BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

Your child? Is he not his child as well? Please don't use this your mentality to deprive your son a better life please.

noskcid:
I cannot drag a child with anyone, if you want to eat him or her alive you are free. If I want to see my child I will see him or her, na the child go even Dey cry, I want to see my daddy 😂
Me wey get doings, na people go dey find us no be we!!!

Kill yourself ontop my comment you hear 👂

Exactly 👍

BlackfyreRebell:

What of a motherly influence? he just under 10.
The fact that he is being deceitful is what I dont understand. What if he takes him there and cut all communication with me? what if he fills his head with things he resent about me and I lose my son's love and affection?

What kind of a man is ur ex-husband? will you be comfortable to release ur child to him? If he is a good man and u can trust him with d child, fine. If not, let ur No be No.

1TrippleCee:



You are completely blind to not see what the father is doing here with such a comment

I don't think you are in a correct and stable state of mind to advice anybody. Your paranoir is top notch. You are more paranoid that the Op.

flexyrule:
When I read your response, I had to go back to my initial post to see where I said "the man wants to expose him to harsh treatments from his new wife... "

Well. I didn't

......
Well, I think the father means well.... I say this because I'm In an almost similar situation....
I had a kid with a lady who almost turned me into a pauper...
We went our says.... I got married, moved to the UK with my new family...
Now I'm telling my first kid's mum that when she's 5...I'll love to bring her to the UK to live with me so I can give her a good life....
So If the man meant well for his son... The woman should allow him go... After all.... She said she has 6 kids already and are all grown... We don't know how many the man have or if he even have any apart from this kid in question.... I think it's only fair the woman le the child go.... She should go to a lawyer and draft an agreement... Whenever she can afford it.... She will be allowed to see her son at will... Failure for her ex husband to meet up with this term will lead to him forfeiting custody of the child... She must also know where the child is at all times..... This includes their current address and direct access to him Via a mobile phone...... I am sure this can be settled amicably

1TrippleCee:
You are completely blind to not see what the father is doing here with such a comment

Don't project yourself on the father.

1TrippleCee:
Lawyers are not as expensive as people assume. Find and speak with a lawyer. Moreso, your son needs you, not an European visa. If he wants to get his son a visa, he should begin with the guardian first, in this case, you the mother.

You are a woman and a mother. Trust your guts, you are your prophet

1TrippleCee:

Your son needs just God and you for a brighter future not Europe o. Boys without maternal care in Europe in this early formative years will only amount to a gangster. Its better he is Godly and you grow at the pace God wants for you abeg

See as you are misleading the op. Besides, male gangsterism, criminality, and other dysfunctionalities are disproportionately a result of fatherlessness and the lack of strong masculine presence.

His mother and god are not necessarily sufficient. God is nonexistent and doesn't help anybody. Also, why shun good external help? Why should she make things harder for herself? This is how women use their insecurity to spoil things; if the child struggles and doesn't reach his full potential and exposure, she will never accept blame.

@BlackfyreRebell
Let your son go. What you are fearing won't happen. Just make sure you are communicating with your son regularly when he get there. Don't spoil good thing.

1TrippleCee:



Your son needs just God and you for a brighter future not Europe o. Boys without maternal care in Europe in this early formative years will only amount to a gangster. Its better he is Godly and you grow at the pace God wants for you abeg

Mentality!

Take her along as his sons mother, if he doesn't want that, then he should be ready to forget her child.

Nokio2:

Take her along as what?
His Son's nanny?

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. way.

Follow the advice of your fellow entitled women.
The boy learn the truth when he becomes a man and see how his step siblings are doing well abroad.
A man will always look for his father and learn the bitter truth.

Well release the boy to him, but let him know you won't be happy with him if he tries to deprive you from seeing your son or deprive your son from seeing he's mum.

It's as simple as that.

LilMissFavvy:
Take her along as his sons mother, if he doesn't want that, then he should be ready to forget her child.

Lol when he takes legal action against her she'll be the one to cry at last.

Entitled broke,!diot everywhere

It's a good opportunity for your son. You can make legal arrangements for how you will be seeing your son periodically. Better still, go and be with your husband. Divorce has no place for children of God and vice versa.

Intergrated:
Don't be selfish madam. Your son is also his son too let the boy have a good life.

Don't mind them jaree.
The woman wants to eat up her child's destiny simply because of insecurity.

Howbeit, a boy raised by only a woman will become a half man.

Dingbat..... . I mean take her along as his sons mother. If he's not ready for that, then the OP should be wise enough to block him permanently and change her phone numbers. She should change her home address to cut off from him, with that he will never see her son again.

aktolly54:
Take her along after divorce? What did you smoke? Since she can't endure her marriage,she should 3njoy the divorce

Itooweak4una:
Don't mind the advise of this one. Your son needs the influence of strong father figure and if he can't get it from his biological father, i don't know where else he would get it. Besides, this is an opportunity for your son to get the hell out of this zoo called Nigeria. I'm quite certain he'd be grateful to you and his father in the future if he's successful. If you refuse, he might resent you in the future especially if he's not well to do in the future.

You have said it all. Don't mind her and others giving her foolish and childish advices. The painful thing is that if her son's life gets adversely impacted by her decision, she won't accept any blame. Mtsew.

A son needs his father to become a sound, disciplined and stable man.

BlackfyreRebell:

What of a motherly influence? he just under 10.
The fact that he is being deceitful is what I dont understand. What if he takes him there and cut all communication with me? what if he fills his head with things he resent about me and I lose my son's love and affection?

He is not deceitful. You are the one that thinks he is deceitful. As I said, women should stop projecting themselves on men. He won't do anything to your son.

1TrippleCee:



Your son needs just God and you for a brighter future not Europe o. Boys without maternal care in Europe in this early formative years will only amount to a gangster. Its better he is Godly and you grow at the pace God wants for you abeg

BlackfyreRebell. Please ignore the advice above. Yes, your son needs God. A male child needs his father to be nurtured well. My best advise would have been co-parenting. Single parenting is not good at all. But I don't know what caused the separation.

Kindly do not let the bitterness of you guys' separation influence this decision you are about to make. Consider importantly if your ex husband has remarried, and if so, can the stepmother treat the son well? Those are some foundational questions you should put into perspective when you make your decision.

Note that, there are so many people you will ask about this and they will advise you wrongly. Not everybody wants the good of your son. This is an opportunity for the boy if his father means well for him.

Enskynelson:


Here the deceit:
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father.

Deceit is not in words but in intent. He said wants the son to get a European citizenshjp- true but what is his intention with that? Has he told the mother that this boy will be coming to be living with him?

I am not saying the mother should not agree, neither am I saying he has no right to his son. What I am saying is that, the mother need to know his sincere intention and both of them should work on agreeing what is best.

Here's what you are ignoring in your quest to be correct. First, to get citizenship, the child has to live in Europe (the specific country). To justify a minor going from one country to the other, the child who is 10 has to have parental consent and a familial destination to arrive to. What better justification is there than to say the child is going to reunite with his father?

Anyone with working common sense wouldn't raise objections on this. If she has raises the child well so far and with respect for both his parents...the child will constantly keep her up to date with activities abroad. At ten, of the child has been raised right and does not have developmental issues, the child should definitely know how to reach his mother directly with a phone. The only reason she should fear is if she has been lying to her son and is afraid that when he gets there, he'll find a different reality.

Kaido:

She might be a rebellious lady. See her username na

Wahala, your mind dey there

Namaster:
You sound like a closeted demon.

A father is trying to guarantee a BETTER future for his kid and the only thing that crosses your mind is that he'd manipulate the kid against you?

Is that what you've been doing since the divorce?

You disgust me.

ALSO, the kid is still a MINOR. If you don't sign a consent form that states the kid is going to the European country to reunite with his father, what other explanation would you give for a 10-year old traveling across the ocean?

Realize this:

If you stop that kid from getting the citizenship of a country that works because of your own fear and insecurity, the kid will HATE you with an hatred that burns like a thousand suns when he becomes an adult.

Apt it as can be.

He is the one who relocated to another country, and she's been keeping the child. The child is just 10yrs. He cannot win any legal action against her, not possible. He can only win if the court found her incapable of raising the child.

tollyboy5:

Lol when he takes legal action against her she'll be the one to cry at last.

Entitled broke,!diot everywhere

Your son will never forgive you if you deny him of a great future because of your feminine selfishness and bitterness. It's not just your son, it's also his son and you both have 50/50 right of access to him even if you were given full custody, this is time that you put his interest first.

But as an antinatalist, I'm not surprised by this level of selfishness. Breeders are the most selfish folks you can meet. Pretending to breed because you love an unborn child and emotionally blackmailing them with fake fake love when it suits you

BlackfyreRebell:
Please advice me
My ex husband and I are divorced 2 years ago. He recently acquired an European citizenship, he also wants to extend the citizenship to our son. Though I thought it a good idea but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to use that to take him away from me.
He told me our son will need to come over there to finish the process of his citizenship. But when I went to submit the "application" what I saw on it is different from what he told me. The paper read that I am consenting to my son to go and reunite with his father. Or is that the way they process it?
Please those that have gone through same should please come to my aid, this is my only child and I can't afford to lose my child this way.

Let me help u with two examples in the real life I knew..

Example 1. The father took the boy to the UK when he was 10 some decadesago.. the mother had to agree since they both owe him and the future sake of the boy.. today the boy is a citizen and he personal work to finance his mum welfare and feeding..

Example 2. The mother hold unto the boy till he was 16 and rounding up his ssce... the father came and took the boy and moved to the UK some decades ago.. today, the boy is a British citizen... his currently taking care of the mother welfare and feeding back in Nigeria also with his step siblings...

So you hold unto him or not... when his 18 or almost.. he will definitely move to find a better life... not for him alone... but for you the mother...

If u let him go now... he can start working on his document to secure citizenship in few years

If you let him wait another 8 years... it means altogether he needs around 8years to wait for that ride to better country...

In all... you let him go now or next decades... when the times comes... he will definitely take care of you and will never forget you...

God will take control of everything... just pray to God for understanding

LilMiśsFàvvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

BlackfyreRebell:

Thanks

Well, at 10, your son has passed the age of mother's nuture. Let him receive masculine training and handling (and exposure) at his young age. Don't wait until he is eighteen or twenty, it is not right. The father doesn't have to take you, since you both are divorced. By reason of divorce, he doesn't owe you anything. He only has obligations to his son. As a good father, he is planning a future for his son and wants to raise his son.

I know you won't listen because your feelings will be more important. I pity the boy.

ChybuzzDD:
She's not the sole owner of the child and can't be the sole decision maker for him

This general female's possessiveness with regard to children needs to stop.

Women always think they own their children much more than fathers.

Pecoleee345:
Women will never stop to amaze me......take her along ??

Like she would have take him along if she the one?

You people just feel entitled to everything despite them been divorced.

At you minding her? The father has to obligation to an ex-wife.

LilMissFavvy:
He is the one who relocated to another country, and she's been keeping the child. The child is just 10yrs. He cannot win any legal action against her, not possible. He can only win if the court found her incapable of raising the child.

Who told you he has not been contributing to the life of the child for the past 10 years?
He's ready to offer the child a better life and better education abroad of which she cant do so herself without help or child support!
He will defeat her azz and it will be worst for her.
Except she can prove she has the capacity of which naturally entitled ladies are sure to have close to nothing!

LilMissFavvy:
Don't release your child. You should only allow the boy to go when he's 18- 20yrs. If you release your child to him, he will definitely manipulate the boy and cut links with you. Keep your child. What stops him from taking you along? Be wise.

she is ex wife...take her along to go do what?

He's taking his son.

Zonefree:
[b][/b]
Stop using "my child" when his father is still alive.

Very selfish statement at that... As if na she poke herself get belle