₦airaland Forum

Evina:
Lol. In this regard, I can't have my way. My Fiance says there MUST be a white wedding. He wants it and I can't deny him his wish.

We also do NOT like the idea of asking family to pay for anything, except in cases where they may consider it a slight. Even after we said no asoebi, family still decided to do their thing. Lol.

Ok. That solves it then. In as much as the "burden" is not from outsiders.
Asking family to pay for it is not like you can't afford it. Just that if there is any luxury they want that won't fit into your budget,they better handle it.
It is well. You will only take as much as you can.

Truckpusher:
It's not normal and this is what you get in a society where money answereth any prayer but the blame goes to the intending couples that sees it as a do or die affair and most at times the man is usually subtly pressured by the woman ,the wife-to-be after all her friends did some kind of big wedding but my final blame goes to the man who knows that he'd be the one bearing the brunt while the woman folds her legs only to open them and make babies like rats plunging the man into more chaos.

Have you bothered to ask why you have more widows in the society more than widowers?

Na truck load of words you push come this thread o. Lolz.
Anyways,na true you talk just that the thing mix with some serious harshness.

HoneySwag:
Hmmmm see wat poverty is causin ooooooo. Work hard for success n u won't be rantin all these bullshit, instead u'll enjoy spendin money on expensive stuffs....

You have a point except that as it concerns this subject matter,it doesn't tally.
Money or no money,people detest being enslaved to a foreign mentality and unnecessary financial burden.

Evina:
Especially in Nigeria where the wedding is not just about the couple but families as well.

More reason for the families to bear the expenses. Let them handle the wedding "ceremony" while you handle the marriage (which you are expected to anyway).

Evina:
Honestly! And you need to attend the marriage classes organized by some churches to see how the counsellors and pastors do shakara. They even told us we MUST specially feed the pastors and ALL the church unit members!

That is because they have been enjoying the privilege that is attached to such arrangement. Setting up a new system that would place them at par with the old levitical priests;always having to benefit regardless of who suffers.

Evina:
If I had my way, NO white wedding! I have even told my vineyard that there will be no bride's maids, groom's men and asoebi!

You can have your way. Traditional wedding only is rather becoming the order of the day. More people are embracing the truth (which always sets people free) and damning the sentiment of "church white wedding" burden.

Evina:
I am very irritated at the thought of spending so much for a ceremony that wouldn't last more than a few hours. All those talk of you only wed once don't move me. There is a life after the wedding!

You can follow my pattern. Tell them that they should carry the burden of the party while you alone pay for the bride price.
Moreover,awon lo ye ki wan se igbeyawo for omo (na dem suppose dey proud of doing marriage for their child)

ammyluv2002:
Trash! White wedding is a waste of resources, it's not biblical. People need to be wise and stop chasing shadows. Paying of the woman's bride price is what expected of every male Christian to perform even the celebration after paying the dowry is a total waste, I don't subscribe to it. Any pastor that refuses to recognise a wedding done traditionally needs to be questioned if he truly understands the bible.

I wouldn't even recognise such pastor myself.

ammyluv2002:
Trash! White wedding is a waste of resources, it's not biblical. People need to be wise and stop chasing shadows. Paying of the woman's bride price is what expected of every male Christian to perform even the celebration after paying the dowry is a total waste, I don't subscribe to it. Any pastor that refuses to recognise a wedding done traditionally needs to be questioned if he truly understands the bible.

I wouldn't even recognise such pastor.

Buhari should give him national award since GEJ had finished with his own award giving...in case.

^ This is nairaland. A sample population of Nigerians are here.
Some nairalanders are here for fun.
Some MODs are like some politicians...
The owner be like the current OR any past president (good OR bad OR indifferent attitude about this kind post)...him own na make the forum dey row.

I no holy pass sha. This makes me want to be a "Father Theresa"

Colomentality

If you say you be colonial man,
you don be slave-man before,
them don release you now,
but you never release yourself...

As simple as it sounds,na so e be. Na colomentality.
Xenocentrism

Olsoo:
•SUN: If the World Meteorological Organization had visited UNILORIN in 2012,they wouldn't have named the 'Death Valley' the hottest place in the world. You go to school in the morning looking cool,bright and dapper but it's your dark twin that arrives in the afternoon.
The most annoying part about the Sun is it's dehydrating aspect. So annoying. Going to the Bank Area by foot is like taking a voluntary walk to hell.It's no different from carrying the sun on your head. Wearing caps and shades offers little/no help I must say. *By the way,I wonder how the 'Suit and Tie' and 'Varsity Jacket' dudes cope.

If you never go another person farm,you go think say na your papa farm big pass - Yoruba proverb.

Ask Gwags student or try FUTMinna. No go too far. Try those two places first

ureach:
They took his shoes...

Maybe he had no shoes

Like this valentine wey just pass...

Kachisbarbie:
Have you ever been in that position where it felt like you have found that one person who means much more than a lot to you?
 

He spoils you silly with love and you feel like, before you, after you, beyond you, nothing else matters, just you.
 
And then all of a sudden --- you find yourself soliloquizing in the lines below;
 
How does a person love up on someone so much only for them to give you the cold treatment just after you decide to love them back, perhaps even more than they showed you? 
 
How can someone who had all the time in the world for you suddenly become busy and unlovely and unloveable?
 
Somehow, you know the individual doesn't despise you, but as is obvious, their action(s) doesn't quite measure up.
 
Now, there are two things involved here:-
 
Either that person has become plain disinterested in you and is actually giving you the green light to move on with your life 
 
Or 
 
Maybe, just maybe, it's about time you pursued them too; maybe it's time you loved up on them - more.
 
So, I want to make a proposal; as we all know --- life is a teacher, like Jim Palmer would say - "there's twice as much we don't know, than we do know". 
Granted, I'm yet to get past my confuzzlement on why the male folk especially, lead ladies on to a certain extent only to turn them into bundles of insecurity, all the same:- 
 
My proposal goes thus:-
 
- I'd like for us to re-adjust our definition of love.

- Let's operate from this base of understanding that beyond the frills and thrills, underlying and over the top excitement; Love Is A Decision.

- It's about time we turned on our humanity towards our partner.

 
If you really love that guy AND YOU THINK HE IS WORTH IT, despite his below par performance, love up on your man, love him, not because you are desperate - no, no; not as a means to manipulate him into doing your biddings [i] mbanu (no),[/i]let your actions towards him flow from a pure heart, as much as you can, give your best into the relationship without expecting so much.

In addition to your points, many ladies think that their role is to be the recipient of love and every other good things in a relationship thus they can't stand anything other than being a beneficiary and being chased. 

Kachisbarbie:
"But Adannaya, what if he doesn't reciprocate, what if I genuinely get tired and I just need to break it off with him"

To this,I'll say: if a lady thinks that she's worth a man's chase,he should be worth hers too.

Baba,get a broom and sweep that paper off abeg.

shdemidemi:
Bro, noticed you sent me a mail. I cld not read it because I no longer have access to that address. Hope all is well?

Yea bro,all is well. I wanted you to help with something. Send me an email. Use my NL handle @gmail.com.
Thanks.

Bayswater:
May God bless you this morning, my brother.
You have hit the nail on the head.

Amen,may God bless you too.

dollyparton:
Some Nigerians are downright insensitive; have impunity running deep in their blood arteries; have no sense of history; and have been thoroughly compromised!

"Many Nigerians" would be correct in this case. "History" has gone down into history. Sentiment and propaganda,ignorance and poverty,selfishness and love of capital gains have taken over our people's mind.
Nigerians need education. Most of us are literate but uneducated.

Though this sounds more like a joke but it's worth looking into.

"N1,000 has been deducted from your account for !@#$%^&*()_+ campaign. Thank you for banking with us." What will you do?

A friend just sent that message to me;asking what my reaction will be.


On a serious note now,have you made financial contribution to any political aspirant? If no, will/can you make such contribution?
Share your reason.

darejeg2002:
pls guys, a love song just popped in my head tonight and I don't know who sang it..
pls if you do let me know...thanks


Iwo ololufemi o jowo
dakun ye ma komi (sile, sile)
Iwo ni moferan (I love you)
ni gbo gbo aye Mi
...
...bo j'owo life
ololufe o ma fun e (fun e, fun e)
bo j'aso lofe
ololufe o ma raso fun e (fun e, fun e)
no j'ele lo fe
ololufe o ma ko fun e (fun e, fun e)
bo j'omo lo fe
a a ke p'oluwa ko fun was lomo
Iwo ololufemi o jowo
dakun ye ma komi (sile, sile)
Iwo ni moferan (I love you)
ni gbo gbo aye Mi

Orlando Julius

No sentiment but we still translate "Jesus' disciple" as "almajeri Yesu" in the north here despite the almajeri identity.

I still believe that the salutation "peace be unto you" remains "salam aleykum". Like JeruSalem is city of peace.

I don't know sha. It is well in Jesus name.

My own na say "is it possible for Nigeria to overcome this power issue?"

Considering the technical and political factors. Remember the "cabal" that live on the system that sustains these problems.

ToroJah:
So dear Family have made up my mind to deny my dad cos he's the one that put me in this mess I will tell the next man in my life that he's dead cos to me he's good as dead, his presence in my life is causing me tears daily.

If you as sure it will solve the problem then go ahead BUT what I know is that the memory of such move will be a dark secret to you. What happens if your in-laws eventually finds out? You most likely will be labelled and treated like a plague. Your case before them might end up being worse than your dad's before you.
Deal with it,forgive the man,he's not your problem. You'll find a man and a family that will accept you regardless IF you are a good person.
What do I mean by "a good person"? Don't carry hatred along into your marriage. The hatred you most likely would carry along is what those families are avoiding NOT you.

ToroJah:
Lastly, advice to those searching, study your partner before saying "I do" don't depend on arranged marriage cos my parent own was a product of such that's why it was difficult for them to accommodate and understand each others flaws thereby leading to my dad abandoning us.

There's more problem to marriage than it being arranged. The nature of the people involved,and the level of their knowledge also matter. So you are right about accommodating and understanding each other's flaws - their nature and knowledge BUT even un-arranged weddings break.

ToroJah:
Love is not always enough so marry your friend so you too can still be together even when hard times set in.

Love here refers to the butterfly feeling and the romantic moods. What friends have for each other is called love also -- such that is referred to as "agape". Marriages need both.
When you find someone that you both share such kinds of love with,such person will be your friend (so people won't mistake "friend" literary as someone familiar to them eg a childhood friend).

Stay blessed

NickiRoman:
By the way many Beautiful African Ladies are getting married every Saturday.

Abi...they keep leaving other "beautiful African ladies" behind to wait for good men. I guess their patience usually pay off otherwise they just front the banner "I'm happy being single" *wink*

brito:
10, no matured man to marry. You see a guy of 40 behaving like a 10years old, its better to remain single than to marry a man who refuse to grow up.
Being single is not a crime. Don't go into marriage thinking he will change with time cos he will never change. I need a world without em.

I want to believe you are already living in a world without a man. Lolz.

Mogidi:
Armed robbers arrested.....good
How about pen robbers?

Tinubu has been robbing Lagosians blind for more than a decade, he still walks free.

This is the part where Fela comes in.
AUTHORITY STEALING PASS ARMED ROBBERY

...Armed robber him need gun, authority man him need pen,
authority man in-charge of money,
him no need gun him need pen,
pen get power, gun no get,
if gun steal 80 thousand naira,
pen go steal 2 billion naira,

You no go hear them shout Tinubu thief! thief!! thief!!!

Na civilized style be them styleeee...yes yes yes yes.

striktlymi:
Yet to see that movie brah.

Nah,the movie line is not close to your story. I'm just saying that when a man sees the qualities he wants in a woman,whether she is a maid or not,he might go for her.
Truth is nothing is bad about it,but just be ready for anything. Good or/and Bad.

twosquare:
no....law of Moses are contained in the torah, the levite's book, the book of Jubilees etc....the writings of the prophets are not law of Moses nor the psalms, u have to understand that....that they are grouped under the Old testament in the bible, you shouldn't be programmed in your mind that okay anything in the Old testament is the Law of Moses...no...

LOLZ...I didn't think so. My question is independent of a general OT is law of moses mindset.
I just asked if they "possibly" read the law of moses.
Thanks,you've been great so far.

striktlymi:
If I do get one she must be very presentable and neat. Wouldn't mind one who is educated to certain level.

With such qualities,E don dey near that of maid in manhattan...you know how the story ended ba?

twosquare:
the scriptures most often read are the writings of the Prophets, Psalms and that of the Patriarchs.

The doctrine is that which was given by the Apostles and some were added through the help of the spirit of revelation.

So they possibly read the law of moses?

political extremist using religion as an instrument of chaos.
They are spreading a net for their own feet.