₦airaland Forum

Happy birthday Jennifer!long life and prosperity!

berem: Lord have mercy! That's someone's c0ck garnished with spice! WTF!!

That's likely sand,not spice.

immortalvoices: I still can't survive it

Pls don't say that.you can survive it.at least I need to believe that I can.life has to go on,painful as it is.the sun will surely shine again.

immortalvoices: Heartbreak from the person you least expected that would break your heart

You ve said it all.

Valeree: Called my boo for 2days and he wasn't picking so I travelled 3hours 20minites to go and see him. Wen I got to his apartment knocked and he dint answer so I went around the window and called him on d fone and he was sleeping, then woke up and asked me to go back where I came from dat I dint inform him b4 I started coming, through the window without letting me in oh, I thot it was a joke until it was almost dark and started raining, I had to run back to the park and luckily I met the last bus available which I boarded and got home to my house around after 11:pm. Then he called me and said: I hope u went home safely dear, I almost passed out.

Hahahahaha.sorry.very sorry I laughed but this is absolutely hilarious! that guy can kill someone silently o.very dangerous.

I'm not exactly into the six pack thingy.fine its a good sight to behold but its definitely not in my first 500list of criteria for the choice of a man.

Mynd_44: Funny thing is that I know and I am there right now. But would I allow that control me? Hell no.

You will never find the right man until you become the right woman and how do you become the right woman, be strong and hold your head high. Invest in yourself above all else and every other thing will follow.

If you want to be loved, be lovable

Wow,I know this advice was meant for the OP but thanks,I really could use it now,especially investing in myself.I'm right there!!thanks a lot.
@OP,if u are heart broken,there's nothing wrong in grieving.its part of the healing process,but please don't remain there.find happiness in yourself,by yourself and somewhere down the line,time will heal you.you may even find someone special.goodluck!

sexymoma: NONE.... i rest ma head on the bed while ma nyash is up.

Hahaha.I actually know someone who slept like that in my secondary school.weird.lol.
@OP no 4 when the room temperature is ok,but no 9 when its cold.and when I sleep face up,I usually have nightmares.

django1: Who's she though?

She's an actress.

Very beatiful.I liked her dreads.she still looks good!

Elvis295: she looks piom piom

very funny.
With these options,jail is beginning to sound attractive o .how many years imprisonment abeg?
@OP,Seriously,losing weight is not child's play.I'm very happy for her.wow,what a transformation!!
And btw,if she's happy about her new look,whatever anybody else thinks about it is infinitesimally inconsequential.go figure people!

Youngzedd: Soludo or Onwa. No one else.

Onwa does it for me.I like that guy!

@topic,too bad of and for d boys.

@Zno,e don do!ogini di!

Point of correction@article.cameroon is in CENTRAL west africa.

Very hilarious people here.lol.
I don't mind anything but definitely not the silent treatment.I hate the cold war.it breaks me down emotionally.he can rant and rave and even hit his head on d wall and I ll just look on silently and even get amused in my mind but I can't stand d cold war.since he realized it,he took to d cold war!
When I'm angry,I walk away.come back when I'm cool and talk rationally.it works sometimes.

Fighting with water?whatever happened to macing and throwing chairs?don't they use mace in that their house?looks like childs play!

maxwello.yg:
Many ignorant and illiterate Nlanders should read and comprehend this thread very well.
I personally, drink the water up whenever I break my coconut shell, I eat the white part of the coconut with a roasted corn. What a nice combo! Who else has tried it? Testimonies please? Lol

Good but I prefer coconut and bread.very sweet!

yellowpawpaw: R u ibo? I guess not so let me try. They r a group of married and non married women from the same kindred.they wield the strongest force in igboland.once u marry,u automatically become a member.women that hv lost hope of getting married r also part of them.in other words they r called daughters of the soil.
My dear,no force can penetrate them,even born again! And their laws r final! Men dread them. Women married into the kindred behave well bc of umuada.if their member dies,what they will request from d family is a topic for another day.
May God help us from umuada.

Well explained! simple complaints from husbands like "my wife doesn't prepare dinner early" or any lingering issue,attracts a lot of tongue-lashing and fine from these women.hmm,dem go put u for centre like culprit o.then "umu ada ga agba gi ajuju onu"

Yoshi-Master:
I thought I was the only one that noticed that part.

Why are they still holding the person?

I saw on d news this night that they were holding the woman in protective custody cos d people wanted to lynch the woman.now,I don't know why the people would want to lynch someone who bought a fish!

re@lchange:
hmm i'm beginning to like the nigerian police more and more.
they look fit and trim these days.
where did all pot bellies go?
really good for naija.

Hehe,u just took d words from my e-mouth!these ones look so sharp,and smartly dressed.if only they can all look like this on a normal day,e for good o.

yellowpawpaw: God save me from them o! One of my cous wife suffered so much tremor from these pple when her mil died.
Can u imagine that her only sin was she didn't cry very well when she was entering her compd during d burial?instead of them to bury their sis jeje,they were observing everybody.after burial,the poor woman lost her pregnancy.nobody knew she was pregnant.enuf kneeling down and cryin and beggin.
Still contemplating whether I will join them or not.

Eyaa,so sad o.they do d same thing in my place o.I was shocked when my step grand mum died and I was in d village,I went out to buy something,these set of women were coming to my compound for d burial,I was walking right behind them and they were all laughing and joking.my dear,you can imagine my shock when they opened d gate and started wailing uncontrollably.I was like,haba,no be these women wey just dey yab themselves now now?I later asked my mum why d hypocrisy,and she said umuada observes those that don't cry.wahala if u no cry well o.d woman that died was sooo old,it should even have been a celebration of life.
Me,I avoid dia wahala o.just do d right thing,otherwise if your hubby report u to them,whether u join or not,they must judge d matter!

yellowpawpaw: umuada!those set of pple r the meanest I've ever seen! Why r they sooooooo mean?

My sister,those people eh,dia mouth sharp!!they can fine!!hmm "umuada-returning stubborn ibo women to their default setting since 1854!"

Achiles: Once again, I want to thank everyone for your support and prayers. It was a long wait, she laboured through pains and I wish I could share some of the pains. But now, looking at the little angel, a beautiful daughter she brought forth I am so excited! God bless you all!

Congratulations OP!God will provide whatever you need to bring up that baby.when it is time for her to crawl,talk,and walk ,she will.she ll do exploits in her generation,in Jesus name.Amen.

Okija_juju: [b]lol...

Peaceful or not, the risk is still very high. You are from Anambra State like me, didnt you see those boys (AVSG or sumting like that)? Didnt you see them with those pump-actions walking all over the place?! Why did you think the government needed to set up an armed vigilante force if the state was safe?!

Wether you waka or stay put, if they are ready for you, they will come. Its not my prayer o!! But trust me when I say the trauma your husband would suffer if harm comes to his two little ladies would be beyond this world. The villages are no longer what they use to be.. Being kidnapped by villagers is even worse. They are crude in their methodology and their victims are exposed to greater harm. If you believe in Juju, then thats another clear and present danger. The bad part of winching and juju is that it is wireless.. All they need is contact of some sort. A hug, water, food name it. The worst is poisoning. Again, you cant be too careful..


Next time, make sure you listen to your husband. He is your 'onye isi'. Like someone already said, you would be so busy at your sisters wedding anyways, so it wasnt really the best option dragging your kid along with you.

Now listen!!! Go home and prepare better Ofe Nsala & Ofe Onugbu with pounded yam (Not poundo o!!) for your husband.. You must pound that yam personally (As part of your punishment).. Now make sure you put the kids to sleep early.. Give them small doses of Lexotan or Actifed if necessary.. Serve the food with 10 litres of Nkwu enu palmwine (Best ordered from Enugu State).. Make either Ugba and Opkoroko or peppered Anu Nchi and serve it as dessert.. Go in and shower well, wear a sexy negligee and be on your knees by his side while he eats and the only words out of your stubborn mouth had better be;

'Nnayi biko gbaya lu'm'
'Nnayi iwe ewe na gi'
'Obi'm, biko mma'n me ya ozo'

Dont stand up until he literally stands and lifts you off the floor... DO this and hopefully 'Nabania.. Ife nine ga eme'..

The gods have spoken
And the gods are wise..




You can come to my shrine and thank me later!!

[/b]

Hahahaha,this is sooooooo funny!

Okija_juju: [b]Uju!

1. He didnt want you to do something and you went ahead and did it anyways... #This makes you a disobidient wife.

2. The fact that you come from a close knit family does not mean that you cant get hurt. As long as you cant see peoples minds, it best to be wary of them.

3. He wanted to drive you guys, SO WHATS THE BIG DEAL?! My wife who has driven interstate severally in the U.S, I still dont allow her drive interstate in Nigeria. I'd rather pay for a driver to take them. Plus you have his daughter with you. Thats enough reason to make him paranoid. Also:

_{YOU ARE A WOMAN.. And by default, a bad driver.. Its not your fault.}

4. You took your daughter to your village against your husbands advice and wishes, brought her back with a bruised skin, allergies and some injuries caused by a fallen mirror. What if she had died?! What do you think he would have done to you?!

If I were your husband, you will never go to the supermarket with my child ever again, talkless of your village. I would also ground you for a while for being disobedient.

Ibu Ada, and this behavior is unbecoming of an Ada.. And you are even planning on commiting future acts of insubordination sef..

Ichie Okija is displeased.. And to think I was actually considering marrying you back then..

Umu Ada need to discipline you..

[/b]

Lol@umuada. the fear of umuada's sanction is the begining of wisdom o.

@OP,you tried to have your way,it backfired you should end the quarrel and be agreeable so that peace will reign in your home.however,you can revisit the issue again but you have to watch the timing,his mood,etc etc.it may take weeks or months,just don't be in a hurry to "persuade" him yet,the memory is still fresh,he may vehemently kick against it.if you ask at the right time and with the right tone,he cannot refuse.As African women,we have to learn to "STOOP TO CONQUER".goodluck(and patience ) .

Amusaopeyemi: British people are modest sha, shebi na royal pikin we dey see free of charge like this, I remember when beyonce born blue ivy, we no see picture until after 2 month..

That's true o.I wonder whether dem don even show kim baby(north west) pic sef!

PortHarcourtBoy: Abi dem wan invent another style of dancing Etighi??

My thoughts exactly.dem keep leg and waist like people wey dey dance etighi.

If this is holy hug,I wonder what holy kiss will look like

Reminds me,back then in Uniport,they had uniport(face to face) and UST (side hug) styles of hugs.very funny.

$ugardaddy:
Where does Anenih's wife fall in the whole equation? I thought she was from Edo state.

She is Anambra,married to Edo.

angel TI: there is absolutely nothing to love about her now. I remember the first time I saw this girl on screen. she lookd so pretty with her clean skin but now, its another story.

Infact, on behalf of seun and nairaland, we dust tonto!

....And dine with mama purity!

seunfly: So we should be expecting another prisoners swap involving Ibori followed by state pardon in few month time, huumm! that is why i love sahara reporter, when they say something impossible some element will come and brand them liars only for u to see it possible after some months. Just like Yaradua's death, pej sickness and 5 to become majority in rivers.

Does this therefore mean that Sahara reporters IS TO the masses,what TB Joshua IS TO the Govt/Presidency?

1025: this is the worst electrician nigeria has produced. if i may ask, is akpabio and other useless politicians not part of the much politicized cash-less society law rolled out for the poor masses?
how many laws do we have here in nigeria?

Abi oo.this reminds me of the book ANIMAL FARM.the law,All animals are equal but some are more equal than the others.

SIGNED!

Don Demu: U bunch of jobless folks who hate the word PEACE. How e tek concern u? As d law no come make am mandatory to marry or marry off an underaged babe makes it a matter of free will. May be u guys are just being jealous cos u quiet well know how tight a 9yr old will be down there and ur fake religious belief will not allow you have a taste

Osanobua!!