₦airaland Forum

I do only when I comb or brush my hair. It is some vanity that I am not used to.

cococandy: I tire o.
I know the guy is not hundred percent and he's not like them tough former military leaders.
But if they had given him support from the beginning and put away all the schemes to rock the foundations of this nation,he would have done better than he is doing now.
Even with all the distractions,he's still trying.

How is he trying?In the way he has failed to perform the primary duty of government which is security? In the loans taken from China to upgrade our airports that are still glorified hangers?Is it in 'spending' 1 trillion Naira in fighting Boko Haram this year alone without any significant progress?

He is trying in the about 500 Billion Naira the NNPC has looted unaccounted for?What of the 20 Billion Dollars Sanusi accused them of looting that led to his sack?Is the audit report ready?The Billions Diezani has spent parabulating the globe in chartered jets,are these pennies that she should still be there?Making Tompolo so rich with the waterways contract which is NIMASA's original role?These are few of the indices of his failed leadership.

Now ANY of these amounts can change the fate of a serious country. Not just him,we have no leaders anywhere in Nigeria.

Abeg,make we no start to debate this guy.

alutacontinua: lol
y'all should let his angel catch you, my hand no dey oo

Well,well,well...Make una come back abeg. Aluta-C no get my time again o.

specialguest: God bless you. Especially if that "aunt or uncle" got in from a low cadre and grew through the ranks over the years. They feel threatened when you come along with your fancy degree at 20-something years knowing you are young with more potentials.

Anyway my advice to job seekers is to keep applying regardless of whether you know "Aunty Director, Uncle MD" or not! Some of us got employed that way simply on MERIT with no connections whatsoever.

Thanks. And for giving hope with your story,thanks.

People believe that the standards they set in suffering,delayed marriage,delayed child birth,delayed postgraduate degrees and others should be followed by others. This is the bane of love and progress in our society.

I once jokingly sent a mail to a close family member who is an executive director with a foremost assurance arm of a bank on working with them briefly before I come back to the UK for my PhD. He ignored it until I resent another reminding him. He apologized and said nothing dey for now. How does a mail on opportunities that may arise within a year get that?

I smiled and listed him out of my life. Let all keep faith in God and keep the efforts for all we really desire or need going. It turns out well,always.

You forgot the most important: they are determined not to see you become any form of success. They consider your coming on board a threat to their place and future there.

This is more true about us Africans than all your reasons.

bukatyne: You did not answer my question

I just skilled through some of your topics and thread contributions. And I am moved to do business with you from a christian perspective.

I like Myles Munroe a lot and his magna opus on christian marriage,for me,remains the foremost classic text that answers this question after the Bible.I am talking of The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage. I will urge you to buy and read this masterclass. I can buy one from here for you!

You will see his analysis of the Garden of Eden marriage and the principles underlying it. By the way,this marriage was a marriage in Judaism as Christianity started with Christ millenia after this.

Now,Myles articulated marriage as a fellowship of love with God whom both couple owe fidelity to and are faithful to each other because of this. His concept of love is tied to our purpose on earth which is fellowship with God. Yet he acknowledges that our NATURAL NEEDS and how they are met sustains this commitment to each other that flows from a commitment to God.

For him,what keeps marriage is meeting our needs and staying fully faithful to marriage as a covenant of love entered not for the couple's sake but for God.

NB:I am a catholic!

Oya,bye!

bukatyne: You did not answer my question

If you have not found an answer in my many words,then I am sorry to say you should look elsewhere.

bukatyne: The only thing that sustains marriage in a Christian POV is love

What do you know as love if we are not to use the Christian definition?

@Bolded, very true

Well,yes,if that concept of love has Christ at its core.

bukatyne: @Bolded: No worries then

Thought you were a Christian; wanted to bring the definition from the Bible

I am a Christian, yet I know that we are slaves of human nature in reality than christian ideals. For example,the Bible is clear on fornication,how many of us are virgins even as singles? What of adultery as lustful sight?

By the way everyone on Nairaland are not Christians. Do we now quote St Paul's letters to define love and marriage to everyone?Marriage is dictated by love but sustained by more. Go figure dear.

andromida: Na wa o just to define love na grammar we come dey see.

Sorry ma.

It was obvious to anyone who watched the Eagles at the last world cup that the two will be clubless soon enough.

I hope they start looking for clubs in the US,Ukraine and Russia before they are pushed out soon.

bukatyne: Sorry to digress

I always hear that love is not enough to keep a home, please define love

I will not devalue love and its meaning by attempting a definition. I will just give some illustrative lines.

Forget scriptural exigesis. There is a reason why love is not called wisdom,understanding,maturity,capacity to consummate and satisfy the sexual demands of a union. Love is not what buy food and groceries for the home. In short,love is not what buys the asoebi madam wants to wear for her friend Nkiru's wedding.

Yes,love is foundational to a union but not its sustaining superstructure. I will recreate Cardinal Macinkus' saying that the Catholic Church is not ran on 'Hail Mary' alone to say marriage does not survive on love alone.

Nashville: Best comment on this thread. Very soon, she would want her children to also bear her maiden name. Or better still, in the spirit of equality, if they have four children, two will bear her maiden name and the other two will bear her husband's name. Isn't that what equality is about?

Then the next fight will be which of the children will bear whose name? But there must be something to fight about because it seems the idea of marriage is to fight endlessly and prove a point.

Well said.

Nigeria is messed up at all levels. Yet some dark minds will be praising a government that has not made creation of employment opportunities for millions of our youths a priority even after 5 years in power.

My realistic advice to all our graduates is to raise some little money and go on to do masters/PhD in universities where programmes are not delayed and are cheap.UniZik Awka ranks high on these.

With the expansion in the university system,lecturing jobs are many and easy to get by the prepared. And very many lecturers have returned into public service,politics and corporate world as key participants and leaders. It is an assured but bent pathway to our dreams.

Come to think of it,4 years spent looking for a job can be spent earning a masters and a PhD with guaranteed jobs even after the masters and in the first year of the PhD.

Ask him if he is seeing you as a slave then. He is still rooted in that barbaric culture and concept of marriage.

eleojo23: People say there as different kinds of love but whichever it is, love is not easy.
The moment you say in your mind or with your mouth ' I love this person, or I love my family or I love my friend' You're indirectly saying 'I'm ready to work to make your life happy and worthwhile as much as I can'
When a man loves a woman, or a father/mother loves his/her family, it places a responsibility on such a person. Take for instance, a man/woman loves a woman/man, he/she first of all begins the emotional work of caring and worrying over the safety and happiness of his love. He or she is also compelled to show gestures that portray his/her hearts intentions. Such as taking the person out, buying them gifts, and making sure that they are generally happy. It may also involve helping the object of one's love to get over a past or present hurt.

Also consider a father who loves his children. Some fathers have to work themselves tired just to make sure that their wife and kids are happy. What is pushing him? Love. Same goes for a mother, she may sacrifice her career just to make sure that her husband and kids have the best of life. She ensures that everyone in the family is happy. What is also her driving force? Love for her family. Love is work.

Like all work, there are times when you may not get the satisfaction you want from the work you've done. Sometimes because the object of your love isn't as receptive or appreciative of your affection as you expected . This is where the hurt comes in.
But that is inevitable because love is work and like all hard work, you can get hurt.
In fact, the moment you love someone or your family, you instantly give them the right to hurt you.
Husband and wives hurt each other, kids hurt their parents, so do men and women in relationships.

Love is one thing that no one wants to loose and as such, the work one does to preserve love may even be greater than the work required to earn it in the first place.

So, are you ready to love? Then be ready to work. But don't worry too much, love is both the work and the energy you need to do the work.

Love is meant to be a blessing not a burden of any kind. If for any reason love is becoming a burden,then it is no longer love but something else really.

Eleojo,abu wele?

Well,it is because of our anti-romance culture in Nigeria and wherever we are.

If all you have said here is true,then get her out of your house and life immediately.

Your husband does not love you. He only wants to keep you for his own reasons.

See,never allow anyone to exploit you until you are wrecked and too shattered to find love. He should not be allowed to have his cake and eat it.

Tell him that it is clear he doesn't love you and he is determined to ruin the marriage,so you want a divorce so that you can re-marry.

It is a matter of the heart,but use your head before you realize what is happening to you when it is too late.

No, I can't marry a single mother. Of course,I have dated a single mother before.

We can as well bear her maiden name together na,abi? Some things are too trivial and clear to be debated.

It is a complex one because the man is mad and the woman is foolish. She got court summons and still opened her legs?What will I not hear o.

I will divorce the woman-not my wife as I can't call such a person that. Of course,I will committedly and legitimately make her see the folly of such a deceit.

alutacontinua: I'm doing good.

Acclimatized back at work after your restful days?

stagger: Point of correction. She is not a public office holder, so the first sentence is based on a very wrong premise.

You are ignorant. I said the constitution of the Guild,not Nigeria. That organization has a constitution like many other associations and organizations.

Constitution is a body of rules or laws that govern a thing,a state,a people or an association. Yes,the concept of constitution in Naija transcends the 1999 constitution.

Escalze:

You no dey try o. The first time I saw that I laughed hard.

Time was went I thought outrageous make-up denotes a high inferiority complex. Yet I now appreciate the freedom we all have to do what make us feel good.

As for me,modest make-up is it. Just as I won't want to embarrass my babe with the 'cock' hairstyle,so will I not want to be embarrassed with outrageous 'looking good' paintings and extensions.

alutacontinua: lol, been busy jare
how are you?

I am doing fine. Thanks. How are you?

I love intelligence,but I like women who know who they are and are true to their convictions.

Love is actually not enough to keep a home,the capacity to selflessly manage each other in affection and patience assures a progressive marriage. A woman who has these as I do or who is willing to build them will be my choice.

Why is she so desperate?If this were about service she won't be insisting on staying on.

She is an ex-convict and their constitution is clear that she is barred from holding office. Yet she came in the wuruwuru way and fighting hard to stay on.

Something is wrong with most of us as Nigerians.

He is such a funny dreamer. The PDP will shock him soon enough when Mr Obanikoro is handed its ticket for Lagos state.

The news report says the EFCC is planning to declare him wanted. Is that not clear to the dull jubilants?