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I Just Need A Family - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: I Just Need A Family by Billygee2u: 3:04am On Aug 14
Zonefree:
You don't need a second wife yet.

You need to divorce that Jezebel first and get yourself another beautiful damsel to console your heart for a decade of living with the devil.
Re: I Just Need A Family by IyaTola: 3:04am On Aug 14
Of course. Some men don’t want children, either. It is a choice, period.

udede:
there was no agreement with her not to have kids, i also noticed that she is hiding things from me especially reasons why she couldn't have kids.
Nulliparous” is a fancy medical word used to describe a woman who hasn't given birth to a child. It doesn't necessarily mean that she's never been pregnant — someone who's had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or elective abortion but has never given birth to a live baby is still referred to as nulliparous.

1 Like

Re: I Just Need A Family by IyaTola: 3:07am On Aug 14
Of course it’s normal to not want children. Pregnancy and motherhood are very vulnerable places in a woman’s life. You are dependent on other people because that baby is so dependent upon you and you’re physically compromised so if you don't have a network and a support structure in place for this period of time you will be in a precarious situation. That’s a very difficult place to be, especially for a proud and self-sufficient working woman who has always been independent and taken care of herself. It takes tremendous courage to be so vulnerable and you have to have faith that it will all work out. We all don't come by faith as easily as others.

Ironically, most women find that despite the vulnerabilities of pregnancy and motherhood it is also the most powerfully feminine and strongest part of a woman’s life at the same time! I am woman, hear me roar! It will show you all your weaknesses and your strengths at the same time and for all the pride you feel in your strengths you feel the same shame for your weaknesses. It’s definitely not a game for sissies and thinking about it carefully and considering all options means that you’re paying attention.
Re: I Just Need A Family by eguarojeona: 4:10am On Aug 14
udede:
thanks for this angle you are coming from. She was a student when I married her and when i raise the issue of having children, her excuss then was that dhe can't combine schooling with having kids, we did not have long courtship actually and i think it contributed to all these, she was able to hide her disdem for kids, and it never crossed my mind that a lady could marry without wanting kids
Its always these subtle signs that we dont take seriously. People never change.We should try to always listen and pay attention.
Re: I Just Need A Family by Collins4u1(m): 4:10am On Aug 14
Imagine!! every thing revolves around church. When there's fire on the mountain lemme see what church will do for you.
Re: I Just Need A Family by Igwetech: 4:14am On Aug 14
Rosrozz:
Was there an agreement with your wife not to have kids before marriage? I think there’s more to this, your wife is hiding a very important issue about her from you.
How can such agreement be made before marriage when the primary aim of every igbo man or woman before marriage is to have children?
Re: I Just Need A Family by chikason22(m): 4:26am On Aug 14
udede:
in the christian religious denomination i belong, polygamy (polygny) is normal and we know how to practice it peacefuly, she can't harm anyone because everyone has their own spaces.


As for divorce, she simply refused to go (actually I'm a husband material with good looks , without being a simp,) in our church you can't divorce any woman without an evidence of adultry or witchcraft. More over she is very harmless and likable, i even have her permission to marry a second wife
Not just in in church
It's the standard as enshrined in the Holy Bible.
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Re: I Just Need A Family by chikason22(m): 4:42am On Aug 14
ireneidiva:


What denomination in Christianity supports polygamy?
There is nothing wrong with polygamy. God Almighty even gave wives to His servants I'd they sure desire.
Nowadays women hates it because they don't want any competition, so they can misbehave. Whether you like it or not, polygamy is not a sin and God is not against it.
You better situp if you're already married or else someone will have to share kitchen, bedroom with you.

Re: I Just Need A Family by chikason22(m): 4:48am On Aug 14
Chidi2022:
God bless you real Good... Church said you can't divorce but church agrees for you to marry a second wife.. Who is fooling who?
The same church that your wife can't confess what her problem is to? Maybe the church should kuku come and help OP to divide his wife's legs like the red sea so he will dive in....
Church is right because they follow lay down principle. As you don't read the Bible, you won't come across this.

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery..

Go to the Bible. Many of those men God used to establish His convenant are polygamist. Good even gave some as many wives as they want. It's only insecure women like the both of you and other of your kinds says otherwise. You don't want competition but you can't stop misbehaving.
sad

Re: I Just Need A Family by eternallyfocus: 5:02am On Aug 14
What are u doing in a marriage without kids for ten years...with a woman who does not want kids.... Stay more ten years...mumu people. Wether marriage na by force

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Re: I Just Need A Family by GorillaApp(m): 5:14am On Aug 14
frozen70:


You seems to be alone in this

Why not involve your family and both families will meet and end this marriage, just tell them that you are no longer interested in the marriage and don't listen to any begging from any one to give another chance, return the bride price and then file for a divorce if necessary

But am very sure that she is not in good terms with your family

You may remain like this forever if you don't take the above step and advice

But If you are a very weak man, then that's another bigger problem
You are always very objective and practical in your analysis. Maybe you can give pointers on an issue. Can I reach you
Re: I Just Need A Family by GorillaApp(m): 5:15am On Aug 14
chikason22:

There is nothing wrong with polygamy. God Almighty even gave wives to His servants I'd they sure desire.
Nowadays women hates it because they don't want any competition, so they can misbehave. Whether you like it or not, polygamy is not a sin and God is not against it.
You better situp if you're already married or else someone will have to share kitchen, bedroom with you.
Can you please provide biblical proof
Re: I Just Need A Family by MarketDispatch: 5:19am On Aug 14
udede:
in the christian religious denomination i belong, polygamy (polygny) is normal and we know how to practice it peacefuly, she can't harm anyone because everyone has their own spaces.


As for divorce, she simply refused to go (actually I'm a husband material with good looks , without being a simp,) in our church you can't divorce any woman without an evidence of adultry or witchcraft. More over she is very harmless and likable, i even have her permission to marry a second wife

The answer to your wife not wanting kids is in the WhatsApp chats with her friends...

Go and find out
.
Re: I Just Need A Family by lendahand(m): 5:25am On Aug 14
udede:
there was no agreement with her not to have kids, i also noticed that she is hiding things from me especially reasons why she couldn't have kids.
that's very insensitive of her. My own wife opened up to me her situation even before I went for introduction.
Re: I Just Need A Family by Caseless: 5:42am On Aug 14
udede:
YES i have been married for about 10 years and my wife is in his early 30s. She doesn't want kids but I want them,and we have non. She refuses every medical test and diagnosis with flimsy excuses.

I need a second wife as soon as possible, some one that love kids and want to have them, I'm a Christian and an Igbo from Anambra but my denomination dosent oppose polygamy (polygny)
How did it take you so long to get another wife? The essence of marriage is procreation and if that's deliberately being frustrated, then you should act as a man.

Did she openly tell you that she doesn't want kids?
Re: I Just Need A Family by Madu100t(m): 5:45am On Aug 14
I guess the church knows something about the woman that you don't know, your wife and the church knows some secrets they are keeping from you.author=Chidi2022 post=115625662]Why are you suffering your self? Your church doesn't forbid you from cheating or having second wife but it forbids you from sending that wicked wife of yours away?
Who do you think you are deceiving? Yourself, The church or God?
Salvation is a personal race.. Upholding the laws of the church at your own detriment will not guarantee you heaven...
Until your old age , then you will know that the fire and pains in a polygamy home is hotter than this one you are facing now....
HD it been your wife has a known medical condition or she is barren, it will be understandable, Adoption or ivf can be tried.....but she refused sex, refused medical help and anything at all to help her home....
Na you wear the shoe.. maybe she is the bread winner, make i no come pour sand for your bread.[/quote]
Re: I Just Need A Family by Nyanabo(m): 5:47am On Aug 14
Why marry a second wife though ? You could get the kids from outside.
Re: I Just Need A Family by victorjoe(m): 5:50am On Aug 14
Is not wanting to have kids deliberately after 10 years of marriage not witchcraft enough?

Oh! You are waiting to see her flying at night with broom first.
Hmmm...


udede:
in the christian religious denomination i belong, polygamy (polygny) is normal and we know how to practice it peacefuly, she can't harm anyone because everyone has their own spaces.


As for divorce, she simply refused to go (actually I'm a husband material with good looks , without being a simp,) in our church you can't divorce any woman without an evidence of adultry or witchcraft. More over she is very harmless and likable, i even have her permission to marry a second wife

1 Like

Re: I Just Need A Family by lonelydora: 6:10am On Aug 14
udede:
in the christian religious denomination i belong, polygamy (polygny) is normal and we know how to practice it peacefuly, she can't harm anyone because everyone has their own spaces.


As for divorce, she simply refused to go (actually I'm a husband material with good looks , without being a simp,) in our church you can't divorce any woman without an evidence of adultry or witchcraft. More over she is very harmless and likable, i even have her permission to marry a second wife

I don't think you really want to solve this issue. Good luck to you!
Re: I Just Need A Family by frozen70(f): 6:22am On Aug 14
GorillaApp:

You are always very objective and practical in your analysis. Maybe you can give pointers on an issue. Can I reach you

Hello, thanks for your observations

Yes you can
Re: I Just Need A Family by Xantel(f): 6:22am On Aug 14
udede:
devorce with out evidence of adultry or witcraft is impossible in my church

If truly she can't give birth and she knew before the wedding and still conceal it, church can nullify the marriage
Re: I Just Need A Family by kwasoly(m): 6:23am On Aug 14
udede:
YES i have been married for about 10 years and my wife is in his early 30s. She doesn't want kids but I want them,and we have non. She refuses every medical test and diagnosis with flimsy excuses.

I need a second wife as soon as possible, some one that love kids and want to have them, I'm a Christian and an Igbo from Anambra but my denomination dosent oppose polygamy (polygny)


Oga what kind of talk is this one na, which one is ur wife doesn't want kids, why did she accept to marry u and did you guys not talk about kids while dating?
Watn person no go see or hear from this space.
Re: I Just Need A Family by Taigaban: 6:43am On Aug 14
udede:
there was no agreement with her not to have kids, i also noticed that she is hiding things from me especially reasons why she couldn't have kids.
May be she has medical issue she is hiding from you. By now your first child could have been in secondary School. That woman is drawing you back. Take action and free yourself. I started having kids at age 37 and I am not finding things easy. Early to bed early to rise.
Re: I Just Need A Family by anonym0us: 6:51am On Aug 14
udede:
in the christian religious denomination i belong, polygamy (polygny) is normal and we know how to practice it peacefuly, she can't harm anyone because everyone has their own spaces.


As for divorce, she simply refused to go (actually I'm a husband material with good looks , without being a simp,) in our church you can't divorce any woman without an evidence of adultry or witchcraft. More over she is very harmless and likable, i even have her permission to marry a second wife
must the church detect how your life and happiness should be? Drop this church things and go get your self a wife to Bear you fruit
Re: I Just Need A Family by walebliss(m): 6:53am On Aug 14
Don't divorce her o. Just get married to another woman , get her in a different apartment.
Re: I Just Need A Family by cococandy(f): 6:56am On Aug 14
I don’t support OP’s wife in her decision to not be straightforward about her preferences before they got married. She would have saved him a ton of headache now.

But that fact that people find it impossible to believe that someone can want marriage without children is quite astonishing. Are y’all this dense?

1 Like

Re: I Just Need A Family by lookingfly: 7:00am On Aug 14
udede:
YES i have been married for about 10 years and my wife is in his early 30s. She doesn't want kids but I want them,and we have non. She refuses every medical test and diagnosis with flimsy excuses.

I need a second wife as soon as possible, some one that love kids and want to have them, I'm a Christian and an Igbo from Anambra but my denomination dosent oppose polygamy (polygny)
you waited 10 years before maning up.....you get mind Sha......one more advice, be VERY careful with such a woman especially when I want divorce her or marry another woman.
Re: I Just Need A Family by lookingfly: 7:02am On Aug 14
udede:
there was no agreement with her not to have kids, i also noticed that she is hiding things from me especially reasons why she couldn't have kids.
what did you parents say during this period?
Re: I Just Need A Family by lookingfly: 7:05am On Aug 14
udede:
devorce with out evidence of adultry or witcraft is impossible in my church
continue in that church until the fate of the choir leader in dunamis church marriage befalls you.
Re: I Just Need A Family by extol1(m): 7:09am On Aug 14
omooba969:
Did you marry for the purpose of having kids?

Why always men from Anambra? grin
does what you typed make sense
Re: I Just Need A Family by YeePeyHaa: 7:12am On Aug 14
She might be an iron lady.

Those kind of women who are iron ladies love to be the boss anywhere they are and hate being the subject

She knows very well that she will be dependent once she has kids and doesn't want that, that's why she doesn't have kids.

I have lived with one like that. To be honest with you, in our compound of thirty people na this woman dey rule all of us oh. If she said make cockroach no pass, honestly all the cockroaches will hide in their holes that day.

There are also other reasons too, may be disease or health status, may be she is a sickler and doesn't want to pass the genes to the child, then you can tell her to adopt.
Or she doesn't have the knowledge of raising babies.

And so on and so on
Re: I Just Need A Family by Artzdanielsz(m): 7:19am On Aug 14
Sirqt5:
Divorce her , then marry another woman
Do you know if na the wife dey take care of him. Cos real Igbo man won't hesitate to divorce the woman immediately than waiting for 10 years and seeking for advice on a faceless forums

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