₦airaland Forum

Ikem11:
Delete that your mentality cos your eyes will open when you in jail.

For every stupid rape apologist on this thread

jaxxy:
Everybody talking down on the man like he is a potential psychopath without calling out the stupid wife.

How dare a woman treat her loving and caring husband the way this woman treated him? Month after months this man was subject to sexual deprivation and Torture by a selfish and uncaring wife and at some point he lost it.

It wasn’t the 1st she rejected him he did this it was over a long period of toture and frustration with no explanation in sight.

Should he have done this No! He should have looked for a better way to address the wrong behavior of his erring wife.

Not sure why you’re mentioning me with this bullshit. But seeing as you have, here’s what I have to say:

You don’t use cutlass to kill fly.

Whether the wife stupid o abi she no stupid o, the bottom line is pretty simple. Rape and domestic violence is never permissible. You don’t ‘call out’ victims.

Focus on the point, all this character analysis/assassination is irrelevant.

OP wasn’t talked down. He was not only asked to seek help so that he doesn’t lose self-control and commit another crime in blind rage, but also to support the healing of his home.

It’s like you skipped a section.

After you described what life is like without your mum, you said a girl was coming to live with the family for studies.

Who is the girl and what exactly is the issue

Something is amiss here

Mummiesgirls4:
Am a moda of 4 girls by 2 different men , 2 lives with deir fada one with my parents and i onli stay with my last baby 1 years and 5 months . I I relocated to asaba to start afresh and i met my new guy in june , he loves me so much and has accepted my baby like his own , we are staying together but i i haven't told him abt my 3 other children , i lied to him that i only have 1 child i I didn't tell him about them because they don't live with me and its not necessary to mention them now . I love him so much and i don't want to loose him because he is my everything on earth. Did i do the right thing please advice me.

You don lose am. Better check yourself before you lose your kids too, imagine growing up learning that your mother is denying your existence because of preeq

socialmediaman:
You have to give her time and support. Taking responsibility means accepting that she needs time to heal from the trauma you caused. You hurt your wife and you want her to bounce back to normal immediately so that you can have a good meal? It sounds selfish and insensitive. It seems spousal rape isn’t captured in Nigeria’s penal code, if that’s the case, I suggest you do your time showing remorse and making reparations

I think this is pretty sound advice. On top of that though Noah9, you need to really get to the bottom of that rage that overtook you. What you did is only on the surface - the issue runs deep and it may still come out in a different way or for different reasons.

If you can, seek some sort of professional therapy to really overcome that inner violence.

But don’t expect her to love you to the same degree as she did. That’s just me keeping it real. Just accept that as your sentence and make the most of it

Nndo o,

Just take your time to really grieve ok? Then when it’s time and on your own terms, continue where you left off.

Kriss216:
He's not stingy.. He's just being prudent with his resources. Imagine spending 50k on a head that can't recite States and capitals.

Prudence means his children living in face me I face you with house boys abi?

Village pipo no dey rest

I actually burst out laughing upon reading this title

Mvena:
To join cult
To stay wicked
Remain wicked

Weray

On repeat

CanadaOrBust:
Well said sis, but u r actually comparing these things we have in Nigeria to Italian Mafia style crime FAMILIES! Unbelievable! Even the Bloods and Crips gangs in US are better organized and more extensive than our “cults”. Anyway that’s what such groups are called the world over - gangs. And their major hallmark is that they fight members of other gangs, which Mafia doesn’t do.
But even mafiosi are also called gangsters. See below

Ohhhh interesting

CanadaOrBust:
What Nigerians call “cults” are actually gangs.
So “internal gang affair in SA“ is cultism and cultistupdate is right posting them here

Well highlighted in regards to the two terms.

Just to add quickly, in English language, the term cult is mainly used for distinct and spiritual/religious sects. But I wouldn’t say these ‘cults’ are gangs either, they are far too complex, organised and strategic, but a gang is generally not so formal or structured.

Mafia would be the best term

This is not the way to deal with a man that hurt you.

I will leave it there.

Drella:
You like this thread sha

This thread is the real documentary. Everything else na wash

The one in purple missed the assignment

iLoveYouToo:
You’re not a SIMP yet till you forgive and take her back. The ball is in your court. Shey no be Amarisco do you this thing?

Go and sleep jor

JInseiMatters:
Pastor Wf kumuyi was addressing infidelity in marriages, but this time he hit the nail at the very head. He turned to the Husbands and said if your WIFE is not BEAUTIFUL, its your fault. He went further to give an in-depth analysis and then proved his point.

The reason because most husbands (guys) compare their wives with other ladies, is because most times they see their wives at the wrong times while they see those other ladies at the right time. He said, most times Husbands see their wives when they are stressed up in kitchen, in the morning when they just woke up with stinking mouth and unkempt hair etc. However, they see those other ladies only in their best moments, when they dress to kill, with full make-up, bathed with expensive perfume, etc.

Get full gist here


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5l5ZS5tvtg

Dont forget to share their someone who need to watch this too.

Oluwasaeon if you share this thing one more time I go unfollow u sharp

esky158:
Dat year for school way I just learn work na my 3 hostel guy I first use do practice for work way I learn oooo I use one fine girl for my department pic for Facebook take chop them maga I just the bill my guys for different things ga including menstruation pad them the send I go use the same money way them send me carry them go out on Fridays talk said na client pay na one day way one if my guy be the use my phone play game and warey come the check my FB for babe na him they caught me sha

Wetin happen after dem catch you

Just keep us posted

Apparently the smaller the classroom, the more attention and scaffolding a child gets

30naira:
Interesting read. This is the first time I have seen research on gender pay gap in Nigeria. I read through, only one seem to discuss the issue exhaustively. So clearly, men earn more money than women on the average. That's what the research shows.

Much of it has nothing to do with discrimination. It's mostly the choices women make. Quite Noble of them.
I

Much of what has nothing to do with discrimination?

You picked and chose the parts to quote so as to suit your agenda. This isn’t politics, yet you turned it into a toss of seriously damaging, misguided, unfounded claims. Whether or not this is the first time you have heard of something is irrelevant to its existence. Women receiving less pay is not a Nigerian topic as you tried to drive, but a global phenomenon observed throughout. so you do well 30naira to simply observe the world around you.

I won’t comment further on this thread before it turns into cynicism. My initial claims - at least the one you felt was flawed - have been thoroughly substantiated on several fronts, preserving reliability & cross-cultural validity.

But first let me leave you with lengthy excerpts of the conclusions from each research for the sake of others.

Since economic growth is largely dependent on the wellbeing of women, improving the status of women is not simply about social justice and human rights but economic growth. Unequal treatments bring about inefficient allocation of resources. A nation’s competitiveness is jeopardized when skilled workers from any segment are excluded arbitrarily from employment opportunities or prevented from working up to full potential because of discriminatory practices, hostile workplace environment, or unnecessary inflexible employment policies. Organizations who want to gain competitive edge and advantage cannot overlook necessary skills and experience merely because of gender. This is a principle underlying efforts to attract a diverse work force.

There is a wage penalty for married women with children in the paid-employment labour market, but motherhood is also negatively associated with income levels for self-employed women. We also find a fatherhood penalty for paid-employed men. Nevertheless, overall, the gender difference is higher in relatively less regulated self-employment compared to the more regulated paid employment labour market.

Discrimination accounts for a significant portion of gender wage gap, although it is larger in the private sector. Women selection bias is a prominent factor in the private sector, while it is not much of a concern in the public sector. The results also show the existence of glass ceiling in the public sector and sticky floor in the private sector. Policies to address discrimination against women either in wage setting or hiring process should be introduced in both sectors.

Peace

30naira:
I don't have any data to show you, because there is none. That research has not been carried out in Nigeria, to the best of my knowledge. So as a scientist, I can not make any bold claim since there is no data. I will also not import data from the US and argue that it is the same in Nigeria, because social research is location bound I have explained this to you with examples. I believe you have gotten the point already, but just arguing out of spite.
Without data from a research conducted in Nigeria, everything you and I have on this issue are merely opinions.

Sorry I had added the location bound evidence to my original comment before u posted,

Go and see

murphyibiam15:
unteachable proud felon, bye. I won't reply u anymore

Clap for yourself

30naira:
Firstly,
I have explained to you already that social research is location specific! Once again, social research is location specific! It is not relatable period. Let me re emphasize with another example so that you can get it. A US research shows that 70% of people support LGBT rights.

https://news.gallup.com/poll/350486/record-high-support-same-sex-marriage.aspx

Can we simply relate that to Nigeria?? Well NO
Look at the Nigerian research data
https://www.google.com/amp/s/mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSKCN18C2T8
90% of Nigerians support criminalizing homosexuality.

If you ask why men die in US, you get a US answer. What researchers do is to ask the same question in Nigeria and get a nigeria answer.

One the pay gap issue, the burden of proof should be on you. You are the one that alleged that there is a pay discrimination. If you say that you saw a ghost, it's not up to me to prove that there is no ghost. It is you who has to prove that there was a ghost.

I have perused several salary structures in Nigeria, Conhess, conmess, conptiss, conaus etc. I have not seen anyone that has separate pay for men and women. Same as all the establishment I know. I have not heard a woman complain of being paid less because of her gender. So if it exists, please show me.

Ps: I would really love a reply on this. It will wrap up the entire discuss

You keep making counter claims and not presenting any tangible data. Instead you went out of your way to give me LGBT data. There is no essence in that - you could have used that same strength to look for valuable research that disproves what I’ve said

Furthermore we are not in court nor are we discussing the law. So there is no issue of burden of proof here. It’s about analysing the data on ground. Stop telling me what you did or didn’t hear, it holds no weight.

You criticised the research, ok, but you didn’t proffer any alternatives.

It’s either you substantiate your claims or you don’t.

No long ting.

Here’s some ‘Nigerian specific’ research specially curated for you. Waiting eagerly to see yours

https://www.mcser.org/journal/index.php/mjss/article/download/208/193

https://www.ifc.org/wps/wcm/connect/e5379422-79cf-4fb4-8294-7bdbcba0f187/IFC+Nigeria+Gender+Gap+Assessment+Infographic+Update+5.8.21+%28003%29.pdf?MOD=AJPERES&CVID=nIrhlFq

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs40847-019-00079-9

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1035304616677655

murphyibiam15:
The guy is right about the meaning of that quotation though, I'm a researcher and I understand what he meant. Not everything is subject to argument. We're here too to learn and not to argue blindly on who is right or wrong just to massage our ego. Thank you

It is your ego that pushed you to jump in and speak out of point or context. Keep your thanks

Dream on.

Ugandatales:
I knew you would come with an emotional answer. Just answer my simple question.

Thank you prophet Uganda for knowing what I would and wouldn’t do.

Why not do some research around discrimination, glass ceilings, sticky floors, marriage penalty and children penalty. Just do some reading first.

You don’t seem to understand how pay gaps work or are measured and you’re not the only but - at least the angles of some others were a bit more plausible.

I simply refuse to waste any bullet on you.

How icky