₦airaland Forum

I don't do any of that but I don't also think its wrong to find out what's up with your bf and what goldie said

Goldieluks: They are only seeking a closure. Nothing personal on that list up there. And if you don't want comittment, then don't go into a relationship in the first place. And to think the OP is female?? Blimey!

Wow! This debate is even more mind tasking. Good job guys.

[quote author=acidosis™]Getting ready for the day. . . . . . . . . 15%loading[/quote]go red team!

Wow! Not a sore loser so I'm gonna say congrats to my team and also to the supporting team.
@Ambeautiful, you were indeed a worthy opponent.

[quote author=acidosis™]AYAM FULLY PREPARED... Friday evening/night is a good time to start.[/quote]so a man is opposing? Interesting. Can't wait!

Sitting on the fence but tilting more to the opposing side. Lol.
Will be sitting happily on the side line...

LOVE is :
Patient,kind,humble and not easily angered. The words of an old song that I truly believe.
Now, can money make someone patient,kind or humble? The answer is no!
Love can also be romantic but can money increase the romance (not intimacy) between two people? I believe the answer is also no!(In my opinion)
Love is also supposed to bring joy and happiness but money can't buy happiness.
If I am right, why should one say that money sustains romantic love?

Back to base(Nigeria) we notice that some guys now think that the key to a girls heart is money and so flaSh their accomplishmets/wallets just after saying hi to a lady. In such a situation, some girls will accept to go out with them not because they are in love with the guy but because they are in love with his money. In this case, the guy spends as much as possible to 'sustain' this love he thinks he has found but no matter what, when this lady is ready to leave, she will! According to the topic, this guy has done all it takes to sustain this love but it(the love) goes right out the window.

Secondly, there is a reason why these guys have this mind set and this is because some girls are greedy,not ok with what they can afford and want fit in. Therefore you hear things like 'no money,no love','love don't pay the bills' and so on.
In my opinion, this is all wrong as two people should get to know each other before getting involved romantically or otherwise and not on the basis of money.

To further explain my point 'with love two people will be willing to work together to make sure it works out in the end' stated earlier I'll share a true story that inspires me.

A family Of 6 with four kids lived together in a little house. They barely had food on their table 3 times a day but no one complained(to the best of my knowledge)rather,the parents stayed strong, worked together day after day and now they have their own house, houses they rent out and can sponsor their kids in tertiary institutions.
This is a case of true love which I belive connot stand without romantic love. If this woman had said to her self 'he is not well to do and I do not want to suffer' would she have the beautiful experience she has now?
Also, this proves that no condition is permanent. The fact that one is still struggling now does not mean he/she will struggle forever. If one should wait until there is a steady flow of income to get involved romantically this can take a while and reduce his/her chance of finding someone who will not have eyes on the money.

I believe that it is now safe to say that money can't sustain love be it romantic or real.
With this, I conclude.

I hope I have been able to convince you(judges and audience) that money cannot sustain love.

P.s. To the viewers, notice that I used the word 'some' so as not to generalize or offend anyone.

AmBeautiful: Yes you can’t buy love, but you can use money to sustain love in a relationship.

If this was a generally accepted fact, we wouldn't be here.

My point is that even though each and every one of us is entitled to our own opinions, we have no say in this because Money is required to sustain a romantic relationship, whether we like it or not.Many reasons for many failed relationships and marriages can be attributed to three things and one of them is money.
I wonder how people can argue that a relationship can continue to exist without money, when of course we all know that making such a statement is contradictory.

Money can’t buy happiness, but without money to buy food we are unhappy. Money can’t buy happiness, but without money to take care of yourself, you can never be happy. Money can’t buy happiness but when you can’t financially help a partner, even you yourself, can never be happy, when you can’t meet such need.

@bolded,the topic is not a fact yet and therefore can de argued. SecondlY you should not force your opinion on us all by saying 'whether we like it or not' because we must not all view things the same way.

May I remind you that food is one of our our basic needs and that one will find a way to eat with or without love.
If one goes on a date, is it the food that makes him/her happy or the company? We know its the latter.

About having money to take care of yourself,can't one get a job? Gone are those days when men were seen to be the provider so everyone should try to be as independent as possible as we are not necessarily talking of marriage here.

I've alredy established the fact that helping your partner will not sustain the love with my short story in my first reply to you and pls note that its a real story.

On the issue of why rich people divorce, has the thought ever occurred to you that perhaps one party is still not satisfying the financial needs of the other even with all their wealth?

You have got to be kidding me! So hollywood A listers who live in mansions, get their pay cheques in millions and travel all over the world for vacations can't satisfy the needs of their partners? You really think so?

If love is so essential without money in a romantic relationship, then why have some ladies, guys, married couples now professional love peddlers in secret? why do people still patronize love peddlers, sugar mummies and daddies, in secret while professing to their church community, co-workers, parents and families, partners, husband, wives that they love their partners so much, yet are having hard se.x behind their backs for cash? Can’t they continue to dwell in abject poverty even as they are filled with so much love?

One word honey.. GREED! Everyone wants more and some will go as far as hurting the one they love to get more. Or you are saying that if there is money one will not cheat? Again, this is not true as you can find rich people cheating on their spouse.

Without money to sustain relationship, there would be no balance, even with love sooner or later that very test will come, then what will love do? Love would get broken and be converted to hatred and bitterness.

The only thing that ensures balance in any relationship is love. Without love, one can never be happy no matter how much money is given to him/her. And with love, two people will be willing to work together to make sure it works out in the end.


#one more post, please be patient.

AmBeautiful: My argument between real love and romantic love is not pointless, you know why?
Romantic love if not handled properly as it ought to be, would die a sudden death.

So my dear,explain to me why this so called 'romantic love' dies after all the money in the world is spent?

You have failed to realize that romantic love also involves keeping attraction between both parties constant. Then if you have only all the love in this world, can you tell me how your love can keep this balance? Believe me, money is one of those things that can keep things balanced.

You are always reminding me about the topic of this debate so let me return the favour. Its 'money sustains romantic love' and not 'money is one of those things that sustains romantic love'. If I'm right, this debate is about money being the most essential. So its then safe to say that your view is shifting.

Being unkempt, smelly, malnourished, dirty and tattered can kill attraction very fast. Money buys the things needed to keep up an attractive appearance.
The calls to be made to your partner, is it love that would provide the airtime, to make such calls?
The outings to the beach, the cinemas, the market ……… is it love that would provide the means to pay for the transport fare, the tickets and the products to be bought in the market?

Again, about the cleanliness,you do not get your hair and nails done,wear clean clothes and all that just for one man. You do not want other people to see you unkenpt too. What about work, a business meeting, dinner with the family and even school? Don't you need to look good in these occasions? One's life should not be centered on love alone.

Okay, how about this scenario, if one is experiencing difficulties in life and you need serious financial help from your partner and instead action, one hears “baby you know i love you so much”, does this make the problem go away?
People helping each other simply explains the term “I got your back” and it gives a warm feeling that any day anytime, there’s someone out there to count one. Showering gifts on your partner and providing some basic financial support can help in strengthening a relationship. Being miserly can be tiring and can cause a hitch in any relationship.

If you're going to help someone let it be help with no ulterior motive because the truth is no matter how much you spend,if the other person wants to dust up and leave he/she will! And that's just a fact.
Gifts are nice but does it mean that without them, they should be no love? Also financial support is great but does it mean that during a rough period, one should leave his/her lover?

Despite the fact that there are many other things to be offered in a relationship, you would agree with me that in most case “these many other things in one way or the other have a correlation to money” Take companionship for example; we all know what it means. Now when I and my partner are together, sometimes we may want to do stuff like getting some ice cream, going to the beach and so on…. Please is it love that is going to make all this happen? Or is love now the official legal tender of the world? It is not every time partners just want to visit friends, go to church, go for cheap and free programs or sit indoors cuddling up, playing ‘ludo’ and soaking garri , some special occasion calls for special treats.

Now, do you reallise that soaking garri is a treat for some? As a matter of fact,that is really romantic. What's
wrong with staying true to one's self?
Ice cream and other flashy foods will still go in the stomach and exit the same way right? To each his own. Take your partner out all you want it still won't guarantee you his/her love.

Here you go again trying to turn the topic, upside down. The topic never pinpointed if the man or woman should possess the money but rather is simply ‘Money is required to sustain a relationship’ I suggest we debate based on this. Whether you like to agree with it or not, in a relationship a man must spend his cash on you at a point in time even with you utilizing your hands and brains!

I tried to stay on the topic and yet you're complaining. Now, if I can make the best out of my abilities and cut my cloth according to my size why will I need financial surport? Most times,it all goes back to greed, people wanting more than they need and wanting to fit in. This is the reality in our society today.
Thanks.

Ps. I need more time.

This post was a mistake.

PlS extend the time. Network kept me from posting. Thanks.

@ambeautiful.
All this talk about real love and romantic love might be pointless because one leads to the other. And real love cannot exist without romantic love. That said, I hope you understand that this is not an argument between you and me but rather a general debate. So once again telling me that 'you have alot to offer and if I have only the body to offer its fine' is very irrelevant. Also,I never implied that in my post.

Back to the debate. I know that the topic is not all about a guy giving a girl but it can also go the other way round so i ask. How would you see a guy that takes money from his girlfriend in the name of sustaining love?
Note that I'm not against people helping eachother but this does not guarantee you an unending love and that's my point. Give guy/girl money, shower him/her with gifts all you want, when he/she is ready to live he/she will! So remind me again how money sustains romantic love!

I'm also happy to know you agree with me that they are many other things one can offer in a relationship that beats money (in my opinion). For example companionship. Again, give a guy or girl a million dollars and leave them to their own troubles and lets see how this love will be sustained.

And by hook up I didn't mean a one night stand I meant dating and that is true whether you choose to accept it or not.

Here you go with the personal issues once more, about me staying poor and reporting back. Sorry I can't because I have my hands and brain to utilize and not a man or love to pay my bills. About the cleanliness part you can refer to my previous post.

Thanks.

Can i reply ambeautiful's reply to my post before the scores?

Damn.. Can't feel my hand... Will post again after launch/dinner. lol.

I'm back once again to further explain my view.

AmBeautiful: Good evening Nairaland, I am Ambeautiful and supporting the topic ‘Money is required to sustain Romantic Love’

Before I proceed I will like to define the following terms ‘Money, Sustain and Romantic Love’

For the purpose of this debate:

money (Encarta definition) is:

1. medium of exchange: a medium of exchange issued by a government or other public authority in the form of coins of gold,silver, or other metal,or paper bills, used as the measure of the value of goods and services
2. denomination: a form or denomination of coin or paper money
3. convertible assets: assets or property that can be converted into cash
4. national currency: the official currency of a country

Sustain(Encarta definition) is:
1. nourish somebody: to provide somebody with nourishment or the necessities of life
2. maintain something: to make something continue to exist

It was not my intention to start this round with a tale but with the bolded I'm forced to.
A man fell in love with a young lady and decided to date her. This young woman had no one to help her further her studies and as a lover the guy decided to help. He paid her fees from 1st yr to final year and after graduating guess what she did? She decided to marry a 'better' man. Now this man tried to use money to sustain/make this love to continue to exist but did it stop her from leaving? I guess not.

Romantic Love is different from mere needs driven by sexual desire or lust. It involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire.
Romantic love involves three A’S---attraction, attachment and attunement

lets start with attraction. Now, seeing someone for the very first you can be attracted to the person sexually(lust) or otherwise. True or false? We all know its true so did you have to see his wallet or ride? So then its safe to say money has nothing to do with attraction.
Onto the next, attention. Back to my dictionary, this means the act of listening to, looking at or thinking about someone carefully. Again, this means that one can show attention without spending. Agreed?
And lastly attunement? Hmm well attuned is what I know and it is to be familiar with someone so that you understand and recognize them and act in an appropriate way. In other words its about familiarity. Again is money used to for this? NO! So whats your point?

With the above definitions in mind, anybody who still says that money is not needed to sustain a romantic relationship is delusional and obviously high on drugs.

now this is uncalled for as we are all adults and entitled to our opinions.

I hear a lot of people say that finances should not be a priority in a relationship, while a majority of women are quick to say, “Love don’t pay no BILL’s”.
However,I believe that financial stability from both partners plays an elite role when it comes to having a successful relationship.

Of course love can't pay the bills but what are your hands for?
Secondly we are still on romantic love and not necessarily marriage right? If yes then you are trying to say that no one shouldn date until there's a steady flow of money. Really? So a guy/girl still trying to find a balance does not deserve love and to be loved? This idea it totally WRONG!

People think that if love exists then money doesn't matter. Practically speaking it matters that you have enough money to spend on your partner and yourself. Your partner will be more attracted towards you if you have smart dressing sense or nice accessories. Money provides basic necessities like food, shelter, clothing, etc. I am not talking about luxuries, but certain basics are required.
When we love someone we need to make them happy and money is an integral part in making the loved one happy.

If you truly love someone the amount of money in the bank will not matter! Imagine a woman getting married because of money as often the case these days. She now finds herself falling in love with another man and cheats on her husband. Now tell me did the millions in his account stop her for cheating? NO!
Now, taking care of yourself has nothing to do with sustaining love. You clean up well for other reasons too. I'm not denying the fact that one can be attracted to looks but you said earlier that other factors contributes to 'romantic love'.
Ever heard of 'money can't buy happiness'?
Whatever happened to the little things like. Holding hands or even the simple thought that you mean something to someone?
If to sustain love, money is really essential then why do rich people get divorced?

@all you can't buy love.... Thanks.

Just got back... Will be posting soon. @sexkills can we quote opening statements?
Ambeautiful, I'm ready when you are!

[quote author=acidosis™]Adaeze is an intelligent debator..

I missed this opportunity.. hope to participate in future events..
#still watching[/quote]Thanks.

All protocols observed.
I am Adaeze003 here to oppose the motion 'money is required to sustain romantic love'
First, I'll give an authentic definition of love from the oxford advanced learners dictionary. Love: a strong feeling of affection for somebody that you are sexually attracted to. Now I don't know if its my glasses but I can't find money there so how can one say that money is required to sustain love?

Some frequently asked questions are as follows:
1. Is one surpposed to eat love?
2. Why should one approach a girl if he has nothing to offer her?
As a proud Nigerian I'll answer these questions with questions
1.Were you about to die of hunger before your boyfriend asked you out?
2.Must it be only money that should be offered? And also What do you have to offer? Your body? Can we all see where this is going? If no then I'll tell you. Its Sex for money!
Is this truely what my opponents think love iS about?

I'm happy that this debate is not just about Nigerians so let us move outside our box a little. We are well aware that in the western world two people can hook up without any knowledge of how much money one is willing to spend. Is this because they do not want to 'sustain' the love? Or because the women and men there are willing to work hard to meet their own needs? I can assure you that it is non of these because we all know that love is a feeling of affection or even attraction and cannot be affected by money.
This is my opening argument and I also hope to convince you (the audience and judges) further in the next round.

Does it really matter??

^Much better

^^ yea.. And uhm that was a joke.

Lol.. Cwazy peeps!

The fact that we're nigerians does not mean we r all poor n our parents are starving. Cos you are referring to nigerian girls here with no exception. #just saying.

berem: ayam tired of virgin topic!

Last time I checked,this was supposed to be a romance section and not family section.most suggested topics are family oriented. "Just saying"

no need to sound somehow na its just for fun. And it'll make a good debate..

None.. Buh my phone is free for all!

[quote author=~vicky~]*Apologizing can strengthen relationship
*Self-control crucial in relationships?
*How important is money in a relationship?
*Does stress dilute romance?
*Discuss: Can jealousy ruin a relationship?
*Can secrets hurt a relationship?[/quote]this is nice.
What about the famous/infamous topic. 'virginit¥, dignity or lack of opportunity?'. Lets make the debate official.

This topic is kinda in favour of those proposing because of the word 'sustain'. Anyway I'm in. Opposing.

How about this.. Is 'I just wanted to have s£x' good enough reason to cheat??

14 maybe...