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Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) - Jokes Etc (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 6:57pm On Feb 18, 2011
A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left. A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut, The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour only." The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Khan, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut but then he doesn't ever come back. "

A little while later, Khan returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Khan looked up, tears in his eyes and said,

"To your wife."
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 8:29pm On Feb 18, 2011
^^ nice joke up there bro i gbadun that joke
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 11:56am On Feb 19, 2011
Excellent jokes - truly classic cheesy wink
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by dani1luv: 12:08pm On Feb 19, 2011
excellente
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 1:11pm On Feb 19, 2011
Efe long time where have you been?
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 9:53pm On Feb 19, 2011
An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London ’s most expensive hotels. When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00.

She demanded to speak to the Manager.The Manager said "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."

'But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 9:57pm On Feb 19, 2011
. . .And she said,

Chris brown hit her, Eminem lied 2 her, Drake forgot her name. . .2face will soon get her pregnant. Who is she?

Rihanna tongue
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 12:40pm On Feb 20, 2011
To punish a man, don't take his money or riches just give him a bad wife and to finish a woman, take her mirror.
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by EfemenaXY: 12:47pm On Feb 20, 2011
^^ Wicked soul

why you wan take our mirror?? grin grin grin
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 3:45pm On Feb 20, 2011
hahaha Sledge thanks i'll seize her mirror tonight
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 7:37pm On Feb 20, 2011
Efemena_xy:

^^ Wicked soul

why you wan take our mirror?? grin grin grin
So that e nor go break

bashy_demy:

hahaha Sledge thanks i'll seize her mirror tonight
Good for taking the advice but when you have a black eye or marks on your body from uncontrollable slaps, "I nor dey house" wink
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 7:39pm On Feb 20, 2011
A wise man once told me that if you want to be wise, you need to follow the ways of the wise. . .Truth is I still can't find the man! angry
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 11:02pm On Feb 20, 2011
sledge406:

Good for taking the advice but when you have a black eye or marks on your body from uncontrollable slaps, "I nor dey house" wink
slap from who now?
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 12:32pm On Feb 21, 2011
Sledge is an Odi!
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 3:04pm On Feb 21, 2011
yes lysaa it take one to know one
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 3:17pm On Feb 21, 2011
Sharrap! U don't even know what i'm talking about, do ya?
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 3:42pm On Feb 21, 2011
bashy_demy:

slap from who now?
bashy_demy:

hahaha Sledge thanks i'll seize her mirror tonight

lysaa:

Sledge is an Odi!
And you're confused because you're an odi! (This is you acting up and letting spit flow uncontrollably tongue because you are!)  grin cheesy
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 4:15pm On Feb 21, 2011
Now u are a confirmed odi! LOL
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 4:56pm On Feb 21, 2011
@Bashy. . .look no further for the real description of odi. Go to google, click images and then type in odi. You'd see Lysaa's picture right from infant to present because she is a real definition of the word.

@Lysaa. . . tongue (you spitting uncontrollably) grin
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 5:04pm On Feb 21, 2011
If u're not enlightened about an odi, let ur guards down and ask me. .

its one of ur challenges but u're ignorant of 'the one'
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 5:25pm On Feb 21, 2011
Ask what I know or ask because you want me to ask? Anyway google has been insightful into revealing more about the word odi and you and how you relate to one another grin

Oya walk in front of me so I can see you shake your flat yansh cool
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 5:33pm On Feb 21, 2011
LOL sledge sledge, u could have passed for a real man if not for ur odi condition. lipsrsealed
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by eldav(m): 5:41pm On Feb 21, 2011
bloody hell!

sledge knws abt ur flat a.ss,lysaa?

pls go 4 butt enlargement.lol
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 5:49pm On Feb 21, 2011
U is one frat. . I won't sweat it. .kapish?
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by eldav(m): 5:52pm On Feb 21, 2011
stop d formings,u r one easy local girl.
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 6:03pm On Feb 21, 2011
I know u are, but what am i?
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 6:22pm On Feb 21, 2011
lysaa:

LOL sledge sledge, u could have passed for a real man if not for your odi condition. lipsrsealed

You this babe tongue housegirl! You'd do anything to make sure those your odi traits are claimed by me, innit? Heard all the odi(s) in your hood left cos you molested their life. What an odi lover you are with your small and flat yansh like N10 bread. grin
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by eldav(m): 6:29pm On Feb 21, 2011
lol.
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 6:46pm On Feb 21, 2011
sledge406:

You this babe tongue housegirl! You'd do anything to make sure those your odi traits are claimed by me, innit? Heard all the odi(s) in your hood left cos you molested their life. What an odi lover you are with your small and flat yansh like N10 bread. grin

Is there still N10 bread? LOL
Nah, just casting out that Odi spirit outta them. U know one of it's traits stubborness that alludes urs. LOL
Tell them in ur next union meetin that i mean well for y'all. Odi is not a good thing at all. .
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by sledge406: 10:43pm On Feb 21, 2011
lysaa:

Is there still N10 bread? LOL
No, but I have a vivid picture of what it used to look like and your yansh is not and never would be worth bigger than a N10 bread that's in existent grin

lysaa:

Nah, just casting out that Odi spirit outta them. U know one of it'sits traitstrait's stubborness that alludes urs. LOL
Tell them in your next union meetin that i mean well for us all. Odi is not a good thing at all. .
You this bloody odi r[i]ap[/i]ist![/i] See your lame excuse for being with your [i]odi kind. I hope you're brought to justice soon. BTW, I have no idea where the meeting takes place. Be sure to let me know and I'll drop your message that you're ready to f[i]uc[/i]k the odi clan/community once again. grin tongue
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by bashydemy(m): 4:41am On Feb 22, 2011
OMG Lysaa were you the only girl on NL? give me a break pls
Re: Relaxation spot! (change your frowns to smiles & laughters) by lysaa(f): 3:13pm On Feb 22, 2011
^^ Whats with u taking panadol for another with the headache? U need to learn to mind ur own biz for once. .i told u b4!

sledge406:

No, but I have a vivid picture of what it used to look like and your yansh is not and never would be worth bigger than a N10 bread that's in existent grin
You this bloody odi r[i]ap[/i]ist![/i] See your lame excuse for being with your [i]odi kind. I hope you're brought to justice soon. BTW, I have no idea where the meeting takes place. Be sure to let me know and I'll drop your message that you're ready to f[i]uc[/i]k the odi clan/community once again. grin tongue
I don't do dirty talks and can't stand one. .guess this is a good way to make me ignore u and its working But mind u, that doesn't wipe out the fact that u're an odi.

Thank u.

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