You have a deep understanding of the situation at hand.
For certain complex reasons, it's very very difficult for single mothers to stay without sex for long and easily give out sex generously because;
1) They have been having sex over time and it's naturally difficult to stop. 2) They don't have fixed partners and they must have sex, so they easily agree for guys that approach them. 3) Most are always broke because their baby daddies always abandon them to carry the responsibilities for the kids alone. This make them to look for guys that can sleep with them and give them money or take care of them and their children.
4) It's not happy State. They too want somebody to love them. They need someone to kiss them, carry and pet them.
One lady,whose husband traveled out just after two years of marriage and abandoned her in Nigeria once told me that she has thrown her wedding rings away and that she sometimes cried alot many nights, alone with a little son in their flat, out of loneliness and frustrations. After some years, she couldn't be paying for the flat, she just packed her things and moved back to her mother's house.
Things became so bad that she started reaching out to her Ex-lovers (like me) for companionship , financial assistance and of course, sexual fulfilment!
She became very unhappy when after some years, someone met her husband abroad and call her that 'guy man' has already moved on with his life and living with another woman. She once begged me to connect her with a responsible man that can re-marry her.
Eulalia: I'm sure the reason youre busy singing the "I love her" anthem is because she has opened her legs for you too. Imagine a woman who after two kids from different men is still unrepentantly opening her legs for a third man? Just know you won't be the last cos to such people, " nothing dey there" is always their mentality. That is why its easy to open and close at will.
You have a deep understanding of the situation at hand.
For certain complex reasons, it's very very difficult for single mothers to stay without sex for long and easily give out sex generously because;
1) They have been having sex over time and it's naturally difficult to stop. 2) They don't have fixed partners and they must have sex, so they easily agree for guys that approach them. 3) Most are always broke because their baby daddies always abandon them to carry the responsibilities for the kids alone. This make them to look for guys that can sleep with them and give them money or take care of them and their children.
4) It's not happy State. They too want somebody to love them. They need someone to kiss them, carry and pet them.
One lady,whose husband traveled out just after two years of marriage and abandoned her in Nigeria once told me that she has thrown her wedding rings away and that she sometimes cried alot many nights, alone with a little son in their flat, out of loneliness and frustrations. After some years, she couldn't be paying for the flat, she just packed her things and moved back to her mother's house.
Things became so bad that she started reaching out to her Ex-lovers (like me) for companionship , financial assistance and of course, sexual fulfilment!
She became very unhappy when after some years, someone met her husband abroad and call her that 'guy man' has already moved on with his life and living with another woman. She once begged me to connect her with a responsible man that can re-marry her.
uromii: Actually lost my husband who traveled to Finland since 2016 , I have not heard from him since then. some people said he was implicated in a crime, its so complicated. please help me if you can. Acess 0807 344 826. I have to use my son's acct no, because mine have not been functional for long. God bless you
Ur mom just told u the truth they always hide ??/ women have this internal hate for men which I believe stems from being treated as women by d society and a society where it feels women aren't equal but the society has changed now so they shouldn't be bearing so much inborn hatred for men! They mask it a lot but in their little rooms they wished they were men and in deir next life they wish they would come to d world as men, they won't tell u this cos is painful to admit it that they prefer to be men than women but being a woman isn't a bad thing, to all d women out there don't ever doubt that u re valuable and can change the world!
I wrote this, this week.
My experience with women in d professional setting has made me believe women hate (not dislike) men. Together with some experiences I can't disclose here.
paul100: Never trust that kind of woman.For her to have two children with two different men wtf,who does that? It means she must have slept with more guys. Sorry to say this,that your girl can never been loyal.She will not be able to control her sexual urges.Think of what happens if you are not around maybe you travel or something like that.
Modified:Yes,people change from bad to good and it is not good to judge people from their pasts.But we all know that this OP will find it hard to trust this girl.He will like to go through her Facebook,WhatsApp etc.He will always suspect something if he heard her laughing while making call with a guy. It is the OP life.It just stated my opinion.ABEG MAKE NOBODY MENTION ME AGAIN,IT'S GETTING TOO MUCH
u have spoken well my fellow chief,may the gods of our land continue to increase u in wisdom..and before I forget let them serve u a plate of dog meat
If you are here to seek advice, I'll assure you that you'd end up more confused than you actually came, but one thing I can tell you is this, every advice you get her will come out from people's own opinions, but itts your happiness that matters in the end.
I think life is much more complex that this, and we are all unimportant , our time is only but short, if you love her and she loves you and you can live a happy fulfilled life with her, then don't hold back, this is what makes us African much more different from he whites, we seek for opinion of others to live our lives instead of going for what we wants.
People marry virgins and end up having terrible marriages, others marry single moms and still end up in bad marriage, likewise the other way round. So baba,.. Do what thou wilt, that's the only law of life.
Me won't even continue the love again, girls plenry..me and virgins na 5 and 6,.. Ask what occasioned the situations she found herself in, if you're cool with it, and would never use that against her whether in words or actions later in future when you have misunderstanding, fine, if not let her be and look elsewhere. There are many that would accept her for who she's than put her to ridicule later in future, so make the right call.
PS573: I'm in a relationship with a lady I love so much, she's so loving, caring and kind to me and after some months I asked her (Can you marry me?) She replied yes and she asked are you sure you can marry me? I replied YEs.
After Two weeks time she came to my house sadly, I asked what's wrong with her? She asked me again' are you sure you can marry me and I replied YES and YES, she said OK!
She opened up to me after some months, that she have "Tow kids from Two different men".... I felt so bad,speechless and confuse for a while, I just closed the conversation that day but till now I'm still confuse because I loved her before she opened up to me.
Please I need your advice what to do because I'm confuse and scared right now.
PS573: I'm in a relationship with a lady I love so much, she's so loving, caring and kind to me and after some months I asked her (Can you marry me?) She replied yes and she asked are you sure you can marry me? I replied YEs.
After Two weeks time she came to my house sadly, I asked what's wrong with her? She asked me again' are you sure you can marry me and I replied YES and YES, she said OK!
She opened up to me after some months, that she have "Tow kids from Two different men".... I felt so bad,speechless and confuse for a while, I just closed the conversation that day but till now I'm still confuse because I loved her before she opened up to me.
Please I need your advice what to do because I'm confuse and scared right now.
I appreciate all comments
Hmmmm, life has its ups and down. Perharps she's one of such ladies that, cannot bring themselves to the point of having an abortion. Abortion is bad in all ramifications don't get me wrong.
I'd advise you face the issue at hand. Ask her more questions about the fathers of those kids? How the first child came about and what happened that she and the father of the first child, didn't get married or took things seriously?
And also, why did she allow herself to get pregnant again with a second child from another man out of wedlock? Like wasn't the first blow enough?
When you've asked her this, be mindful to look her in the eyes to be certain she's being honest with you.
And if after talking, based on whatever she tells you, you need to ask yourself if you're ready to fully accept or adopt another man's child? By adopting I don't mean just allowing the kids to stay under your roof.
But you being good, nice, and loving to them like they are related to you. Remember children don't forget the good or bad things being done to them. I bet you wouldn't want to leave this world someday knowing you offended a set of innocent kids that weren't your blood?
If you know you cannot cope with the kids being under your roof. Then keep the in love feeling aside for now, and be realistic. Am saying you should keep the in love feeling aside cos love tends to fade away after a while. It's other core values about your partner that would keep the relationship or Marriage going on the long run.
She kept the pregnancies because she didn't want to be a murderer. That doesn't mean she should be judged or not deserve something or someone better? Does it??
paul100: Never trust that kind of woman.For her to have two children with two different men wtf,who does that? It means she must have slept with more guys. Sorry to say this,that your girl can never been loyal.She will not be able to control her sexual urges.Think of what happens if you are not around maybe you travel or something like that.
Modified:Yes,people change from bad to good and it is not good to judge people from their pasts.But we all know that this OP will find it hard to trust this girl.He will like to go through her Facebook,WhatsApp etc.He will always suspect something if he heard her laughing while making call with a guy. It is the OP life.It just stated my opinion.ABEG MAKE NOBODY MENTION ME AGAIN,IT'S GETTING TOO MUCH
I was actually waiting to see something sensible as this. God bless you Man. thanks for telling the Idiots that commented before you that she didn't do him a favour.
NIGERIANS are so used to bad things, drunk in EVIL that when someone does the right thing, he/she gets accolade for doing the right thing.
she's that good and she had to wait till marriage proposal to tell him d truth. hear her; are u sure u will marry me? knowing fully well she isn't very clean, she decided to make him swear allegiance before revealing the truth. holding him to ransom emotionally. she's just looking for pity Expecting to be considered out of pity. at least she told you d truth na
women and emotional black mail abi trying to hold someone to ransom emotionally and at the end they will always blame men. just like a woman demanding for favour when d guy is almost closed to penetrating during sex and if he says yes and doesn't fulfill it, she will cry d guy used her.
boys like me Sha, thank God no serious relationship only friends with benefits and flirting
Lol at the bolded, why are you been thankful for not having a serious relationship?
I agree with some of the things you wrote but "why did she wait for marriage proposal" that is a part of her life that brings regret. You dont expect to tell everyone of some things until you have gained their trust. Some people will act like you will always have their back but when the chips are down the story changes. It is not that easy to say things. Have you ever met any girl that will tell you she aborted just like that? But these are same girls getting married every week and that part is between them and God.
I don’t mean she go telling people about herself but it should happen when before the go into a romantic relationship. The two children are her children, it should be among the first things the man should know before relationship kicks in. The necessity of two men could come later like when the said guy wanna know more. The tactics this lady is sort of using is to make the guy fall into love then tell him so that he can blindly overlook it.
Well that she said the truth is a ploy to get pity and sympathy from u and in d process u lose control and get emotional and leave ur sense of judgement for pity! If she was really forth coming with d truth she wouldav said it to u long before u both started getting serious, she has seen ur weakness and made sure that u loved her to a fault b4 bringing out her olosho past! Mr. Man do urslf a favour and dump that girl and get urslf a good woman u like that isn't married, save urslf all d drama of single mothers, this girl is trying to press ur mumu button and she's trying to play smart but she has fish brains and u should tell her and show her that, u re too young to get into a Ist marriage with this nuisance, ur kids deserve to grow up in their own homes without having to fight with step sons and daughters, save ur kids drama, don't let love kill u and turn u into a shadow of urslf! This woman don't love u, she's using u to take care of herself and kids monetarily! Av u ever asked urslf y the two men that she had this kids with y they are not taking care of her?? Or y she hasnt gone to dem? Mr. Man Ubunja has talked about this many times of how women use men to meet their financial needs when they need sex they go 4 d bad boys, she was promiscious during her young age given her best self to those two men and all of a sudden wants to sell her rotten body to u, she should stay on her own after all there re many self made independent single mothers like her all over d world, her's isnt any different! Don't fall 4 this cheap scam done by Nigerian girls and their counterparts in Europe and north America, she's trying to scam u and make u feel pity for her, if u want t knw how she really feels abt u, tell her u aren't marrying her again, watch her closely and u will see all of a sudden she would continue her olosho business and get another guy to marry her and this tym she wont make d mistake of telling the man she's a single mom! Don't fall for that lie that she's a good woman that's y she told u the truth, that's what she hoped to achieve by telling u d truth, to see her as pure and mean well for u whereas she's just a cold blooded psychological manipulator, she's psychologically manipulating u and this time with Sex and Self pity and sympathy, ! Don't fall in love with her caring or any nonsense she's doing, she has done it b4 with those other men, so she's already a pro in those areas, u can't compete with single moms that has tasted dicks all over cos they've been there, they've done that, she should take care of the kids she born, after all nobody forced her to open her legs and not to use condom if she wasn't ready to be a mom!
well said but there is the slight bending on the angle of not having anything to do with single mother. One angle is that she didn’t go on the abortion spree and she did a responsible thing of having the child. So what is the bias here? That she should have aborted too? It is not our headache?
There is a lot of gray areas about single mother but if I would advise any man venturing there, I would advise he go with a single mother who is independent, meaning before his arrival the independent mother is doing so fine by herself and her wanting to fall in love is not a ploy to find someone to overtake her responsibility.
At the end of the day nobody holy pass.
For this specific case though Op should jump and pass if there is nothing the said lady can offer him. Because I feel the lady wan use emotional tactics on him.
eneazi: A man reached out to me via email three days ago. He has been married to his wife for 10years now. He got to discover a month ago that the wife's supposed younger sister who has been leaving with them for five years now (the girl is 20) is actually his wife's child she hid this fact from him for the past ten years and he got to know about this from an old friend 9f his wife.(though he is yet to confront her) My point is for the fact this girl of yours is honest enough to come clean that should count. She knew what was at stake, she would have hid the truth from you and trust me you wont even know. She was ready to risk everything you share now to avoid problems in future. HONESTY is hard to come by these days.
how can she hide 2 kids and 2 fathers from the man , he would still know in the shortest time please
Well that she said the truth is a ploy to get pity and sympathy from u and in d process u lose control and get emotional and leave ur sense of judgement for pity! If she was really forth coming with d truth she wouldav said it to u long before u both started getting serious, she has seen ur weakness and made sure that u loved her to a fault b4 bringing out her olosho past! Mr. Man do urslf a favour and dump that girl and get urslf a good woman u like that isn't married, save urslf all d drama of single mothers, this girl is trying to press ur mumu button and she's trying to play smart but she has fish brains and u should tell her and show her that, u re too young to get into a Ist marriage with this nuisance, ur kids deserve to grow up in their own homes without having to fight with step sons and daughters, save ur kids drama, don't let love kill u and turn u into a shadow of urslf! This woman don't love u, she's using u to take care of herself and kids monetarily! Av u ever asked urslf y the two men that she had this kids with y they are not taking care of her?? Or y she hasnt gone to dem? Mr. Man Ubunja has talked about this many times of how women use men to meet their financial needs when they need sex they go 4 d bad boys, she was promiscious during her young age given her best self to those two men and all of a sudden wants to sell her rotten body to u, she should stay on her own after all there re many self made independent single mothers like her all over d world, her's isnt any different! Don't fall 4 this cheap scam done by Nigerian girls and their counterparts in Europe and north America, she's trying to scam u and make u feel pity for her, if u want t knw how she really feels abt u, tell her u aren't marrying her again, watch her closely and u will see all of a sudden she would continue her olosho business and get another guy to marry her and this tym she wont make d mistake of telling the man she's a single mom! Don't fall for that lie that she's a good woman that's y she told u the truth, that's what she hoped to achieve by telling u d truth, to see her as pure and mean well for u whereas she's just a cold blooded psychological manipulator, she's psychologically manipulating u and this time with Sex and Self pity and sympathy, ! Don't fall in love with her caring or any nonsense she's doing, she has done it b4 with those other men, so she's already a pro in those areas, u can't compete with single moms that has tasted dicks all over cos they've been there, they've done that, she should take care of the kids she born, after all nobody forced her to open her legs and not to use condom if she wasn't ready to be a mom!
Despite UBUNJA lesson , women still dey use his head.
SweetCunt97: If your love ain't strong enough to come to terms with her situation, kindly let her be. Two kids and it didn't show on her body? Impressive.
bro all these daughters of Jezebel eh! Person gats take precautions
you better learn how the game works. You can't hide from the truth forever. Someday you will face it. Good ones are everywhere. But nothing good comes easy. Only the wise ones would know what is good.
