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What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. - Romance - Nairaland

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What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by MagnumXL(m): 6:24am On Oct 16
Hindsight they say is 20/20.

Whenever we have a breakup especially one where we are left hurt and broken, we sometimes look back and try to see where we missed a sign that could have told us that this was coming.

And there are usually signs and more often than we'd like to admit, we see them but we ignore them. When we look back at relationship with the rose-colored lenses off, we start seeing the signs that we should have bailed.

So what are the signs that you saw in your previous relationship that should have told you that this thing cannot last again and will soon end.

I'll go first.

I once dated this girl that slept with her ex few days before travelling down to see me.
How should I have known she was problematic?

She cut the call on me whenever we were having a disagreement over the phone.

Why is this a bad sign?

Any girl that cuts the call on you doesn't have respect for you.
She is naturally disrespectful.

She is also not emotionally intelligent. There are ways to say that you cannot continue with the conversation anymore. There are ways to say that you need a breather. A girl that cuts the call on you is not emotionally matured and that immaturity always results in some relationship (could even be just a friendship disaster along the way).

== == == == ==

Ladies I also want to hear from you.

What signs did you see during the relationship that told you the guy was no good, that you wish you had listened to then?

6 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Kingscee: 6:34am On Oct 16
Face your book

3 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Nobody: 6:38am On Oct 16
Abeg make I pin this thread

2 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by paulolee(m): 6:48am On Oct 16
she always calling and chatting with "her uncle' each evening and I CNT complain because it was an early relationship, it moved to when she started visiting the uncle and spend weekends unlike before..
was finally freed from her shackles when she returned from d visit one weekend and I visited uninvited and saw dt she had slept off when chatting..
I jus took d phone, sat down with a chilled botlle water in her fridge and went tru all her chats n realized I was dating a classic runs gel..
when I was done, I dropped d phone n left a breakup note on her table and blocked her number, she visited to apologize BT my mind was made up, almost took her bk for jus nacks n no feelings attached bcoz her she gat a sweet nunu, mad skills n entering dt nunu from d back door do gv me my best doggy ever bcoz of her nice ass BT as a proud member or #teamraw, I don't want to end up with h.I.v...
av really missed you kelisha...

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by gaius01(m): 6:59am On Oct 16
Arrrrrrrh


I was dating this girl then, she due chat,call her ex I was a bit cool with it. The only reason I was cool with it was because I don't want to show am over Jeolous. Last last she posted the guy pix on line, that left me with no reason than to calm for a break up. There many things that spur the break, this was one of it. How on earth did I over look that, and boom she did the unimaginable. grin girls eh, just use your head when you are sensing reg flag and if it insist my guy cut tail with her and avoid your self unnecessary anger .

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Vyzz: 7:46am On Oct 16
What of us that haven't broken up with someone nor dated?



Should we pretend as if we have dated and write our own

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by MagnumXL(m): 2:03am On Oct 17
gaius01:
Arrrrrrrh


I was dating this girl then, she due chat,call her ex I was a bit cool with it. The only reason I was cool with it was because I don't want to show am over Jeolous. Last last she posted the guy pix on line, that left me with no reason than to calm for a break up. There many things that spur the break, this was one of it. How on earth did I over look that, and boom she did the unimaginable. grin girls eh, just use your head when you are sensing reg flag and if it insist my guy cut tail with her and avoid your self unnecessary anger .

That is how it always is,

They will try to convince you that there is nothing wrong in contacting your exes.

They will try to make you feel insecure when you mention it to them but eventually they will knack that ex and form apology.

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by anochuko01(f): 6:01am On Oct 17
I believe it's just courtesy to ask somebody to "come and eat", she never does that.

Gets angry and acts cold when corrected.

Always say she can't kneel down for her hubby.

She's always saying she doesn't share her food.

She makes no effort in understanding my job.

Never spent a dime for me.



Verdict: though she's loyal because of her background as a pastors child, she's also arrogant and selfish. My mind's made up anyways, na just natter of time.

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by gaius01(m): 6:21am On Oct 17
MagnumXL:


That is how it always is,

They will try to convince you that there is nothing wrong in contacting your exes.

They will try to make you feel insecure when you mention it to them but eventually they will knack that ex and form apology.

That is why I don't smile when a girl talk to her more than normal. I will just tell her to choose me or him if she's confuse I will just skip her. Life goes on!!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by N2B2: 6:21am On Oct 17
Where do I start? My mumu was too much.

1.) She argued hotly that there was nothing wrong "hanging out" with her many male friends, even if it's in their houses.

2.) She once asked me for permission to sleep with another dude.

3.) When her ex broke up with her, he warned me that she wasn't to be trusted.

She ended up cheating on me with more people than I could count. After wasting 7 years with her, I learned that the key to exiting toxic relationships is to love yourself and remember your worth, else you're finished! angry

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Kehinde2017: 6:58am On Oct 17
My girlfriend broke up with me indirectly and I was wondering how could I have not seen the red flags coming. I had sincere and deep feelings for her. I didn't even intend to sleep with her despite the huge pressure from her. Just wanted the best for her.
1. I noticed from the beginning, it just couldn't work, she couldn't make a positive contribution whenever we are talking, she expects me to do all of the talking while she just answers yes or no. Totally boring
2. She gets tense whenever she gets corrected and talks out of proportion. I expect you to talk to me in a constructive way even when there are arguments.
3. Hangs up the phone when the conversation becomes tense
The love I had for her made me think with time, she would change, improve and see the good in what I'm telling her but at last she just wasn't up to my level. I later figured out a week later, she got another boyfriend, a yahoo guy to be precise.
Girls just simply want those that'll flaunt them and buy material things for them. They don't want those that'll improve them and want a better future for them at all. It is well. We move...

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Agbebakun22(m): 7:18am On Oct 17
N2B2:
Where do I start? My mumu was too much.

1.) She argued hotly that there was nothing wrong "hanging out" with her many male friends, even if it's in their houses.

2.) She once asked me for permission to sleep with another dude.

3.) When her ex broke up with her, he warned me that she wasn't to be trusted.

She ended up cheating on me with more people than I could count. After wasting 7 years with her, I learned that the key to exiting toxic relationships is to love yourself and remember your worth, else you're finished! angry



I prefer to fear women than devil i'm currently facing one shit like this now.... Some girls are the one turn some guy's to beasts.... Fear women

7 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by czarr(m): 7:42am On Oct 17
Women just want the social status that comes with having a boyfriend, but not the loyalty and restrictions that comes with it.

women are backwards and sneaky....a woman wouldn't want to cheat on you if she can't derive the taboo pleasure that comes with sneaky behaviour, that's why they prefer to sleep with your brother or best friend. avoid women that love male attention.

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by tobechi20(m): 8:25am On Oct 17
Sad
Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by LolaO(f): 8:53am On Oct 17
They were plenty. I was so foolish, up till 3 months to my wedding, when I finally saw it.

1. Too ‘busy’ to show up at important events in my life - graduation, family dinners etc.
2. Delay in committing
3. No communication with me when he is upset or sad. Sometimes as long as 6 months-1 year
4. No visits all through the year until December (long-distance relationship, I’m in Lagos, he works in the East)

He came back suddenly after one of his long breaks and proposed and I was foolish to accept.
We had the introduction immediately early in the year but wedding was fixed for November. He wanted the wedding asap as well but my dad refused.

His lies finally came to light 2 months to the wedding, sometimes in October and it all made sense why those red flags were there.
He has someone else in Asaba and wanted to marry me to settle debts smiley

I called off the wedding and I’m glad I did.

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Omotakins(m): 1:31pm On Oct 17
LolaO:
They were plenty. I was so foolish, up till 3 months to my wedding, when I finally saw it.

1. Too ‘busy’ to show up at important events in my life - graduation, family dinners etc.
2. Delay in committing
3. No communication with me when he is upset or sad. Sometimes as long as 6 months-1 year
4. No visits all through the year until December (long-distance relationship, I’m in Lagos, he works in the East)

He came back suddenly after one of his long breaks and proposed and I was foolish to accept.
We had the introduction immediately early in the year but wedding was fixed for November. He wanted the wedding asap as well but my dad refused.

His lies finally came to light 2 months to the wedding, sometimes in October and it all made sense why those red flags were there.
He has someone else in Asaba and wanted to marry me to settle debts smiley

I called off the wedding and I’m glad I did.
marry you to defray debt?! I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Can you say more on that?

7 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Jeromejnr(m): 2:27pm On Oct 17
N2B2:
Where do I start? My mumu was too much.

1.) She argued hotly that there was nothing wrong "hanging out" with her many male friends, even if it's in their houses.

2.) She once asked me for permission to sleep with another dude.

3.) When her ex broke up with her, he warned me that she wasn't to be trusted.

She ended up cheating on me with more people than I could count. After wasting 7 years with her, I learned that the key to exiting toxic relationships is to love yourself and remember your worth, else you're finished! angry

I need more info on number 2.
Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Blackmoran(m): 2:48pm On Oct 17
me I dated a girl that was so needy, then I through it was cool cause is so rare to meet their type.... every seconds this girl will bombard me with calls, if she see me with other girls she will turn it into a war...
the deal breaker was the day I came home late I don't know how this girl got my boss number and called him and complained that I don't give her much attention... that night I decided am done, the next morning I woke up with a suicide letter on my bed, I ran to the parlour this babe was piercing her self with a needle, I have to console her I waited till weekend when I know she will go on a visit, I parked all her stuff out of my house and I change the locks to my door.. that was the end of her.. later after some month I discover this babe was suffering from a disorder BPD meaning bipolar personal disorder.. thank God for my life

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by tobechi20(m): 2:52pm On Oct 17
Omotakins:
marry you to defray debt?! I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Can you say more on that?
she is from a wealthy family

2 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by luscioustrish(f): 3:01pm On Oct 17
Red flags
.
Naked pictures of girls
.
Messages on FB, Snapchat, Insta message on hookups.
.
Denied having anything to with me because of knacks.
.
I stylishly called off the wedding preparations when some of the girls including exes started calling and sending me messages.
.
Movement.

5 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Nobody: 3:08pm On Oct 17
I'm picking up on the red flags right now.

1. He says he will do something as small as calling me back and he doesn't.

2. He says he will never disrespect because I'm different and then does number 1. Also this implies he is a disrespectful person and he will choose to be respectful to me. You either respect people or you don't. You don't pick and choose who you will respect and who you will disrespect. Respect is a state of being and not doing.

3. He won't take no for an answer because I'm not interested due to 1 & 2 and he won't leave me alone. I ignore his calls and he keeps calling. I turn down his dates and he won't stop asking. I have shouted at him to get the message that I am not interested but he says he loves my voice and he wants to hear it for the rest of his life.
I have blocked his number and he uses another number to call me. He either has zero self respect or he is a sociopath either way I won't be his victim. What a psycho.

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Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by davidhobo: 3:24pm On Oct 17
Laughandie:
I'm picking up on the red flags right now.

1. He says he will do something as small as calling me back and he doesn't.

2. He says he will never disrespect because I'm different and then does number 1. Also this implies he is a disrespectful person and he will choose to be respectful to me. You either respect people or you don't. You don't pick and choose who you will respect and who you will disrespect. Respect is a state of being and not doing.

3. He won't take no for an answer because I'm not interested due to 1 & 2 and he won't leave me alone. I ignore his calls and he keeps calling. I turn down his dates and he won't stop asking. I have shouted at him to get the message that I am not interested but he says he loves my voice and he wants to hear it for the rest of his life.
I have blocked his number and he uses another number to call me. He either has zero self respect or he is a sociopath either way I won't be his victim. What a psycho.

Is he your boyfriend or toaster, haaanty

6 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Nobody: 3:27pm On Oct 17
davidhobo:


Is he your boyfriend or toaster, haaanty

What do you think, huncle?
Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Cladez(m): 3:47pm On Oct 17
Blackmoran:
me I dated a girl that was so needy, then I through it was cool cause is so rare to meet their type.... every seconds this girl will bombard me with calls, if she see me with other girls she will turn it into a war...
the deal breaker was the day I came home late I don't know how this girl got my boss number and called him and complained that I don't give her much attention... that night I decided am done, the next morning I woke up with a suicide letter on my bed, I ran to the parlour this babe was piercing her self with a needle, I have to console her I waited till weekend when I know she will go on a visit, I parked all her stuff out of my house and I change the locks to my door.. that was the end of her.. later after some month I discover this babe was suffering from a disorder BPD meaning bipolar personal disorder.. thank God for my life

I think you meant to say borderline personality disorder (BPD)

Bipolar disorder is different though.


Thank goodness you saw the signs.

5 Likes

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Powerfly(f): 4:53pm On Oct 17
Fake life, lies and being overly materialistic and ever- demanding but never
willing to give made me give up on her, but she was a badass in
bed. after sex, we can't even hold a decent, intelligent
conversation, aside the latest hair-do, sneakers, make-up and parties. I just realised that we weren't
compartible on any
level.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Abiababe(f): 6:15pm On Oct 17
Very Controlling, Abusive. sobs
Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Blackmoran(m): 6:34pm On Oct 17
Cladez:

I think you meant to say borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Bipolar disorder is different though.

Thank goodness you saw the signs.
thanks for the correction...

1 Like

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Martinez39s(m): 6:59pm On Oct 17
N2B2:
Where do I start? My mumu was too much.

1.) She argued hotly that there was nothing wrong "hanging out" with her many male friends, even if it's in their houses.

2.) SHE ONCE ASKED ME FOR PERMISSION TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER DUDE.

3.) When her ex broke up with her, he warned me that she wasn't to be trusted.

She ended up cheating on me with more people than I could count. After wasting 7 years with her, I learned that the key to exiting toxic relationships is to love yourself and remember your worth, else you're finished! angry
shocked How we go take reason this matter?

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by loswhite(m): 7:11pm On Oct 17
Powerfly:
Fake life, lies and being overly materialistic and ever- demanding but never
willing to give made me give up on her, but she was a badass in
bed. after sex, we can't even hold a decent, intelligent
conversation, aside the latest hair-do, sneakers, make-up and parties. I just realised that we weren't
compartible on any
level.
you be lesbian?

1 Like

Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Omotakins(m): 7:26pm On Oct 17
tobechi20:
she is from a wealthy family
oooooh......
Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Powerfly(f): 7:31pm On Oct 17
loswhite:
you be lesbian?
you don talk am. E shock u?
Re: What Are The Red Flags You Regret You Ignored In Your Relationship. by Chidexthebest: 8:33pm On Oct 17
N2B2:
Where do I start? My mumu was too much.

1.) She argued hotly that there was nothing wrong "hanging out" with her many male friends, even if it's in their houses.

2.) She once asked me for permission to sleep with another dude.

3.) When her ex broke up with her, he warned me that she wasn't to be trusted.

She ended up cheating on me with more people than I could count. After wasting 7 years with her, I learned that the key to exiting toxic relationships is to love yourself and remember your worth, else you're finished! angry

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