₦airaland Forum

I good ex-hoe is better than a rotten vrgin anyday.

@ okija-juju

If u want to be insultive to vees, why not choose the right terms atleast? Dirty is hardly a characteristic to describe a vee. Now, If u used 'dirty' to describe ur ex hoe of a girlfriend, with whom trillions of dicks have found a haven, then we wud be in business. Heck, you dont even know if that mad man you see on ur way home everyday has 'been there' too. Now that, is what I call 'dirrrrty'.

I actually wonder if this thread is to insult vees or something.
@namzy

Manners is ok cos virgins dont exist no more

Of course, they dont exist in that deluded world u come from!

Being a Vee isnt a guarantee of a good wife, agreed. But dare u deny that there are vees who are decent characterwise?

We are living in morally corrupt times and kudos to y'all for castigating virgins and blabbing all about the place, instead of respecting the views of those who have taken a stand to remain vees till they are married. y'all shud be civil enuf to respect the way people choose to live. For y'all that think being Vees is overrated, u will understand just how overrated it is when u have daughters of ur own, who will be screwed by your driver after being picked from school, shined by ur houseboy on ur own matrimonial bed and banged by her fellow school boys in empty classrooms. Cos this world wud soon degenerate to just that. Then come back on dat day and tell me its overrated.

hmmm, its really different strokes for different folks. there's alot to learn from answers and there's a tip to be picked out from all posts(well, most anyway).

@ fs
yeah, we can sometimes be too hard on ourselves. But our society is wired like dat. We are expected by society to do some things by a certain age and if we dont, then we're questioned and its like something's wrong with u once u havnt achieved those thins yet. I have an inkling of how the poster feels, and every lady out there does too.
@ poster
U r in THE situation of knowing how serious this guy is and how dependable he is. In other words, u wear the shoe and u shud know where it pinches. Like I wrote earlier, U shud be able to have an inkling of what he really has in mind and that shud affect ur decision. But I'll suggest u watch out incase u meet someone serious.
Do u have a mentor for ur realtionship? U shud have! Talk to ur mum 2. She's older, she's wiser and will tell u d truth!

@van der jo.

Am sorry I jumped to the conclusion of your dream woman being all about beauty. Good women r still out there, more than you will ever believe. I dont want to go into stories here, but good women are out there!

Are you perfect yourself? Well, u have to be, b4 u ask 4 dat in others. Ol' boy, wake up from ur slumber and bust dat dream(where am sure u see a 34-24-34 nymphet, who will have a couple of kids for u, but will still have beyonce's shape and will still be a freak in the sheets afta a hard day of ur kids hassling her) and open ur eyes to reality. Nobody is perfect,
Have u ever had a case where a dream becomes a nightmare? Well, dat is what will happen if u keep seein dis dream lady of yours. She will quickly become 'Gazulla' b4 ur very eyes!

It cant trap evrybody o. It could backfire and a girl expecting to be a MRS so, so and dreaming of stacking those two rings on her left hand could suddenly become 'after one', with extra baggage and no Mr Right in sight.

Whateva is happenin now that you're just dating, multiply it by 1000. Yeah, that's marriage. If he's treatin you so bad now, girl, he's settin u on fire wen u are married. A relationship isnt always perfect, but if its too imperfect, u may decide to X it. A word( or should I say 'a sentence') is enuf for the wise.

Hmmm, This is SAD . Its a very touchy issue. Pls tell ur frnd to take it easy sha,(though I know its not easy). Because if anythin shud happen to her, she has only cleared the way for her rival to 'siddon chop'.

good luck with that plan of yours

When a person asks for ur advice and u have nothing to say, then [say nothing] and stop trying to be a smart a**! >:

(

Wait till thy kingdom come sef!
No wahala

You must be high on something. That's so insensitive of u.

My bf and i hav been dating for the past 5 years when we were in university.the truth is that we love ourselves so much but we are of thesame age and he is not ready for marriage for the next five years and by dat time i will be around 3o years.please advise ,should i wait?wont i be too old for him at dat age

Dear, If u were my sister, I'll give this same advice- Dont wait! (for 5 years)
A year or two is ok though.
I wouldnt advise you to wait five years cos we all know how guys can be. If he's not ready to settle down, babe, he's not just ready. If a guy is serious and loves you, he wouldnt want to put u in a situation where u have to wait till you're 30 and what solid proof has he given that he's not goin to disappoint u along the way? You're also worried, thats why u came here wit ur question. Follow ur intuition cos u urself know that its not advisable. We girls always know, unless we want to deceive ourselves.

Cheers dear!

Do please forgive me, but I fail to see what the problem really is, what does she mean by compactibility. Is possible to love someone you are not compatible with? Are there any two totally compatible human beings? Love sees beyond issues of compactibility, how does she know is more compatible with the new guys. Its funny, but i hope she is not using compactibility as a synonym for rich or wealthy.

@ myjobman

Well, you're quite forgiven for taking the compatibility issue to the issue of money. I wouldnt be wit this guy in the first place if money was number one on ma list. If I held money so dear, my dear, I wouldnt be here asking these questions. I would have followed money tay tay.
What I meant by compatibility is; Someone you could live 'jeje-ly' with, in peace, cause your characters dont disagree. Bt u might not have this overwhelming loving feelings towards the person. You just like the person, shikena. But you can spend ur life with the person, cos ur characters dont ignite like petrol and fire, causing the household to explode in fight and malice, thats what I mean by compatibility.

good reply

@Salsera- Thanx. .

what's ur fear abt where both of u are right now
when u say ur moving in different directions what do u mean?

career wise, location ?

@ Salsera
You are soooo wise and perceptive, u've said it all, Gbam! It must be cos u're a female too, and so you understand where am coming from. Very soon, me and my man are goin to be on opposite sides of the earth. And we cant make our commitment legal or formal right now. So I might end up waiting years for the time we can be together or I can try to move on and just get another guy am compatible with who is around my enviroment, but which I dont love, cos I love my man.

may God bless you and the family that brought you to this world. may God bless the womb that carried you.

@JJYOU
May God bless ur family too, one love!

@Woodpecker Thanx

think in my own opinon the original poster of this topic is not sure of wat she wants she was like dey are compactable and love dem selfs but she thinks they would not go a long way. i would like to ask her if they hav love and compactibility for each other wat else would make them nt last long, is their something she is not tell us or is there any were her BoBo is found wanted all this she has to let us no.

Thanx, E-jaja.  But I know wat I want in my life and I know I care deeply for my guy and he feels the same way 4 me too. But our lives are goin in opposite directions right now, thats why am doubting if I shud stay wit him or try to move on(though its not going to be easy).

the fact that the bf does not have sex with her does not make their relationship great

Thanx too, Salsera. the relationship is not 100% perfect. but its a great relationship, I must confess. Its a give and take relationship, there's no take, take, take without giving back. My bone of contention right now is that, we are doin different things right now with our lives and in the end, it will affect us. Because two cannot walk together unless they are goin to the same destination. That's why Im wondering if I should stay and see what happens.

Well i dont think you can actually fall in love with someone
if there's no compatibility.

Its like u can, tamai. Bet u know the whitney and Bobby brown story. they loved but were not compatible! And in the end, Love wasnt enough to hold them together.

And posts seem to be targeting MY virginity which isnt the real issue here. It was just mentioned in passing to give a clear picture of who I am and what I stand for. I dont go around flaunting the fact that I am a virgin(nobody knows me here, thats why I said it), its a personal decision which is just between me and HIM who is all powerful and all knowing. Cos Nobody knows more than I do that virginity doesnt guarantee happiness, neither does it make me a good wife and neither does it mean I get a 100% man. However, its something that is dear to me, something intimate which I am only willing to share in the confines of marital lif , and I do hope that God will bless my efforts.

And to those who remind me we are in the 21st century, Boy, do I know that! Cos a girl doesnt get more 21st century, than ur girl right here. However, I dont remember reading anywhere that -
                            "[center]Hear thee, Hear thee! At the turn of the century, NO virgins wanted in the world[/center]!"
Nah-ah, I neva saw that anywhere.

And for those who insist that I do away with chastity,for me to get experience so that I become excellent at 'doing it', I got somethin 4 u, baby. I only said I was A 'V', not an ignorant girl who doesnt know whats up. For ur information, I dont plan on 'dulling my husband' ( God bless his soul, Wherever he is, whoever he is) just because he married a virgin. I am a learner and I read voraciously, and I know basically everythin I need to know in the ways of loving (though I know them by theory). With my husband, what I lack in knowledge, I'll make up for in enthusiasm. And we all know enthusiastic students are the best learners. I will be ready and willing for his loving, wherever, whenever, Il be in love with his lovemaking!

Honestly, d replies so far have been so supportive and encouraging, that I feel touched . Even though the replies are few because the thread is not one of those attention grabbing headlines, the few who actually took the tym to give their own little advice, make me feel lyk I'm still on the right track. All ur advice is appreciated and noted. .

Hello, y'all . Am a new girl in the house. I came to nairaland for something else but I was seduced into joining just by reading the interesting(and addictive ) stuff you guys bring up.

I grew up believing in love and I kept myself chaste all through my teen-age years, in the hope of finding a true love at the right time. It wasn't easy, but because I'm also a natural introvert, I did it. I was(and still am) d good girl, and while in school, a lot of girls(acquintances) would always advise me that I was letting my beauty go to waste by not taking what men had to offer. I bore everything and still held on to my virginity, because I reasoned it would be worth it when I meet my man and then he would cherish the gift I have to give. 

I love my boyfriend who I have been going out with for some time, we are in love AND we are compatible, but there are indications our relationship might not work out, though I could still stay and watch and see where it takes us. Now my friends are advising me to pick one of the compatible men asking for my hand( who am not in love with),as it is more realistic and that I would eventually grow to love the one I pick. I would love to get your opinions.






NB- This latest addition is only being added today 6th of Feb, days after the original post. People seem to have alot of questions. Well, I have replied u guys on the 2nd page. Its been so nice seeing this issue from so many different perspectives. Really appreciate evryone.

Well, seems like good news! As long as the police force didn't arrest the wrong people! . Cos we've all read one time or the other of the wrong person being arrested for a crime, or being the victim of 'accidental discharge' and then labeled a thief.
but I still have belief in our police force. Because, when I reported a case to them, they rose up to my defense even though I was only a poor student.