Logan23:



""If we are to look at it objectively the oyibos have much better society using both economic and morality parameters to judge.""

This is blatantly false. Oyibo have one of the most terrible morality parameter on earth

Osashalom:

Why not if not?
All these grammar of child this child that have incapacitated well meaning parents! Modern men will always claim to be wiser than God.
God knows best when He said spare the rod and spoil the child.
He also said ''foolishness abound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it away''.
Little did you wonder why world is collapsing morally on daily basis?
All these civilisation are scam, they have done more harm than good as touching moral up bringing of children.
Moderation should be the concern here.
So when there is need to flug a child, flug him, adequately he won't die.
Don't forget the world can't be wiser than God!

gabazin080:
same problem I always have with my wife. she is a disciplinarian. she beats my 5 year old every time the young lad misbehaves. even my 2 year old twins are not exempted. she beats them them at Any slight provocation which I am not always happy with.
we have discussed this severally but yet she won't change. I even threatened to beat her up one day when she used a belt on our son.
the boy is becoming more stubborn by the day in spite of the beatings.
the kids like to always be with me whenever I return from work and they tend to tell me things they won't tell their mom

psyco:
Any data to prove your claims?

Okwyjesus:


All those saying l don't believe in beating a child you know more than God that said Spare the rod and spoil the child.

That is how western society started. Now their kids are growing very indiscipline. ln as much as l don't support violence and abuse but l have cain and l flog when necessary.

One day my daughter wrote me a lovely letter on my birthday one of the things she said is that she knows l flog to correct them to be better children. Am okay with that

staga:


What world are you living in?

kazyhm:



Nonsense. How can you equate correctional spanking to bully and still add submission to it ?

No single thing /approach on earth that does not have it advantages and disadvantages. Beat and talk as and when necessary.

Have you ever wonder how some grown up ass ended up with empty brain, no discipline, no knowledge of anything worth emulating, no moral, no values.....they follows anything sheepishly.

How many spoilt brats that ended up wasting every resources invested on them.....let me stop here....

I think its unwise to compare and contrast on issue like this.........because there seem to be some influences beyond our grasp that direct each and individual paths in life....flooding or not.

Some folks without parent figure sometimes ended up better that those that were train; some with iron hands and other with soft hand.....but all in all I apply talks and beating as and when necessary.

African, especially Nigerians are becoming brain dead by the day....many people nowadays subject everything to how they feel about it without any factual reason.....and I think to a large extent sadly, we makes Summersaulting policies that will not move us forward in any particular direction.


Same way females has started engaging in some fruitless arguments in favour of abolishing house chores; feeling it is enslaving their gender but no one is drawing their attention to the fact that males does more chores.......

efficiencie:
@bizme. The goal of punishment (negative reinforcement) is to teach the child that consequences follow bad decisions and the goal of rewarding good behaviour (positive reinforcement) is to teach the child that there a beneficial incentives associated with good behaviour. The problem with today's parents is that they have misused both punishments and rewards. Many parents today punish out of anger and end up harming the child mentally, physically and even spiritually. Also many parents have often provided rewards for reasons other than providing an incentive for good behavior.

Used in the right manner punishments and rewards can be effectively combined as a means of socialisation and hence I do not believe in the unbalanced use of positive discipline alone because life itself is not entirely positive and the well rounded child must be trained to respond appropriately to the positive as well as the negative.

ravensckar:
Well, permit me to disagree with you two. I have a 3 year old daughter who sometimes behave like a 'cow'. Whenever she's angry, she throws herself on the floor and destroys whatever is in her sight. At first, I tried speaking and going easy on her until I realized that she was testing my resolve. Then I remembered my father's favourite saying; 'A big madness will give way to a bigger madness'.

By the time I swung into action with my tiny sized cane, belt and cloth hanger. That spirit of 'stubborness' left her. Now, she's as well behaved as I had expected. Yes, it doesn't mean I don't pamper or play with her. As a matter of fact, she plays with me more than her mum. If I return late from work, my child won't sleep. She'll be shouting 'My daddy'.


In summary, I have always been in favour of using the rod to correct a child and to use some form of punishment as a disciplinary measure. If not for how my parents disciplined me, God knows what I might have become today....

thinkmoney:

Oyinbo obviously do better economically, buy they are more immoral my friend. They have even gone further in many instances to set up institutions and laws to protect their immoral lifestyles

bizme:
Many times the fact that your children comply with your expectations after flogging doesn't mean you have achieved the goal of parenting. Many times it means we have bullied them into submission. Just like many kids would obey a bully in school, not out of reference or understanding, but out of primal fear.

Have you wondered why many children from strict upbringing mess up big time the first time they get to higher institution where no parents are to police them with flogging?

Children are children. They have an independent mind, and it is okay to cultivate communicating with them and even seek other options for exerting discipline like denying them of something they so much desire. Being children, there are many forms this could take.

If we are being objective, most of the flogging of children taking place around involve a scary dose of undisciplined temper on the part of the parent/teacher. Together with so much verbal abuses from them. The same with teachers in school: you explain something to your pupils which they don't understand. Rather than seek ways to communicate effectively, you start caning them blue black as though the process of caning would magically impart understanding.

I am not sure many people had the kind of flogging I had growing up, both at home and in school. It was almost literally a daily phenomenon. All of them out of anger. Yes, I have turned out marvelously well, but that's more in spite of those floggings rather than because of them. I plainly became immune to the beating, and very adept at hiding my terrible deeds. Last year when I told my mum some of those things I had been involved with as a teenager and living away from home, she almost held her head out of fear thanking God that I had survived them. Unfortunately, both of them have destroyed any semblance of friendship that should have existed between us as parents and children.

Our parents should learn to communicate with mouth rather than sticks.

Ulunne777:
Yes on a good day after you've been warned several times.
This year alone I had bought up to 3 slippers for them and they'd throw it over the next compound while playing.costly kiddies footwearsoo. They usually land in a big gutter there which means no retrieval. I talked, threatened yet when I buy another one the same story.

I have had enough and after flogging them very well presented a new one. The one called bathroom slippers�.each #150

OMG,6 months after they are still intact to be washed every Saturday. If you see the carefulness. Lol

bizme:
I have been involved in quite a number of discussions and debates of this nature where some believe that the only way to bring up children is by beating them. Others believe the opposite is true. I was brought up by parents who considered heavy handedness as a parental virtue and they never spared the rod in dealing with us... I have noticed the same pattern in our educational setting where teachers prefer to communicate their emotion via the cane.
I personally think most of such beating comes from parents' and teachers' inability to rein in their temper, rather than the genuine interest in the child's well being.

I have my little children, and it is not difficult to talk things over with them, and even set up disciplinary measures that don't involve beating.

Looking back over your shoulders, would you say the kind of beating-filled/beating-devoid upbringing you received has affected your relationship with your parents? And would you accept teachers to beat your children anyhow?

I believe I am posting this in the right section.

Logan23:


So if ur son tells u that u are a silly alot, u will congratulate him. Ok

bizme:
I stopped reading at "Nonsense" .

MISSCONGENIALITY:
Person wey no best him pikin when it's necessary, police go best am for cell when him go wild.
Children should be applied the reward and punishment principle. Punishment should be by talking, isolation, and if necessary beating.
Just make sure the child knows why he or she is being punished. And also when they do something good, appreciate them so that when you punish them for doing bad, they will understand too.

bizme:
I have been involved in quite a number of discussions and debates of this nature where some believe that the only way to bring up children is by beating them. Others believe the opposite is true. I was brought up by parents who considered heavy handedness as a parental virtue and they never spared the rod in dealing with us... I have noticed the same pattern in our educational setting where teachers prefer to communicate their emotion via the cane.
I personally think most of such beating comes from parents' and teachers' inability to rein in their temper, rather than the genuine interest in the child's well being.

I have my little children, and it is not difficult to talk things over with them, and even set up disciplinary measures that don't involve beating.

Looking back over your shoulders, would you say the kind of beating-filled/beating-devoid upbringing you received has affected your relationship with your parents? And would you accept teachers to beat your children anyhow?

I believe I am posting this in the right section.

bizme:
Allow me to disagree with you on this. If we are to look at it objectively the oyibos have much better society using both economic and morality parameters to judge. So if we copy the good aspects of their life, it wouldn't be a bad idea at all.

Secondly, I don't think immorality is increasing everyday in our society like you have put it. Instead the ready access to the internet makes it easy for us to learn about things we wouldn't otherwise have known. Neither do I believe that this generation is worse than the previous. Our fathers and mothers and people before them were part of equally immoral generation, they simply like to be hypocritical when talking about the younger generation. Just like many of us might also feel like telling our kids that their generation is unnecessarily permissive morally speaking. It is all a lie. Our parents did their own kind of atrocities in their time, they were not saints.

Back to the oyibos, without flogging kids they somehow manage to produce more empathic and more human human beings that build the society. We continue to lay claim on a higher morality in our society yet we keep churning out terrorists, yahoo-yahoo, and corrupt individuals year in year out. It isn't a bad idea to copy their style of raising up kids.
I support this...beating hardly instills morals in children, it's just a way to vent out their anger and frustration

descarado:
We beat cos we don't know how to communicate with our kids. Create soured relationships between parents and kids in the future and the cycle continues..


Kids nowadays are very outspoken. U can't silence them with beating and most times if u are patience enough to listen and assimilate, they make better argument than you. How a child should talk back at you is the problem.

U will have a friend if u see your child as a friend and confidant. Look at our society. Our parents beat the hell out of us. Are we better. We are very aggressive, lack patience and inherently wicked. These traits were formed when we were young. Thanks to beating and constant unnecessary nagging.

thinkmoney:

Well, I admit in 'that immoral', we are worse off.
But u can't really blame all those on the type of discipline we had or didn't. Many of our woes are caused by this oyinbos; forcing dissimilar people together causes unhealthy competition and they have so bastardized our psych by not only colonizing us but also stealing over many centuries our wealth and men. We feel so inferior now and result to preying on each other.
All this things are psychological

stanliwise:

How long do we continue to blame the whites?
They made a terrible mistake long ago by putting us together. If we are not greedy why do we still remain together? Going to over 60years now

bizme:
Nigerians are exceedingly more immoral than any Oyinbo society.

thinkmoney:

You know greed is not the reason why we are together?
We should be fine with time. We should now learn to leave together, after all we are humans. It will be hard, but I believe when we do, it will be worth the while

illicit:


I will discuss with him....

bizme:
Can you share with us the context within which you believe the Oyinbos have the most terrible morality?

Because with respect to violence, sexual indiscipline, breach of trust, corruption, malice, racism, religious intolerance, crime etc... Nigerians are much worse than any of the developed Oyinbo countries on planet earth. I am really curious to read the parameters that you considered that made you think Nigerians are more morally upright than anyone.