₦airaland Forum

d post is for my friend. Tnx.

@kc
il definitely luk out 4 d buk, thanx.

OP
since u're here on the internet, asking that question, then u definitely know somethin's not right. Cos we women often know 'wotsup' bt we usually choose 2 ignore that God given gift of intuition. BTW, U shud find out what caused the divorce with the ex and the type of plans he has for u.
CHEER UP THO!

hmmmn, this is serious!

@ all NLANDERS
wow i must confess that i'm really learnin thins here. Personally, i think men care alot about respect. Some dont even believ in love but care very much about getting their due respect. And funny enough, respect is enough to keep some men feeling loved.
please, dnt leave this thread without leaving ur own quota on this very congent issue as its proving 2 b very educative 2 us all. Also, dont forget 2 vote at the polls. GOD bless y'all.

OP-
like degubi said above, there r many ways a weddin can appear stylish and expensive witout it being so actually. U can get cousins 2 do the cooking and guard it jealously frm the meat stealers, delegate her female frnds 2 help her serve (wot r frnds 4), get nice lukin but not so expensive aso oke (for the trads cos afta d weddin, ul only use it on rare occasions), rent a wedding gown 25k (she'd b d first wearer at that amount), get a frnd 2 do d makeup, u dnt av 2 rent a hall, make it outdoors, rent tents and so on.
I kno of a girl who had a nice weddin dat way.

@havilla-i get u. Personally,i think when a man is in love, he wants to show u that he's capable of cherishin &takin care of u as his wife. D issue is nt evn creditin ur fone or payin 4 your hair. D issue is that he hasnt seen it fit 2 buy u a little somethin in 3 YEARS!!! What marriage is he talkin about? Marriage is abt sharing and it luks lyk he doesnt hav a clue on hw 2 do that. Evn if he's takin care of his mum, shudnt he learn 2 balance tins btw mum &g/frnd? Hav a gud tink, my dear. And hav a talk wit him.
Because even ur parents wil be watchin surrepticiously 2 c if he's a giver b4 giving their blessings dat u shud get married 2 him.
By the way, does his people know you? R u absolutely sure u'r d only one he's dating? Men tend 2 be lax when they av plenty options.

nope, girl. Since u stayd with him for 4 gud years, i wudnt refer 2 u as a gold digger. What do u do? R u a student or do u work? A relatnshp is a give and take situation. I suggest you take note of hw he acts wit his pple. Does he take care of his mum, for exampl? Hav u also considerd that he is the type who wud only spend on his wife?My first boyfrnd was an extreme case of stinginess. Infact, our first valentine together he vanishd for a few days, no call, nothing, only 2 turn up a few days later, without a reasonable explanation and a droopy flower he pluckd near my compound. I hav sinc learnt my lesson. If u wnt sm tins done, u gats 2 do them yourself. Try and b independent.

Wot year did he give u d bday gift. Do u guys go out atleast once in a while?

@deniyor-i get what you're sayin especially with the illustration.

@all-it seems our men love love alot nwadays. please dnt 4get 2 cast your votes in the poll.

^^^my bad, we're talking relationships. Picture a girl dat disrespects her man, does dat mean she doesnt love him?

^ wot do u say about the naughty son who disregards his mum's admonitions? Wud u say he doesnt LOVE her, because he didnt RESPECT her feelings?

@mrs eve
ppl wear caps for hours max&men r on low cut so its al gud. A well fixed weave on d oda hand, cud stay on 4 a mnth. At which point it becomes a nasal offense to the romantic man, who wants to bury his nose in his woman's hair.

brazilian hair is the latest craze in naija. Imagine, wit all this heat,

Love and respect are two different concepts. The bible admonishes wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to love their wives. We know our Nigerian men like respect alot. But do they prefer being respected, more than being loved? Also, women put up with disrespectful poo in relationshps, al in the name of love. Whats ur take on dat?
I know dat d best type is wen love and respect work in sync in a relationship. But if as a (wo)man, you can't have d two from your partner and you had to choose one, which would it be? Love or respect, which do you prefer?
Your wise contributions would b very much appreciatd.

@ czarskit-

I humbly accept the accolade u have bestowed me with. Ashewos are human too, u know. Do u know why I won't dispute with u? because u're NOTHING!  :PYou are less than zero, nada, zilch. Your opinion is nothing to me. You are nothing but a faceless retard, dishing out his frustrations on innocent nairalanders. The squirming maggot eating up a dead goat is much more better than u are,czarskit, at least, its usefully cleaning up the dead stuff from the society.

Let me tell u d story of how u were concieved. Your mother was gang raped in the market place by a gang of mad men, who had just escaped from ward 7(so ur madness doesnt surprise me). In case u dint know about that, go and ask. And guess what, they cant even point which of the mad men's sperm got to her ovum first, so I guess to top it off, u're also a bastard!
Ha ha!

See your wide mouth, Blabbing about buying a planet. That could only happen in that deluded dream world u retire to whenever your madness comes upon u. Talk is cheap, homo, first buy an inch of land to plant vegetables b4 u talk of buying planets, u hear? That ur wide mouth could be used for more useful things, like sucking the pricks of ur fellow homos instead of misfiring here!

And guess what, I WILL NEVER EVER REPLY ANY OF UR INSULTIVE POSTS ON THIS THREAD AGAIN. DO U KNOW WHY, Because you're just not worth it. You are a waste of time and I gotta brush u off like the dirty little maggot that u r.
I mean, who trades words with a mad man(like u)? Why bother with a pesky little idiotic maggot?

Anyway, As from today, no more from me. I would be silent to all ur insults and see where ur madness will carry u.

I expect YOU to keep talking though ( i mean, I expect no less from a mad bastard).

Rant and rave, like the mad man u r.

Insult and insult if u like, like the retard that u r.

And I will laugh and continue living my life, no sweat. I cant waste a second of my internet time on u after this, sicko!

And I think you're due for a daily shot of the prick from ur gay friends. You've not been given a shot today thru the arsehole, that's why u r cranky. Go get laid, bee-atch!

You no get work. Abi someone don jazz you to give up the vee

@Tstark-
On the contrary, I do have a job (an excellent one if I may modestly add). Am thankfully in a mellow mood, after reading the answers of some gifted individuals and so I dont have to be bothered with the likes of u. Thankfully, I havent bn jazzed and I neva will. I neva said it was a true situation that happened to me. It was only a hypothetical question, my dear and daft friend.

[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#000099][/color]

ask for a renewal of the jazz for another 15yrs. (its too late for any other viable option)

@biina. OMG!!  :DI actually laughed out loud. As in, I cudnt controll myself! Girl, you're funny!

men if i was that lady,  I will Jazz outta the relationship the same way i've been jazzed in

@johnnygan-I feel u.

Abeg!!

I think I will pinch myself and pray it's just a dream that I was jazzed!

@secretz- Another rib cracking answer. Y'all r my kind of people. U try to bring the humor out of evry situation.[quote][/quote]

The answers have been so interesting and enlightening. And somewhere along the line, monogamy and polygamy popped up too.

Well, my views are that the bible shouldn't be used as an example, like Abraham had two wives. Because, that was the old testament. We are in a new covenant with God and that is why u and I can go straight to him in prayers unlike then, when u had to ALWAYS go through a priest.

We (especially penticostals) believe that Christ's coming has given us a new covenant with God. Hence, we speak in tongues and we can enter God's presence anytime of the month and not bother about uncleaniless of the body( a result of our monthly periods) and unclean foods like ham etc.

If u want to follow the ways of the old testament, can u handle it, if u were to be tested(liked ur mentor, Abraham) to sacrifice ur only son? That incident happened in the old testament, my dear. And if u shud try doin that now, to sacrifice a human, well, connect the dots!

Some people just have to open their mouth for the stuff within them to come pourin forth. Shitty people spewing out shit, it doesnt surprise me. If u don't like the thread, simple, get out of it and look for what suits u. Your opinions dont matter. Right now, some people's opinions are worth much less than the mad dog, run over by an overspeeding vehicle. I am definitely an oil well, rich and flowing(u wan try). in your life and even afta u're gone, u and ur descendants can neva, eva afford an oil well. We all know how expensive an oil well can be. Thanks, guy. I claim the prayer o.
Its like some guys are obsessive about the 'thru the butt' thang. I bet ur guys have been trying it out on u. More oil to ur butts, , em, elbows, i mean. And while u go about it, remember that homos are also at risk of HIV/AIDS.

@ bluespice

Thanx for the advice

i say it again im all for the censoring of this site


what ever made some asswipes on here think she ever wanted to loose her virginity?
she's complaining of how hard it is for virgin girls to remain virgins citing an example of the nincompoop that was jerking off while on the fone with her without her permission or knowledge
thats just gross and if u dont see anything wrong in the looser's actions ur as base as they get

@bluespice-tell em!

just loose it abeg make we hear word, u be vee kon be wetin sef

@youmour-I always read of how u guys thread of the fabubous love u make, the positions, the styles, how to have sex, how to increase libido, etc,  and not an eyebrow is raised. But God help if a virgin utters a word. Nairalanders descend on them like falling boulders.
So what's ur own now,youmour, that u r acting like someone bitten by a rabid dog? So its me who's in the wrong, ba, instead of addressing ur bros who without my consent, started a fone sex session.

its a shame the guy was jerking off on you, reading it was so embarassing,but again as the other guys said,wot did you think he wanted talking to him for 2hrs(and am sure it was a midnight call)
virginity is a virtue, don't mind these guys.afterall they all have sisters

@ unfaded- my guy, it wasnt midnight call o. Afternoon call, infact, around the time I started cooking midday meal. And people seem to think I called for it talking to him that long. I didnt want to talk to him that long. But he asked me not to drop, that afterall, he wasnt complainin, so I shudnt complain. I didnt want to be rude by hangin up on him. And he seemed like a nice christian guy at first. The 'stuff' happened towards the end of the call. We started by talking, then he toasted, then he heard my sister's voice and insisted on talking wit her(which he did 4 a few minutes), then he played his sax for me over the line, and we talked some more, and then the jerking off.

i think the poster just wants go get a story, these things only happen in american comedies. i doesn't really happen.

nice try though.
but still BORING!!

@segzi cres- Well well. Have u been under a rock for the past 30 years or what? What are the stuffs that happen over there that doesnt happen here in Nigeria, most times? Well, from MR TOASTERS voice on the fone, I know what he was doin. I've tried to make excuses for the way his voice sounded, but I cant come up with any, except dat he was wanking off. Av seen enuf of the monsters balls of this world, the sweet novembers and basic instinct, to know why his voice changed suddenly. I mean, this guy actually started telling me to talk to him in my native language, breathing heavily, his voice all shaky and out of sync. Network problems? P_L_E_A_S_E!!!!

i dont know why so called virgins jst wanna start up summin. i always say dat for the mee fact a gal poses to say she be virgin automatically dis-virgins her. see yur virginity is a tin of yur mind. yu posin virgins giv a bad name to true virgins. the fulfilment n d respect a man accords a virgin, is the surprise he finds wen he gets down with his gal and discovers shes a virgin. not wen all privates and harry knows shes a virgin alredy

go and sit down jo!

@ Isu ata-Me and my man have never discussed the vee issue. We agreed on no sex and that was all. Yes, he's gonna get his surprise on the d day. Who are all the dics and harry who know am a vee. Seeing me in public, can u point me out? I bet u do such nasty acts as the guy described dats why u choose to insult urself, thinking its me your insulting. Attacking me rather than attackin the issue. Well, u can go and sit, in that uncivilised place u came from!

omo, i can't run shows with vee ooo, niether can i get married to one. they are the worst if they eventually get out of hands in their matrimonial homes. i've got my slogan to that "text the real world before adjustment" lol

@ohaechesi-Well, good for you. Everyone does what works for them. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs. If it works for u, fine. Am definitely doin what works for me. And am ok wit being the way I am.

Vee Girl, Don't tell me you weren't expecting ''advances from him''
abi which kind play boy girl dey play for phone wey reach 2hours?
Seriously I think you should start seeing that as part of the distractions you will see if you intend towing the path of Chastity.
Besides,If you no see person chase you then something is wrong.

@ ifeleke- Quite funny. However, I didnt beg for the 2 hours day call, neither was I comfortable with it. I know what's happenin in Nigeria cash wise and its not a two hour day call dat will convince me he's are the right man for me. If he was dat Hot, he could have taken the money he used for the credit and run to the nearest hotel. It would have been beta for him. Its not the toastin part that is annoyin, its the fact that he was masturbating while trying to toast me. That is just gross!

Ladies, picture this.

You meet an older man and he's interested in you. You're everything he wants in a wife and he tells you. He also tells you he's ready to do anything for you. But you dont like anything about him. Infact, he repulses you. From his traditionalist ways, to his polygamist ways, to the way he talks, to his life ideals, to the way he looks, You hate everything (maybe except his money). And you decide to play him; to use him as a mugun and run for a man of ur choice when you've had enuf of his dough. However, you wake up one day and find five grubby kids running up and down the room, calling you mummy. Then the man comes in too, the wrapper tied across his waist is the same wrapper you have tied across your chest and your belly is swollen with a sixth child. He clears his throat noisily and tells you - Mama so- so- so when will my breakfast be ready! Woman, get up!
It dawns on you. The man has jazzed you into a marriage and you've been in it for 10 years. Evrything that has happened comes back to u. The way your mum cried when you insisted you wanted to marry him, the way your father threatened to disown you for marrying a man who was obviously his age mate. The way your friends snickered at u and asked if you cudnt find a man of your age range.
You remember your dreams of getting a masters degree. Your dreams of having two kids, a mansion, a young handsome husband, a dog and a cat, topped with vacations abroad. Looking around you, its obvious that those dreams are gone forever. In its place, you have a wizened old husband, five spoilt grubby kids and you dont even know where he has kept your university certificate. What would you do if (God forbid) u happen to be in that position?

Guys- What do you think of this scenario?

You are in a relationship with this paragon of beauty and she's 80% evrythin you want in a woman. She's loving, softspoken, Hardworking etc. In short, everyone around you warns you neva to let her go. They would all love her to be your wife. You start saving, hoping to take her to the alter soonest. Her people meet you, they approve of u.
BUT
Your landlord's impudent daughter has the hots for you. She has slept with other neighbourhood guys and she decides its your turn. She wants you and she sends signals to convey that to you. She flaunts her body to you, coming to your apartment with flimsy nighties and does everthin to turn you on.

One day, you decide to sleep with her and get it done with. However, you sleep with her and fall overwhelmingly in love(?) with her. You breakup with ur real girl, You start making plans to make the landlord's daughter your wife instead. To your family and friends, its obvious you've been jazzed. And all prayers and pleas for you to leave her fall on deaf ears. But years later, in your middle aged years, your eyes clear up. After a couple of kids, that is.

What will you do?

@MoneyRule

In my house,precisely on my bed.There's alot of peace for V's around dere

Funny


@Czarskit

[/Huh? WHICH VEES?! Hahaha. . . Oh! A*swise I guess. quote]

Czarskit, do u think I want to be like ur sister who wears pampers around town? No thanks!

There's no room for vees in a Hot market,except you are still in your mothers womb.Someone must get to soil ur vee password someday,Hate it or love it

@ tiniyata- Yes, am definitely waitin for the day my husband will take my virginity. Do you think I want to be a virgin forever? Am not a nun. Its just that sex outside the confines of a marital bed is wrong, wrong, wrong!

Lol I've been in such a situation before, gross aint it?

@ibkaye- definitely nasty and sick! A guy who is tryin to ask u out, and starts wanking while on the phone wit u, is definitely different from sweet nothings with your boyfriend on the phone.

This is so funny and outrageous. I couldnt help but share it with y'all. I always hear about virginity not being about dignity but being a lack of opportunity. And I always laugh, because I know it takes sheer will to remain chaste in our world today. It is not a lack of opportunity, virginity is about escaping all the opportunities that constantly rear up their heads, and its about taking a stand, to follow the straight path.

this is validated by an incident that just happened. There is this guy, who started asking me out. And he called me daytime, for about two hours. We were gisting and I was insisting he drop the call cos I wasnt comfortable he was calling me that long. I felt it was a waste of cash, cos we kept goin the round the same issues over and over again. I was in the living room, watching a movie and talking with him when I noticed his voice was soundin very strange. He started talking out of point and his voice voice was really slurred. He also started breathing heavily. I was lost for words as it dawned on me that this guy was actually 'wanking off' to my voice. It was nasty and disgusting. I asked him what was wrong with his voice and he told me that it was the network. My thots were "Yeah, Right and is the network responsible for your heavy breathing too and those groans u r tryin to muffle?"

I actually put him on hold and left the fone on the table and to allow him finish his 'bizniz' in peace. He didnt even know I left.

And guys still talk about V being lack of opportunity. As if naija guys care about opportunity or no opportunity. They create opportunities and they taketh by force. Can u imagine, even in the sanctuary of my own room, a randy guy actually finds a way to have some type of sex. phone intimacy. Its soooo hard to escape from premarital sex, its everywhere. Where can we V's actually find peace?

@ sweetpain

Our opening poster sounds idealistic. Its obvious she is not married. When she grows up she will understand these issues better.

In the meantime try and concentrate on issues of love and loving and leave the heavier stuff alone.


The 'heavier stuff' as you call this issue is what I might face when I get married. It wont hurt to explore the topic, dear. Yes, I might idealistic and I'm definitely not married. But dare you say that I dont make sense in what I have said? For how long should we accept wrong things as the norm? Is it wrong to demand for what's right from a spouse? I dont have to be married to know what infidelity can do to a union. It nearly tore my aunt's own apart. My aunt is an extremely beautiful woman. Am sayin that from an objective point of view, not just cos she's my aunt. You need to see her, to know what am talking about. She's beautiful, She cooks(hmmmn), she cleans, she's Godfearing and I know she and my uncle had a healthy sex life cos as a child, they used to do the whole 'disappearing behind closed doors stuff' that people in love do. She is just too much. But they had nothin. all they had was themselves.

But when money came, my uncle became Mr Cassanova. He came into millions and those small girls squeezed him for it. The source went dry when he lost his job and guess who had to suffer, my aunt and her kids. Those girls vanished like ghosts.
When it comes to relationships, I try to do what's right. I treat you with respect, stay faithful and put in my all (except sex till am married). And I dont think its bad 4 my man to treat me the same way.


most nigerian women are as bad as the nigerian men. i know you all dont go about admitting to sleeping around but truth be told the whole society is at it and it is obscene

@ JJYOU

That is why I wasnt one sided in my arguement. The talk was to both sexes.


And to the 'Dr Phil' who said the topic was brought because am sad and frustrated, Dont be a smarta** pal. If the smoke's too much 4 u, get out of the kitchen. The discussion is for matured people, who are interested in real life issues, not those stupid threads you delight in.

Its a normal thing that when I'm married, Ill have girlfriends by the side

The quote above was what a male friend recently told me.
Its a sad but true situation. Alot of young women go out with married men nowadays, its even now a 'normal trend'.
But why is it normal? What's normal about lying, cheating and taking what isn't rightfully yours?
What is right about a girl spreading her legs for a married man, all for financial benefits? In that situation, what makes her different from a prostitute? Is it caused by the level of poverty or is it just plain moral decadence?

What is right about a man forgetting about an oath he took before God and man (Remember, God takes oaths seriously) and exposing his innocent wife to dangers inherent with extra-marital affairs? What is moral about refusing to pay his child's school fees while spoiling one(or more) useless girl with the latest nokia phone!

And these married men, they become virtual 'mumus' in the hands of these small girls. A normal no-nonsense married man on a good day, would smile like the fool he is, as his girlfriend 'playfully' knocks him on the head and follows it with a 'loving?' slap, something he could never tolerate with his wife.

The main reasons I have been able to reach are that;
1. Some women(though not all) sometimes let themselves go once they are married. They become unattractive and no longer care about their appearance. They also refuse to be adventurous in bed, as their children take the place of their husbands. Ladies, it doesnt have to be like that. You can be beautiful, attractive AND married! One day, those children will leave and all u have left is - U and ur Husband! You are going to be in that marriage, an average of 50 years. U dont have to to look like what a cat vomitted and run from your class reunion year after year. It doesn't require money so much as it requires planning. Planning time, money, kids, updating urself, creating time for u and him to have great sex and other stuff that make married couples tick.

And P-L-E-A-S-E guys, enough with the stories of cheating because of protuding bellies and tied wrappers across flabby breasts. You know you can restore your wife back to her great self if u really want to! U can still court her like u did when u were dating, u can still be attracted to her like when u first laid eyes on her. U can still be proud to say 'that's my woman' , anytime anyday. You can stop her from sliding into the comfort of monotony and wrapper tying. U dont have to laden her with so many kids, and the few that come dont have to be in quick succession like goats.

God bless the faithful man who loves, keeps and cherishes his wife. God bless the woman who treats her man like her MAN and keeps him satisfied that he doesnt have to look elsewhere!

And for those of you, who delight in getting into married people's life, I have nothing to say to u. I can only preach that u change your ways.

!!!!