Stevenbright:


See don't get into what is not your business.

Although, if truly the mum current husband is the one who took care of her and raised her up till this point, then he is the one who you should relate to because of the responsibilities he has undertaking on her.

But again, on the other hand, you need to also find out the real truth just to know it not because you want to accord her biological father the fatherly role but to make sure her mum was not the problem vis-a-viz taking the child from her biological father illegally to another man so that you will not be at the risk of getting married to someone who can do such wicked acts to you too.

Micheal56:
Please get this clear
Your father is the one that take care of u not the one who gave birth to you

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

PrimadonnaO:


Interesting. Did you have a stepfather who received your bride price?

Or your father's relatives received the bride price.

Sirtee19:
Think of it this way, what if in the future, something health wisely that is life threatening happens to your wife that requires the blood of the man for your wife to survive?

DrDunamis:

You want to marry her or you want to question the character of her mum?
You said the mother remarried, she's got a step father who was there doing the taking care of part so why are you going to look for biological father?
What do you intend to achieve from contacting him?

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

Sirtee19:
■ Think of it this way, what if in the future, something health wisely that is life threatening happens to your wife that requires the blood of the man for your wife to survive?

Ukmummy:
By Akwa Ibom tradition, it is mandatory to see the biological father of your fiance. The people here are comenting based on their ignorance of our tradition and you know the truth too. It is called "mbet" meaning taboo. In order not to have problems in your marriage, the mother should know better. pls go visit the biological father as the tradition demands with a bottle of hot drink and give him the father's rights for your own peace of mind. He does not need to be present at the ceremony, thereafter, honour the step father with the real father of the occasion. Good luck.

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

complexstuffs:


No one asked for your own personal experience

xavuv:



If i were you,i would discard the lady and mother together. What bitterness!

They should let you go and see the biological father, just to show face and rub minds. Even the step father should come in and make them see reasons for you to go and see the real father.

Such a fiancee is full of bile, understandably implanted in her by her mother. That bile will still be there for you to wrestle with when your time comes.

She will show you shege.

tiswell:
emotional attachments over issues doesn't allow sense of good reasoning.

How did you know that the father hadn't tried to see them?
.How do you believe the mother's version hook,line and sinker without being part of the story yourself ?

What if they are hiding the real truth from the OP,for him to later find out the real truth when it's rather too late?

Abeg rest,issues like these are very very complicated.

MetaBroadband:


And what if your biological father was deprived of that privilege and responsibility either voluntarily or involuntarily?

Do you think it would be just to keep on denying a man of his own blood?

Don't you think that when she's up against the tradition that it would now become my business?

Kobojunkie:
But sperm-bank donors are also living fathers. Or are you the one whose mind is not able to stretch to include that given what you made clear? According to you and a lot here, the woman's biological father — which includes sperm-bank donor fathers — is to be honored in this. So why are you hesitating to allow that?

Octopusssy:

Wise and salient questions

Micheal56:
Please get this clear
Your father is the one that take care of u not the one who gave birth to you

Kobojunkie:
It seems you don't respect your fiance at all, and that there is a major issue as far as your relationship. Are you certain you are ready for marriage at all?

She said you shouldn't do it, so why do you think it your place to carry wetin no be your business for head? What gives you the right to disturb those waters? Because you want to marry her?

IamMobisola:


Funny enough OP would never be able to know the truth because he can’t say for sure who will be saying the truth especially since he never knew the father. The mother and daughter said he abandoned them, if the father also says the mother took the child away from him and it’s a lie, what would he do? Believe him? And still go ahead to invite him for the introduction against the wishes of his fiancé?