₦airaland Forum

gabbytabby:
Is not often that I get lost for words on what to say.

Man marries lady and years down the line she discovers that from the marriage certificate to current documentation her husband has consistently used a fake signature on anything he does with her different from his usual signature that he uses in his own passport, drivers licence, health or social insurance.


What do you make of this and does it make the marriage fake?


I initially did not believe it and asked to see marriage certificate and 2 other husband ID.

You are freaking out unnecessarily. Communicate and find out why he did this.

All my documents from pri school to uni is signed with a different signature than from my employment downwards. Probably going to be the same with marriage certificate. It wasn't conscious. I just changed it one day. Both are recognised and I sign the old one for my drivers licence and banks and the new one for my job and other documents.

Confront him and find out why he does it. A lot of people have become enemies through assumption.

MarvellousGod:
Go and ask the chief priest. ..


Meanwhile, why do guys get pot belly after wedding?

One word:
Good food

What many of these kids need is a good belting to reset thier brain. Thats all.

MissEse:
Kids are just adorable. I started the car with my youngest brother in it and went inside the house. It was story for the gods when I came out.

That was very dangerous.

My niece is always trying to grab the steering wheel while am driving. Her parents don't support spanking. (she's five).

One day she grabbed the steering while I wa driving alone with her and almost threw us into the Bush. I gave her knock of life on her head and warned her never to try it again. So far she hasn't repeated the act.

You got played man

Just know that you being the wife will one day be the mother-in-law.
That's life

EggovinMma:
Yes dear.Life is like that.I have had experiences like that.There are friends, no matter what you do for them, they take it but show little appreciation. Please I want to beg you to be careful. Such people can be deadly. Do you know the funny thing such can come from both sexes who claim to be an acquaintance. I have had very bad , near death experience from people like that.


I use to have this female friend back in school that visits, she will come in and take what she likes and leaves.I started having issues with her when she picks things that are quite expensive (gifts from my man) without letting me know.No matter what I give her, she says thank you but will still continue to eye other better things.One day i came into town and was unpacking some stuffs.She was bending down beside my mirror as we were discussing. As i was unpacking, It came to a point when the whole room was quiet and I became curious, still sitting down, the position I was, I could see her reflection through the mirror facing me.What I saw was the coldest look.She didn't know i was watching her.I didn't cut the relationship off then, one of the mistakes I later regretted.

One thing you should know is this, such people as long as you see them everyday can harm you if jealousy/back belle push them further. Some will rejoice when misfortune visits you. The only thing you can do is to pray or move out.I moved out of my hostel and picked a flat instead with my best friend.Be careful. Students sef dey give their fellow students poison.

Again, make sure you have your personal kitchen. It's preferable to live in self contained houses.When you buy new things, don't tell them how much you got it even if they aasked.In my case, when I bring in something new, I always have a problem back then offloading them in the public. What I do is to get home first and ask someone to bring it in . Through out that day, I won't even come out.Na their windows dem go stay dey peep.

There are those you tell you bought something for maybe 5k, they argue and insult you because they feel you are lying.The argument will linger on even when you decide to be quiet. They tell you it's fake, forcing you to accept that its irrelevant and a waste of money. Every little or big money you spend to make yourself comfortable in school to them it's a "Show off".

Hmmm
Woman things.
Guys don't roll like that

Kimoni:
This story was trending some months back. She was about 4/5 if my memory has not failed me.

i think she was three. I remember the story well. I felt so bad for the pastor, he was truly shocked when he saw the depth of evil thoughts that was generated through such a sweet innocent pix. He had to apologise in front of his congregation. I feel it was all a lot of hullabaloo over nothing. Like the same people who cried foul when Will smith's daughter snapped a pix of her self in a bed with a male family friend and everyone began to say it looked like they snapped the pix just after having sex. I love Jada Pinketts response to them. She bullsh1tted the media and made sure the guy returned to visit the girl (or was it vice versa) that week.

I referred to you in my previous post, if it were you what would you do?

i think we are over sensitizing our kids and destroying the trust of the family unit.

Chidoks:
yes she is his but he shouldn't be in the bathtub with her..he was not bathing her. for that is not how to bathe a child.
yes there is nothing wrong in having fun with yoyr child but i have an issue with being naked with a child.bucket naked? oh pleaseeee!
I'm not even of the opinion that he may harass her but what if in the process of having fun the daughter mistakenly touches somethings? she will know that that is not a regular body part.before you know she would start looking foward to the bath with the hope that the mistake occours again.from there she becomes aware of stuffs and may even mistakenly touch her other peoples own afterall it's okay to mistakenly touch daddy's own..kids are smart these days so have your fun fully clothed.let her climb from your head to toe but not naked..

Lol, very funny at looking forward to touch, at that age what does she know that she wants to look forward to touch. abeg this is social forum and people will always think the worst.

i rememebr this pic very well, the parents posted thier granddaddy and granddaughter in the bathtub together, I'm not even sure they were buck nakiid. If there was anything inapproporiate going on they wouldnt have posted it on social media. the world is full of too many gullible people abeg. So if i want to go swimming with my daughter I now have to be careful so she doesnt touch my thing and become magically attached to it? Or if I walk out of the bathroom butt nakiid I have to be careful so my three year old daughter who is still a toddler wont see my thing and start asking me questions? The same people saying this ius inappropriate will be the one to tell you not to hide anything sexual education from you child. If your child is not going to learn about sec from you who will she learn it from? Me I see nothing wrong with this pic as far as am sure its her grandfather or father in the pic, the generality of men are not monsters as some people will have us believe.

So kimoni will see this as inappropriate but with the same mind be bathing her three year old son and washing his thing, dont you think its inappropriate? Isnt it possible she might molest her son when no one is looking?

abeg there is nothing wrong with this pic. You folk should not raise your kids in fear. your kids should be able to trust family. If they cant then the problem is with that family and not society as a whole.

Kimoni:
That's the granddaughter if I remember correctly and it is so inappropriate. Allowing your daughter to get naked with any man at this age is very inappropriate.

At which age?

First of, its his daughter. The world isnt made up of pedophiles. The abnormal people actually make up the minority eve though everyday news would have us believe otherwise.

Second of all, its his daughter. Cant father and daughter have their fun bonding without outside people poking thier noses where it doesnt belong?

Third of all, Its his daughter! He bathed her when she was a baby and still obviously bathes her, she's not too big to share a bath with him.

Those who think it is inappropriate should kindly tell me if they were in the man's shoes wether they would molest thier daughter.

Chidoks:
thanks for this explaination.i'm loving you already! that was how one silly girl marketting orgango tea( or something like that) nearly put me into trouble with hubby.she took hid number to invite him for a workshop which she dif but after wards started sending suggestive texts as per the peformance of the tea as the tea is capable of doing stuffs to men and expressely suggested he tried her.i went mad .i wasn't as cool as you were.i confronted him before thinking.the guy brought the phone and we studied her words carefully till i just started apologising like a goat.sha that was my early days of snooping.now i'm a professional.i think thrice and view it from different angles before acting.BUT if he had deleted that text, it have caused us the stress.

Thatsall.

wisdomiskey:
yuh b man? diz one wey yuh
dey yarn ' yuh hubby'
u cum call am "she"

The tin tire me oh, bros.

Atlantian:
I fired my maid immediately my wife entered the plane. Now I have no maid, and I am at the mercy of the restaurant operators, but I prefer it to that seductive maid that wears miniskirts and sleeveless blouses. She is always like.."Boss, your food is on the table" and I said, okay and I put my head back to laptop and chat on nairaland. Five minutes later, she is still standing there smiling and when asked, why are you still here ? She says "Madam said I should always make sure you eat, so I am waiting for you until you come to the dining table" Jesus Christu! I wont lie, I had massive erections sometimes. I even gave her money to go and buy Mary Slessor kind of dresses. This girl went and bought more sophisticated micro mini skirts. If I didnt fire that girl, not even Jehovah would have stopped my raging dick. For men who think they can control themselves. It is not possible. I know what I saw. These maids are on a mission.

Choi
See loff

Toks2008:
Of-course we have decent guys who will never look the side of a maid for anything in the world but then the wife should let the maid's duty not bring her close to the hubby like cooking his meals, serving him, making the bed and stuffs like that. This is my point and i still wonder why some people her can't comprehend the message.

Because they are not reading the message. Thier own is 'here is an article written by a male, and since all males are oppressors let's show him we can't be oppressed. Let's do this by insulting him and throwing insults and attacking him personally.'
By so doing they get thier mandatory 'high' but they remain unlearned and immature. Most of them have no logical thought process whatsoever.

Toks2008:
Candy lets face it.

Its easy for us to sit in the comfort of our homes sipping wine and writing against child labor. If a parent comes to your house this moment and asks you for financial aid to take care of urgent needs will you have enough to give at least 10 of such? If yes i guess you should start an NGO and campaign against child labor as well as provide financial succor to these people.

An AIT staff just threatened suicide over hunger,salaries are been owed by many states and our ladies enslave themselves in order to get a job and you are here writing grammar about child labor.

You need to go to some families and see suffering in action so if a parent sees an option of sending their 15 to 17 year old girl child to be A HOUSE HELP to earn wages just like other jobs why write grammar here about child labor?

Its because we see the house maid thing as something low and disdainful that's why you see it as child labor so tell me which one is not labor?

I have met house maids that did the job to raise money for a specific purpose and i have sen a 17year old lady did this for a year and kept over 100k which she used to foster her education.

Please please enough of this grammar you are writing here. If you can't help them financially let them work and earna a living.

In your dreams mate

SexyStrawberry:
U know, I don't really care what they think of me here, when I see the truth, I would stand with it no matter what, most times I just read n stop myself from commenting cox its like when I comment, I see myself telling a 1yr old that there is chewing gum inside that stick of lollipop and she doubts and give me reasons why I don't know what I am saying or tell me that I am just blabbing. If u understand what I mean, that's how it is when u comment on Nairaland, that's y most times I stick to the fun sides of the forum. The ladies can say all they want, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, they can't shove their opinion down my throat just as I can't shove mine down their throats as well. OP, next time try to post things that aren't that serious, matured minds are not really much here. I am a woman, I had a mother who thought me to be a woman, we are 7 in my family, my mother never employed a house help, I have siblings who are twins, yet my mother never employed a house help, she did well in her family, and when it came to financial burden, my mother provided for her family more than my dad ever did, unfortunately I am not from a rich home, I am not ashamed to say it, not everyone are born lucky to come out from a wealthy family, werrin my papa been dey work sef? So my dear ladies who are saying I am blabbing till I get married, even if I am not married, I can learn from my mother how to be independent and hard working. Thank you.

GOD
BLESS
YOU

Nairaland family section has been overrun by rabble of the worst kind, frustrated immature and insecure people that would rather live in a hallucinatory utopia of thier own minds than face the harsh realities of life. I have since followed your path a long time ago and relegated myself to the fun section though I come back here from time to time. Anyone coming to family section to seek advice is just digging thier own grave, no succor lies here, only rancor, bitterness and the obnoxious jeers of immature, jealous and jobless folk. It is indeed a pity.

crackhaus:
Do you understand what correspondence means?

Any reasonable man who goes through a text/chat like the one you just described will know it's just a toaster coming on to you.

By correspondence, I mean that the woman involved is encouraging the flirtatious chats.
And BTW, a married woman should block the number of anyone she may have warned to keep off, and not leave the opportunity for such texts/chats in the first place...just saying.

Ok ,another example, I happened to chance upon my gf's phone messages one day (not something i do, I think reading other people's messages is very immature. I should note however that she doesnt feel the same way about my phone ) and in the course of it I saw a message addressed to her with "You know I'll always love you my darling."

I caught my breath and went through the rest of the conversation. It was neither here nor there but still there were some incriminating words. I saved the guy's number and looked him up through some apps,got his address and place of work etc. I stored the information and waited for her. When she came I cautiously confronted her with the information. She waved it off and said it was her sister who happened to be living with us at the time, that her sister had used her phone to text her boyfriend. I didnt totally accept it but decided to dig deeper. Lo and behold she was right. Her sister's boyfriend came to visit us a few days later and took the girl out. It was the same guy I had dug up his info. My gf doent know I searched him out though and I admonished her to delete such texts in the future.


1st moral of the story: Not all texts are what they seem. ITs better you delete troublesome texts to avoid unnecessary wahala or giving your gf or bf unnecessary bp.

2nd moral; Stop peeping into people's phone. You can give yourself unnecessary heartache when what you think is a flirtatious tryst is simply a misunderstanding or a stubborn or obnoxious but innocent friend.

My take.

crackhaus:
Do you understand what correspondence means?

Any reasonable man who goes through a text/chat like the one you just described will know it's just a toaster coming on to you.

By correspondence, I mean that the woman involved is encouraging the flirtatious chats.
And BTW, a married woman should block the number of anyone she may have warned to keep off, and not leave the opportunity for such texts/chats in the first place...just saying.

Sorry, I've been busy.

Its not as easy as you put it. Take for instance,
You are trying to gather clientelle for your company and this PRO of this multinational company is giving you all the green light at her disposal. You have tried on many occassions to let her see that you are happy in your relationship and not at all interested in her but she REFUSES to give up. She doesnt harass you per se but keep sending text messages filled with kissy smileys and xoxo and Honey, sweetheart, and other words of endearment.

Now I know your suggestion would be to block her but if done you stand a very real risk of losing that company and its imput into your organization runs into millions of naira. Even if you find a way to report to her boss, what if they overreact and fire her? Even if they suspend her sef your own guys will lookat you like a prude, like "na wa for you o, na only you spiro pass??" and then she gets a bad repon her file as being a sexual offender.

To me, I think the best thing to do is to ignore her. She has known her limits but uses those text messages to tell you she is still in the wings if ever you change your mind, but she isnt exactly harassing you either.

I repeat for the third time. I dont think its worth the trouble.

crackhaus:
The picture denotes a situation where there is evidence of correspondence between both people.

I still say it depends on the individual.
One may be in a position where one receives a lot of attention from the female gender. He can't go telling his spouse about every girl that comes on to him or sends him naughty texts. It's not necessary. That's the way I see it sha.

crackhaus:
I disagree.

It's actually true you know.

I've had two random chics send me very suggestive text messages this year. Unsolicited no matter what u might think. Should I keep showing them to my gf even when I have nothing to do with them apart from office friendliness? I think not.

It would only stir unnecessary trouble and give her bp for nothing.

wisdomiskey:
first i waz 5minsmadness
now im 3 female monikerZ
francistony d teenage sociopath. make yuh mind up!

i see yuh still viewin, perhapz yuh r monitorin who iz
getting more "likes"

And the madness continues.
I hoped in vain.

My neighbor went and fed his dogs a mixture of starch and draw soup and almost immediately two of the dogs vomited the concoction. The last dog, a female, tried to vomit but couldn't bring up anything. Now for the past three days the dog has been whining in pain and eats very little. Yesterday it lay in a corner very weak and refusing to move about with the others. It looks like it dying.

My neighbor feels terrible for what he has done since the dogs have been with him for a long time (3yrs minimum). He has never fed them starch before.

Pls can anything be done to save it?

SAMBARRY:
it is obvious you don't know what it is to be a mother to an infant
1.your feelings needs and desires become secondary and the baby's feelings needs and desires become primary

2.you have to wake up at intervals in the night to breast feed . You can't have a sound uninterrupted sleep and wake up whenever you feel like
3. You have to breast feed and nurse the baby almost 24hours then you also have to clean up yourself and struggle to get rid of all the accumulated blood clot and fats during pregnancy
4.you can't do whatever you feel like go wherever you feel like and eat whatever you feel like. It even affects your relationship with your friends and sometimes siblings
5.theres no how you will go through this FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE AND NOT BE MOODY OR temperamental depending on your endurance threshold
5. I know you can't do it for 2 weeks.i mean you can't be a mother for 2weeks without being grumpy talk more of being a mother for life . Your whole life body psyche priorities etc changes for life

so please shut up till you understand the sacrificial life of motherhood from pregnancy to death and be grateful your mum didn't do dnc on you for her own selfish desires whether in marriage or out of marriage

Ok.

@vouriotp
These are your female folk. Whatever they say, do.

Chidoks:
What you should know my friend is that forgiving is easy but the scar is always there.it may fade with time but if you heal naturally, the scar will gradually fade and trust is rebuilt.
pack and leave? mbanu!! biko i love him o.so much so so much.to the extent that i can give up treasures for him.i'm here because i love the guy like kilode! I check his phone to know the latest and he has improved!

Lol@improved!

Ok o, you have a point. No wahala.

bukatyne:
I am suddenly bitter because I ask you to nurse a babe and tell us your experience?

This must be the moment of your madness today.

I am sure If I came with 'men will be men' fast and pray bullshit, I will be sweet and a good 'Nigerian' wife.

God forbid I am 'sweet' and 'good' by your standards.

Abeg shift.

No you shift and it is you who are experiencing madness.

You said u r a nursing mom. Have u been denying him sex of recent? [size=18pt]Not that it justifies his action[/size] but most ladies tend to ignore thier men when nursing especially when it's thier first child. The man feels angry and neglected [size=20pt]but guilty as well since the reason for his neglect is his baby.[/size] So such men start to secretly look for affairs outside to meet thier sexuaI needs.

This is the post YOU quoted and immediately began your attack without understanding cos you thrive off gender wars.

Nurse a babe for 3mths and come back to tell us How attentive you were to the needs of other people.

This is your response. Like I dont know what its like nursing a baby, like how attentive will be to the needs of others, like its not her fault blah blah blah.


I was not in any way blaming the woman and I expressly said that the man's feelings would bring him GUILT cos he knows that the reason for the neglect is his own child i.e its not her fault. I WAS NOT IN ANY WAY BLAMING HER FOR THIS.

You area cheap LIAR for saying i support the "men will be men" and "fast and pray ideology" I have never used those phrases in any of my advices or posts. YOu and your sister only say things like that to paint men like me black and garner cheap points.

Again I ask, why are you always so bitter?

bukatyne:
Nurse a babe for 3mths and come back to tell us How attentive you were to the needs of other people.

what's your problem? Why are you always so bitter?

Chidoks:
you are on point but on the issue of trust:if the guy had erred before, dont you think the woman will constantly be drawn to the phone or is she not to wonder/ worry about what her husband does.
to me it's always good to check once in a while to know what he's up to.
love is about trust but once that trust is abused total healing and restoration is almost impossible

@bolded, that's totally up to you isn't it?

If the guy has erred before and you decided to forgive him then what are you doing snooping through his phone again? If you can't trust him ever again then why did you make up and get back together with him in the first place?

If you feel you can't'trust' him then its better you pack your bags and leave. Snooping through his phone to see if you will catch him, how long will you do that? A month? a year? ten years into your marriage?

Most people dont know what real love is.

If you love him and feel the need to continue monitoring him then you dont really love him, rather you chose to stay with him cos there is something else in him you are looking for or that has kept you.

freshvine:
Why is it always a fight of "sexist" on nairaland, can't we maintain some form of objectivity in our opinions?

Today its the husband dealing with his " follow come" bachelor issue tomorrow it might be her turn to display the worst of behavior. Remember the marriage is still at it infant stage.

Pray tell, is the OP an angel in human form that made you go all out demonizing the hubby?

My question on this board to you all is are your husbands angels?

You must be new to this section.

They wont stop until she decides to divorce him.
Just watch.

pickabeau1:
Yes and No

It tracks your heartrate, sleep patterns and much more in addition to being a step counter

Cost?

Chidoks:
sorry, i didn't get that.

It's not everything that happens to you that you tell your partner. Some things are irrelevant and will only stir the waters unnecessarily.

It can be also quite irritating for you to be following your spouse all over the place and monitoring his/her every call and text. It's a strong sign of insecurity and you'll most likely drive your spouse further from you rather than draw him or her closer.

Love should be about trust, not about monitoring spirits.

cococandy:
Lol. Try and find a way to blame her for it.

Have you denied him sex?
Are you neglecting him?

Why not quote me directly?
I'm not blaming her for it.
I expressly said it's not an excuse.
I even asked if he was the one doing the neglecting

I'm trying to get to the root of the problem and since her husband isn't here it's only her I can address.