₦airaland Forum

nitrogen: (



i love this.

I had tears dropping from my eyes while laughing. So funny.

feflo: I have for sale my Honda Civic car, its a good car with AC (presently disconnected due to broken pipes) and its double door.
Check out the pictures taken on 26th April 2012. Its in use as we talk. The asking price is N160, 000.00
If interested, contact FEMI on 08023662352.
Thanks

Poster you wicked no be small.
If you connect a/c with this kin car ehn, I swear the car go catch fire instantly.

You dare bring this car to nairalan to sell?




SEUN come and delete this poster oh for wasting bandwidth!!!


The best I can buy that car is 7k reason being I will give my nephew who is a mechanical engineering undergraduate as a tool to dismantle and learn some few things on his own.

Came across this post over a year ago and still loved the message.

Ti*t for Tat that's the name of the game.




I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear, "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed Lips sealed

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

jay bee: A car depreciates in value the moment you drive it outta the forecourt whereas a G/F is potentially going to give you unquantifiable benefits in the long run.
I'd close my eyes and look at long term benefits over a car that can get stolen any minute after the initial purchase.

One chief or Aristo can easily also steal your girl friend away.

The only difference between a girl and a car is while the car takes you to everywhere you want to be, a lady take you everywher SHE wants to be.

A car is comfort while using the a/c, stereo e..tc, while a lady discomforts you with her nagging and demands when you are enjoying the above items.

When you fuel or car, repair or service it, it directly benefits you because you are making use of it. But while you spend for a girl, he isn't adding value to you. Instead she complains of how you are not doing enough like amaka, bukky and ramat's boy friends.

Akinagirl: I dont know why people think its normal or ok to deny your own child. Very wicked. How disgusting.

That's the most irritating thing.
Why deny or hide your own child.
She can one day even deny this guy as her husband if she meets a richer Chief that will lavish her with wealth.

Dual Core: People like you are the reason I thank God to have long broken free from Nigerian clients (in Nigeria) in my web development career and hobby.

You people never know what you want. Pure frustration.

And when the poor people work on your project, it has to be reviewed 10 times with totally new things coming up on each review. How won't he use a template (like he had other options*) when the description is vague?

*nothing personal, I have not known Siony here to be a web developer or a designer. He's good with templates and warez stuff.


Varies for future projects, enter solid agreements with people you want to work with. I recommend you post your jobs on freelancer.com (until these boys are ready to join me in creating a Nigerian freelance site) I get most of my full-time and one-time development jobs from there and you can verify every use there with their reviews. When you are posting a job be sure to post a full description of what you want and please be nice with your budget. No professional web developer will develop that your site for you from scratch for 50k. When you aim low with your budget you are asking the person you are hiring to aim low with his quality. Infact when someone you want to hire gives you a ridiculously low price that's enough reason to run away cuz you will be ending up with a re-used template.


I ran out of pop corn.

Well Dual core, I have known you since the very day you joined nairaland (the web section). If you don't know my background or how I operate then please be cals and don't jump into conclusion.


Read through and see how surprised I was with ridiculous prices he charge for a website. Either I am the client here or outsourcing it, just be calm please. I know where request/post is taking me. I wouldn't want distractions from people.

WeMaStEr: and for those who have projects for me. you can use ESCROW SERVICE.
ask and use any top-level member to be your escrow man in NL, pay to him and create a thread regarding the project. you can mail me details of the project. and after i finish the project. you are satisfied with it. then report back to escrow man that i did your job and you are sanctified. the ask escrow man to pay me.

Do a website for an Oil and Gas firm as well as a Fully Flash Fashion webiste.

Don't use template for me because I don't dig templates at all.

ASAP

Post the link here.

d king123: hello friends, i have a friend who feels that her hips and buttocks are too small,she has heard of an injection that can solve the problem but doesn't know the injection or how to get it.can some one help?

One man's meat is another's fish.
I have a friend that is crazily attracted to lepa girls.
Once a girl has small flesh (back or front) he is easily turned off.

We choice is totally diffrent from mine.



Tell her to find guy wey go dey chook am steady, 6 months continuous poking will bring out her whole shape and curves.

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]What girlfriends? [/color]

You don't have to shout. Just answer the question by whispering.

kilimanjaro: Let him understand a babe like that doesn't worth bothering about! Who knows whether the babe is even faking the love?

Was thinking so myself. But didn't tell hime anything.

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]Yes, i'm born again. . . Halleluyah!

[/color]

So what will happen to those your numerous girl friends?

WeMaStEr: bro.. believe me am very very upset now.. very angry now but not for my clients. but for that ''THIRD PARTY'' who don't have job rather than spoiling people's rep. secondly about the forum things. am not limited to NL..OK my work speaks for me and bring me clients. i don't think there's a firm that don't have bug/issues to fix. there are many ways i can make my doh, if no one contact me for site. i will build websites and sell. create a forum and give support to youth and upcoming designers. i will create a site that will pull me cash. several things i can do without this ''THIRD PARTY''. for everybody who knows this THIRD PARTY, please inform him to return back the domain account uunista.com back to my account ooo.. because from what am seeing here, this client don't know about the transfer. i tried his line but he's not picking my calls. madam varies1 call your BEST WEBSITE DESIGNER to return back that domain account or what i will do is not making posts ooo..

I will try not to respond henceforth (try I said).

You think good, beautiful and cheap design works will get you jobs and dough? Bro, you are dreaming. Every business man needs clients empathy, trust, referals. If you don't have all these things it will be as good as you don't knowing anything. Or haven't your heard of the terrible (designing wise) website guys that always bring the big bucks jobs for the so called gurus to handle.

You want her to apologize to you for what? Deleting her from your facebook, not picking her calls, not registering her domain or asking for a refund of money she paid you?

Slony, you are extremely confused and disorganized. I hope you don't take alcohol? Because if you do, it sure won't be good for your kind of person. Cus you sound confused even with your normal thinking.

I was thinking of even testing you with one or two jobs but you just proved to me how arrogant, proud and saucy you are.


Wish you and the poster well in sorting out yourselves on this issue. But I hope others have learnt a great deal from this.

Luchitec: @Poster
Your friend should run for his life, because his fiancee is a very dishonest lady.

He has discovered that but he still loves her (I think) from the way he is talking.

WeMaStEr: any i think and feel even see am tooo big for this. madam ufuoma u said u write me a mail, i don't know which email u write to oo.. and secondly, i didn't block you on facebook, i only deactivate my acc and now its activated back.

25k is nothing to me but what you did is far more than killing person. i dont think there's something you can do to me that will be more than this. thanks for all this OK.

i believe this will be the 10th time i will ask you to send me your account details. if you are afraid of sending me yours, then send any account details and say its you by text or on facebook. i will not continue spending my time on this anymore. like i said earlier. ask that Foolish beast who think he can spoil my rep to tell you who i am in the field of IT/Web design or you make your background check on me. i never and will never scam anyone. in fact i am the one to complain of many clients who are still owning me balances. but i believe this is not even best as an option to bring me here and trash out nonsense. you called my designs free templates? ooo.. each time i read your post i get mad and want to do something very bad. but i will maintain my temper. let me chk my email and see if anything is coming from you.

make i leave all this nonsens wey i dey read here jo because if i continue, i fit kill person.

If you talk like this to a "one time client" on a public forum, how do you expect to get empathy from future prospects and clients from this same forum with this kind of attitude.

Oga, your managerial skill is zero and the earlier you start working on it the better.

This isn't a forum where meat and pepper are being sold online. You are meant to be a website professional to help put people's businesses online.

If you threaten to kill all your clients because you are agree, who go gree get mind to patronize you.

WeMaStEr: bro.. you hadn't get the catch yet i believe. i told this NDUKA i call a friend to pay for the hosting while i was facing this issues. i give him my loving domian account username and password and also give him the hosting account and password. but to my suprise he didnt pay, rather transfer the accounts from mine to his. ( you see) same thing he did with herbalfasthairgrowth.com is the same he did to uunista.com. taking the domains from my account to his.

In as much as your friend Nduka might not be a good friend, you aren't a good person yourself.

If you had come out sincere and explained issues to the poster things wouldn't have generated to this extent.

To make matters worse, you just keep contradicting and complicating yourself with each post. Everyone have all said the same thing which is "Pay the poster her money back" or "deduct the one month hosting fee from the N25,000 and then pay her the difference as well as send her username and password to her". But yet it is one story after another insisting on how we don't "get the catch".

We all can't be so silly or biased that we haven't still "gotten your catch" now.


If I put up your mistakes again it will be like I am placing the bulk of the blame on you but truth be told, you can't succeed in business with this kind of attitude. You need to be more sincere (as in seriously sincere from start to finish), less desperate, less greedy, extremely truthful and communicative.


You are running this business like a means of immediate survival rather than as a professional.


Leave your friend out of the picture now and ammend your ways.


So Mr Andrew Slony John when are you refunding her money to her?

kilimanjaro: Same here.
@OP, most of these nowadays girls tell such lies alot, some don't even ever reveal it to their hubby. They would keep telling him the child is their parents last born.
@topic, how could one spend the remaining days of his life with someone he doesn't trust? Only fools do.

Has it become that bad?
So person now need to look for doctor that will run test on them to know how many children they have given birth to. Worst is that most of them have done abortion at least 3 times before marriage.

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]I don't have bad mouth. [/color]

Someone has taken over killz account.

This killz is claiming he doesn't have bad mouth. You wey fit insult everybody for this forum without shaking!

Or is this the new found born again killz I was told was in town?

Poster God dey oh!
Will you want your daughter to follow a sugard daddy? Well if you have a poor mentality I doubt if you will be against it.

sans59: Bump!! 470k last price ...if u can't afford it, stop crying and being a groupie on my thread hopelessly

Stop the "Bumping" so that your thread doesn't get to the top of the list and see if this same NO VIN, RIGHT HAND, MISPLACED WIPER POSITION, EUROPE USED car of yours won't still be with you in the next 3years.

I will pity you for all the stress of "Bump! Bump!! Bump!!!" You have been making all over to get noticed and buy you care (to be used for taxi) for N50k.

He just came over to watch the Madrid vs Bayern match and didn't even make me enjoy watching my team play (though we lost).

His parents are putting so much pressure on him to settle down this year.

He said even if he marries her, he doubts if he will ever trust her again (what sort of disunited union do you think that will be).

I haven't given him any advice though. Make them no say na me end 18months relationship.

I really feel for him though. Because under 24hours he has lost so much weight and become a shadow of himself.

varies1: Thanks to all of you who have sent me private messages, about taking on the project. right now I am so burnt , I don't think I will work on a website for now.

People are snitches.
Something that is yet to be resolved, people are already out to enter into another contract with a client that feels cheated right now.

Wemaster,
I am willing to give you free business consulting and a few web projects to handle (since you made it clear you want to build your business portfolio) on one condition and one condition only; Refund the @poster's N25,000 in full to her.

At this stage I will let you know what you need to develop if more of you Managerial skills rather than technical know how.

Do you use Php and Mysql, CSS, Flash Media (to build fully flash site) and other tools which will be discussed only after I see you make peace with the poster.

Wemaster,

If you hadn't gone silent (into hiding) all this while, I believe this whole issue wouldn't have escalated to this extent.

Sleep over it bro and please conclude to refund her money for PEACE TO REIGN. You might have had good intentions but you didn't go about it the right way one bit.

The issue isn't Nduka told her this or that, if you had communicated with her for those 2 weeks you went underground and hadn't deleted her from your facebook, whatever Nduka told her wasn't going to be relevant or of interest to her because she would have still seen you as the Honest fellow she initially thought you were.


We all need to start putting professionalism in whatever career path we take. Irrespective of if we have an office, dress corporate, operate from Victoria Island or Ikoyi. Whatever we do let's be professional. It appeared the whole contract here was carried out from lack of professionalism.

It appeared you were desperate to get the job done, and even went for as low as 3k (so surprising) for a website.

Wemaster please get a book by Krock - 80/20 principul and digest those words well. You really need to start reading to work on your managerial skills. The smallest of deals bring the biggest of Problems. FACT!


I hope and pray you both get to a compromise and resolve this whole issue.

I am glad I actually heard (to an extent) from both parties.

luckgames: "That's too big a situation to try to hide"
" DECEIT"
Lot of peoples hid lot of things thinking you will not find out
Say bye, bye to her sorry ass

He is really hurt right now because he is saying there was absolutely nothing he didn't open up to her about himself the very moment he made up his mind to marry her.

Idowuogbo: Acid, how many friends u get sef,all ur threads or comments na my friend dis my friend da, it's neva U!

God is watching o!

Why you dey step on my tail?
Seriously, if na me I go come out say na me.yeah! God is watching me.

sans59: Price is 470k ( non- negotiable), no point responding to this thread if u can't afford it.....this is not a bid

See your yeye mouth!
You still dey here dey do shakara.
Someone offered you 550k 2 months ago and there you were insisting on 700k last.

Mark my word, if care is not taken you will still sell it for 50k on this forum.

SAFO: Hell yeah hell yeah. If she can deny her own child, there's no amount of low that she won't sink to, too deceive your friend.

Is she igbo?

lol! @ is she igbo?

I intentionally didn't include her tribe and that of the man to avoid people taking it the tribal way rather than sticking to the issue on ground.

Maybe yes! Maybe No!! But that doesn't matter right now.