How long does it take to get EKEDC to install the prepaid meter after payment?

Recently, there has been a new trend of deviant behavior amongst youngsters. This whole marlian concept seem to be making waves. Whether you call it a cult, a tribe or a new movement lsn't what this seeks to address. Believe it or not, millenials are at it again, they've found another way to express themselves.
A lot of people have expressed their displeasure at this development. However, is it enough to just express displeasure over the negative influence this has caused? Will "beating it out" of them help to achieve a whole child? Is discussing the lyrics of the song all that is needed to be done? We can keep blaming Naira Marley for the song, the Federal government, the inefficient regulatory bodies. But what about the primary care givers ,the parents........ what about you?

When nursing a baby, he'll express his discomfort to you by crying. if it is a wet diaper that's causing the discomfort, even if you feed him, or try to play with him, he will keep crying. Until you are able to figure out what is making him uncomfortable. Until you change that wet diaper, he won't stop crying.

In the same vein, beating the child and other techniques most caregivers have chosen to adopt are ineffective because they are not addressing the core of the issue.
Irrespective of the way this whole marlian concept and the vices that are now associated with it started, don't be carried away or overwhelmed by it. Let's get this straight. This isn't all about Naira Marley, the weed smoking, the drugs, the weird hairstyles, no regard for authorities, breaking rules nor illicit sex. These are all masks. Identifying as a marlian is not the main disease, but a symptom of of a more chronic problem -"Approval seeking" caused by imbalanced upbringing.

Criticising the song or lifestyle is like beating down the leaves on a tree that is causing nuisance in your garden instead of uprooting it. There is always hope for a tree whose root is deep in the soil, it will grow again at the scent of water. This is why you need to understand the root of this deviant attitude and style in order to deal with it.

When one relegates his own ideology of life to follow another's life principle without acknowledging his own soul, that person is seeking for approval. Another way one seeks approval is by indulging in extreme non conforming behaviors in order to draw attention to self.
Why do they seek approval?
Approval seeking shows a lack of self confidence, low self esteem, loss of identity, a need for acceptance and a low self worth.
If you haven't groomed your child or ward in the area of self esteem, identity etc, and he or she hasn't express any form of deviant attitude , don't get too comfortable, lest trouble comes to take a stroll in your paradise. Sooner or later another new movement will emerge. Remember there was a time when young people were joining the ISIS Movement, now it is the marlian gang. We are yet to find out what the next will be. Whatever it is, hope your beloved child won't be caught in its web.

If you just said God forbid, I say a big Amen to that for you, but guess what, you will have to do the required work on that child, prepare him or her for the odds ahead, then God will forbid.
Don't think because he lives in a religious setting, he is automatically shielded from all the ills in the society. The Lady whose letter went viral about a couple of weeks ago, (the one whose daughter was suspended from school for being a member of the marlian cult) is a clergy. More things to talk about from that letter, but that's gist for another day.

Raising your child is your primary responsibility, don't delegate it to the society. Your action and inactions count.
Get to work on that child.

AM I GOOD ENOUGH

Many times, most people tend to compare themselves with others. They want to see if they measure up to another person's lifestyle, sense of fashion, looks, bank account, talents or skills etc. Could that be you?

Do you often find yourself looking at the other lady across the room, and your eyes begin to notice how she's got everything in the right place; the good looks, smooth face, perfect height, and the right curves in the right places.

Almost immediately you just find yourself shrinking in size, and your self worth begin to diminish to level zero. Your perceived inadequacies just becomes so loud and keeps doubling until you think the whole world can see all your flaws zoomed by 100% and you tell yourself, " .....am just a plain Jane".

While your mind gets thinking, I am not good enough, not tall enough, not beautiful enough, not handsome enough, not rich enough, not smart enough,.................... you never will be.

There will always be someone who has more of the qualities you have or would love to have. So how long do you intend to keep up with this negativity and self defeating thought pattern. How long will you keep allowing happiness to elude you because of a few things you haven't or couldn't attain, especially those things you cannot control.

No matter how rich you get, there will be someone working to break that record. No matter how beautiful you look, you won't always look the same all your life. (Even Miss world gets to wear the crown only for one year, then it goes to another). So why let a certain trait, ability or lack of it, decide your happiness.

If you are not happy with who you are and what you have, what's the guarantee that having all those other things will get you that happiness.

There can be no happiness without self acceptance.

You will never be enough and may never measure up to them. Guess what? They are not the standard for you. Therefore, being like them will never be enough.
Want to be good enough? Be you till full.

Ever heard of "Anxiety Disorder"?

According to an online source from the College of Medicine,University of Ibadan, Anxiety Disorder is a mental health disorder characterised by feelings of worry, anxiety or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities.

Examples of anxiety disorders include panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.

It is;
*Treatable by a medical professional
*Usually self-diagnosable
*Lab tests or imaging is not required

According to this source, in Nigeria,1.5 million cases is reported every year.
Did you know women are twice as likely as men to develop an anxiety disorder? It sounds like a high number, but it's true — and there are scientific reasons why.

Kimberly Hershenson, an NYC-based therapist, says, "Women are more likely to feel anxiety because they have naturally higher levels of progesterone, cortisol and estradiol. This is why women are more intuitive regarding predicting threats and dangers." And for many women, these disorders can cause disruptions in our day-to-day lives, creating additional problems on top of what worries us initially.

Common anxiety signs and symptoms include:
Feeling nervous, restless or tense
Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
Having an increased heart rate
Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
Sweating
Trembling
Feeling weak or tired
Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry
Having trouble sleeping
Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems
Having difficulty controlling worry
Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety

So what are some best practices to deal with this anxiety?

*Make a daily gratitude list before bed by writing down ten things you are grateful for.

*start a meditation practice, even if it's only for five minutes a day.

*Practice self acceptance.

Make a list of what you can control in the situation causing you anxiety (your reaction) and what you can't control (others' behavior). And if these are not enough, check in with your doctor or medical professional.

When to see a doctor?
Please, see your doctor if:
*You feel like you're worrying too much and it's interfering with your work, relationships or other parts of your life

*Your fear, worry or anxiety is upsetting to you and difficult to control

*You feel depressed, have trouble with alcohol or drug use, or have other mental health concerns along with anxiety

*You think your anxiety could be linked to a physical health problem

*You have suicidal thoughts or behaviors — if this is the case, seek emergency treatment immediately

Your worries may not go away on their own, and they may get worse over time if you don't address it.

Don't forget the great physician, who told us to be anxious for nothing. Matt 6:25,31

ARE YOU A BULLY?
Bullying is an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that intends to cause physical, social and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening.
Behaviours that do not constitute bullying include:
mutual arguments and disagreements (where there is no power imbalance)
not liking someone or a single act of social rejection
one-off acts of meanness or spite
isolated incidents of aggression, intimidation or violence.
Bullying includes the following Key Elements:
1) Intentional
2) Repeated
3) Power imbalance. (constituted or perceived).
TYPES OF BULLYING
Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes: teasing, name-calling, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting, threatening to cause harm
Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes: leaving someone out on purpose, telling others not to be friends with someone, spreading rumors about someone, embarrassing someone in public.
Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. It includes: hitting, kicking, pinching, pushing, taking or breaking someone’s things, making mean or rude hand gestures
Cyber bullying is the use of technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. Those involved in this may have one on one interaction with each other but prefer to bully each other through social media, as that way their actions can be viewed by more and they feel a false sense of fame.
From the onset, it has been thought that there is only one type of bully - a highly aggressive kid that lacked self esteem, who may come from a violent or neglectful home, predicting the fact that they lack social and problem solving skills. Apart from this blunt and open oppressor, another more michiavellian kind of bully has been recognized. This group tends to have better social skills are often charismatic and loved by others (that includes their superiors), and are far from the uncultured stereotype bullies. These people can turn on or off their bullying to suit their needs. They want to be the leader of the crowd and they achieve this by pushing others down the hierarchy. ( That "Queen Bee", story for another day).
People are often victimized by bullies for various reasons which has nothing to do with them in particular most times . I'm saying it is not your fault that you are being bullied. The problem is the bully himself/ herself. Bullying is more about the bully than the victim.
Risk factors for becoming a bully:
They have been previously victimized or bullied.
Raised in a broken home.
Parenting Style: Research has shown that children whose parents are overly demanding or permissive may be at risk for bullying. The theory is that if authoritarian parents are too strict, the child feels inferior at home. This can prompt them to desire power at school. They choose to bully other children in order to create a false sense of self-esteem. Likewise, if permissive parents disregard structure in their household, children develop a disregard for rules. They have not been punished and develop a lack of empathy when hurting others. This can prompt them to bully.
Low tolerance for frustration and aggression.

Some kids grow out of bullying, others find a different outlet for their aggression. They choose to go into progressions in which bullying works for them. For example, the police force, professor at the University (those sex for marks lecturers), lawyers to mention a few.

He definitely needs a role model. Be friends with him. If there is a older male in the household where he lives, that person could serve as a father figure for him. Let this person build a relationship with him. Don't be too pushy or aggressive about the whole thing, and don't try to know every single thing going on with him in one day. If you do that, he will see you as a busy body and a poke nose, that puts teenagers off. Give him his space and still ensure that he understands he can always approach you. That way you can get to know what is going on in his life and help him deal with it. Depending on the intensity of the situation, you might have to relocate him. But before you do that ensure you scan the environment he is to be relocated. Check if the necessary factors her in place, otherwise you will only get a replication of what you already have before you.

It may just help to take him to a juvenile home or the prison for a visit, you Know, let him see practically.

Then you have to put smart discipline in place. Ensure you do it with love.

lilmax:
I will advice you leave him alone

the consequences will hit him soon

hunt him for the rest of his life,and others will learn from his action

so don't stress, he's just someone's lesson

I think you should search proverbs 19:18.
Discipline your child while there is hope and do not set your heart on his destruction. Leaving him to the consequence, makes you a major stakeholder to his destruction.

SBL28:
I can't describe how I feel, but it's not a good feeling. I'm divorced with two kids and I'm not even 30 yet (late 20s), crazy right? I never imagined life would turn out like this...I married the only man I have ever dated and it turned out to be a complete disaster. I feel bad for my kids the most, they are the real victims here. Their father didn't love them or me enough not to walk away from his family.

I have been single and celibate for over two years now but I'm tired of it now. I'm tired of being alone. I want to love and be loved. I want to have a connection with someone. I want that great feeling that comes with being in love.

I have considered having friends with benefits but I don't think I'm wired that way ( not like I have a lot of experience in the that department). I just don't think I can have sex with someone I don't feel anything for.

Another issue is the religious aspect, in the eyes of God, am I still married to my ex? Will God be angry with me if I go into another relationship? But don't I deserve to be happy to? The man in question already moved on...don't I deserve a fresh start too?

On the career front, I have not worked for a full year since I graduated from school. I have not been able to get a decent and stable job. This bothers me to no end...don't get me wrong. My children and I are comfortable but I don't really have any money of my own. I feel do bad when I see my old uni classmates working in the top firms and rising. Some of them were not even better than me then. So I keep wondering why all these things are happening to me, home front 0, career 0. I just want things to go my way...

I can't remember the last time I got a decent amount of sleep, so many thoughts in my head. Sometimes I just want freedom from all my worries and problems, I crave for peace...but I can't leave my children alone in this wicked or intentionally bring such pain on my parents and siblings who have been there for me. Most importantly too, I can't condemn myself to eternal damnation... So I'm just going to be here, taking one day at time and praying for a complete turnaround.

It may look like nothing is working, but I don't want you to get that thought stuck in your mind. Permit me to take you on a little journey.
Find a quiet place, if possible a place you can just be alone for some hours. Take a piece of paper with you and a pen write out what you are grateful for, despite all the ills surrounding you. Turn that list over to God and just thank him genuinely from your heart. I need you to mean what you say there.
Let me give you this, "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living ". Shalom.

SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem refers to a person’s overall sense of his or her value or worth. It can be considered a sort of measure of how much a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself. It's s a “favourable or unfavourable attitude toward the self”. Self esteem is not always constant. Which means you can measure it and also improve on it.

Hold on, what is there to know about self-esteem, I mean why bother myself about it. If that's the thought on your mInd, then let me run you through a tiny lane on why you want to care about how your self esteem rates.

“Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness.”
Your Self-esteem says a lot about you. It speaks volume of your relationship with yourself and other people. It depicts your overall satisfaction in life and how successful you really can be. If you think you are just another human on the surface of the earth, that you are irrelevant, and don't deserve much, you would not bother to do anything that will help promote your interest. After all who cares.

Signs you might be having issues of Low Self Esteem

You find it hard keeping relationships
You avoid taking risks or trying new things
You engage in addictive avoidance behaviors
You struggle with confidence
You find it difficult creating boundaries
You give more attention to your weaknesses
You are often unsure of who you are
You feel negative experiences are all consuming
You struggle to say no
You find it difficult asking for your needs to be met
You hold a pessimistic or negative outlook on life
You doubt your abilities or chances of success
You frequently experience negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety or depression
You compare yourself with others and often you come in second best

You people please
You’re easily angered or irritated
You feel your opinion isn’t important
You hate you
What you do is never good enough
You’re highly sensitive to others opinions
The world doesn’t feel safe
You doubt every decision
You regularly experience the emotions of sadness and worthlessness

Now you might want to know, what influences low self esteem

1. Perfectionist – results in feeling inadequate and frustrated; goals not reached
2. Genetic – low self-esteem might run in family
3. Anger turned inward – won’t directly express anger
4. Rarely experienced success – feels worthless because of many failures
5. Overprotected – haven’t learned how to cope, doesn’t feel respected
6. Neglected – results in feeling worthless
7. Autocratic or punishing environment – feels helpless and believes that the world is a bad place
8. Age
9. Life experience
10. Health
11. Social circumstances
12. Comparing oneself to others
13. Thought pattern.

How to improve your self esteem
1. Build a consistent positive self-image
2. Increase social interaction, assertiveness and social skills
3. Engaged in fun activities
4. Experience success
5.Say “stop” to your inner critic.
6. Use healthier motivation habits.
7. Take a 2-minute self-appreciation break.
8. Write down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself.
9. Do the right thing.
10. Replace the perfectionism.
11. Handle mistakes and failures in a more positive way.
12. Be kinder towards other people.
13. Try something new.
14. Stop falling into the comparison trap.
15. Spend more time with supportive people (and less time with destructive people). Yes, you know those that practically drain the life out of you with that obscene look, especially those guys who are really handy with horrible comments for you, avoid them like a plague.

Let me leave you to ponder on this words from Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

Latter, everyone keeps pointing fingers to the police, the politicians, and others. We forget the injustice meted out around us is also a contributing factor to the corruption and decadence around.

Yes, they got involved in homosexuality, even though I don't advocate such acts, and our society frowns it, but why assault them.
They were wrong, they went against the norm of our society, they didn't put another person in harms way, so why abuse them physically.
Then you went on to blackmail.

Let me make this clear to you, if those guys get proper guidance they could sue you guys for blackmail.
I will love to watch out and see who goes to jail.

I know we don't want homosexuality to become a part of our society, but the way we are handling the issue could boomerang.

One of the big causes of depression is addiction.
And when I am talking about addiction, let me make it clear that one can get addicted to objects or events. Whether it is drug, alcohol, gambling, starving, over eating, sex, excessive spending (the list can go on and on), as long as it hinders you from living life, making a living, interacting socially etc, it is an addiction and you have to deal with it.

The moment you admit it is an addiction and a problem, you are on your way to recovery.

No matter the kind of addiction you are going through, you need a support system to make it through the recovery process. You need to be accountable to someone.

You need to identify your ritual. This will help you a lot. There are specific activities that you engage in before you practice that addiction.

Once you identify those rituals, you can then change them with other set of rituals.

This way, you can better recover from addiction.
If you need further help with this, feel free to contact me. I will help you with the process.

Some may say there is nothing wrong with incest. But that depends on your culture. However, in most cultures and religions incest is frowned at.
The guilt they feel is more than what another who is sexually acting out with the wrong person feels.

If it is confirmed that they are actually siblings, since they are both adults involved, they know what they are into and going by your narrative they are ashamed, so they know it should not be. Ask them to seek help.

They can each go to their spiritual leader, or a counsellor. There is a soul tie involved here. They should stay away from each other. And have an accountability partner.

If you really want to help them, then you must not shame them. Your goal is to help not make them feel so terrible like they are without redemption.
Let them see why they need to let go of this part of their relationship and begin to see each other as siblings. Neither of them can have a happy marriage, even if they do get married unless they deal with this issue.
You will have to show them genuine love and not pass across to them the image of a busy body who just wants to know all things.

It is obvious you are going through a whole lot right now. But with the baby on its way, it would be better you focus on that child. I believe you don't want complications during delivery. If you will have to go somewhere else then do it. Do what makes you happy. Hang out with friends, just stay happy.

I still don't get how a man rapes his wife. I think some men would profit from sex education, so they can stop acting out like beast.

But either way, you need a counsellor, the both of you should get sound counselling.

Let me point out some things that are hopeful to you. First, you understand your bearing and direction is based on God. Which means you are still interested in Him, no matter how little it flickers, at least it is still there.

You admitted to having addictions. CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is the first step towards your recovery.

So, you are not hopeless. You need to talk through this issue and come out of it, I will be waiting to help .

CsRockefeller:
My life is just without bearing or a direction, I've tried to get back to God and the relationship we use to have since 2014 but it's so difficult. My worst enemy is myself, and I don't know how to run away from myself.

Take it easy with yourself. You shouldn't give up on yourself because God hasn't given up on you. So about the suicide thing, forget it. It is not an option.
I can observe you are a christian who used to be on fire for God but for some reasons you left your walk with him and you are probably thinking He left you as well.

So, you wrote that you are having difficulty getting back to God, or you are looking at everything around you, the issues , the addictions and you are looking at yourself from that dysfunctional view and choosing to see the impossibility of being accepted.

08140663134

If you need further help, contact me.

You are dealing with depression. Check out this link it will help you understand what you are going through and how to handle the situation.
https://www.nairaland.com/4938998/dealing-depression

For those requesting for names, you must understand that it is against the Child act law to expose the names of children caught in crime.

[

Forreellinc:
hmmm them r@pe person for 15 years and e no talk, are you sure she was not enjoying it

Nobody enjoys being raped. There are reasons why victims don't speak up. The lady in the article pointed out that her father was strict. Which could mean there was no open communication with her father.

Sometimes we tell parents to build relationships with their kids that make them open up and feel free to discuss anything with them. But most parents don't adhere. Some are busy forming disciplinarian and police officer in their home but are not policing the right things.

What can possibly be seductive in a child's dressing.
A pédophile does not care if a child is stark naked or completely covered with an hijab, socks and handgloves. Those things don't count to them. All they need is the avenue to carry out their act.

Going by what I see here, your depression was triggered by grieve. Though you are depressed, Chances are , you are still grieving losing him coupled with depression.

No matter what you do right now, it all will be a trial and error process, if you can't get to the root of the cause of your depression and individuals factors that aids it.

Yes, there are general things you can do. You can check out my post on "Dealing with depression" to get an understanding of this condition.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It affects how a person feels, thinks and behaves and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. It is largely accompanied with feelings of worthlessness, this makes depressed people commit suicide. Depression is usually characterised as a cloud weighing down the patient. This makes the person feel sad and sorrowful. depression is not a sign of weakness rather it is an illness.
But the fact that you are sad or you feel sorrowful doesn't make you depressed. Chances are you are grieving and going through bereavemet.
Though grief and depression seem to have some things in common they are different. For example, the death of a loved one, loss of job or a relationship will make one feel sad. So grieving the loss is a normal response to such occurrence. But because of the similitude, chances going through grieve may describe themselves as depressed. Although, both involves intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. Grieve comes in waves, which is often intermixed with positive memories of the lost one and self esteem is maintained. Depression on the other hand makes a person moody, loose interest in pleasure and the situation usually declines for 2weeks and more, accompanied with the feeling of worthlessness and self loathing. When grief and depression meets the grief is more severe and lasts longer. Distinguishing between them can help people get the right help and support they need.
Depression can go unnoticed because it symptoms vary depending on age and gender. Based on research, depression is estimated to affect 1 in 15 adults in any given year, also 1 in 6 people will experience depression at some time in their life. Depression can strike at any time but on average it first appears in late teens to mid 20's. Women are more likely to experience depression.

SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION
feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness and hopelessness.
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration at the slightest provocation.
Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities such as sex, hobbies, or sports.
Sleep disorder including insomnia and sleeping too much.
Tiredness and lack of energy, such that even small task takes extra effort to complete.
Reduced appetite, weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain.
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
Slow thinking, speaking and body movements.
Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, fixating on past failures or self blame.
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things.
Frequent thoughts of death, suicide thoughts, suicide attempts.
Unexplained physical problems such as back pain or headaches.
Feeling miserable or unhappy without knowing why.
It could begin with cluelessness, proceed to hopelessness, graduate into depression and then suicide.

Not everyone who is depressed experiences every symptom. Some experience only a few symptoms while others may experience many of the symptoms. However, several persistent symptoms in addition to low mood is required for one to be diagnosed of major depression. Symptoms vary pending on the stage of the depression.

Factors that increases the risk of depression

Although scientists have not been able to come up with explanations as to why some go through depression while others don't. However factors that could trigger depression include:
*Personality traits low; Low self-esteem, Over dependence, self critical or being pessimistic
*Traumatic/ stressful events; physical, verbal or sexual abuse, death or loss of a loved one, difficult or toxic relationship, financial problems.
*Genetic factor; personal or family history of depression, bipolar disorder, alcoholism or suicidal patterns.
*Sexuality; being homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual or transgender in an unsupportable situation.
*History of other mental health disorder; such as anxiety disorder (ADHD), eating disorders, or post traumatic stress disorder.
*Abuse of alcohol and other recreational drugs.
*Struggling with Chronic illness like cancer, stroke, chronic pain, heart disease
*Certain medications; high blood pressure, sleeping pills etc.

TREATMENT
People get depressed because of various reasons, and also show different symptoms to similar situation. Therefore, there is no fast rule on it's treatment. Generally, depression can be treated by medications (using antidepressants), therapy and doing both. The choice of which method is to be used is based on symptoms and the stage of the depression.
Despite the success of antidepressants in dealing with depression it is not without its side effect.
It is important we understand that being depressed increases the tendency that you could get depressed again. So to get out of depression and stay out of it you need to;

*Have a positive attitude. Be optimistic.
*Reach out and stay connected. Get a support system. Be around those who can give you support. Talk to a counsellor.
*Get out, mingle, Socialise, Have fun.
*Consciously find reasons to be grateful.
*Challenge those negative thoughts.
*Recognise the patterns that usually lead to you being depressed. You need to know the depression you are dealing with. Some go through seasonal depression. So for such people, create another routine system that doesn't support depression. For instance, you plan to visit friends or have friends over during that time. Plan to take yourself out, watch some movies, volunteer for some programmes. Don't just get occupied, if you can, occupy yourself with something that makes you happy and gives you a sense of worth.
*Don't indulge in self pity.
*Take control of your thought pattern, otherwise they will lead you downhill.
*Be contented.
*Do away with criticism. You can't afford to be so critical
*Refuse to indulge in anger, resentment, self persecution.
*Take care of your health. Sleep well, stay on good diet, relax, exercise your body, stay away from stress as much as you can.
*Get a Daily Dose of sunlight.

I feel sorry for her.
But if you really want to help her, don't push. If you prod her she might withdraw. Don't think because she told about the incident she's gonna open up completely to you or do everything you tell her to do. Just give her time. Gently make her see reasons why the case needs to be reported, but If she insists she doesn't want to report the case, then let her be. Remind yourself she just went through awful experience where she felt powerless so don't ruffle power with her. It has to be her own decision on who to tell when to tell and how. She needs to know you will support her no matter what her decision is.

Currently, you need to know the emotions she might be dealing with; shame, guilt, pains, later on depression might set in and then some more gory tales if the situation isn't properly handled. Help her identify those emotions if you can, be there for her when she needs to talk about it but also give her space.

Generally, rape victims go through a some post trauma but it isn't the same for everybody. There is no general rule as to how she is expected to behave. Response are individualised. Therefore, you need to be able to watch out for her emotions and her response as your guide to help her out.

Nevertheless, She will need constant reaffirmation because she will be battling with guilt. "Why did i pass the night there?" "was there no other place I could have spend that night? " "maybe if I had screamed, or fought harder it wouldn't have happened ". She is going to get a whole lot of "if I had....." and all other guilt trip. So you will have to tell her she did all she could and it's not her fault things played out this way, irrespective of how it happened or why it happened the offender is always at fault.

If she can put words to her feelings and thoughts then you can begin to deal with any belief system or assumptions she has about the assault. You need to make her understand you do not see her as immoral or promiscuous because of the occurrence.

Yes, rapist are not only males. If we want to stop rape, we must look beyond the stigma and expose them. Seriously, that young lady needs help. Reporting her to the authorities is a great help towards her own recovery.

It is just a shame that a female resorted to such an act to sexually satisfy herself. However, the first thing he needs is a medical check up. The institution should have A System where you crime cases can be reported. I know the situation is degrading and dehumanising but it is important that the case be reported to the appropriate authority. You can report to your school crime office if they have one and the case would be transferred to the police.
Go to a counsellor, Every educational institution should have one, they will be able to help you through this or transfer you to a competent counsellor within your geography.
Stay strong.

Since the police are already looking into the matter, there is still need for the child to be put under a support system. She needs to be clinically checked, and have to see a counsellor as well. This will help her deal with the trauma.
Her father would also need to undergo some sessions as well.

16 years old is still a minor and who ever has custody of that child, guardian or parent has the right to oppose that union. Marrying a minor is against the law, and a form of Child Abuse, irrespective of her consent or body structure. As long as the Nigerian law is concerned she shouldn't be given in marriage.

From the report here, it isn't proper to refer to the kid as an armed robber. It never mentioned that he operated with a weapon.
Why should a child be kept in the custody of SARS for a month? With adult criminals!!!
He should have been arraigned in court, or sent to a remand home until his case can be tried.
If we are to go by the information then this child has not been properly treated under "Children and Young Person Act II" and the "Child Right Act".
They are dealing with a child here and due process must be followed.