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Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. - Romance (7) - Nairaland

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Please Advice What To Do Here / Advice: What To Do With My Boyfriend / Guys What Will You Do In This Situation?(pics) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by rickleye: 4:04am On Jan 03
dkidd:

Na so problems dey start oo but my people nor wan gree. She must marry him by fire by force. Money can do a lot of good YES but it doesn't guarantee a happy and fulfilled home. Most girls today will jump at the opportunity and try to kill two birds with one stone later on in the marriage only for the matter to cast anyhow then we hear married woman found with her ex lover or DNA wahala. And people will start blaming her because she's well taken care of by the husband. Even if eventually she doesn't even cheat on him everyone deserves to be happy na... No be her fault say the guy fall for her but it will be her fault if she frustrates the guy in future because of pent up frustration and sadness over the course of time. No one deserves to live like that abeg. Life short oo

I hear you and understand where you are coming from . However, the ratio of men to women out there does not favour a woman to disqualify a man due to outward appearance. At a certain age we all settle for marriage. So if she feels she can do better then go ahead and let him go but her comments come across as being childish .

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by anifranci(m): 4:23am On Jan 03
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Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by OlawaleBammie: 4:42am On Jan 03
Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.

I can seeeee

Someone with a paid job will not run away from his job just because of a man..
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by sonofthunder: 5:47am On Jan 03
Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.



Maybe he disgusts you because he gives you all what you don't deserve yet hence you perceive him as weak.

You are crying out now because you believe you might come around and bend over to his desires.

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by giacomogiovanni: 6:13am On Jan 03
osayuwamwen:
One thing I will advise you as a married man from experience is if he does not smoke and doesn't drink, and he's not a dwaf asin like akin and pawpaw and he has a good source of income to carter for you and you sure his intentions are genuine my sister don't think twice accept him, na money they run marriage forget all this your heart fantasy that will disappear within 1year in marriage, marry peace of mind not fine face and height, people wen they better and more beautiful than you they go shilo they pray for watin u they regect so
Excellent advice but majority of young women won't accept this- not at that stage of their life anyway.
I don't really blame them. Their mentality and lifeview at that age is still wrapped in fantasy and ideals.
With time, clarity and reality will dawn on them.
You want a guy with height, good looks, 'swag', who is, at least, comfortable financially and good in bed. Guess what? So do other women. These kind of guys have options. They are in demand and have their pick of girls. And they know it. You on the other hand, are just an average young girl whose value is directly proportional to her looks and youthfulness. As those fade with age, your sexual market value and your power (as well as all your 'shakara') plummets. There's nothing special about you. You aren't more beautiful, richer, or more intelligent than the other girls he has. What most likely happens is that he uses and dumps you. And if you refuse to learn, so will the next guy of your 'spec' until you're 40 and have been run through by so many irresponsible deadbeats, just because they made your pussy tingle. You'd now be looking to 'settle down' and offload your baggage on the same 'mugu' you detested when you were younger.

3 Likes

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Bluntemperor: 6:36am On Jan 03
Fahvvy:
A man possesses the qualities of a good husband and you disqualified him all because of his looks? undecided...
He provides for your wants...
He treats you well...
He puts up with your excesses...
And yet his only issue is that he's not tall enough or fine enough?
When have you ever heard anyone saying that it's a man's height that makes the marriage work? Or it's his fine face that makes the marriage work? undecided...
This is how y'all women will pass on, on men that truly care for you for irresponsible men, simply because these men don't meet some ridiculous physical standards that you have in your heads undecided...
Truth is that the things that make marriages work are not physically based, they're majorly character-based undecided...
But it's your call undecided....
Since this is a deal breaker for you, then tell him off undecided...
My most sincere prayer for you is that you know what you're doing undecided...
If you're a believer, you should seek the face of God on this matter undecided...

GBAM!
Beautiful You bro!
Our women Standards will never be God's Standards because women are mostly driven by emotions!
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by ssogundele(m): 7:01am On Jan 03
wis3:
Refund everything he has ever spent on you undecided

For where? That gender will never do such. Why even collecting things from him in the fist place when you know that you don't like him? Most of them are wired that way.

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Watcharena: 7:04am On Jan 03
akube34:
I don’t understand. Should she marry who she is not attracted to? See the first is attraction. Others comes second
you're that is why some women their boyfriends will turn them to punching bags on monthly basis but they can't leave because attraction Wich is the most important thing is there other things are secondary
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by franco3075q(m): 7:33am On Jan 03
Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.

Dey play, u go old 4 house

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Ashawoman82: 7:38am On Jan 03
Shugavee:
we’ll i had genuine intentions to give it a try but Couldnt do it
abegy, stop deceiving yourself a girl knows what she wants just by mere seeing the man.

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by jossymekoos: 7:40am On Jan 03
Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.



It's so sad that you think feelings has a role in marriage.

Normally, someone should desire to be with a partner with right qualities but this generation put emphasis on physical appearance forgetting that physical beauty will vanish in few years

3 Likes

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by femi4: 7:41am On Jan 03
Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.

Girls like you always end up with the one you like but he will turn you into a punching bag. You will need to listen to your brain more than your heart in marriage

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by iguita: 7:57am On Jan 03
This is the best case scenario, in real life, ne them dey full Shiloh in 10 years time, disturbing God with prayers. Na because of their prayers God never get time for Nigeria development.

duduade:


Leave her oooo
Na her type dey end up with fine man nothing for pockets... They also end up feeding and taking care of such men....
Attraction is her main focus...
We have so many ladies and men who belong to her group....
Everyone's priorities differs...


Please OP be quick about telling him honestly how you feel about him and let another lady who will appreciate his kind and generosity nature in addition to his face and quirky height quickly find him
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Goldbw122(m): 8:04am On Jan 03
Most girls are just after the money simple.
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by ogbenimax007: 8:07am On Jan 03
Vinnie2000:

OP Animegirl, don't Date or Marry out of Pity. sad

Tell that Man to his Face, that you are NOT interested.

A Girl has told me before 'I really love your Personality but I am not catching Feelings as I like more Religious Guys'.

I did NOT die, and he will not!

Men handle Rejection very well, unlike Ladies. undecided undecided

So Tell him off and Date ur Spec! smiley
yes oooo you are my type ....

Now i prefer to knw my faith in you within short time then waiting or trying to buy the feelings you don't have
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Sucre7: 8:24am On Jan 03
Tell him the butter truth and he would leave you be. You are showing little signs that you are interested that's why he is still around thinking you would give in sooner or later.
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by cardoctor(m): 8:26am On Jan 03
Just like that
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by blahc007: 8:34am On Jan 03
How do we start educating men that you don't use money to buy love....

This guy must have seen signs that this girl doesn't like him, but he keeps pressing on.

If this sister agree to this marriage...this man go suffer emotionally till he enter 6ft below.

Sister, I blame you for chopping his moni and now u no wan continue....abi u no believe say de guy go reason marriage.?

Well, jus let him know you are not emotionally ready to handle marriage pressure...
Em go jejely leave u...
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by anu3: 8:49am On Jan 03
blahc007:



How do we start educating men that you don't use money to buy love....

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Fahvvy: 9:06am On Jan 03
Mayplays:
So bleeping what? Is all you wrote what keeps a marriage together? Attraction is very important, that’s a no brainer
He’s attracted to her, that’s why he’s doing that
She’s not attracted to him so she won’t reciprocate the care and attention
Leaving him to find who loves him like he loves her is the best thing she can do for him, she is literally disgusted with him and you want her to pretend and reap the benefits his real life partner is supposed to

I don’t pray for any male in my family to meet a person with this kind of mentality, no offense but you sound like a user, Abeg advise her to let him go so he can find the love of his life

I don't take offense to what very "bright" people have to say tbh undecided...

And if you had taken time to read and understand before you came crying on my mention like a crazed goat on heat, you would've seen the place where I wrote the following undecided...

But IT'S YOUR CALL undecided....
Since this is a deal breaker for you, then TELL HIM OFF undecided...
If you're a believer, you should SEEK THE FACE OF GOD ON THIS MATTER undecided...

But I guess this flew past your head undecided...
You must really have a "high" IQ grin...
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Fahvvy: 9:09am On Jan 03
malvisguy212:
she made it clear, she did not love him. of tomorrow she cheat on her husband, you'll be the first to cast a stone on her.

I also made it clear that "if it's a deal breaker for her, she should tell him off and prolly seek the face of God on the matter if she's a believer" undecided...

I guess you're too "bright" to see that undecided...
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Shugavee(f): 9:11am On Jan 03
Kloenboi:


Hmm!
I just hope you don't regret rejecting the man later.

It's always good you seek God's direction first before this your taste of the kind of man you want
marriage is not a criteria in life , my happiness comes first and marriage is not a sure means of happiness. If I were a liability I won't have left him but I did cause I can take care of my self
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by jattopeter(m): 9:21am On Jan 03
Dont mind her . Indeed some ladies married a man because of what they stand to gain. Imagine , She doesnt want to tell the man so that her daily bread will not stop.
superintendents:
madam nothing like he can't let go, tell him the bitter truth,the earlier the better,stop wasting his time and his spendings

angry sad

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Fahvvy: 9:23am On Jan 03
Pharaoh4rin:


You seems to be talking out of experience.

My remaining 3 girlfriends are something else: two are
One of them is extremely beautiful but she smokes
The 2nd person is equally as beautiful as Ini edo but she's dirty,
The third one from the north is not as beautiful but has the best shape in the world. She has the character, respect for herself and a thoroughbred but she's not as beautiful as d other two. With what you said, I may have to rethink, cus I'm a cruisechamp and I don't know... I don't know...

A lot of folks quoting me don't get my point...
I'm not saying beauty and looks aren't important, all I'm saying is, beauty as compared to character, doesn't hold so much water undecided...

And besides, beauty can fade in a heartbeat (skin infection, accident etc), but character usually won't fade way just like that undecided...

So why pay attention to something that can easily fade away in favor of something that is likely to last almost a life time? undecided...


Also, children spend more time with their mum's than with their dads. Which means children are more easily influenced by their mum's than their dads (remember the law of association?) undecided...

So ask yourself, is it beauty that will raise my kids or is it character? undecided...

Putting it into perspective
If I don't want my kids to be smokers, I don't marry a smoker for a wife or be a smoker myself undecided...
If I don't want my kids twerking online and showing their bodies, I don't marry a woman who sees nothing wrong in twerking and showing her nu.des online undecided...

I know kids can go astray and all, but I think you get the point undecided...

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Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by sirblend: 9:33am On Jan 03
Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.


I would have loved to know your age.....
But I believe the age gap between you and him is much.. You are much younger than him..
Most ladies under 25 years are still leaving in dream land and are therefore selective..

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Mayplays(f): 9:38am On Jan 03
Fahvvy:


I don't take offense to what very "bright" people have to say tbh undecided...

And if you had taken time to read and understand before you came crying on my mention like a crazed goat on heat, you would've seen the place where I wrote the following undecided...

But IT'S YOUR CALL undecided....
Since this is a deal breaker for you, then TELL HIM OFF undecided...
If you're a believer, you should SEEK THE FACE OF GOD ON THIS MATTER undecided...

But I guess this flew past your head undecided...
You must really have a "high" IQ grin...
Insults have no bearing on me, get an education, some exposure and learn how to get your points across succinctly without the use of abusive words then maybe I’ll consider you an actual human being
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Mayplays(f): 9:45am On Jan 03
jossymekoos:



It's so sad that you think feelings has a role in marriage.

Normally, someone should desire to be with a partner with right qualities but this generation put emphasis on physical appearance forgetting that physical beauty will vanish in few years
There are people that are happily in love in their marriage and are experiencing bliss, some people want actually want that too, not everyone wants to marry to fulfill a societal obligation, not everyone is the same

There is time for everything. If she hasn’t attained that maturity yet, there is nothing that will make her happy in that marriage

She needs a few years to learn some lessons if that will be her path or she might meet the love of her life along the way and live a bliss filled very happy life


The problem with some of us is that we think what works for us should work for others. If I had listened to my mom and gotten the kind of man you described, I would not have met the love of my life that I’ve been with for years… This kind of love is irreplaceable and cannot be matched
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by selfmadeOLX(m): 9:46am On Jan 03
Nice guys finish last. Stay wicked kings!

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by ArcSEMPECJ(m): 9:56am On Jan 03
akube34:
I don’t understand. Should she marry who she is not attracted to? See the first is attraction. Others comes second

While then does she find his money and care attractive but doesn't find the man attractive due to his resemblance with Tinubu

What name should we call her?

Bring up one name abeg....am tired of ladies that like the money but dislikes the spender..lols

1 Like

Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by jattopeter(m): 9:59am On Jan 03
Funny like if you had anything to do with him , you will come out and tell us. Pls tell us another story joh.
Shugavee:
my dear don't go for what you don't like, no matter what , make sure anyman you date or give your body to is a man you like, money and care is important but he should be someone you like. I don't take this for granted.

There was a man who wanted to marry me also , very single , very generous and rich tho he had matured kids cause he's an advanced man, many women would be so happy to have him considering how rich he was but i didn't just find him attractive , i tried my best but i just couldn't have sex with this man , he literally feed me, gave me weekly allowance and other things I needed, i tried but i just couldn't . Now we don't talk like we use to but I'm so happy I made that decision upon all the pressure inside me. Don't force yourself
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Pharaoh4rin(m): 10:16am On Jan 03
Fahvvy:


A lot of folks quoting me don't get my point...
I'm not saying beauty and looks aren't important, all I'm saying is, beauty as compared to character, doesn't hold so much water undecided...

And besides, beauty can fade in a heartbeat (skin infection, accident etc), but character usually won't fade way just like that undecided...

So why pay attention to something that can easily fade away in favor of something that is likely to last almost a life time? undecided...


Also, children spend more time with their mum's than with their dads. Which means children are more easily influenced by their mum's than their dads (remember the law of association?) undecided...

So ask yourself, is it beauty that will raise my kids or is it character? undecided...

Putting it into perspective
If I don't want my kids to be smokers, I don't marry a smoker for a wife or be a smoker myself undecided...
If I don't want my kids twerking online and showing their bodies, I don't marry a woman who sees nothing wrong in twerking and showing her nu.des online undecided...

I know kids can go astray and all, but I think you get the point undecided...

Yeah. I gotcha
Re: Please, I Need Advice What Can I Do In This Situation. by Tynaclem1: 10:25am On Jan 03
reddingtonblack:




If the man decides to flaunt his money in her face you can't blame the woman, sometimes we Men can be so foolish when it comes to pussy matter ... even when red flags is as obvious as traffic light at maryland round about

A gurl that is angry just seeing his face will definitely put up rash behaviours that should trigger a rethink in the man's head but some men think "Money" supercedes everything

Men that ignore red flags deserves whatever heartbreak they see, as long as the lady made it clearly she is not interested chop his money naa god sent father xmas

Sir/ Ma read her post carefully, she has only being "rude" to the man which some men see as initial gragra before the woman mellows down. I doubt she has clearly and specifically told him she wants nothing to do with him if not he's not stupid he would have left her alone.

The op is not being honest with her self and she sees him as a mugu all because of his money. If she really wanted him out of her life he would be gone by now.

That a man is generous to a woman financially doesn't mean he should be taken for Granted or as father Christmas. He is just part of the already dwindling population of men who still believe a woman should be pampered, showered with love, care and money and treated right.

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