₦airaland Forum

A young American girl's sexual assault was publicized and mocked on social media. There’s something very wrong with a society in which this can happen, says Georgina Guedes, but there are lessons to be learnt.

A 16-year-old American girl called Jada was given a drink that caused her to lose consciousness at a party in Houston. She was undressed and, she believes, raped.

The boys at the party took photos of her while she was unconscious but fully clothed, and then after-wards of her naked body. They posted the pictures on Instagram. This was the first that Jada knew of the assault.

This is a pretty awful set of circumstances. She was raped or assaulted, her privacy was invaded, her dignity was torn to shreds, and then, everything that happened to her was posted on social media.

But that's not where it ended. Oh no. Just when you think that the world has shown the levels of indecency to which it is able to stoop, it uses the magnifying glass of social media to increase the horror.

The girl had already been sexually assaulted, stripped naked, photographed and humiliated on social media. So what did the internet do? Did it rap the boys circulating these photos over the knuckles? Did it say something like, "Hang on, guys, this ain't cool. That girl's naked; she's certainly not consenting. Don't do this to her!" Anybody?

Nope! Not even a little bit.

Do you know what the fine people of social media did instead? They began taking photographs of themselves, replicating the crumpled pose of her naked, used body and spread them on Instagram and Twitter, with the hash-tag #jadapose. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, right?

Jada speaks out

The story gets a little better after this. Jada herself, reckoning that there's really no more humiliation to be had, went public. The world has seen her face and her naked body, and has made a mockery of what happened to her, so what the hell?

She came forward and spoke out bravely about what happened to her on television. "The picture, everybody already seen my face and my body, but that's not what I am and who I am. I'm angry, scared and in pain." She wants to see her alleged attackers brought to justice.

One of the alleged perpetrators took to social media to, rather inexpertly, defend himself, calling her paradoxically both a "hoe" and a "snitch".

However, the one uplifting - if you can call it that - thing that has come out of all of this, is that the social media backlash against the #jadapose meme has been a powerful wave of fury and support. When I heard about #jadapose and searched for the hash-tag to find out more, I couldn't find any of the offending tweets, but instead encountered a fast-refreshing stream of love and support for Jada. I hope she's watching.

Teach respect for women

So, why am I talking about this? It's a reminder to all parents to teach their children respect for women, to teach them what is kind, and right, and good. If "snitch" and "hoe" are the responses from someone who did this to a girl, there's something very broken in society. And I can say "society" with confidence, rather than targeting this one boy, because we know what happened next.

There is an equal - worse - state of disregard for women and their dignity and their right to make their own decisions about their own bodies in South Africa.

Raise your sons with care.
Source: http://www.news24.com/Columnists/GeorginaGuedes/What-the-jadapose-rape-has-taught-us-20140711

prettyboi1989:
Relevant topics still dey ground o, I wonder d
basis 4 wich a topic becomes a front page item

i wonder too ooo.
i even need som1 to explain what this topic is all about.

the thread is about the nutritional value of banana...not s*x enhancement, pls.

yorex2011 And as one guy once sang... Take banana till you go 'yo'... Wetin be "yo"

'yo' is a yoruba word that mean full as applicable to eating...
so, what he/she was saying is; eat banana till you are okay and you can't take more.

mmonigeria Happy Birthday to the Nairalanders with these
usernames

mecusbosco(29), sucess001(32), ops(36), olutobia(32), obijenkinz(26),
anapaig(32), Oladhayor, Orokita, obinon, Maricuzi(29), seraphine,
unuane1, Sholyzee, Olekumaster(23), Eddy2cute(25), ineco(28),
AgentGodwin(35), mimibets(23), Ayorh4you, pixey, ameenjat(34),
kennylawal(22), gothchick(25), Xplodes2700(26), spark4daz(19),
xmobaba(25), Nonsoco80(34), wedco893(23), marvel5star(22), Alexk2(29),
Thiannah, sealteam66, Elkrypto(28), kolaawole(24), skulomania,
maestrojay(19), bloosom(22), princesssusan(23), ecksplizit,
Faizkhan2rock(23), m7tatv(28), zaihaali(23), SamNice007, nanfaxy(21),
nelson29(30), Fismat(28), megacharis2014(28).

All the best as you start your new year today - 12th July, 2014!

thanks, bro.

TRADELYNWe hereby take time off from work for
a brief moment just because of you, our special Birthday Celebrants

As you mark your Special Day Today, WE wish you all A better LIFE that
will make you forever Happy And Richly Blessed.

Enjoy your Day...happy celebration!!!



mecusbosco(29), sucess001(32), ops(36), olutobia(32), obijenkinz(26),
anapaig(32), Oladhayor, Orokita, obinon, Maricuzi(29), seraphine,
unuane1, Sholyzee, Olekumaster(23), Eddy2cute(25), ineco(28),
AgentGodwin(35), mimibets(23), Ayorh4you, pixey, ameenjat(34),
kennylawal(22), gothchick(25), Xplodes2700(26), spark4daz(19),
xmobaba(25), Nonsoco80(34), wedco893(23), marvel5star(22), Alexk2(29),
Thiannah, sealteam66, Elkrypto(28), kolaawole(24), skulomania,
maestrojay(19), bloosom(22), princesssusan(23), ecksplizit,
Faizkhan2rock(23), m7tatv(28), zaihaali(23), SamNice007, nanfaxy(21),
nelson29(30), Fismat(28), megacharis2014(28)

thanks, bro....God bless you.
i want to wish others HBD too...LLnPP to us all in Jesus name.

This is interesting. After reading this, you’ll never look at a banana in the same way again.

Bananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.
But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

DEPRESSION
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS:
Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

ANEMIA
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
BLOOD PRESSURE:
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

BRAIN POWER
200 students at a Twickenham school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

CONSTIPATION
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

HANGOVERS
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

HEARTBURN
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

MORNING SICKNESS
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
MOSQUITO BITES:
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

NERVES
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort foodlike chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

ULCERS
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chroniclercases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

TEMPERATURE CONTROL
Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, ‘A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!’
Source; http://worldobserveronline.com/2014/01/26/reading-youll-never-look-banana-way/

PAGAN9JA It shows that Nigerians are finally awaking from slave mentality. Let us throw away this foreign books and jewish man-idols. *think differently*

must you always sound like that when som1 choose to talk about his religion?

UnknownT Proud JUMPOLOGIST

guy, u bad ooo..
i reject the temtation to laugh..

UnknownT Proud JUMPOLOGIST

guy, u bad ooo..
i refuse the temtation to laugh..

what lessn can we learn from this trash?...of what benefit is this to us as an individual or as a country?

...yet one moderator who is supos to be good at his work decide to put this on fp when there are countless good topics flowing in every day.....i'm begining to feel sorry for nairaland.

moderator, do the needful..
this should be on fp, pls.

These are the 35 questions that have made the biggest impact on my life.
Self-Awareness

1. What are you pretending not to know? This was perhaps the most powerful question I was ever asked. All possibilities open up when we stop deceiving ourselves.

2. Why don’t you do the things you know you should be doing? Life isn’t about figuring out what to do. The real challenge is (not so) simply doing the things we know we should be doing.

3. What are your values and are you being true to them? Write down the 3 most important aspects of each of these areas: family, romantic relationships, friends, work, health, sex and spirituality. These are your values. When we don’t act congruently with what we value, symptoms of discomfort arise.

4. In what ways are you being perceived, that you’re not aware of? ­Perception is reality. Make sure, for better or worse, you know what people really think of you.

5. What don’t you know, that you don’t know? It’s always the obstacles that we don’t even see coming that are the biggest challenges in life. Get in the habit of asking people that have been there and done it before for guidance.

Happiness / Peace of Mind

6. Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your happiness? The desires of our ego are often in conflict with the emotions of our heart. You’ll always have what you want, if you want what you have.

7. If you achieved all of your life’s goals how would you feel? How can you feel that along the way? The discipline of delayed gratification is one of the most powerful habits of successful individuals. But most actions we take are meant to elicit an emotion in the now. We’re happier striving for our goals when we let ourselves feel that which we want to feel when our outcome is achieved.

8. What did I learn today? Who did I love? What made me laugh? I try and ask myself these 3 questions at the end of each day. Regardless of anything else that happens, if you learned something new, loved a good person and got to laugh heartily, it was a day worth having and remembering.

Perspective

9. If you weren’t scared what would you do? Use the rocking chair test. What would your 90-year-old self, looking back on your own life, advise you to do in the moment?

10. If you were dying, would you worry about this? We so easily lose perspective on what takes up our energy and focus. We’re all dying. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this to enjoy living.

11. Should you be focused on today or tomorrow? Savor the present but don’t forget your future. Life is a balance of knowing when to enjoy the moment vs. when to plant seeds for tomorrow’s harvest.

Influence / Achievement

12. Why not? What would happen if…? Don’t accept that things just are the way they are. Question why something can’t be done. And when you get pushback to these questions, reframe the negative answers with possibilities.

13. What/Who did you make better today? The way to measure your worth may just be to give more than you take. Asking what/who you made better each day is a simple litmus test we can all measure ourselves by.

14. What do you want your life to be in 5 years? If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never get there – Lewis Carroll. Write down 5-year goals. They’re close enough to grasp for, yet far off enough to achieve almost anything.

15. What can you do today to improve? Consistent, incremental improvement is the secret to achieving the greatest of feats.

Business / Entrepreneurship

16. What’s your WHY? If you have a big enough WHY you’ll always figure out the What and the How. If you don’t have a BIG WHY, you’ll always use the What and the How as an excuse for not doing that thing you said you were going to do.

17. What’s the one most important thing to get done today/ this week/month? Write this down on a Post-it note at the beginning of each day/week, and hold yourself accountable for completing this above all other Stuff To Do.

18. What questions must you consider before starting a business? See my list by watching “The 10 Questions” or reading the document.

19. What’s the potential upside? What’s the effort involved? What’s the likelihood of success? What’s the strategic value? This is the framework I came up with 3 years ago on “How to Make the Right Business Decisions”. Whenever there is an opportunity cost, I have my team go through this exercise.

20. What are we talking about? What problem are we solving? I try to start off every meeting by putting this on the whiteboard. In group settings we too often we find ourselves having completely different conversations. Sometimes when answers are difficult to come by, it’s helpful to question if we’re solving for the right problem.

21. Can you get it done now? If something is important or urgent and you can get it done now, do it.

22. What do you need to make it happen? This is one of my favorite questions to ask as a manager. It creates ownership to make sure the goals will be achieved. And it creates a shared responsibility to provide the resources required to achieve those goals.

23. If we could wave a magic wand and do anything together, what would that look like? I use this question all the time with potential business partners. By removing the perceived constraints that bind us and focusing on mutually desired outcomes, we often discover new pathways of possibility.

24. How would your role models act and carry themselves? Act as if. Act as if you have the experience, wisdom and swagger of your role model, and you’ll often find even the most unchartered of situations more navigable.

25. When can we meet? We’re often this one question away from engaging with someone who can open up limitless avenues of possibility. The most important aspect of business is still to always get it done in person.

26. Will you be my mentor? It’s one question that, when asked in earnest, almost nobody will turn down. Reach out to a person in a position and industry you admire, and ask them if you can take them to coffee and hear about how they got there.

27. What will I only know about you after we’ve worked together for a year? This interview question comes from the awesome Wendy Lea (CEO, GetSatisfaction). This may be the best interview question I’ve ever heard.

28. What would get you interested in our product/service? Selling is the art of asking good questions, listening, and matching your value to people’s needs. Sales is very easy when others explain what they want and need from you.

Lobolintin:
Nice research my man... This a project...

thanks, bro.....serious project!

Dubby6: Did you know that their is God.
Did you know that it takes 1hr for me to fall asleep?

there is God for sure.....if other factors remain constant, 1hr is way too much.

yomieluv: id you know that we know all these before?

you may know but let others who don't learn new things...i don't know some of it untill i came accross them.

udokakris: id you know i wish there is more of this?

sure, you will.

drmicheal: id you know you wont make front page?

you may be right..i always know good topics don't usually make it to d fp.

McWhillion: Did you know my mother is a woman.

how will i know that?...she may be 'on the fence'...

* Did you know 11% of people are left handed
* Did you know August has the highest percentage of births
* Did you know unless food is mixed with saliva you can't taste it
* Did you know the average person falls asleep in 7 minutes
* Did you know a bear has 42 teeth
* Did you know an ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain
* Did you know most lipsticks contain fish scales
* Did you know no two corn flakes look the same
* Did you know lemons contain more sugar than strawberries
* Did you know 8% of people have an extra rib
* Did you know 85% of plant life is found in the ocean
* Did you know the Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters
* Did you know a lobsters blood is colorless but when exposed to oxygen it turns blue
* Did you know the longest recorded flight of a chicken was 13 seconds
* Did you know birds need gravity to swallow
Did you know the flag for Libya is unlike any other being a solid green color
Did you know goldfish can see both infrared and ultraviolet light
Did you know the smallest bones in the human body are found in your ear
Did you know cats spend 66% of their life asleep
Did you know Switzerland eats the most chocolate equating to 10 kilos per person per year
Did you know money is the number one thing that couples argue about
Did you know macadamia nuts are toxic to dogs
Did you know when lightning strikes it can reach up to 30,000 degrees celsius (54,000 degrees fahrenheit)
Did you know spiders are arachnids and not insects

source; http://www.did-you-knows.com/?page=1

wow!...i'm inspired.

Thank God i finally have people talking about chess on nairaland.
I so much love to develop my knowledge of this game but how can i when i hardly have playing time with like minds.
i only get to play online.
i wish i can find people with like passion around here.

first, why is this educative, informative and interesting thread created last yr just making fp when we see crapy threads daily on fp?
the moderators must sit up ooo....



thanks, op.

Have you ever found yourself reading
about a celebrity, or looking at someone’s Facebook page, wishing that
you were more like them, and agonizing about the fact that you’ll never
have their house, their husband or wife, their looks, be able to get
into their yoga pose? We're human, and in today’s world — between the
reality TV, news, and social media — people’s personal lives are thrown
in our faces everywhere we look.

Comparison to others contributes to unhappiness in huge ways, because
the result you're looking for is almost always impossible. Sure, it's
fine to have positive role models who help you evolve into your best
self. But it's different when you find yourself getting sad and feeling
inadequate when hearing about or seeing other people’s lives. Comparison
is natural, but if you're constantly trying to be like others it's a
huge red flag that you need to do some soul searching, realize what's
important in life, and learn how to maximize the unique opportunities of
your own life.

Here are four things you can do to get on the path towards living your
own story:

1. Think about how unique your life is and celebrate it.

Things that seem mundane to you about yourself are more interesting than
you realize. Maybe you speak two languages, or grew up somewhere
different. Perhaps you spend your weekends scouring through thrift
stores in a city, or surfing at your nearest beach, or taking a
beautiful walk in the woods. All of these little things come together to
make you, YOU. No one else has walked your path, and that's an honor.
Live your own life to its fullest potential, and do everything you do
with complete passion, sincerity, and a smile on your face.

2. Learn to be happy for others.

Learn to recognize jealousy and transform it into feeling happy for the
person in question. In turn, be happy for yourself. Happy for your
health, your job, the people in your life, and your experiences.

3. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, good or bad.

Realize that people are also in their own unique situations. Stop
thinking you're inadequate, and definitely don’t look at anyone else and
think you're better than her. You wouldn’t want anyone doing that to
you, so plant some good seeds by keeping a neutral, non-judgmental view
of people.

4. Realize that people showcase the best of themselves.

Of the hundreds of photos people post of themselves on Facebook, there
are probably about a thousand more they consider unflattering. Next time
your ego starts to say, “I wish I were as photogenic as her…” remember
that! Similarly, no one (at least not most people) is going to post
about her boring Saturday night spent sitting on the couch watching
reruns of 90s sitcoms, waiting for the phone to ring. People only put
out there what they want the world to see, and it isn’t necessarily the
whole deal.

Don’t try to live in someone else’s story. Make up your own, starting
today. You were given your own unique path to go down, so make the best
of it, focus on yourself, and keep on shining as brightly as you already
do.

cheguevera: MOST AFRICANS I HAVE MET HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM....... NA HEREDITY DEY CAUSE AM . HELP ME ANSWER

funny u! how many Africans have you met?.....
self esteem is not hereditary and never an African thing....it is everywhere, bro.

maingwaest
Tenks @ OP.

my pleasure!

joywendy
@ AlexK2 thanks alot i appreciate.

you are most welcome.

joywendy: nice thread. Please can you explain further on number
5.How does one take care of themselves emotionally?
9. What kind of questions are you refering to? Can u give examples
Thanks

taking care of your emotions urself mean you shouldnt allow pple control ur emotions....be completely in charge!...why shld you start crying or feeling bad because sum1 said you are too fat or not good enough?....love who you are and enjoy it to the fullest...it shouldnt be new to you that you are beautiful and special.

....and about those ?s...e.g are which God/god do i want to serve, should i marry and what career sooth my personality...e.t.c.

hope i answer your ?s?

jieta]
i like dat part of how to control ur physical and emotional aspect. kudos to you@ op

thanks.

oyatmicah dat ur #10. self esteem nd treating urself like a child?
u've got to be kidding me

it mean no worries, bro.
what lower once self esteem are majorly what we term disadvantages and limitations...these hardly concern children. they hardly worry about anything they cant change...that is the point!

9jagist whats your definition to self esteem sef, or it
attributed to Nairaland, then topic should be steps to Nairaland self
esteem. unu aman kwekwanu nmadu nu ife

it mean no worries, bro.
what lower once self esteem are majorly what we term disadvantages and limitations...these hardly concern children. they hardly worry about anything they cant change...that is the point!

oyatmicah
dat ur #10. self esteem nd treating urself like a child?

it mean no worries, bro.
what lower once self esteem are majorly what we term disadvantages and limitations...these hardly concern children. they hardly worry about anything they cant change...that is the point!