₦airaland Forum

Same for me. When my husband travel for business trip and the kids are in school, even that tiny window is enough to make me realise how much I miss my family.

True.

She is beautiful, just that the camera didn't do justice to her looks. Also her hairstyle is offpoint, with little to nothing cosmetics on, and bad lightnings. If an aesthetician give her a good touch, with a competent photographer to seal the deal, her inbox will be flooded by guys asking her out.

Greystone:
My advice is this: Walk away. He may fancy you a little but he definitely doesn't want you enough to be with you.

At best, you are a spare tyre in case other relationships don't work or worse since he knows you like him, you will become his booty call whenever he wants to have sex.

I am a guy and I will tell you the truth;

If a man loves you, there will be no confusion in his mind about it. Nothing can keep him away. But if he doesn't, nothing you do can make him stay.

Listen to this op

phelpy:
please can u kindly send me these pictures
omadide@gmail.com ..thankyou..they re worth keeping

Don't be lazy. Save the pics from nairaland. It's not hard.

Splitmind:
Nigeria is the best country to start a business in with it's strong economic polices, rising currency and respect for due process.

You're joking right?

Married women in the house, I need advice on how to make my husband birthday a memorable one. His birthday is on Saturday, and the lockdown has made it difficult to arrange something for him.

So any thing I can do indoor that will be memorable ? Thanks in advance.

If he is a millionaire, and you guys get married, will you divorce him if for some reason he looses his wealth? If the answer is yes, then you better leave him now, because he is better without you.

Potential is what you should for in a man, the ability to persist and pedal out of any circumstances life throws at him. If he has potentials just as you admitted, then why the worry? Support him and be there for him. And as someone else said, beans no de cook forever.

I doubt you love him though, if you do, You'll support him, not entertain the notion of dumping him. So many women enter relationship to take, but not give, and you wonder why men call women selfish. Now one question for you. What is your presence contributing to his life/relationship with him?

Nothing.

I will just go and hide jejely. You are about to unleash the depravity of humans that has been locked and chained for centuries with laws, enforcement and expected civility.

You and who? I will go and hide because some enemies (if I have any) might kill me, who knows? And I do not have any crime to commit, oh, maybe go rob a bank? but again, lots of cultist and heartless hoodlums have that in mind, and I have no weapon and touts to engage them in a one on one battle. So na to hide sure pass.

Ariza:
The problem is most Nigerian guys won't even recognize a Good woman even if she is standing on their noses. Their quest for big boobs and bum will not let them. Na sex full them brain.

Charlie, the matter tired me sef o. It is not only naija men, Ghanian men too. I think men generally.

RisenPhoenix:
You are a rare example of a sensible, mature lady. I rarely ever find women worthy of compliment on NL, but you are one. If I was not married, you would have been a serious consideration for my attentions.

For the serious single men; in my very expert opinion; this lady right here is a confirmed, guaranteed keeper; ceteris paribus. She exhibits all the signs that she will be a real asset to her husband rather than the soul-depleting, wealth-sucking liability that most women are. Here's your chance; such opportunities are not easy to find.

Thank you.

I think this is a case of the reasonable ones been silent and observing, instead of being all over the place sanctioning anything they do not agree with. I believe there are lots of reasonable women on this forum as well. And yes, I can see what you are talking about. In the age of feminism and female empowerment, it has done harm to women in the sense that it has eliminated the need for many to be self-aware, be open-minded to listen, and look at themselves in the mirror. Also, I can not think of any government-sponsored mechanism that makes women see their toxic behaviors, it is always the men. It is also saddening that lots of women commenting here won't call her out on her bias, hence, gives her the illusion that she is making sense.

sexylassie2:
your plan is show your dirty linen in public but i got no time for lowlives and roadside little bitches.

You just described yourself. Farewell. You are busted.

sexylassie2:
why do you take it on yourself to defend a man, does the man not have hands to write, to counter an opinion, why do you think i will take you seriously, it seems you are the same person, i guess your female moniker,

i still dont understand why you have to take medicine for another person's problem.

let the man counter my opinion, until then, pls do not mention me..thanks

All you keep doing is dribbling away from the main point at hand, without actually saying anything that resembles reasoning. Even if I defend him, and so what? that is what anyone with a sense of morals should do. I am also speaking up, so nairalanders will not think that every woman here is like you, without common sense, toxic, who unashamedly displays her lack of reasoning. You can go ahead and think I am him, after all, I will not expect common sense from someone that cant defends her position when challenged.

Beverlyjean:
No need engaging her...not everyone has the capacity to be intelligent on this forum

It is just sad that women who are proponents of free speech, who want others to respect their opinion go around attacking people who have something different to say. The ability to accommodate alternating perspectives even if it is disagreed with is the hallmark of an intelligent person. P.ansophist laid his point without insulting anyone or the poster, she could have done the same.

Thank you.

sexylassie2:
I find his write up full of garbage, a copy and paste work, nothing unique, no new ideas, stale ideas gotten from watching too much youtube videos, opinions without concrete facts or evidence

good luck depending pseudoscience.

So if his write-ups are opinions without ''concrete facts or evidence'', what are your ''facts and evidence'' to prove that all the rubbish you wrote about him is true and that his perspectives are gotten from youtube? you are going around labeling people's ideas as lacking in evidence, but will not support yours with evidence as well? can you see how you are contradicting yourself? Besides, what exactly is wrong with learning from youtube, assuming he actually did get his points from youtube?

Also, as I wrote before, why don't you challenge him with your ''facts and evidence'' and highlight his ''pseudoscience? if he then fails to justify his stance duly, then it will be clear that you may have a point. That is dignifying and something someone with an ounce of true education, common sense and civility will do. Otherwise, you are engaging in ad-hominem, and anyone with common sense can see through you.

sexylassie2:
I always feel that you are delusional anytime i read your garbage, some mumu might call you intelligent because you come here to write down knowledge you got from watching too much youtube videos.

So a man can call a woman evening newspapers, slut etc but a woman can't broke shame.

The reality of this your redpill nonsense is that many of you glamour for a system where women are caged and her freedom limited.

Gentleman, this is 2020, women are taking responsibilities while the men are busy on drugs or masturbating, instead of them to adapt, they are busy complaining up and down.

Sorry, no lazy idiot can never see my money or pussy.

You would have made sense if you actually point out where p.ansophist is wrong in any of his statements, instead of attacking him. I have been on this forum for long, reads silently and does come across his writeup periodically, and if anything, he justifies his stance sufficiently, and does not go around directly insulting people like you are doing. Disagreeing with his writeup doesn't make it garbage, there are lots of sensible people on this forum that read without attaching emotions to it, with common sense, and appreciates his views and his uniqueness in delivery. I do.

Everything you wrote up there doesn't represent him, or his message. If you think otherwise, again, can you point it out? not insult, but point out where he is biased and challenge him on that. Hopefully, your next reply won't be an insult, and if it is, then you proved my point.

SlimChay:
Describe "predatory males" or rather what type of man is a predator?

Men that targets only the coochie, live for the coochie, and can die for the coochie. Without deserving it

Opoku, this one easy na Charlie.

1. He comments on my physical features alot, and skillfully sexualizes conversations. You'll know them from afar.

2. Their line seems all pre medidated. Like they memorised it from a book or something. One was asking me on day if my father is boko-haram, because I blow up his mind" lol

3. He looks at you with such an intense flirty looks, and never miss a chance to cross examine your figure, assets, especially when you turned your back on him. Trust women peripheral vision, we know that our bodies are under examination.

4. He tries to make sure we hang out in private locations such as his house, to guarantee a free flow of sex if it happens that I am down for it.

5. Trying to get one drunk. Making sure I sip on alcohol to reduce my defensive, to make a woman Hot.

Men eh, I hail una.

No. Staying away from her completely is the honorable thing to do. Her call is a temporary need, and she will resume to her normal disinterest when you fulfil her needs. Do you actually need someone to tell you this ? That could be a reason why she may not want you in the first place. A needy man, that lacks a strong sense of awareness on social dynamics like this is what you are showing here with this question.

As a woman, I can tell you that a delayed response is disinterest. A woman that likes you will not dribble you. She will be patiently waiting for the relationship question and jump on it asap, as otherwise may put you off and she loses you.

lavylilly:
TO THE LADIES:

When you are ready to settle down, dont forget these...

1) Make sure you settle for a man who doesnt see paying your bride price as buying you...

2) Make sure you settle for a man who doesnt see marrying you as doing you a big favour...

3) Make sure you settle for a man who wouldn't use your monthly cramps and mood swings against you,, YES Some men are like that...

4) Make sure you settle for a man who knows you have right to your body sometimes,, who understands you have the right to say NO to sex when its not comfortable for you,, maybe due to weakness or whatever it might be,, and still respect you for that...

5) Make sure you settle for a man who would stick with you inspite of the odds,, who wouldn't compare you to a SWEET 16 after series of child birth (though most women try to work on themselves after child birth,, but truth be told,, you cant remain young forever)...

6) Make sure you settle for a man who would understand that there are just times you might feel too tired to fix the family meal,, and him helping you out wont be a taboo...

7) Make sure you settle for a man who would always allow you air your opinions, who understands you have d right to 'agree' or 'disagree' on a particular issue,, depending on what the case may be,, without always shutting you up before you are done airing your view...

Make sure you settle for a man who doesnt find it difficult saying 'SORRY',, someone who easily asks for forgiveness whenever he wrongs you,, not some kind of 'Autocratic' man,, who expects 'sorry' from you even when it's glaring he's wrong...

9) Make sure you settle for a man who understands that hitting a lady is a crime and shouldnt be done especially to his wife,, not some 'wife beaters' who raises their hands at the slightest provocation...

10) Make sure you settle for a man who loves everything about you,,who loves your soul not just the body,,and who enjoys your company always...

YOU CAN ADD YOURS TOO...

I COME IN PEACE✌

And this is exactly why I'm happy with my husband. Thanks for the reminder of how lucky I am

Jodha:
"doesn't use sex as a weapon"..

So that he'll drain the life out of her in the name of sex....

Nah robot yhu describe...

Then she should change him. This is not a feature of a quality man. So what is your alternative?

ProtectMyMoney:

You are probably right. Even the writer is in Ghana.

I have Nigerian friends at my university and they represent virtue. And Nigerian women are beautiful too, and so confident. I think there always good one if one is willing to search.

Romanoff:
Good woman o, great woman o, virtuous woman o, a man that will still crap on you will crap on you.

The one that will marry you will marry you. Just stay woke enough to know the one who just wants to mark attendance.

#GodlyRelationships.

That is true sister, I agree with you. Though, women have the responsibility to look out for predatory males. We are blessed with the intuition to know, but sometimes, we do not listen to that voice telling us the truth. Keep winning darling.

MrCork:
Girlfriends always lightskin,more beautiful, always fun & always were mini slept plus tight dress

Good woman: hate wering mini skirt, were trousers, dakskin, love going to mosque, very boring, talks about bills, & hate afrobeat!! (true story)

I am trying to understand you sir.

czarr:
We can't find them here in Nigeria ...but we won't give up the search

They are not on social media perhaps, or not the noisemakers.

Varlfott:
I'm not a novice on this subject. I have had some experience with women in the past. But through these experiences and deep thinking I've come to realize that having a girlfriend is pointless and comes with a lot of baggage that I'd rather not deal with.

In my opinion there are only three benefits of having a girlfriend.
1. For Sex
2. For social clout( If she is good looking)
3. For companionship.

Let me break each down and tell you why I don't give a fuçk about any of those benefits.

1. Sex: I'm not a sex freak, in fact my libido is very low. And even if I want to have sex with a lady, I prefer one night stands with strangers where I don't have to keep up contact with them after the sex. I'm very promiscuous and so I can't even do the whole one guy - one woman nonsense. But bear in mind that sex with women is very low on my priority list. I could go weeks without sex and not be overwhelmed with konji.

2. Social clout: Women who are so hot that being their boyfriend gives you social cred are often so high maintenance that the cred they give you pales in comparison to the financial expenses you will make in maintaining their lifestyle. Then there is the constant attention they are going to get from other men and the fact that you'd have to literally "work" to make sure she is getting everything she needs from you so she won't give in to the attention. I'd honestly rather invest my money, time and energy in making money than invest it in sustaining a relationship with a hot woman who will still cheat on me anyway.

3. Companionship: I honestly do not yearn for the companionship of a woman or anyone at all. I'm very okay being by myself and even if I want to hang out with people, experience has thought me that male friends are actually better to hang out with because not only do they have your back everytime, you don't have to deal with the burden of trying to please the. constantly. Also women tend to be very shallow and quality time that involves intellectual discussions is almost never possible with them, especially the attractive ones. In fact the more intellectual the conversation goes, the less interesting you become to the typical attractive Nigerian girl. These ones just want to have fun and talk about shallow nonsense.

If you think there is any benefit in having a girlfriend in Nigeria other than these three that I've done my best to deconstruct a d argue against, please change my view.

Your points seem valid, and as a woman, it pains me muchly to see that men are not the traditional, family-oriented men like my dad, and how I was raised to see men. Personally I love men, from my brothers to my father and boyfriend who made me see the hard work men do to keep society running. Having said that, here are the reasons why I think women are useful to you (if you are open enough to consider different perspectives).

1. If you want to have a child, then I see no way you can have it without a woman. You didn't mention this part in your writeup, but only a woman can fulfill this goal.

2. Feminine energy is needed to motivate you. Society becomes advanced when men are motivated by the thought of creating a wonderful place for their wives and children to thrive. I have two brothers who are married, and to my utmost surprise, both of them doubled their hustle and became responsible, quit playing video games and became good fathers and husband to their family. There is something refreshing seeing this transformation that boys make when life's responsibility shows up, and I don't think this would happen if there are no women in their lives that loves them.

A woman that loves you will give you every reason to stay and see value above what you highlighted. I understand that we live in an era of human being disposable, the illusion of abundance via dating sites and social media, and other toxicity, but be strong, and see it as distractions preventing you from enjoying natural happiness that previous generations did like our parents. Personally, I have actually gave up on men, as all seems just wanna have sex until I met a man that completely changed everything. Be vigilant, and surely, good women do exist.

Lastly, and most importantly, do you not want kids that will live after you? to continue your paternal line and everything you have built for yourself? Even the sex you mentioned is a human thing, it is a primal, strong drive that most people can't do without, it is not an object or something you can refuse to engage it. You have to be really tough, or an asexual no to love sex. Do reconsider your stance, and I hope the day that men and women will not see value in each other never comes.

Angela.

I have been on this forum for quite some time now as an anonymous, and the cries of men being handed their balls by women whom they thought love them are ubiquitous. In this regard, here is some list of things to determine, to know if a woman is a keeper, and you shouldn't waste your time on her if she is not.

1. A girlfriend will complement your outfit, a woman will complement your being

A girlfriend is merely interested in the ''now'', her motto is ''what's in for me''? her selfishness triumphs your common interest, and as much as your actions satisfy her ego and score social points, she will stay. But a good woman is more interested in your being, your success, your path, potential and what you stand for. These are criteria she considered before choosing you as her man, and if you retain your core personality and value, temporary fluctuations such as finance will not break her commitment. She thinks longterm and willing to embark on that journey with you, while supporting you in her feminine ways.

2. You can be yourself around her.

You do not need to put up a different face when meeting her, just to represent the illusionary idea of you she has in her head. If she is visiting and you are temporarily out of cash, it won't make you feel insecure or undergo inconvenience just to not be your true self. If you can tell her that you are short of cash and that she should come with something, then she is a good woman. If you have to lie about your life situations such as your job, salary, family background to retain her interest, then it is actually time to live as such a union is not sustainable.

3. Does small stuff for you

Helps you clean, buy stuffs for you, assist you, be there for you, express emotions and she supports you, open to you, compliments you, defend you, make you a beneficiary of her artistic skills. For example, I love writing, and I write a lot of poems for my bf in the form of sticky notes hidden under his pillowcase, inside his work bag, his suit pocket, car boot, teacup, just anywhere I could sneak something into. And guess what, he loves it to pieces. It makes him miss me a lot when I am not in town, and our relationship is stronger as the day goes by.

4. Doesn't use sex as a weapon

Men love sex, and women loved to be loved. If a woman is convinced that her man loves her, she will not withhold sex, as she will equally enjoy it with her man. A lady that denies man sex, or uses it as a bargaining chip for her request doesn't love and a man should be careful in marrying her. Normally when women feel insecure, unloved and not sure about the definition of the relationship, it is possible that she will not be interested in sex, as to have sex, a woman needs mental stimulation first. This should not be interpreted as a reluctance to give sex. But all things being equal and balance, a woman that loves you will not use sex as a weapon.

5. You will be her best friend.

Your intuition will tell you if she tells you everything and sees you as an integral part of her life. She will remember your birthday, be interested in your family affairs, tell you everything, and ask you about everything. Your presence will make her feel good and happy, a natural antidote to the stress and noise of living.


Hope this helps

As a woman, I will tell you that If a woman likes you, she won't put you through those hoops. If she starts requesting, she is not attracted to you.

That I am a bimbo, and I hate it.

Men seem to have this idea that beautiful women tends to be dumb and care only about looks. Meanwhile, I am a professional lady that earns my own money, have my own place and sponsor my younger brother in the uni. I am a Christian and take religion seriously. it keeps me sane. I am intelligent, focus driven and true to myself.

chigoizie7:
Why marry him in the first place?

Desperation, compromising, lack of self-control, the list is endless. To love and marry someone does not necessarily mean one does not find others attractive. Just that self-control and faithfulness is not something most people can exercise.

As much that there are a lot of women like this, there are lots of women out there who are not like this. Good women do not spend their time on social media abusing. There are also cases of women who fell in love and gave their all, and were jilted by their lover, making it so hard to move on and bond with another man. Please be careful with generalization, as lots of women are there are virtuous, and their voice not heard, or not sexy enough to attract male attention.