brownlolly:


Very good. Actions have consequences. Imagine the pressure the man is facing now. His marriage is also at stake if you haven't considered it too cos I am quite certain that the wife would have some resentment towards their action...and when she misbehaves later they'll start calling her a bad woman.

Let them respect themselves and leave the house. That's the first thing they should do before they should even be considered.

He cannot sha chase them out. Na the man cause am from the beginning, maybe he made his parents think it is only his money he was using. So how do you expect the parents to behave if he gave them the impression that it was all his money from the start. Because his parents seem like good people, for them to have actually built the house up to that stage. Also, this is the first person I’m meeting not considering putting his parents in his plans and planning a permanent accommodation for them while making plans of a permanent accommodation for himself and his immediate family. Na the man’s fault. He should have discussed everything with his wife from the beginning.

Anyway, as the situation is right now, maybe they need to talk to someone their parents will listen to, a pastor or someone else. Let the person talk to his parents. I wish him all the best

It happened to a friend of mine who is based in Canada but what he did was, he completed the building and let his parents there since they love the house and after 2years, he build another one for himself. So bro, respect the decision of your parents, seek for their blessings not their curse....shalom

Eject them out of your house and face death very soon. Useless son that married a useless woman. If na your wife mama enter that house, will you come here to be saying this trash. Your uselss wife told us your parents begged you to let them in but you refused. What else do u expect them to do ? To continue moving from one rented apartment to the other while thier son has a house uninhabited by anyone! Who does that ? Eject them from that house let people eject you from life on behalf of your parents.

Bro, u have to consider the house their's. Because u can't send them out of there and if u can't live with them when u finally come back. It would be ideal for you to rent an apartment for yourself (THIS IS NIGERIA).

Sir please I need any help from anyone right now I'm really stress out right now sometimes I feel so sad about my life I couldn't attend higher institution due to lack of fund but I'd attend vocational skills acquisition on welding and fabrication and I'd round up my skills program since 2018.

but since then I haven't gotten any job or reliable source of income feed from hand to mouth the pandemic starvation mode is something I'll not forget in my life some month's back.

I've been carrying my CV like my house key all day from one company gate to another and now I'm very sick with no money to buy drug's or food my account balance is just #200 please help sir anyone please

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

Your parents are smart.
They are saving you years of paying unnecessary rents when their son has a house.
I advice you to make it more conducive for them to live in.
After all I doubt if you are ever returning to Nigeria permanently.

So no fuss abeg.... You should be hapoy

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

where are you building this house? In the city or villa. Which type of structure are you putting up. For what purpose ? For rentage or just for your own house.

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

When you were collecting money from them to buy photosynthesis and amoeba, did you consult us. They have the right to enjoy your money considering their contribution to your welfare.

MeghaneMorgane:


He cannot sha chase them out. Na the man cause am from the beginning, maybe he made his parents think it is only his money he was using. So how do you expect the parents to behave if he gave them the impression that it was all his money from the start. Because his parents seem like good people, for them to have actually built the house up to that stage. Also, this is the first person I’m meeting not considering putting his parents in his plans and planning a permanent accommodation for them while making plans of a permanent accommodation for himself and his immediate family. Na the man’s fault. He should have discussed everything with his wife from the beginning.

Anyway, as the situation is right now, maybe they need to talk to someone their parents will listen to, a pastor or someone else. Let the person talk to his parents. I wish him all the best

Lol parents, pastors, typical cycle, o di woro si woro. Africa smh

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

Well they are your parents but should have informed you about it

Is it possible you build a small apartment for them in another land if you have the money

All the same, so far the rest members of the family knows that the lams and house belongs to you, just be careful with them

DWJOBScom:


i don't have time for emotional beings who probably are kids

If you have lived as long as i have , you will know why you should coat everything up with vague and unrealistic emotion.

Make money first and build a house then we talk!

Are the parents homeless - NO
Is he paying for their rent - YES
is he willing to pay for another accommodation for them - can be strongly assumed YES

WHY LIVE IN HIS HOUSE ?

To answer your question YES.

Well, you can choose to delete emotions from your lyf style completely or try your best possible to build repulsive force on it "na you get yourself"

@bold, what makes you think before me your were and who told you ain't gat house?

Acidosis:



His financial stability doesn't matter. As far as he sucked im mama breast and eat akara and akamu before leaving for school in his teenage years, he must build.

cococandy:
FIXED

Well that's the focus of the entire post.

MeghaneMorgane:


Your parents had a choice not to cut their dreams. They had a choice not to take care of you. They had a choice not to put in the effort to make you a responsible person in the society but they chose to do all these things for you. If they didn’t do anything to make you responsible, nothing would have happened too.
You need to appreciate God for giving you good parents and you need to appreciate your parents for being good parents. You owe them gratitude all the time because if not for them and God, it could have been a completely different story.

So the Bible will side with a parent that has a child and choose not to do the needful? Parenting and being a parent is not a quid quo pro arrangement! If you don't look after your children then you are not worthy of being a parent.

Parent is completely at fault - no blame shifting will change that fact; and they have totally embarrassed the husband with his wife and the in-laws that will know about this. So the wife and her family do not have a say in this.

Most couples abroad struggle with 2 incomes and this is not about men just being in charge of things... The parents must have known the circumstances but still have ulterior motives - sad!

Lots of advice out there telling folks abroad to be careful trusting family - but this sort of things will continue to happen. Pity

alpontif:


I understand you are talking from a place of folly, so I will endeavour to teach you wisdom.

Imagine. Such arrogance.

alpontif:


Western Cultural values are individualistic and sacrifices the group need for the individual need.

Another sweeping claim from a supposed wise man.

alpontif:


African Cultural values and most Eastern values are community based and will put the need of the community over the need of the individual.

Every culture is community based. Stop making stupid claims.

alpontif:


If your background is African, you cannot start imposing nuclear values that are odd to the African environment. This me and my wife nuclear values is why a lot of men are ending up alone in Old age in Nigeria. Their wife would have cornered the affections of the children, while they stay emotionally isolated.

Another sweeping claim.

alpontif:


So you see, there is immense value in African cultural systems of community, extended family and taking care of one's parents.

This is not African. It's universal and stupidity is sacrificing personal happiness for social validation.

alpontif:


Granted there are downsides to this, but the good outweighs the bad.

Therefore within that cultural context, the right action of a wise child that is self aware enough to have shame is to raise the prestige and image of his parents first in society by getting them that which they lack.

And the emotional blackmail begins here.

alpontif:


Housing is principally not for reasons of Shelter alone, it is also for reasons of self esteem, societal acceptance and Ego.... All vital parts of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

And the Op gave them money to rent their apartment.

alpontif:

Getting them their own house should have been your primary objective...

Who are you to tell a man what his primary objective should be? Such arrogance.

alpontif:

Let me give you an example, my mother has houses in different places, but she refused to buy a car... For the sake of my own image, I bought a car for her and got her a driver, this woman sacked the driver after a month and parked the car.

Living for social validation means you have self esteem problem. You need help boss.

alpontif:


She now only takes it out together with her closest friend whenever they have prayer events... On normal days, she will just park the car and take public transport.....

This shows you are a control freak.

alpontif:


But the important thing is everybody knew I bought her a car.... Even if she is not using it. The car is still there in excellent condition.

If she didn't have a house, I would have built her one before building mine... But fortunately she get am plenty.

You are obsessed with social validation.Unfortunately, not every man lives for social validation, like yourself.

alpontif:


My point is mr Kehinde ó lọ ju ti. He does not have a sense of shame. It is not your parents that are disgraced, it is you that is disgraced. If you had built the house for them, and they did not move in... At least your extended family and people will know you have done the proper thing. Good parents will not make unnecessary demands of you. My mama has never asked me for anything ever.... But I know my duty. You should know yours.

Don't impose your flawed views on the Op. He knows his priorities.

alpontif:


Of course there are some useless parents that did not contribute to the success of their children, these are the sorts of parents that insist on been placed on 750k per month salaries and demand brand new latest model cars from their child just because he or she is working abroad....

But I don't think Mr Kehinde's parents are useless, unless he is implying that himself via his intended actions.

Sho ti yẹ eee?

Or you still don't understand?

Go work on yourself Mr man.

His nuclear comes first before anything. He should get his parents new apartment. They have no business inconveniencing him and the wife

Ikillbrokehoes:
And so what? are they not your parents? smh

That depends on which kind of parents they were..

neyobills:


I’m glad u have children and u are providing for them like a good parent should

Your parents could have decided not to send you to school but organize annual end of the year parties for motherless children for charity,it’s not on their head,it’s their choice as well.

Remember you will grow old and aged one day too and if it happens your kids are abroad while your aged wife has gone to her eternal rest and they have a house in Nigeria that no one stays there except a watchman and a maid and u decide to go there to be taken care of for the meantime but they refuse because they would rather use it for vacation apartments for their friends abroad or Airbnb and u would intrude the privacy of their guests,we can all hope you would respect their investment choices as well

If he is abroad and he has a house in Nigeria while his aged parents stay in a rented apartment,I guess the house will be gathering snow till he decides to relocate,do not let your lifestyle choices make you insensitive to your family.

I have no need to build a house in Nigeria - there are family houses that I can stay or hotel or Airbnb. I live a simple live and can manage anywhere - why would I be so stupid to build a big house just for show.

People should stop assuming the house belongs to man and that it is for him to come and live. Folks abroad want to invest their money and Nigeria give so much better returns on investment - simple as that!

If people are continually discouraged to invest at home from abroad - it is the country that will suffer...

Lastly, I am making plans for my retirement and old age - so I will not be needing financial assistance from the children - just their love and attention.

I so intend to leave a big inheritance because statistically a lot of black people leave very little for the next generation. I am even ready to downsize to a smaller apartment so that my kids can get on the property ladder. I am responsible for them - not the other way round!

Well continue the house till finish , then if there is still space in your yard later on start up another one just beside the ongoing house so they can move in to that one after everything.

Hezzyluv:


Well, you can choose to delete emotions from your lyf style completely or try your best possible to build repulsive force on it "na you get yourself"

@bold, what makes you think before me your were and who told you ain't gat house?

Learning and flexibility must be tough

More problematic then. Or maybe u told them it was your house? What if ur wife wants her folks to also move in? Let your folks know its owned by you n your wife.....that own the property!

Kehindeaj78:
I'm married and the development of the house is from the purse of me and my wife

I hate people who seek advice on something clearer than water.

Firstly, as the wife, I'm done contributing to any project with my husband. I'll only carry out my personal projects without even his knowledge.

Secondly, as the husband, since my parents has taken the house with force as a compensation for "raising and taking care of me", I don't owe them anything anymore. Also, if the house is still uncompleted, they'll have to complete it on their own or live in it like that.

My advice to any serious bachelor on nairaland, listen to nairaland guys advice at your own peril.

FahBuLous:
Don't do anything...
They are your parents, if you really love them, let them live there for now... When you are back from outside the country, Rent another apartment for them...

I know people value their privacy alot...

You think it will be easy to move them out,
Before you comment on sensitive issue like this first ask questions.

Your parents labour build house, you no.wan make them live I. Who go come live there. Guy, you get work to onon yourself.

Kehindeaj78:
I'm married and the development of the house is from the purse of me and my wife

please don't listen to those people asking what will you do, tell them the truth about both you and your wife contribution for the house. You and your family should come to an agreement that they will be there pending you and your wife will need the house... This is one of the reasons why I will never build a house with my husband.

chrisj2:


I have no need to build a house in Nigeria - there are family houses that I can stay or hotel or Airbnb. I live a simple live and can manage anywhere - why would I be so stupid to build a big house just for show.

People should stop assuming the house belongs to man and that it is for him to come and live. Folks abroad want to invest their money and Nigeria give so much better returns on investment - simple as that!

If people are continually discouraged to invest at home from abroad - it is the country that will suffer...

Lastly, I am making plans for my retirement and old age - so I will not be needing financial assistance from the children - just their love and attention.

I so intend to leave a big inheritance because statistically a lot of black people leave very little for the next generation. I am even ready to downsize to a smaller apartment so that my kids can get on the property ladder. I am responsible for them - not the other way round!

Oh so u have no problems staying in a family house so why chastise an aged couple who decides to stay in their sons house that can also be rightly called a family house

No one is assuming anything but you,let’s just say the house isn’t his for real even though he stated otherwise how does it hurt the investor that his parents decide to stay in a not to completed house,he didn’t say it was a finished and tastefully furnished apartment,how will his parents investing their rent money on the property affect the returns on his investment maybe you should give us your economical blueprint how this will affect the investor.

Lastly you are making plans for retirement and I hope the come true for you and mine as well but until that happens it’s still wishful thinking,I’m sure those parents had their retirement plans too,bringing it to fruition is another kettle of fish and we need Gods grace as well to make it happen,perhaps their retirement plan was sending their kid to school,their kid their choice,u have no right to chastise their choice of investment if u haven’t fed them before.

All this black people self hating crew self,where did u conduct your statistics that black people leave very inheritance behind,in saner climes no one cares much about an older folks inheritance when there is social security and safety net,abundance of jobs and opportunities,I’m sure you must have heard white people given up estate inheritances to their pets and no one raises the roof over there,how many black people have given their inheritance to cats?

You had better jolt yourself back into reality with this story so we won’t be using u as an example too someday,hustle harder and pray for Gods as well,remember the ice says it’s solid too until u put some heat on it.

I advise you try building another house depending on your pocket, they are your parents and that's an average Nigerian parents mentality, probably a bungalow if you're building a duplex earlier, and get them pack into it before proceeding with your main dupe.

OfficialAPCNig:

Imagine. Such arrogance.

Another sweeping claim from a supposed wise man.

Every culture is community based. Stop making stupid claims.


Another sweeping claim.

This is not African. It's universal and stupidity is sacrificing personal happiness for social validation.


And the emotional blackmail begins here.

And the Op gave them money to rent their apartment.


Who are you to tell a man what his primary objective should be? Such arrogance.
Living for social validation means you have self esteem problem. You need help boss.


This shows you are a control freak.


You are obsessed with social validation.Unfortunately, not every man lives for social validation, like yourself.


Don't impose your flawed views on the Op. He knows his priorities.


Go work on yourself Mr man.

His nuclear comes first before anything. He should get his parents new apartment. They have no business inconveniencing him and the wife

You are even more daft than I assumed before. Seeking Social Validation is an essential part of any sane Human being, without that there won't be something called the Maslow's hierarchy of needs.... Psychologists know this, social scientists know this, philosophers know this, any well informed person knows this, anyone with half a brain knows this.... Therefore posing that concept as if its a flaw shows the deep gaps in your thought process.

From the nonsense you have been vomiting, I can only wish you go back to school and pay attention this time, OR develop a habit of reading, so that you can better understand the sociology of human societies, why people behave the way they do, what different societies expect and how to understand societal values and understanding how to work with them for harmony in the society.

There is a path to harmony, and there is another to division. The wise knows the path to pursue, I just hope readers don't get influenced by the deeply insane views you hold that can only lead to division in the African society.

Eat your humble pie and open your brain to get wisdom.. E go pay you.

Kehindeaj78:
I live outside the country but I entrusted my house development with my parents in Nigeria, but they leave in a rented apartment. They're are due for new rent payment at their rented apartment which i sent them the money, only for them to call me that they don't want to rent another apartment again and have moved into my ongoing house and used the money to do somethings in the ongoinghouse. What do I do?

OK your parents did wrong. They should have consulted you first before doing so. People complain about entitled mentality but its all round in this our society

Kehindeaj78:
I'm married and the development of the house is from the purse of me and my wife

hmmmmm

That's why I don't disclose my on going project to any of my family member. Until I finish the building and get my parent land and be developing it for them.

Becos the money is from my wife and I purse.

My wife 60%
Me 40%.

But why are most Nigerians unfair to those abroad? These people work very hard to earn but people here will wanna exploit them. Its sad

Isaacify:
I advise you try building another house depending on your pocket, they are your parents and that's an average Nigerian parents mentality, probably a bungalow if you're building a duplex earlier, and get them pack into it before proceeding with your main dupe.

correct

Isaacify:
I advise you try building another house depending on your pocket, they are your parents and that's an average Nigerian parents mentality, probably a bungalow if you're building a duplex earlier, and get them pack into it before proceeding with your main dupe.

Contribution from both spouse. Wetin him go tell him wife?