to the cold hands of death.

AwkaetitiBabe:
This has nothing to do with his belief though. Many forces will b against that union.

For your mind, that's where the obstacles are.

Trutherme:


You are naive. ignorant and ill informed. I am not here to boast about poor families and rich families. Tell us about your rich family or shut up. You may not even be an Igbo person to begin with. Peter Obi's family will have serious issues marrying from an osu family. This has nothing to do with wealth or influence. Do your research well and stop writing rubbish.

Rich Igbos dont bother about Osu, their kids school abroad, get married over there and their parents will gather the Umunna and inform them and ask them what they want, how many cows, drinks etc and it ends there.
Poor Igbos go about talking about the now abolished Osu.
I am Igbo who knows what he is saying and from a prominent politically important Igbo family with interests across Nigeria and abroad.

I have studied the Osu thing and asked question and watched the trend and realised that its basically lovers from Poor backgrounds who fear what Umunna will say and are under the spell of Umunna control, no rich Igbo can be isolated over Osu they do their kids wedding at Government houses and international hotels. No umunna dictates to them

HBB1:


I don't live in Nigeria egbon.
If Meghan Markle were considere white, some people won't make jokes about her monkey baby.

You are the only person I that has turned Obama's colour to a scientific discourse.

*If you are not white, you are not white ( at least that's how the racists have always thought in America, the Carribeans and South Africa).

Obama is as black as my behind.

At the end of the day you know she's mulatto, so stop pushing your fake black agenda, egbon. Obama falls under the same category with her: neither black nor white. Why you are complicating that and making your unsubstantiated claims about their race is ridiculous. Go and learn how to identify race with a pencil. 1st generation Migrants who don't understand race.

The monkey baby isn't because she is black, but because she's tainted. Live with it. Black is black, white is white. Mulatto is mulatto. Your type probably think Latinos are white.

Case closed

I thought the system has been abolished.

Christopherrrr:


No matter how to attach the Western individualistic lifestyle, it must definitely come down to the traditional formalities. Like one Igbo proverb says, "Ofu onye anaghi alu nwanyi" (One person doesn't go to ask for a girl's hand in marriage). Even the girl's family must definitely ask questions about my people. The funniest thing about this whole issue is that you don't DARE mention such stigmatization to their hearing. They are liable to fight, destroy, kill and maim because of it. This is an issue I need not throw caution to the wind.

Bros leave story, if you are financially stable enough, carry the girl and run far from home, settle down in a place of your choice and go to court to formalise it. Start going to MFM and join prayer warrior section. I bet your parents and hers would beg to see you in few years to come. I trust myself, my parents won't even tell me that kindda nonsense

sexiestharam:
Igbo land too get cultural wahala. If it is not osu, it is widowhood rites. Women who are not from igbo land in relationships with igbos should research well to avoid stories that touches tomorrow.

They hate their own ppl how much more an outsider??

love is sweet & good but love is emotion, don't tell her it is because of osu thing you are packing out, simple tell her it can't workout, if she try to blackmail you emotional (e.g after what i have done for you bla bla bla), then set her up!

Jombom:
Pls provide me with her phone # if she's truly interested in a serious n sincere relationship that can lead to marriage. I am Yoruba Osu matter no concern me, in fact God punish the system self.

Yeeee you made me laugh out loud this midnight. Hahahahahahahahaaaaahaha