thesicilian:
Sorry for your predicament. But a man does not just suddenly wake up and run away with 3 children to the UK because of the regular "shares of ups and downs in marriage". And how was he even able to process his and the kids travel documents without you knowing?
Start the story from the beginning.

No mind am. She wan dey wine us. A woman will only say and accuse how her husband is a drunk, a cheat bla bla bla...

If u research deep down na, u go see say na the woman don dey cheat before the man discover o.

Jaqenhghar:

If he was really a master planner he will know that the UK is the last place he should go. Let him pray that she never sets foot there or he will be in deep shìt.

Nonsense.

Go and get the children for her.

OP you are not telling us the whole truth. For a man to abscond with his kids without informing you tells a lot. I am sure you weren't receiving another man's cassava and when your husband found out he deviced a master plan to leave you without fighting? Women are something else ooo. I dey wait to hear your James Bond husband's side of the story.

AltCtrlDel:
I'm a man but men are scum


You guys should stop criticising the OP. Be sensitive and consider her mental health.

If y'all can't render any meaningful advice or directions then read and move on

I'm a woman. Men are not scum.
The man is tired.

Thank God he didn't kill himself

AltCtrlDel:
I'm a man but men are scum


You guys should stop criticising the OP. Be sensitive and consider her mental health.

If y'all can't render any meaningful advice or directions then read and move on

Na the man wey run for im dear life na im no get mental health abi?

make @op start the story from the begining!

mental health ko...mental health ni!

PedroEastman:
Let me tell you my life story, last year I was on my 6 months IT in Warri refinery where my Dad is a staff, my mom died when I was 6 and I have 3 younger siblings (step brother and sisters but you won’t notice because of the love we have for each other) . But unfortunately there mom and my Dad had to part ways because she couldn’t leave her business in port harcourt to base in Warri when my Dad was transferred there. So since my younger ones were still tender my Dad remarried a Warri woman but before the marriage she was nice and supportive but the moment she was married she started acting up and misbehaving. My Dad gave her a check of 1million in my presence to open a business close to the house and stock it very well but instead she opened a beer parlor after assuring my Dad she will open a provision shop and stock it like a mini supermarket. Fast forward to 4 years and she was still into the beer business and she closes late like 10pm after leaving home in the morning by 8 after my Dad leaves with me for IT by 7am but my Dad closes by 12 just to come hope and cook for my siblings because according to my step mom she was too busy with her business to cook. I kept wondering why my Dad is patiently cooking and not complaining about her considering the fact that he is hot tempered .


I never knew my Dad has a plan already coincidentally his retirement and my end of IT was in same month.

After I completed my IT my Dad retired but kept mute and she didn’t know he had retired and he even cooks and drive to her beer parlor to give her where she will be sitting and laughing with different men.

I had already finished my IT and my Dad retired too but we keep dressing every morning and and going out as usual as if we were going to our place of work then I never knew my Dad’s plan until he drove me somewhere in NNPC club where we got drinking, I drink a lot but my dad thought I was innocent to to him he is the first person to give me alcohol , mind you i was 23 years then. And drinking our beer he made one last call and all I heard was wait for me outside Refinery gate and he drove there lo and behold a very big truck that can be used to carry relieve material for displaced people. He drove ahead while the truck driver drove behind. We went straight to my siblings school and picked them up then we headed home where we packed everything and drove immediately to ph ( Eleme ). It was around 11pm she started calling and when we were already in our house but my Dad ordered my not to pick and he didn’t pick too .

For The 1million my Dad gave her to start the business she never for 1 days cook from it , even when my dad traveled and the money he dropped was exhausted she made us drink garri even when I had made millions and when my Dad asked why we had to sip garri as food her response was it’s a man’s responsibility to take care of the family not hers.



My reason for writing this long episode is just to let the OP know that a man can not just run with his children if you have not done anything to made feel you’re no more worthy.


I know my writing is not arranged but I just wanted to make a point[color=#990000][/color]

Your Dad chose a useless woman, chose to live with her even when it was proven that she was useless. Even living with her thereby putting all of you at risk, but somehow its the woman's fault that your dad made those decisions. SMH

cletz991:
what has tribe got to do with this

i have help for her

Harrykn:

Can I send an internet kiss for the first time?
Merry Christmas Zzor-Nla

So so bad that you can't detect her underlying sarcasm.

Tools4sale:


For once in ur life... U talk something reasonable...

So even you too couldn't smell the sarcasm?

Chai, nawa onto una o. NL men should be smarter than this na.

Cool

simbrixton2:
i have help for her

lagusboyyy:
This issue is a complicated one, since you confirmed that he's already in UK, the only easy way you can get access to him, is now through his family members.

Try to diplomatically talk to them, i pray this works.

It won't work his family members are aware.

powerkey:


Nonsense.

Go and get the children for her.

Typical. No sensible response. I said all she needs to do is go there you are saying I should go. You sabi read at all?

IKBARUTEN11:
D man is a master planner

Ma'am dnt go against the gd plans of ur husband 4 d kids

Sometin u shld be planning a thanksgiving 4 that ur children r out of dz shithole dt u want 2 report so dt it will be truncated.

May God 4gve u 4 being d household enemy

If you were my sister, I would have taught that man a lesson he will never forget in his miserable life. As far as he didn't assist you to carry your pregnancy, he had no right to behave that way.

But the story doesn't add up. Does your husband have ties to the UK? Is he a citizen? How about his job or is he self employed?

If he actually absconded with the kids and he isn't a citizen, then match to the UK embassy and lay a formal complaint that they were kidnapped. Trust me, before you blink an eyelid, they will be back in Nigeria.

AltCtrlDel:
I'm a man but men are scum


You guys should stop criticising the OP. Be sensitive and consider her mental health.

If y'all can't render any meaningful advice or directions then read and move on

when you get a Nigerian using "ya'll" you're most times looking at fake ass idiot and a human low in wisdom.

When a man parks up with his kids, then something is deep, bozo.

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

From your statement alone, you are a bad wife. Look at how you just washed him in public without keeping somethings private just to appear good. This is the problem, why won't he ascond with your children? You should be more focused on getting your family back together instead of making this slanderous statements against a man you call your husband.

Jaqenhghar:

Your Dad chose a useless woman, chose to live with her even when it was proven that she was useless. Even living with her thereby putting all of you at risk, but somehow its the woman's fault that your dad made those decisions. SMH

You’re stupid, before he married her did they write it on her face that she was bad?

GboyegaD:
I will advice you like a family member. Contact the British High Commission to let them know he never sought your consent. Once you can justify the consent letter he submitted was falsified, his records are shattered and he might be deported. You can find a way to get his number and have that discussion with him before doing that to bring him back to his senses

Have you contacted his HR to be sure he resigned? They should be able to give you that information as his next of kin of he has you listed.

Lastly, to the clowns saying she must have been a bad wife, you don't have enough information to judge any of the parties in this marriage. That said, I know situations where the bad ones are the ones trying to run away with the kids.

Complain ke? Do you have documentation for your marriage? Go back and check. Maybe he left with the papers. Maybe you guys don't have evidence of marriage. And he may have traveled with another woman as the wife.

cococandy:
Nonsense

Sherrup!

You are a very wicked woman.
If he is drunkard, adulterous, wife beater, why are you pursuing him?Just tell them to bring your children's for holidays.

AltCtrlDel:
I'm a man but men are scum


You guys should stop criticising the OP. Be sensitive and consider her mental health.

If y'all can't render any meaningful advice or directions then read and move on

Which category of men are you? Hope you have a woman under your roof?

Sharp Man, Search urself imagine a woman telling her husband that she will leave with the kids.

Sharp Man, Search urself imagine a woman telling her husband that she will leave with the kids.[color=#770077][/color]

GboyegaD:
I will advice you like a family member. Contact the British High Commission to let them know he never sought your consent. Once you can justify the consent letter he submitted was falsified, his records are shattered and he might be deported. You can find a way to get his number and have that discussion with him before doing that to bring him back to his senses

Have you contacted his HR to be sure he resigned? They should be able to give you that information as his next of kin of he has you listed.

Lastly, to the clowns saying she must have been a bad wife, you don't have enough information to judge any of the parties in this marriage. That said, I know situations where the bad ones are the ones trying to run away with the kids.

You just told us the man's bad side. Please tell us your own bad side. That way we can pass a balanced judgement.

WoundedLamb:
Lol... I want to believe the comments above are sarcastic. If your husband cheats, you're an irresponsible wife; if he's wayward, you're a shameless woman; if he beats you, you must be a destiny killer, if he leaves with your children, just accept it's your fault.

Being a woman in Africa is probably worse than being black in America.

The way some nairalanders judge things.. Has made me vow NEVER To bring my private life and matters to table before their awesome and ridiculously astonishing seat of judgement.
What if the man is secretly trying to get a foreign woman. See them typing stuffs..as if we're not aware of the extent a human can get wicked and decietful.
Dear OP.. Take heart.. Talk to God abov it.. And let's know the outcome..

Mynd44:

1. I didn't see where she said her husband is a citizen.

2. If he is, he can be arrested for abduction and trafficking (serious crimes)

3. If he is a citizen and the children are deported, they can still go to the UK as the recordswill show that they were innocent victims of a crine

Abduction and trafficking, do you even hear yourself at all? Abduction and trafficking for children that are his biological children, for a man that is the father of the children. No bloody Jupiter can arrest him anywhere, not in the UK, not the UK government, nobody. Unless, maybe you can go and arrest him yourself na, since you are the Bruce Lee of the wife that wants to charge a man according to your own personal laws that a father taking his children away is abduction. Kikikikiki, you funny oh

PedroEastman:




You’re stupid, before he married her did they write it on her face that she was bad?

Did you not say she misused funds and was spending time with other men in a joint? When you father saw all that why didn't he do something? You are calling me names
You are really your father's son.

As much as I don't hold brief for you; yet, don't allow anyone, here or elsewhere, to automatically guilt trip you to accept that you've been a bad wife to him and that a man cannot just wake up one morning and decide to abscond with the offspring of the union without his wife meting out grievous harms against him like in this your case; it does happen.

A thing like this or something similar is likely to happen when a self-absorbing or opportunistic spouse who didn't marry primarily because of mental attraction gains and acquires every other thing important to him/her in a union, this is regardless of whether the other spouse is outright evil or not.

If you've been a conscientious wife and mother, go to the British High Commission in Nigeria and lay a formal complaint.

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

Until we hear his side of the story we just might be able to have a clue of the situation but one thing I know is that no sane man will do what he did if he has a loving wife.

TemiBami2020:
Pls help me people. My world is collapsing. It's a marriage of 10years and blessed with 3kids (2 boys and a girl). Like every other marriages, we've had our own shares of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect.

Last month i went to work. By the time I came back the children were no where to be found, including my husband. Initially, I thought they went out or something. Around 11pm I got worried and called my brother in-law who is a police to track my husband numbers

He contacted other family members and he found out my husband left for UK with our children forever.

I don't know what to do. I'm running mad. Pls is there any authority I can contact in the UK? Or can I go to the UK/ British Commission in Nigeria to lay a formal complaint? Is there any NGO I can contact?


Modified For those saying I'm a bad wife, I'm not. I've been very supportive in a every way a wife can be. I've lived in both physical and verbal abusive marriage within the last 10years of my life. He's a violent man, adulterous, alcoholic and a fervent smoker. He gets drunk and get home and beat me up Infront of the children unprovoked. I have evidences and witnesses

I often threaten him I would take my children and go away cause I can't watch and allow them to grow in such a toxic home.

forget nairaland. go to twitter, post a video of you crying and show the pictures of your kids. the entire Nigeria will come and fight for you

Zzor:
For the man to have done that, you must be a bad wife and him taking the children along means he's a good and responsible man who loves his family, I hate women who treats Good men badly.

wow. This is good. I am impressed by the sense you have started getting. Please keep it up.

TemiBami2020:


They left Nigeria for the UK. His brother said he was able to reach him and he said he's not out for divorce. But I know the deceptive part of him. I lived with him for 10years.I just didn't know he could pull this kind of stunt.

Truth be told, your husband or do I say ex-husband stopped loving and trusting you a long time ago.


He has been exhibiting all the symptoms of a struggling and unhappy married man.

How was the home? Did you make things difficult for him emotionally or physically?

Did you keep any secret from him that has now been revealed to him?

He surely was a married lonely man and you were not his friend. He rather found comfort outside his home, whilst taking his frustrations out on you. Did you try to befriend him? How did it go?

Those advising you to go to the British Embassy ain't wrong, but it's a longer thing.

How is your relationship with his family members? Solid , lukewarm or dead?

Whilst I do not want to believe that a member of his family never knew about his plans, I will only advise you to woo any close family member.

That's the best way out.

Do you want to consider legal options?

Legal option will work, surely it will.


Commence a case here in the family court and get your lawyer to liaise with another in the UK who knows exactly what to do, and you will have your kids back.

The process could be lengthy and expensive, but it is sure to deliver result if you are sure of your facts.

I am certain this will grant you full custody of the kids as long as you are a qualified mother and caregiver.

I don't expect you to believe he will love you more for being the brain behind his abrupt stay in UK. So you will have to pursue judicial separation or outright divorce.

Warning

The only down side is this. If he can disappear with the kids, he can also hunt you down, kill you, and make it look like an accident.

Best Option

Best bet is to use his family to find out why he did what he did, initiate a reconciliation move for whatever you must have done wrong, even if you believe you were right. You can also involve your family.

Forget about the kids at this stage. Just focus on winning him back. If you can win him back, you will have your kids back.

Shalom.