XTHRONE:



Lol, is all logic girl, what is good for the goose , is also good for the gander. The man is weak and a simp for allowing a woman dictate in the affairs of his Mom, such nonsense can't happen around me, na she go dey beg me to invite my Mom.

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Amumaigwe:


Why can't she stay with those 3 older siblings since the OP's wife marriage is strictly between a man and his wife?

frozen70:


I understand how you feel about her treatment to your mum and eventually she passed on because she didn't get the care you have planned for her due to your wife refusal to cooperate with her

Now it's her mums turn, just allow her to come the one let her provide her needs while you focus on the family needs as usual

What she denied you off is what she is requesting your approval to get, such is life

Your refusal may react to another thing

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

cococandy:
ah I see we are operating with the outdated assumption that he’s the sole provider. Do you people not live in the real world where men and women are present in the workforce in almost 50:50 ratios?



Again with the financial assumptions. Ask the OP if his wife is financially dependent on him.
This argument fails every time because most of have never and will never be sole providers

cococandy:


Why can’t you do it?
Why caregivers? Are you hands broken? Are you too slow to learn how to do it? What’s the barrier that’s stopping you from doing it?

That’s literally the point I’m making. Y’all think the job of caring for your loved ones are beneath you. I’m actually embarrassed for you. You’ll do anything to get out of being responsible loving children to your parents. Some of you marry so you can have wives that will care for your parents. When that’s not available you use caregivers if you can afford it.

Because of the assumption that as men you’re too good for it. Imagine having kids like that. Poor old parents

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

shantti:


Why didn't u answer my question.
Why did u switch to accusations of being emotional since you have no other tactics

Samantha124:
Who were you expecting to nurse your mother had it been she stayed with you guys until she passed away?

Your wife?

shantti:


And yet u are the one ranting.
No clear logic, no deductions, no facts, just rallying around this thread and ranting about. Kid steer clear

ozalogbo:
I am the first child of my mother, and I have two younger male siblings. I am doing well financially. My wife is the last of four children in her family. My dad died when I was still in the university, and this affected my mum.

However, as she aged, her health waned. She was a retired teacher. My brothers are not in the country. Both of them are in Europe. I wanted to have my mother stay with me in her later years because of her health and loneliness but my wife did not want it.

Whenever she was ill and I brought her home to be with us, my wife was usually hostile, especially if my mum had stayed beyond a week. She did not hid her disapproval, and this caused problems in the marriage. People advised that I should send my mum away and pay someone to live with her and take care of her. They said that marriage was between a man and his wife, not between a man, his wife, and his mother. I did and peace returned. Eventually my mum passed on after a few years.

Along the line, my father in law also died. And down the line, my mother in law's health began to deteriorate. We live in the same town. Among my wife's siblings she is the only one doing quite well. Now there are suggestions that the mother should come and live with us so that my wife can give her proper care. I believe that her living with us and seeing her grandchildren will help her. And indeed i have no problem accepting her, but when i remember the treatment my wife gave to my mum, there is a strong revulsion, in fact, anger in me. I shared with a friend, and he advised i forgive my wife, but the revulsion is so strong that i would feel cheated if i agreed.

What do you guys think. She reminded me then that marriage was between a man and his wife only. Shouldn't this also apply to my wife now?

clockwisereport:


No be when e affect my parents. I no dey carry those people play

akinbodma:


Best advice
Welcome her mom, while you also switch character after 2/3 days of her arrival

Let her use her imagination
So she can remember it’s a man and woman like she also said before

emmybobo1:

I pray in your old age all your children should abandon you with chronic arthritis

Neweramify:
Op your wife was wrong, but try and understand her fear. Most women feel inconvenient around their mother inlaw. Not because she hates her mother inlaw but for the fear of the unknown.

Let her know how you feel knowing she wanna bring her mum in when she rejected your mum. I'm sure she will feel remorse of her action.

Permit her to bring her mum, cause if anything happen to the old woman, she may accuse you of one thing or the other.

Freeko4:



You're not the man of your house, you never wanted your mother to stay with you in the first place that's the reason you had to succumb to your wife.
Your mother will be ashame of you whereever she is.

Now same reality that played out before has repeated again and you can't still decide.

Man you're us*l*ss.

Justbehave:
They are staying with me in my house right now and are being well taken care of. Even my 3kids are with me and not with their evil and manipulative mother's that I paid to have kids for me. I don't need you women in my life.

pocohantas:
18 pages and counting.

Pheeew!

Just as biologically I’m supposed to meet your mom today and develop the same level of love for her that I have for my mom who sacrificed all her life for me. Very logical

I said that’s USUALLY the expectation. Not my personal conclusion. Comprehension is key. OP should feel free to correct that if it doesn’t apply in his case. But based on stats, women are the ones expected to do the caregiving. It’s based on facts. So tell me where my emotion is coming from. 🤨

he paid for someone after his wife said no. Your point?

Start by telling me why some of you don’t reason past the f behind a moniker? The moment you see f, that means the person is being emotional and all the Ms are being logical . If you know anything about logic you will know that it’s not gender based. But you don’t. You assign logic by gender. Literally defeating the meaning of it

Zupay:


For you, marrying a second wife has always been your solutions to a man's marital issues.🙄🙄

Ojady:
Please do not let it happen. A precedent has been set, let it remain that way. Not out of revenge over what she did, but for the sake of "your" family, "your home", your children...marriage especially nowadays, is continuous work on you, on your wife, both of you together. When a 3rd party is involved, you both now have a 3rd contributor, to your affairs and that is what the devil preys on (remember Eve). You can support but not under your roof, do not let the older siblings come and dump her at your place, it will give them reasons to come to your house anyhow under the guise "we come see Mama" which will never be only about Mama, add on jealous innuendos with unnecessary and unavoidable snooping around and spreading your business all over.
Support the elder siblings through your wife: buy provisions, pay some Bill's, get a nurse, arrange pocket money, visit often...anything but not under your roof. #IHaveBeenThere

cococandy:

pocohantas:
18 pages and counting.

Pheeew!

Mrbllymer:

I think you didn’t read the whole story where he said he’s financially buoyant, that alone should give you a perspective or narrative that he’s taking good care of the home and not dependent on the lady’s earning.

In this 21st century men mostly take care of the home in regards to provision(financially) , not saying women don’t contribute especially in this country.

What stops her from allowing her mum stay with her siblings and with your assumption, then she can be sending money to her siblings to take care of her ?

I can categorically tell you in Nigeria today, 50:50 is a dream and doesn’t happen in 90% of Nigerian home.

You can put through a survey on nairaland to ascertain this claim.

cococandy:

I’m glad that’s working out for you. I think men who agree with you should explore this option more often.

If you don’t mind me asking, why are they not with you? Does it have something to do with your ability to care for them outside of putting money on the table (which anyone can do BTW)