₦airaland Forum

quote by orimili:
« #129 on: June 09, 2007, 05:34 PM »

i would take it as a blessing, it shows that she is committed to preserving herself for the perfect mate. It shows that she is a very paitent, and very faithful to herself, which most likely means that she will be faithful to the one she eventually marries. As a male, I once thought of my virginity as a curse, as according to social norms, I was 'supposed' to start having sex at a certain age.

I am 23, and still a virgin. I owed it at first to being quite overweight and unattractive during my teenage years. I always thought that no one would be interested in me, so I never thought about it. I started working out when I was 19 and lost nearly 1/3 of my weight, and gained muscle. I was suddenly considered very attractive, and started getting attention from girls everywhere, but soon realised that they were interested in me not for who I was, but only for sexual reasons. When they find out that I am a virgin, their goals become that of taking my virginity.

A while ago, I had a friend, who would constantly make me feel out of place because I never had sex. She was not a virgin, as she had sex for the first time at 14. She would talk constantly and proudly of her sexual experiences with her past mates, always comparing them with her current men. She has never had a relationship that lasted more than a few months, and all of them were based solely on sex. (It seems as she would try to build a relationship on top of it.)

There were times where she would try to convince me to have sex. She would at times touch me, and make me touch her, hoping that I would give in. I never did, and she would complain to others because of that. I have always told myself to wait until marriage, not completely understanding why I should, but it felt like the right thing for me. It is because of her that I truly began to understand why. She desires marriage, yet jumps into sex on the first date. Most men probably would not respect a girl that gives in so soon, they will see her as an easy target to get their loins satisfied. Her impatience, her distrust in men due to the previous statement, and her refusal to change her ways, have resulted in her never being in a relationship that lasted for more than a month. She has lowered confidence, as she always says sometimes that she feels like used properties, but is too comfortable with her ways to change.

I never want that to happen to me. I don't ever want to walk around feeling like that all the time. I saw that many others are falling into this, and I am told that it is very rare to be this age and still a virgin. Today, I see this as a pride, and will continue waiting so that my wife will know that I have waited for her, and sex with her will be the most beautiful experience, not a routine task that somebody did better. There will be nobody to compare her to, and it will be perfect, even with no experience beforehand. I saw that my virginity was a virtue, and should not be thrown away in order to satisfy someone else's wants for a few minutes.

Your friend should not see her virginity as a curse at all! The perfect man for her is out there, and he will be truly blessed to have her. As for the comments about fertility, she has waited this long, but when she finally gets married, God will surely bless her with children! You guys talk as if she will turn 36 and her womb will shut down. There are many cases of women well into their 40-50s who still bore children. I think that your friend should see it as a pride and should not give it up now. She has enough faith in God to wait this long, and trust, something good will come of all of it.

quote by outstrip:
« #60 on: Today at 03:31:46 PM »

It's the opposite for me. I pretty much decide what my husband wears.