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Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! - Romance (28) - Nairaland

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Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! / Lady's Reply To "What Would You Do If Your Husband's Mum Slapped You?" / A Lady's Reply To A Guy Who Asked For Her Hand In Marriage On WhatsApp (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by legendary4luv(m): 5:34pm On Apr 10, 2020
ednut1:
sure. Schengen more likely to give. Make u go marry on oyinbo cheesy




.
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by Nobody: 6:46pm On Apr 10, 2020
Ayinke93:


I do not have issues with men, I personally look forward to marrying an amazing man in future and raising a beautiful family. But my issue is misogyny around here. Just read around NL alone, the mindset men have towards women. The need to control, manipulate and use them. It's not as if these things are new in our culture, it just shows you a sneak peak of what women have had to go through from several generations.

The sufferings of older women that younger women saw from time immemorial is what is making them hardened and why many have chose to train themselves to fight and destroy the patriarchy. And truth be told, the fight is against patriarchy not men.

You really cannot blame them for these decision, but for an oppressed gender, they all learned to evolve and if both genders have to work hand in hand, the one that is so obsessed with being superior has to cast his ego and see women as humans, not tools to use for control and manipulation. Nobody was built for pain.
Yes,There's truth in your Statement I read misogynist Comments but I also read many 'Man Hating' and offensive Comments.
Funny enough,Times have changed and will continue to do so.In today's economy,It takes two paychecks to support a family,so women must work then we both have free times in the evenings.
To me if pain sharing is a problem Then we can curtail that and have a balance at home.As the man,while I take care of the Garbage,Fetch water or take care of the weeds in the compound,one would expect you as the woman would take care of the house, cleaning at the same come up with a well made tasty meal for us.Same theory applies to other aspects of the home economics or we can as well switch Roles and you do mine while I just do urs.So no one would certainly suffer for want of an equal stand point.which if we are to vote I would preferably do mine.
I am afraid most women here are carrying the wrong Interpretation of Feminism.I don't think the Feminists of the 70s are of the same views with those of Today.
Some women here ranting "Men are Evil" have done more damage to humanity than the entire evil men in the world put together grin. We live in such a world that does not comfort either gender but as Africans needless to say we live in a Patriarchy.No matter how the world evolves we will always be Africans/Nigerians.We must always observe the norms and traditions of our forefathers.
Yes,Equalism is the way forward but Matriarchy practices should have no place in our Society.
Anyways,I really do wish you all the best in Life especially in getting a man of your choice that's truly worthy.

2 Likes

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by bezimo(m): 6:58pm On Apr 10, 2020
Culturedboss1:
This OP said alot of Facts.
Visited Canada 3years ago on a tourists Visa.
Met alot of Nigerians schooling there and I must say our girls over there own one social media channel or the other which has generally been linked to depression.
I met alot of our girls tho but one in particular I met at Ontario when I went to see the famous Niagara Falls.She that had me subscribed to her different channels from YouTube to Instagram to Snapchat where she kept on talking about Celebrities and their fashion sense every dam day.She kept uploading and updating.I just gave up.
And I noticed all the other Naija girls I met were also on similar shiit.If it's not talking about fashion and make-up, it's about one useless trending dance move.
I kept wondering what all that was about and these are mostly peeps basically sent to Study.
SomeOne Said Something,At first when u go abroad u tend to chyke a fellow Naija chic but their formings over there no be here.
Why even stress yourself over our babes with attitude and bad manners when a white Chic will be winking and giving u green light at lil or no expense??Forcing me to subscribe and listening to ur boring bullshiit Clips!! Is the worst thing I've ever been subjected to.
Modified;Can Someone pls stop Liking my Posts here??Don't Need those Likes..E get Why.

So true

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by iPopAlomo(m): 7:00pm On Apr 10, 2020
ibkayee:

Lol it really isn’t, and I’m not even ‘hating’

Btw, longest time stranger. Hope you’re keeping well cheesy


Fam... I'm good... But you know white girls rush 9ja boys...

Yeah... Hope you're safe in London...? Shii is real here too... But we good good...
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 7:20pm On Apr 10, 2020
iPopAlomo:



Fam... I'm good... But you know white girls rush 9ja boys...

Yeah... Hope you're safe in London...? Shii is real here too... But we good good...
Lol nah they don't

I'm safe thanks, just keeping myself inside. Stay safe
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by bezimo(m): 7:28pm On Apr 10, 2020
ovielistic:


I dey Canada and my boo na white girl..very correct girl..Nigerian girls irritate me with so much passion with their bitchy self entitled stupid mentality. Most 9ja guys here in Canada will tell you Nigeria girls no follow..its better to date Kenyan girl who came here or other African girls or white girls sef.Even in our church here..my pastor was like so you no see any girl for church here..I am like you wee not understand.This girls you don't know them..lol

I tell you..you hardly see white guys and 9ja girls..Those white guys can't stand them..no one wants a bitch ass self entitled girl forming strong...you see way more black 9ja guys with white and foreign girls.My guys in the USA tell me same thing..Nigerian girls are the same..

Wow..I can relate though.Our girls should change their attitude. It's not good.
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by iPopAlomo(m): 8:55pm On Apr 10, 2020
ibkayee:

Lol nah they don't

I'm safe thanks, just keeping myself inside. Stay safe


Plenty examples... Not 3rd party stories...
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 10:02pm On Apr 10, 2020
iPopAlomo:



Plenty examples... Not 3rd party stories...
I've lived with white people and all other types of races my entire life, it just isn't a thing. Other than satisfying a fetish, black men generally aren’t on their radars like that when it comes to long term relationships.

Ontop of that, naija guys (who may technically fall under the umbrella of 'black men' but there's a difference and Nigerian men are not necessarily who people are thinking about when we're talking about about 'black men') want to add themselves to the equation lmao.

Outside of the black community, Naija guys aren't even relevant or 'mainstream' like that for anyone to be rushing after them in the first place. Unless the oyibo woman just happens to hang with a lot of Nigerians (which isn't common)...nobody knows you. When they think of Nigerian men the only thing they probably know about them are emails from the random 'Nigerian princes' asking for money lol

Whenever you see a Naija guy in an interracial relationship with an oyibo woman she usually isn't someone he'd go for on a normal day if he didn't need to use her to stay in the country. She's usually really old or just not considered desirable amongst her own, and this makes them easy targets.

There will always be exceptions and I'm not saying that 'genuine' relationships between Nigerian men and oyibo women don't exist, but they're not common enough to be creating conversations. 9/10 he's just using her for a visa or something and he's usually the one pursuing her lol

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by iPopAlomo(m): 11:11pm On Apr 10, 2020
ibkayee:

I've lived with white people and all other types of races my entire life, it just isn't a thing. Other than satisfying a fetish, black men generally aren’t on their radars like that when it comes to long term relationships.

Ontop of that, naija guys (who may technically fall under the umbrella of 'black men' but there's a difference and Nigerian men are not necessarily who people are thinking about when we're talking about about 'black men') want to add themselves to the equation lmao.

Outside of the black community, Naija guys aren't even relevant or 'mainstream' like that for anyone to be rushing after them in the first place. Unless the oyibo woman just happens to hang with a lot of Nigerians (which isn't common)...nobody knows you. When they think of Nigerian men the only thing they probably know about them are emails from the random 'Nigerian princes' asking for money lol

Whenever you see a Naija guy in an interracial relationship with an oyibo woman she usually isn't someone he'd go for on a normal day if he didn't need to use her to stay in the country. She's usually really old or just not considered desirable amongst her own, and this makes them easy targets.

There will always be exceptions and I'm not saying that 'genuine' relationships between Nigerian men and oyibo women don't exist, but they're not common enough to be creating conversations. 9/10 he's just using her for a visa or something and he's usually the one pursuing her lol






This is absolutely not true...

You're a "black woman" in another country legally, are you saying only black women imigrate legally and black men don't...?

One... that's stereotyping and two that's complete bullcrap...

In London... Black men is a tinq... I don't know the type of people you roll with... But 110%... 75% of the ladies in London are into/slash dating black men.

London is too crowded and before you see two white people holding hands walking down a street, you'll count 10 half and half before you'd see two old white folks...

And in Canada... Right now... Presently... I've got white women hitting on me...

You really should go out more...

3 Likes

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by iPopAlomo(m): 11:30pm On Apr 10, 2020
ibkayee:


Whenever you see a Naija guy in an interracial relationship with an oyibo woman she usually isn't someone he'd go for on a normal day if he didn't need to use her to stay in the country. She's usually really old or just not considered desirable amongst her own, and this makes them easy targets.

There will always be exceptions and I'm not saying that 'genuine' relationships between Nigerian men and oyibo women don't exist, but they're not common enough to be creating conversations. 9/10 he's just using her for a visa or something and he's usually the one pursuing her lol



This is a psychology article dated as far back as 2010
With statistics to back up facts...


https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/love-in-limbo/201008/unequal-love-across-the-color-line


Sis... If that was written 10 years ago, you can imagine the numbers now...

Black/African men in the 'abroad' will in fact date and marry in these order of preference,

White women
Latinos
Asians
Carribeans
Aliens

before

Africans/Black


You must be living under a rock to believe black men only fufill fantasy... In one year, I've had more white women hit on me....

Again... Just pull up facts and numbers... Show me one article that says white women don't dig black men...

I should've used Nigerian men... But I'm too tired to type... Just change the black to Nigerian men.

2 Likes

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 11:35pm On Apr 10, 2020
iPopAlomo:



This is absolutely not true...

You're a "black woman" in another country legally, are you saying only black women imigrate legally and black men don't...?

One... that's stereotyping and two that's complete bullcrap...

In London... Black men is a tinq... I don't know the type of people you roll with... But 110%... 75% of the ladies in London are into/slash dating black men.

London is too crowded and before you see two white people holding hands walking down a street, you'll count 10 half and half before you'd see two old white folks...

And in Canada... Right now... Presently... I've got white women hitting on me...

You really should go out more...
Lol we'll agree to disagree. Like I said, there are exceptions but oyibo women as a collective, generally are not 'rushing' after Naija men, or interested in them. Not sure where you got your stats from...but a handful of white women who lusted after some black men and a few personal anecdotes of some oyibos ladies hitting on you does not equate to white women as a whole rushing naija men lmao cheesy

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by iPopAlomo(m): 11:43pm On Apr 10, 2020
ibkayee:

Lol we'll agree to disagree. Like I said, there are exceptions but oyibo women as a collective, generally are not 'rushing' after Naija men, or interested in them. Not sure where you got your stats from...but a handful of white women who lusted after some black men and a few personal anecdotes of some oyibos ladies hitting on you does not equate to white women as a whole rushing naija men lmao cheesy




Facts remain... African Nigerian Women are left out.

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by Toseenlove: 11:49pm On Apr 10, 2020
tyup:
Reading some few lines i knew the whole message would be senseless n really when that guy said 9ja babes in Canada 're less attractive n not good looking dang i now believe

mehnn Op wor wor ehn Tuueh

Besides only a lonely lady would have such time to reply breaking in messages just like you've done
sad

Lol no be lie, Op worwor true true facially, but I hope she will have a beautiful heart and a good character because that's the most Important thing In a female being. Op has to be quite financially okay as well If we are to get married.....
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by SIRTee15: 12:59am On Apr 11, 2020
ibkayee:

I've lived with white people and all other types of races my entire life, it just isn't a thing. Other than satisfying a fetish, black men generally aren’t on their radars like that when it comes to long term relationships.

Ontop of that, naija guys (who may technically fall under the umbrella of 'black men' but there's a difference and Nigerian men are not necessarily who people are thinking about when we're talking about about 'black men') want to add themselves to the equation lmao.

Outside of the black community, Naija guys aren't even relevant or 'mainstream' like that for anyone to be rushing after them in the first place. Unless the oyibo woman just happens to hang with a lot of Nigerians (which isn't common)...nobody knows you. When they think of Nigerian men the only thing they probably know about them are emails from the random 'Nigerian princes' asking for money lol

Whenever you see a Naija guy in an interracial relationship with an oyibo woman she usually isn't someone he'd go for on a normal day if he didn't need to use her to stay in the country. She's usually really old or just not considered desirable amongst her own, and this makes them easy targets.

There will always be exceptions and I'm not saying that 'genuine' relationships between Nigerian men and oyibo women don't exist, but they're not common enough to be creating conversations. 9/10 he's just using her for a visa or something and he's usually the one pursuing her lol





So how come mixed race kids are so rampant in UK....where I live...
Not only in London...but every major UK cities...
I believe in the near future....mixed race -white/black will become a significant distint ethnic minority....

Pls don't tell me white male/black female is responsible for majority because we both know that's not true.......

2 Likes

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 2:55am On Apr 11, 2020
iPopAlomo:



This is a psychology article dated as far back as 2010
With statistics to back up facts...


https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/love-in-limbo/201008/unequal-love-across-the-color-line


Sis... If that was written 10 years ago, you can imagine the numbers now...
Skimmed the article, one of the links doesn’t work, as for the one that does…a study done in the US found that 22% of all black male newlyweds in 2008 married outside their race.

I don’t find this number farfetched, but I didn’t see anything about how much of this percentage involves oyibos. Let’s assume they account for 15%, this isn’t really disproving anything I said.

15% isn’t painting a picture of white women generally rushing black men. I didn’t say white women and black men do not have long term relationships at all, a potion of white women marrying black men is not necessarily the same thing as average white women as a collective coveting the black man for a serious relationship. I think you’re mixing up points.


Black/African men in the 'abroad' will in fact date and marry in these order of preference,

White women
Latinos
Asians
Carribeans
Aliens

before

Africans/Black
We’re talking about what the average white woman goes after, not the black/african man’s preference so this is irrelevant.


You must be living under a rock to believe black men only fufill fantasy... In one year, I've had more white women hit on me....
I didn’t say black men only fulfil fantasies, I said that for the most part, black men are not generally on the average oyibo woman’s radar, they may not be averse to you but unless they’re trying to satisfy a fantasy because of stereotypes, you are not first on their lists for someone to be claiming they’re rushing you lol, as far as a serious relationship.

Lol I don’t know anything about your personal life, but you telling me they’re hitting on you isn’t really disproving what I’m saying either, I don’t know what their intent was but I know hitting on someone usually means someone’s trying to make sexual advances.


Again... Just pull up facts and numbers... Show me one article that says white women don't dig black men...

I should've used Nigerian men... But I'm too tired to type... Just change the black to Nigerian men.
Lol for the last time, I’m not saying no white woman digs black men. They just aren’t necessarily rushing them for any serious on average.

Your article referenced an okcupid study so I’ll do the same for a similar year, this is one from 2009. Picture is attached and as you can see it is not supporting this rushing black man narrative, from 2009 to 2014. (Admittedly black men are not a monolith so this is not a great representation of all black men but since you referenced it first...)

"Five years ago, the basics of race and attraction on OkCupid looked like this:
men
— non-black men were less likely to start conversations with black women
— while black men showed little racial preference either way
women
— all women preferred men of their own race
— but they otherwise were less likely to start conversations with both Asian and black men
Here’s how the exact person-to-person numbers looked:"


Also, ‘black men’ in the context of the article is most likely referring to an African American majority, not ‘Nigerians’, lool you may technically be black but you are still very different groups of people, so I cannot just ‘change black to Nigerian’ because they aren't interchangeable as simply as that, the article does not represent Nigerians lool. Oyibo women are NOT rushing for Naija men lmao, stop it.

Link to reference theblog.okcupid.com/race-and-attraction-2009-2014-107dcbb4f060

2 Likes

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 2:59am On Apr 11, 2020
iPopAlomo:



Facts remain... African Nigerian Women are left out.
Lol it's not a competition though, I don't see Nigerian women clenching onto white men's 'approval' the way I've seen Nigerian men do it

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 3:04am On Apr 11, 2020
SIRTee15:


So how come mixed race kids are so rampant in UK....where I live...
Not only in London...but every major UK cities...
I believe in the near future....mixed race -white/black will become a significant distint ethnic minority....

Pls don't tell me white male/black female is responsible for majority because we both know that's not true.......
Let's be honest. Black men are at the bottom of the socio economic ladder on average, why would the group of women with the highest social currency (white privilege plays in here because I'm not even saying they deserve it, but that's just how things are) be chasing after the men with the lowest? White woman average are not rushing after black men for anything serious. Are there are a portion oyibo women who go for them despite this? Sure, but definitely not the majority or even that many in the grand scheme of things. I’d also like to clarify that there’s a difference between being open to dating someone and coveting them as whole, the latter just isn’t true, we can agree to disagree lol.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by africanpride1: 9:43am On Apr 11, 2020
universe26:

hi u said yahshem on ur post. are you a YAHWEHist? Just asking.
Yes, I am. Are you?

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by uchman(m): 10:22am On Apr 11, 2020
[quote author=searchng4love post=88263410][/quote]

This one wey you dey happy for all her jabs, e be like say you don try e no work?
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by chic2pimp(m): 11:20am On Apr 11, 2020
ibkayee:

Also, even though they're all technically black, I like to differentiate between British black men, British Nigerian men and home based Nigerian men because the differences between them is another topic on its own lol

Rahhhh!...Me personally, I'd like to know the difference between a Black Brit and a British Nigerian? Without looking at their names, how do you differentiate between these two sub groups? What distinct feature does one group possess that is clearly missing from the other?
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by SIRTee15: 11:58am On Apr 11, 2020
ibkayee:

Let's be honest. Black men are at the bottom of the socio economic ladder on average, why would the group of women with the highest social currency (white privilege plays in here because I'm not even saying they deserve it, but that's just how things are) be chasing after the men with the lowest? White woman average are not rushing after black men for anything serious. Are there are a portion oyibo women who go for them despite this? Sure, but definitely not the majority or even that many in the grand scheme of things. I’d also like to clarify that there’s a difference between being open to dating someone and coveting them as whole, the latter just isn’t true, we can agree to disagree lol.

Trust me I'm not here to throw banter against women or denigrate women folks.....
I don't do that...I respect black women......

I just wanted a honest answer to the rampant population of mixed race in UK...

B4 I arrived here, I used to think inter racial marriage is just a one off thing, used by desperate immigrants to attain settlements....
But result on ground shows otherwise....
I don't think white women drools over black male, but I think they are very much open to dating black men....

Go to youtube and watch public videos seeking women opinion on which nationality has the pengest boys..
most women- black, white, yellow, brown, Arabs etc all voted for Jamaican guyz- black male.....

However, I disagree black men are the bottom of socio economic ladder....
Recent statistics show nigerian Americans are among most successful and top 10 percentile high income earners in usa....more than whites....
The narrative is also changing in UK....we are no longer the lowest income earners....
And with the influx of African professionals into NHS, IT industry and financial sectors....
The future trajectory looks good....
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 12:06pm On Apr 11, 2020
chic2pimp:


Rahhhh!...Me personally, I'd like to know the difference between a Black Brit and a British Nigerian? Without looking at their names, how do you differentiate between these two sub groups? What distinct feature does one group possess that is clearly missing from the other?
Lool I usually make a distinction between homebased Africans, those who are ethnically African but raised abroad (2nd gens will come under this, though technically British they still have parents who were born in their homeland so their upbringing will reflect this which is why I wanted to make a distinction between them and a Black Brit) and then the Black Brit/Others (could be carribean, mixed etc, maybe even some third gens etc) black people.

Difference to me is not necessarily the names (although this can sometimes be an indicator) or even physical appearance. It's usually culture, ideologies, upbringing, identification etc. They may all originate from the same place but they were socialised/raised in different ways, there are certain ways that a homebased may think and act that a guy raised abroad may not and vice versa.

Also, in the context of this discussion, an Oyibo’s experience with ‘black people’ is generally more likely going to be with the ‘abroad’ black community, rather than say a community that is more representative of those who are homebased, the same could even be said between two different countries in Africa for example, but I digress.

So if they’re referring to ‘black people’ (since people have a habit of clumping all black together even though there are so many distinct groups within it with our own unique differences), they are more than likely referring to the ones they live in close proximity to, they are not thinking about Nigerians, Kenyans, Egyptians etc.

I made this distinction people folks on here were acting like when there’s a discussion about black people as a whole, Naija is who they particularly have in mind, when it’s not that straightforward. They may be a part of the conversation merely by skin association, but folks on here were acting like they were at the forefront.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 12:20pm On Apr 11, 2020
SIRTee15:


Trust me I'm not here to throw banter against women or denigrate women folks.....
I don't do that...I respect black women......

I just wanted a honest answer to the rampant population of mixed race in UK...

B4 I arrived here, I used to think inter racial marriage is just a one off thing, used by desperate immigrants to attain settlements....
But result on ground shows otherwise....
I don't think white women drools over black male, but I think they are very much open to dating black men....

Go to youtube and watch public videos seeking women opinion on which nationality has the pengest boys..
most women- black, white, yellow, brown, Arabs etc all voted for Jamaican guyz- black male.....

However, I disagree black men are the bottom of socio economic ladder....
Recent statistics show nigerian Americans are among most successful and top 10 percentile high income earners in usa....more than whites....
The narrative is also changing in UK....we are no longer the lowest income earners....
And with the influx of African professionals into NHS, IT industry and financial sectors....
The future trajectory looks good....
But this is exactly what I am saying though, I'm not saying white women aren't open to dating black men at all, I'm saying that on average, they aren't drooling/rushing after them

I wasn't talking about or disputing their physical attractiveness to be honest, I was talking about their positioning on the socio economic ladder. Things may be getting better, but unless you're rich and famous, socially, the average black men is not seen as a status symbol.

Nigerians tend do well on the career front, don't get me wrong, but they aren't representative of black people as a whole.

I'm honestly not trying to degenerate anyone either

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by Tetero9(m): 2:01pm On Apr 11, 2020
I live in Canada, the write up is almost true...there are other black girls to contend with ( Carribeans and other Africans). Most Nigerian women here are single mothers, it is always difficult to date even when you try. Still trying though!

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by chic2pimp(m): 2:18pm On Apr 11, 2020
ibkayee:

Lool I usually make a distinction between homebased Africans, those who are ethnically African but raised abroad (2nd gens will come under this, though technically British they still have parents who were born in their homeland so their upbringing will reflect this which is why I wanted to make a distinction between them and a Black Brit) and then the Black Brit/Others (could be carribean, mixed etc, maybe even some third gens etc) black people.

To summarize, in your opinion a Black Brit is an individual whose ancestry goes all the way back(you'll have to trace it really)or those that have fully acclimated to the british way of life? That means there would only be a handful of them then as most Black British Families came in during the wind rush era or the 70s/80s and the majority of them still live in small communities scattered all over the country. You'd have to go way back to the Slave trade Era to find Real True Black Brits. IMO second Generation Black people of African/Carribean descent fall under the Black British category. You and I for example.

ibkayee:

Difference to me is not necessarily the names (although this can sometimes be an indicator) or even physical appearance. It's usually culture, ideologies, upbringing, identification etc. They may all originate from the same place but they were socialised/raised in different ways, there are certain ways that a homebased may think and act that a guy raised abroad may not and vice versa.

I hear that and I 100% agree. For instance I can more often than not tell the difference between a Second Gen Ghanian and say a Second Gen Trini.

ibkayee:

Also, in the context of this discussion, an Oyibo’s experience with ‘black people’ is generally more likely going to be with the ‘abroad’ black community, rather than say a community that is more representative of those who are homebased, the same could even be said between two different countries in Africa for example, but I digress.

Whilst I agree that an Oyinbo person's experience with Black people is generally going to be from the perspective of an "Abroad Based" community, by your definition, that still falls under the British African/Carribean category not the Black British one. Upward Social Mobility is the Main reason why Black Families move into White areas and seeing that upward mobility is more prevalent amongst 1st and 2 Gen Afro/Carribean Migrants,they are likely to meet their fair share of people from these Sub Group.

ibkayee:

I made this distinction people folks on here were acting like when there’s a discussion about black people as a whole, Naija is who they particularly have in mind, when it’s not that straightforward. They may be a part of the conversation merely by skin association, but folks on here were acting like they were at the forefront.

There is a reason why I tend not to get myself involved in this sort of debate. As you can see I specifically asked for the difference between a "Black Brit" and a "British Nigerian" not a "British Nigerian" and a "Nigerian Freshie". There is a whole world of difference between the Latter subgroups I mentioned. Anyone that thinks otherwise is simply fooling Him/Herself. The White Girls amongst them that only date Nigerians(using that in context of this debate) are referring to the Likes of AJ,Tinie Tempah and Maro Itoje not some Fresh off the Boat Aff Uncle. Sorry Mr but no one is looking in your direction.
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by BabbanBura(m): 2:24pm On Apr 11, 2020
whizqueen:
My friend sent me this thread last night but I had too much to say so here we go.

I (A Nigerian girl living in Canada) will be responding to the OP's points and some other comments I found on the thread.


Are Nigerian Ladies in Canada lonely? Ofcourse we are! Are Nigerian girls in NIGERIA lonely? Hell yeah!!! Are Nigerian girls in other countries lonely? Absolutely!!!!! Being lonely is not a factor of location or person. It's about not finding the right friends/partner you vibe with.


Why did we immigrate? Bros are you kidding me? Canadian govt is paying me $2000 monthly and other benefits for losing income due to covid-19 Is that happening in Naija right now? All the money donated by philanthropist in Nigeria would soon disappear into the thin air without our govt giving explanation of any sort. Ofcourse, it's not bed of roses abroad neither were we expecting a man wrapped in a gift bag but please don't let your sentiments cloud your reasoning as to why people make immigration decisions abeg.


I personally feel attacked cry grin I recently posted a video on my YouTube Channel about finding love & online dating in Canada. It's asif this hope saw my video and wanted to attack me


What makes you think we would be interested in you to begin with? Don't pride yourself too much plis dear


If you like let the OP influence your decision and stop you from chasing your immigration dreams, last last it's up to you to decide what you want for your future.


Whilst I would agree with growing together with your partner and building with them. I think it's just shallow minded of anyone in this age and time to ask for women to chase marriage first before career. Marriage is not the ultimate not everyone sees marriage as an achievement. These days, if you crave for sex so much, you can pay someone to do it or get yourself a Love Machine, if you want a child, you can literally just buy a sperm and save yourself lots of stress. Most of us are yet to keep an open mind to these things, however if you want something badly there;s always a way to get it.


Most Nigerian men hate to see it happen, there are laws that protect women here and they would prefer dying single than to see women as their equals. A good number of them are control freaks and would rather their woman be at their beck and call for everything as opposed to having their marriage work as a partnership. Nigerian married man knowing the laws of the land will still go ahead and cheat on his wife with a girl living in the same condo with his wife. Una no even dey fear or respect una madam. If atall you really want to cheat, you cannot travel to Nigeria and secretly mess with girls that fancy IJGB crew or allen avenue. As expected, some women do exploit the situation but if you find yourself a god-fearing person and you do the right thing, no divorce laws or child custody issue would stop y'all from flourishing.


White men dont find us attractive? Laughs is Swahili
On the contrary most men of other races have FETISH for Nigerian girls and Black girls in general. Maybe not long term in all cases tho but they reaaaaaaally fancy us and admire our enthusiasm towards life. Whilst most Nigerian girls would likely not wanna go for the likes of 'Ryan', 'Billy' and co it's not cos we don't find them attractive. Firstly, Naija guys are smart, intelligent and goal oriented. You see the average ones already have plans for their future and working towards it unlike the counterparts who are comfortable with just a high school degree. If a Naija guy is even into technical jobs he would try to be the best at it and work towards starting his own company in the near future. Secondly, coping with someone with a different culture, lifestyle, food, etc is honestly stressful. I was talking with one Persian guy and he said before we can kiss or hold hands, we have to be temporarily married. undecided The other chinese guy is only about 5ft tall, I'm just wondering what he would look like in that department shocked

In Nigeria, when you visit a guy at home, some would expect you to know that's express ticket to get laid with them. But here if you visit a guy at home, you can be almost certain that if you guys have sex it's cos you wanted it, no guy will try to lure or manipulate you to straff them or tell you when you came to my house what were you thinking. They know it's important to ask for your opinion or even avoid the whole situation altogether.

Something the OP failed to address is that the Loneliness spans across both men and women living in Diaspora. Even the white people find it hard getting a partner for themselves much less an immigrant that would probably take some time to fully settle in. The system is built to have everyone mind their business, that togetherness or family-spirit is missing.

All the naija guys and ladies in Toronto have finish dating themselves. It's such a small city, everyone knows eachother thru another person only a matter of time before you find out that; the guy toasting you is ex with your colleagues' friend. Or the guy you matched with on the dating app went on a date with your housemate the day before. Some would be married and they would be on the dating apps lying to other women.

Some of us don't even mind going back home to bring men here, but 'em guys just they find paper. Only few genuinely love and care for you. I kuku know people here already do that as business tho, some ladies/guys now charge up to $30,000 to marry people from home to help them get residency here.

There are tons of Nigerians in Canada groups on WhatsApp and Telegram some are just for singles and you find people of age 35, 40, etc filled with both women and MEN. Some guys eventually resort to going back home to marry the less exposed girls, but guess what happens once they reach YYZ airport? Oh well your guess is as good as mine. Their eyes go open finish.

A good number of Naija guys are single and desperately finding love as well as ladies. Truth is, we all crave for love. And that's not a bad thing to want. Finding a good match or significant other is a honestly a game of chance. Home and Abroad, White or Black race finding a partner is truly difficult and if you got lucky finding that one special person, you better love and cherish them truly.

I rest my case; I am in the comment section waiting for someone to jump on my mention and before you do so just remember: Opinions are like as5holes and everyone is entitled to one. So this is my opinion, I have free time today grin

Link to Original thread https://www.nairaland.com/5782313/chai-nigerian-girls-canada-lonely

With this ya long post I now believe indeed ya boredom get exponential, e pass Naija own geometrically
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by sleekysoft(m): 2:56pm On Apr 11, 2020
My own is while this argument is going on... Me am lonely and its killing.... i havent been with a black girl in 2 years..How can man overcome
Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 3:41pm On Apr 11, 2020
chic2pimp:


To summarize, in your opinion a Black Brit is an individual whose ancestry goes all the way back(you'll have to trace it really)or those that have fully acclimated to the british way of life? That means there would only be a handful of them then as most Black British Families came in during the wind rush era or the 70s/80s and the majority of them still live in small communities scattered all over the country. You'd have to go way back to the Slave trade Era to find Real True Black Brits. IMO second Generation Black people of African/Carribean descent fall under the Black British category. You and I for example.



I hear that and I 100% agree. For instance I can more often than not tell the difference between a Second Gen Ghanian and say a Second Gen Trini.



Whilst I agree that an Oyinbo person's experience with Black people is generally going to be from the perspective of an "Abroad Based" community, by your definition, that still falls under the British African/Carribean category not the Black British one. Upward Social Mobility is the Main reason why Black Families move into White areas and seeing that upward mobility is more prevalent amongst 1st and 2 Gen Afro/Carribean Migrants,they are likely to meet their fair share of people from these Sub Group.
2nd gen black people of African/Carribean descent fall under the black British category and have more in common than a homebased guy, but for the sake of this topic I just wanted to differentiate them here as far at their dating/marriage patterns based on upbringing.


There is a reason why I tend not to get myself involved in this sort of debate. As you can see I specifically asked for the difference between a "Black Brit" and a "British Nigerian" not a "British Nigerian" and a "Nigerian Freshie". There is a whole world of difference between the Latter subgroups I mentioned. Anyone that thinks otherwise is simply fooling Him/Herself. The White Girls amongst them that only date Nigerians(using that in context of this debate) are referring to the Likes of AJ,Tinie Tempah and Maro Itoje not some Fresh off the Boat Aff Uncle. Sorry Mr but no one is looking in your direction.
Lol exactly, but homebased ones on here paint the narrative that this applies to all Nigerians, including the 'freshies'

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Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by Nobody: 3:51pm On Apr 11, 2020
ibkayee:

I've lived with white people and all other types of races my entire life, it just isn't a thing. Other than satisfying a fetish, black men generally aren’t on their radars like that when it comes to long term relationships.

Ontop of that, naija guys (who may technically fall under the umbrella of 'black men' but there's a difference and Nigerian men are not necessarily who people are thinking about when we're talking about about 'black men') want to add themselves to the equation lmao.

Outside of the black community, Naija guys aren't even relevant or 'mainstream' like that for anyone to be rushing after them in the first place. Unless the oyibo woman just happens to hang with a lot of Nigerians (which isn't common)...nobody knows you. When they think of Nigerian men the only thing they probably know about them are emails from the random 'Nigerian princes' asking for money lol

Whenever you see a Naija guy in an interracial relationship with an oyibo woman she usually isn't someone he'd go for on a normal day if he didn't need to use her to stay in the country. She's usually really old or just not considered desirable amongst her own, and this makes them easy targets.

There will always be exceptions and I'm not saying that 'genuine' relationships between Nigerian men and oyibo women don't exist, but they're not common enough to be creating conversations. 9/10 he's just using her for a visa or something and he's usually the one pursuing her lol


Everybody, clap for her. Post on point.

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 3:52pm On Apr 11, 2020
CinnamonTea:
Everybody, clap for her. Post on point.
Lool cheesy

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by chic2pimp(m): 5:04pm On Apr 11, 2020
ibkayee:

2nd gen black people of African/Carribean descent fall under the black British category and have more in common than a homebased guy, but for the sake of this topic I just wanted to differentiate them here as far at their dating/marriage patterns based on upbringing.

I hear that!. It makes a lot of sense now.

ibkayee:

Lol exactly, but homebased ones on here paint the narrative that this applies to all Nigerians, including the 'freshies'
LOOOL....Well we are all allowed to dream aren't we? cheesy

1 Like

Re: Reply To: Chai! Nigerian Girls In Canada Are So Lonely! by ibkayee(f): 5:07pm On Apr 11, 2020
chic2pimp:


I hear that!. It makes a lot of sense now.


LOOOL....Well we are all allowed to dream aren't we? cheesy
Lmao fam cheesy

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