None of the responses here actually touched upon the actual problems of living together before marriage. Pretty much everyone is saying: "if you live together before marriage (and then have sex) or with the woman performing "wifely" duties, at some point the man could get bored and start cheating".

Hmm. . . and what is so special about "wifely" duties after marriage that would keep someone from not getting bored them.

The real reason is that not all relationships last. When you get to the point where you are getting married, you have reached a point of deeper commitment to each other. Living together before this point can create lots of problems for the two parties if thing should come to an end. Who will move out? Where will they go? How will you divide what has become common property? Etc.

Those are better reasons to reconsider living together before marriage than purely "maybe he'll get tired".

You close your eyes to shut out distractions and to simulate darkness allowing your mind to reach the sleep state easier. When you fall asleep, your normal blink reflexes are no longer operational. This means if your eyes were open, you're more likely to suffer eye damage. So, our bodies keeping our eyes closed is a natural means of protecting them during a pretty vulnerable time.

Typically, when I'm kissing someone, I've no interest in going to sleep.

Hmm. Your initial stories are pretty bad - marrying someone 3 months after meeting them is a recipe for disaster - no need to be some expert to figure this out.

Being in a relationship for 9-16 years before marriage AND it's only THEN that you start to notice things about her that you didn't before - that suggests that you are incredibly slow and stupid - again, no need to be an expert to figure out this is a recipe for trouble.

bernoulli:

never in your life trust a woman that kisses with her eyes wide open,

Why? I kiss with my eyes open. What is untrustworthy about me?

And I can trace the origin of computes back to electronics and concepts in math. So, what is your point. Computes didn't just appear fully formed. There is plenty of technological and mathematical achievements that are needed to make it possible. Also, any future development requires more than just computes. No matter how you slice it, a compute is just a glorified calculator or abacus. It only does exactly what it is told to do.

BTT:

What for. She takes my name. should there be any debate about that? Even if she be Bush Daughter. What has that got to do wit my OWN home, or adulterating my surname? Nairaland sef.

Given that it will no longer be just YOUR home or surname, I think there could be some debate.

I read somewhere that the moon is made of cheese.

bluehorizo:

Your post is confusing. Are you the man or the woman? Why do you have to change a name when you get married? Is she not the one who is suppose to bear your name? Do you know what you are talking about? By the way you wrote,it is very clear that you are the "wife".LOL

I'm not sure what is confusing about my post.

1) I can understand why changing one's name is not desireable.
2) I illustrate reasons why this would be a problem for me. These reasons are gender neutral as far as I can tell. This means it applies just as easily to a man as they do to a woman.

My wife can keep hers or combine it. I can understand a need to retain ones name. By the time I'm married, there would be too many achievements and publications tied to my name. To lose that train, when someone does a literature search on your name because they want to find more of your publications and the trail ends at some point because you got married and it changed, that can be damaging to one's career.

Our children though will definitely either have mine or our combination though.

Given the amount of words and sounds that exist in language, I'm sure for any number of languages original to the same continent, we can find random words that have similar sounds and meanings.

You want to demonstrate a real connection, we need to go beyond a random assortment of similar words, there needs to be a whole category of words that are similar, verbs and conjugations, sentence structure, culture, etc.

. . . I'll just address the issue of slavery

Charleston SC was the major port of entry for slaves into the USA. About 70-75% of all slaves brought into the US came through that port.

http://www.historiccharleston.org/experience/arh/slavery_charleston.html

The first slaves in what we consider now to be the USA were also brought into SC in the area that became Charleston, however, the first slaves brought into British held territories were brought into VA, likely Jamestown.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slavery_in_Colonial_America

what is AS?

I'm am shocked! Nigerians actually have sex?

See, this again is the influence of western culture. Bringing all sorts of immorality into the country. Before this, we were perfectly content to wait for the stork to delivery our children, now we must be concerned with using condoms for family planning.

Chai!

Hmm

The person with whom I am entering a monogamous relationship with is seeing someone else behind my back.

Sounds like they are cheating on me.

Isn't the response here to end the relationship?

lol, advice here is funny.

@OP - your friend needs to figure out what she wants and which guy best provides that. . if it's even either one of them.

There is nothing wrong about ending a relationship if it ultimately will not lead to the things you want.

thread is suspect.

OP mentions dating for 1 yr 5 mos - when did the person become his fiancee? How is it that none of this came up with the fiancee's family? How is it that you get engaged without sharing that information?

hmm. . . assuming that I'm a guy who cheats on my girl . .

If she gets violent, then we break up.

If she just walks away, then I'll try to find a way to make things up so I can continue sleeping with her and any other girls that I want.

What somze's posts have shown is that there is a difference between the way the internet is used by the older generation. My parents don't use it the way I do. Their private conversations are likely to he carried out over the phone and they would expect that nobody will listen in. likely, his aunt and uncle similarily have aspects of their life that are off-limits to him. of course, by virtue of this, it's not surprising he knows nothing about it.

Islander:

[size=20pt] HELL NO, There is a reason, and a damn good one if I may add, why he or she is your EX[/size]

what is that damn good reason. . .if I may ask?

Gamine:

For where!

The shouldnt raise any kids

Since they are Anti-Creationist

what are they looking for kids For

what will they teach them!!

i am sorry for any child that finds him/herself in that kind of house!!!!

This argument is weak. An egg can be gotten from an egg donor and a surrogate potentially found to bare the child.

If it is a female couple, then all they absolutely need is a sperm donor. Sperm banks exist. .

Irregardless, a couple that is incapable of physically producing children is not necessarily "anti-creationist" if such a term can be applied. A woman who for medical reasons is incapable of having children or a man with low sperm count wouldn't be considered "anti-creationist"?

Or what about a couple that just wants to adopt children? Are they anti-creationist since they don't have any plans to create any of their own?

And of course, the crowd favorite - somehow, everyone seems to forget that most people who we now consider "homosexual" grew up under heterosexual parents. So. . .what exactly would a same sex couple teach their kids? I can't imagine its any different that what heterosexual couples teach theirs. . .except perhaps a little more tolerance of people being different - which I cannot for the life of me see how that is a bad thing.

I'm not sure why she has to "wait 5 years".

If she's asking if she should marry him, looks like their on the precipice of that decision right now. Ultimately, you have to decide if you are willing to go forward without the immediate support of your parents. Parent's tend to be stubborn (because as we get older, we tend to get set in the ways we want things done) but they usually come around. If you can deal with this, and he can deal with this, as well as handle anything from his family's side when they see that your parent's are not initially on-board, then I'd say go for it.

I think you already know this so I'll just say that I think your decision making process is on the right track.

Al Raheem:

@alimony
Like i said u may never get it.
Am given a order by my God, the one and only. The one u don't seem to understand. Being Gay is and was a mistake. BUt what Choice am i being given to be pure 4 thy God, ( if u because of your refusal to Redirect your ways) will i have to stay pure at heart for God. Imagine A man and woman Can Kiss ne time in public. In front of a Preacher. Now should 2 man kiss in front of my Mentor(preacher) and or Kids & I not Protect them. You will be stone w/the biggest brick An order given to us. Old and New testament, Jews, and Catholic, All & Any Religion in truth will do the same. We are Guardians of life. If you allimony reply again- i will then gross u out w/your own sickness, get ready!@4 this!!! Dude your blood will be upon u

I'm not sure you can gross me out. I think perhaps breaking my arm and seeing the bone protruding from my flesh might do it or being in a terrible car accident and seeing some part of my brain matter splattered on the windshield might do it. But next to that, I've got a pretty strong constitution.

The bible says that women should be seen and NOT heard in the church, slaves should NOT run away from their masters, and that God's people should not wear clothing made from mixed fibers (ie that cotton and rayon blend shirt you've got on just bought you a ticket to hell). Ignore this all you want. I've yet to meet someone who can tell me why one part of the bible applies to me but another does not.

Nferyn,

I don't think anyone can prove the existence of God anymore than we can actually prove scientific theories on the origin of the universe or even our planet.

I think there is some causality to proving the existence of things - in that in order for me to prove that A exists, I must have come into existence before A.

Now of course, I can probably prove you exist so that argument seems weak on the surface, but later today I'll do some research on that idea.

luvbooks:

a) What makes you think that witchcraft is a universal negative?Obviously whoever started this topic acknowleged its existence,so did a lot of other people who said a thing or two, so it cannot be a "universal" negative.

He was responding to this:

luvbooks:

You still haven't answered my question.Can you , or can you not prove that witchcraft does not exist?YES OR NO? (who cares whether its your position or not)

He was not saying that 'witchcraft is a universal negative'. In other words, it is impossible to prove that witchcraft does not exist.

luvbooks:

b) Obviously you are trying to relate witchcraft to a huge invisible treasure.But that's exactly what i'm trying to tell you.You cannot see witchcraft, you can only feel it's effects when it is placed on you.

Exactly! Why can't Nferyn understand this! I've told him many times, even though you never SEE the tooth fairy, you can certainly see and feel the results of the money left under your pillow when you wake up in the morning. Somehow, he always claims that it was somebody else (like my mom) leaving the money there. As if. I bet if you asked him, he would say that there was some other cause to whatever you attribute to "witchcraft". Of course, the lack of any evidence from direct victims/witnesses/practitioners makes it harder to argue against his case. It's always interesting that these things happened to my cousin's friend's brother's half-sister's senior - I mean, with so many degrees of separation, it MUST be true!

luvbooks:

c) I wanted to know your nationality because if you were an African, I would have loved to know your reasons for not believing in witchcraft.But since you say you're from Belgium,it's really not worth the trouble and I won't bother.
Cheerio!

My dad is Nigerian and my mom, American. I spent the first 7.5 years of my life in Nigeria. Unfortunately, apparently witchcraft is only concentrated in small areas, so I never observed it or heard about it. Then after moving to the USA, where witchcraft is even rarer (apparently the inquisition burned a lot of them before they made it on the Mayflower and the remaining were hung to death at the Salem witch trials), so it is not surprising that I too don't give any credence to witchcraft. I suppose the best way to treat it is like a mental disease. Since I'm not crazy, I will never hear any voices in my head. However, for the insane, those voices are very real. So, my approach to witchcraft is the same as my approach to someone's "voices" - whatever you say man. . .just put the knife down . . .slowly.

SmartK. . .have you really been out of school for that long.

Your solution will work, but . . . well, perhaps given my field, I have a preference for very concise solutions :-)

I actually wrote that post while I was working full-time, though I'm back in school. My attitude on doing homework for other people remains the same. Based on my classroom experience and the wording of the question, it is quite obviously a request to do someone's homework.

The category is to "Post your C questions here" not "Do Someone's Homework". Even then, my psuedocode all but gave them the solution, assuming they've been paying attention in class up to this point.