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My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by ClassicMG(m): 10:06pm On Jan 09, 2020
fatymore:
Simple thing to do.

Fast everyday until what you can only think of is godliness and read your holy book constantly.

Also do away with things that might lure you into having sex... Delete all those oloshos number from your phone and change that route that takes you to the hotel you use.


And the best deal is to get married kiss
It works
sound simple
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Villain7: 10:06pm On Jan 09, 2020
Roadtorecovery:
Good evening everyone.


I have struggled with sex addiction for the past 10 years with out permanent success especially with regards to visiting and sleeping with prostitutes and keeping my mind off sex.
Presently I cant seem to keep my mind of sex and focus on my life and career.

I have a good Job and a beautiful damsel whom i have promised marriage and I am afraid I might loose any if not both of this if I don't stop,think and act NOW.



Since is a habit I learnt over time, how do I unlearn this habit permanently.

Please has anyone been able to get over sex addiction successfully.


My recent relapse after 10 months of celibacy threw me off balance and presently I have lost touch with God, friends and family because of this demeaning lifestyle.


Today after 2 weeks of relapse and wallowing in self pity, I have decided to restart all over again with strong determination to take into consideration the lesson learnt from my last relapse as I plan to adopt a better approach to ensure I conquer this habit.

I have spoken with one of spiritual director who understands sex addiction above my expectations and he is very supportive.

I have also opened up to my younger Cousin brother who also understands what it feels to suffer addiction.

I also confessed to my lady about my relapse and strong determination to quit and she is helpful and supportive but with the condition that she may not cope if I should suffer another relapse.

My addiction and its resultant consequences have made close family and friends loose their respect and confidence in me.

Above all, i feel so separated by God who have done so much for me .

I want to pick my self up and fight because of

1.God
2.Myself
3. Family
4. My girl friend


At this point I need all the help I can get to snatch out my life out of satanic bait to ruin me forever


Any professional here can please save a frustrated brother. I have not give up.










Am really happy you have taken steps and I'll advice to maintain that steps especially with your woman, cousin and spiritual director. And further tell yourself the truth whether to live the habit or not. If you can stop visiting groupies and hoes, that too will be a ref point. Sometimes when with females you may already imagine them in bed, also at that point of imagination, act like you're done and take your mind away... My Bro. Am happy you're helping yourself. God will see you through if you help yourself....

2 Likes

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Roadtorecovery: 10:07pm On Jan 09, 2020
Thanks.
I will read it
leonard002:
I recommend you meet a counselor. I also recommend you get involved with so many activities that you have no time. Get soo busy.

I will recommend a book for you. 'How to stop worrying and start living' by Dale Carnegie.

Not a book on sex addiction but will help you immensely
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by igboamakaaa: 10:07pm On Jan 09, 2020
it can be very discouraging when you think you're there and then you fall again. The secret is that as humans, we can never be perfect...while in this flesh, no one is incapable of infallibility not your pastor, evangelist, prophet not the holier than thou.

God knows this and he also wants you to know that he loves you but hates what you do to yourself. So, whenever you fall, pick yourself back up...be rest assured that God is ready to welcome you back, but don't use this as a motivation to sin willingly all over again. Don't take God for a fool.

Most importantly, tiny consistent drops of water makes a mighty ocean. Be CONSISTENT in prayer to God, pour out your heart to him whenever you pray, beg him to help you. Do this consistently everyday at a particular time of the day, you can even tell your spouse to join you in prayer. And lastly, avoid pornography....starve your body to death of it. The more you feed it, the more it grows into a monster that can't be tamed. Block out anything that riles you up into sexual thoughts and you'd see that slowly... everything will fade away from your life.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look upon his wonderful face...and the things of the earth would strangely fade in the eye of his mercy and Grace.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by fatymore(f): 10:08pm On Jan 09, 2020
ClassicMG:
sound simple
is actually simple
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Stillthebest: 10:08pm On Jan 09, 2020
kiss

The only help you need right now are your God and your mind.

Your mind is the seat of power. You can't be defeated in real life if you havent been defeated in your mind.

Do remember that, you are actually waging a warfare. Anything one feels is abnormal and wants to stop but finding it hard to stop is almost transcending addiction.

No therapy can help an addict if he is not determined. Sex: doesn't just happen without a prior thought of it. You have positioned your mind permanently just the way prostitutes position theirs in the Brotels that made them immediately Hot when they see men on their ways.

Your case isn't different from masturbation, only that you do yours to the female 'holes' while masturbators do theirs to their hands.

If your mind could stay empty of sex thought for 10 months without requesting for sex from Judith that's shaking her well packed bum in your Street, then you can do it again.
Your mind is the only thing you need here.

Remember you are only addicted if you have sex every single day week in and out.
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Rapmoney(m): 10:08pm On Jan 09, 2020
Righteousness89:
devil is a Bastard!

My Brother what you need now is to Surrender completely to JESUS..

I personally will put you in my Prayers...

That yoke Must Break!!

Only JESUS CAN deliver you
If they check properly, you even do worse than the poster.
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Sammy07: 10:09pm On Jan 09, 2020
ZombieTERROR:
Sex addiction kwa..

Just move to Lagos
The stress and hold up alone will reset your brain... It's a promise

I Swear you're right.

When he leaves home as early as 3am and come back by 9pm.
He'll know whatsup
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by ozonechrome: 10:12pm On Jan 09, 2020
Roadtorecovery:




Above all, i feel so separated by God who have done so much for me .

I want to pick my self up and fight because of

1.God


At this point I need all the help I can get to snatch out my life out of satanic bait to ruin me forever


God doesn't love us because we are saints.

He loves us because we are his children.

He came for the sinners.
The bible says only the sick needs doctor.
The doctor is Jesus.

That's the devil making you feel you are too dirty for the Lord.
It's the lie of the devil.

Go the healer with all your sinful self and allow him to heal you.
Surrender to him as obviously you have not been able to help yourself because you are only human.

We are a product of what we feed ourselves.
Feed your spirit with the word, listen to the word on YouTube when you wake up, when you are idle, go to church and fellowship with fellow brethren.
Listen to gospel and enrich your spirit.

Be sincere in spirit and hand this sickness over to God and watch the greatest healer heal you.
That's what he's best at.

The bible says do not worry about tomorrow so take it a day at a time.

We are all sinners by nature so don't beat yourself. It's only the holy spirit that transforms us and makes us clean.

All the best!

4 Likes

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Keizzmann(m): 10:12pm On Jan 09, 2020
I think you're on the right track, making your situation known to close people and the media helps with accountability. I suggest you join any sex addiction community online and join some no fap challenge for some days, then keep increasing it until you finally feel control over your sex life again. I would also suggest you find bible study fellowship to strengthen the God factor here.

I bet, it's not easy to stop a bad habit, hell it's impossible. You only replace it with good ones. If you form some good habits that shadows the bad habits, it'll naturally go away. God help you as you seek change bruh
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Jayess: 10:14pm On Jan 09, 2020
You started complicating things by telling everybody you are addicted to sex, you are not addicted to sex! You just have high sexual libido, and the solution to your problem is marriage so that at least you can start having sex legally and holily (sic), as I perceive that the sinfulness and illegality of your actions is draining fast of your spiritual energy, so make it legal quickly and you will see that you are very normal. You have good job and a fiancé already, what else.....

And it's not everything you discuss with your family members, I hope you gain back your respect and their trust....

But hope you have always used protection sha, if not you are on your own!
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Nobody: 10:15pm On Jan 09, 2020
If you're really serious, you need a compatible gf someone who is also a slave to the flesh like you; invite your gf for a 3some with a professnl ashy so you can compare her performance tongue
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Darkraul01(m): 10:16pm On Jan 09, 2020
ZombieTERROR:
Sex addiction kwa..

Just move to Lagos
The stress and hold up alone will reset your brain... It's a promise
guy get a life this is 2020
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Roadtorecovery: 10:16pm On Jan 09, 2020
Time and focus
Stillwater10:
How has it ruined your life in particular? Does the lifestyle take all your money, time or focus?
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by sharone21(f): 10:17pm On Jan 09, 2020
Dissociate yourself from all things that will make u think/dwell on sex things and especially STOP watching porn.

Pray to get rid of the addiction and always read a good book, Christian book or Bible when u want to dwell on it. If this addiction is the type that will make u sleep with your maid, in laws or commit incest, please u need professional help from Pastors for deliverance.

1 Like

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by kunlesmiles(m): 10:18pm On Jan 09, 2020
My brother, marriage can't safe you from addiction,
(1) if you are a Christian, talk to God personal, don't feel rejected in his presence. Everytime you fall, always go back to him... Read 2 Sam 11 and 12, u will understand better.
(2) get someone you highly respect and be accountable to the person (pastor, counsellor, mum,dad,gf).
(3) Spend more time with d word of God especially wen d urge comes.
(4) stay away from songs and movies dat depicts sex
(5) stay away from sex until u get married, it's difficult but possible.

1 Like

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Baroba(m): 10:19pm On Jan 09, 2020
chudez0147:

I don't wake up with erection everyday. Do you think i have a problem?


Could be omlow testosterone bro, go check your levels..
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by ilemona4u: 10:22pm On Jan 09, 2020
A sex mad person is not entirely different from a dope mad person.. Both have lost control over their faculty of reasons and willpower. Sexual over indulgence may not only destroy reason and willpower, but it may also lead to permanent or temporary insanity as it can become destructive and detrimental like narcotics or alcohol . ... This is because the desire for sexual expression is by far the strongest and most impellers of all human emotions. if only you can use this desire as an opportunity by harnessing and transmuting it into actions other than that of physical expression, you can rise to the status of a genius! !!...... Read " think and grow rich" by napoleon Hill. Chapter 11, the tenth step to riches( the power of sex transmutation). This book is still changing my life. I am now do things I thought I could never accomplish.
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by shadeyinka(m): 10:22pm On Jan 09, 2020
Roadtorecovery:
Good evening everyone.


I have struggled with sex addiction for the past 10 years with out permanent success especially with regards to visiting and sleeping with prostitutes and keeping my mind off sex.

You will become totally free when you understand the spiritual implications of sleeping with prostitutes.

Sexual thoughts are functions of the food you feed your soul. Change your diet.

Your body (as a young man craves for sex) with or without the devil. Learn to ignore it's cravings you won't die if you fail to submit to your body.

You may need deliverance (self or assisted). Finally, prepare to get married
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Longman180(m): 10:22pm On Jan 09, 2020
This is my Advice for you.

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Damony: 10:23pm On Jan 09, 2020
Roadtorecovery:
Good evening everyone.


I have struggled with sex addiction for the past 10 years with out permanent success especially with regards to visiting and sleeping with prostitutes and keeping my mind off sex.
Presently I cant seem to keep my mind of sex and focus on my life and career.

I have a good Job and a beautiful damsel whom i have promised marriage and I am afraid I might loose any if not both of this if I don't stop,think and act NOW.



Since is a habit I learnt over time, how do I unlearn this habit permanently.

Please has anyone been able to get over sex addiction successfully.


My recent relapse after 10 months of celibacy threw me off balance and presently I have lost touch with God, friends and family because of this demeaning lifestyle.


Today after 2 weeks of relapse and wallowing in self pity, I have decided to restart all over again with strong determination to take into consideration the lesson learnt from my last relapse as I plan to adopt a better approach to ensure I conquer this habit.

I have spoken with one of spiritual director who understands sex addiction above my expectations and he is very supportive.

I have also opened up to my younger Cousin brother who also understands what it feels to suffer addiction.

I also confessed to my lady about my relapse and strong determination to quit and she is helpful and supportive but with the condition that she may not cope if I should suffer another relapse.

My addiction and its resultant consequences have made close family and friends loose their respect and confidence in me.

Above all, i feel so separated by God who have done so much for me .

I want to pick my self up and fight because of

1.God
2.Myself
3. Family
4. My girl friend


At this point I need all the help I can get to snatch out my life out of satanic bait to ruin me forever


Any professional here can please save a frustrated brother. I have not give up.









I was once in your shoes. But Christ saved me when I surrendered to him, and started praying for hours.

OP that thing called prayer is very powerful. It destroys lust; and eliminate bad habit
You can't be very active praying and studying the word, and still be under the control of lust Sir

Infact, from my personal experience, I overcame 11yrs of addiction to pornography and masturbation within a week; because Christ crucified my flesh through continuous prayer- Praying when there's a desire to pray, and praying when there's no desire to pray

But in your own case Sir, It might cost you your relationship with your GIRLFRIEND. You can't be planning on overcoming lust but still have a Lady whose unclothedness you see anyday and anytime or whose presence trigger lust.

It might not work for you; because, you're simply trying to avoid a bitter poison while going for a sweet poison; whereas poison is poison, whether served cold, hot, sweet or bitter!


So OP Sir, marry her or stop the relationship totally

But before marrying her ( if that is your choice), I will advise, you avoid her and be healed by God first through a covenanted relationship with God; if not, you would cheat on her when married to her. This is so because, Marriage does not and can not guarantee faithfulness. It is self discipline and strong will that enable that through deeper relationship with God


Hence, go to God for healing through a committed relationship rooted in ceaseless prayer and word-study; then marry your Lady afterwards


You would be glad you follow my advice

5 Likes

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by AgentGoat: 10:26pm On Jan 09, 2020
Get married and have a lot of sex.
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Abagworo(m): 10:30pm On Jan 09, 2020
Get addicted to something else but not drugs. Maybe food, chocolate, alcohol or video games. When I was single the easiest way of getting my mind off a lot of things was video games, history books and Nairaland

1 Like

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Skillsnigeria: 10:32pm On Jan 09, 2020
The Lord will deliver you

1 Like

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by millionboi2: 10:34pm On Jan 09, 2020
Afamed:

Keep quiet, not everyone in Lagos jumps from one danfo to another like suffer head like una
u sim to hv lost ur sense of reasoning,does ur own car fly?

Traffic
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by sharubutu(m): 10:35pm On Jan 09, 2020
soberdrunk:
Any man that can stay "10 months" without sex isn't a "sex addict". I don't know why some people just like to create imaginary problems for themselves, you are healthy brah, all you have to do is channel that sexual energy to your lady and a few side chics(if you are a variety man) or stay loyal to only your lady and your palms, you will reach a certain age and slow down naturally. Stop looking for what isn't missing, every "normal" man wakes up with erection every single day...... angry

I doubt if at all you read what he wrote.
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by WiztaylorDC(m): 10:37pm On Jan 09, 2020
tydi:


You could also try out porn as a career.. You never Could know what is left for you on the other side. grin

Lol...... your advice is very funny, I've been laughing helplessly. whosoever that you're , you are mad. Ah swear
what's on the other side?

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Roadtorecovery: 10:39pm On Jan 09, 2020
You made valid points
Damony:
I was once in your shoes. But Christ saved me when I surrendered to him, and started praying for hours.

OP that thing called prayer is very powerful. It destroys lust; and eliminate bad habit
You can't be very active praying and studying the word, and still be under the control of lust Sir

Infact, from my personal experience, I overcame 11yrs of addiction to pornography and masturbation within a week; because Christ crucified my flesh through continuous prayer- Praying when there's a desire to pray, and praying when there's no desire to pray

But in your own case Sir, It might cost you your relationship with your GIRLFRIEND. You can't be planning on overcoming lust but still have a Lady whose unclothedness you see anyday and anytime or whose presence trigger lust.

It might not work for you; because, you're simply trying to avoid a bitter poison while going for a sweet poison; whereas poison is poison, whether served cold, hot, sweet or bitter!


So OP Sir, marry her or stop the relationship totally

But before marrying her ( if that is your choice), I will advise, you avoid her and be healed by God first through a covenanted relationship with God; if not, you would cheat on her when married to her. This is so because, Marriage does not and can not guarantee faithfulness. It is self discipline and strong will that enable that through deeper relationship with God


Hence, go to God for healing through a committed relationship rooted in ceaseless prayer and word-study; then marry your Lady afterwards


You would be glad you follow my advice
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by nextstep(m): 10:40pm On Jan 09, 2020
Roadtorecovery:
I have struggled with sex addiction for the past 10 years with out permanent success especially with regards to visiting and sleeping with prostitutes and keeping my mind off sex.
I also confessed to my lady about my relapse and strong determination to quit and she is helpful and supportive but with the condition that she may not cope if I should suffer another relapse.

What I'm going to say is bound to raise eyebrows.

You like sex. We all do. Some have higher drives than others, and that's natural. Does the male dog, gorilla or rabbit try to avoid sex? No!
Is a dog bad for wanting to bang all the time? No!
What about the rooster? No!
Why then should the human be made to feel bad? "Sexual addiction" or the theory that it's bad is a construct born of human society (arguably by sexless monks and psychologists) that ignores the facts of nature.

I say give in to your urges and enjoy sex with others to your heart's content, just be sure to use protection. If it means losing this lady, then so be it. Better now than later when you're married with kids and your "demon" resurfaces.

I believe if you do so, you will eventually get it out of your system. It's fun and exciting but even cake starts to lose its sweetness after too much. When later you've got it out of your system, and lady is still willing to have you, then continue your relationship.

On the other hand, I believe if you fight it, or pray on it, or try to mask it with other addictions (work, prayer, church, sports, gambling) you will continue to crave it and it will control your mind... even now, you use words like "relapse", which indicates it has a greater hold on you. If you fight it, it will simply hide in the recess of your mind, taunting you, waiting to be unleashed at some later date.

Please "mind over body", "prayer warrior" crowd, hold your peace. Same to those who would take my words of "give in to your urges" and use that as a suggestion that I might condone murder... don't be silly.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by Chigozie105(m): 10:42pm On Jan 09, 2020
tydi:


You could also try out porn as a career.. You never Could know what is left for you on the other side. grin





Hahahahahahahahahahah grin grin grin grin
Abeg help a brother we are all learning here
Re: My Ten Year Struggle With Sex Addiction Is Ruining me. by MENTORCH(m): 10:44pm On Jan 09, 2020
I used to be like you before until I met one Mexican girl that made me get tired of sex, now I’m no more a sex addict. I’m just a Norma person. I can stay days without thinking of sex. Trust me no matter how much you love sex, you will meet a girl that will make you get irritated of sex, it will not be so much fun anymore, when you would have practically done it all constantly.

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