₦airaland Forum

Ok so i have some friends who are always like 'oh im in love with this guy' and then in two weeks its 'im in love with that guy' and im left scratching my head in confusion. I happen to think that except in very rare cases,its not possible for a teenager to fall in love. I think its a psychological thing-we just cant fall in love-true love. Love is,or at least should be,self-sacrificing. It should be about giving and putting the other person first. Most teens(i confess,even me sef join),are selfish-we want what we want when we want it,how we want it and where we want it. We think the world revolves around us. We can be really immature,and moody,and difficult,and for most of us,the gift of a patient and self-sacrificing spirit is one we are yet to receive. I think psychologically,we're just not programmed to have an emotion as intense as love just yet. And then there's the fact that we're still figuring out who we are. We are still figuring out our likes and dislikes,our weaknesses and strengths,and we are still discovering ourselves as individuals. Our personalities are still in a state of flux. And if i dont know who i am yet,then how the heck am i supposed to know and fall in love with with someone else? I put these points across to my friends and they were like i didnt know what i was saying and that it was because i havent experienced it before(which is true-i dont even date talkless of falling in love). What do you think? Do you think its possible for a teenager to actually fall in 'love'? P.s-By teenager i mean 13 to 16 year olds. 18 and above dont count.

Nope. Dont believe in all those visions from prophets and pastors either. Methinks God has a lot more important things to do than meddling in the love lives of puny humans.

otikpoko:
@poster,whats your religion?

christian-although i dont see what that has to do with anything.

1one:
(whispers some more more)
OH! Now I can remember,you were the one I saw walking on her head the other night coming out of ikoyi cemetry.
I know you are one of them

. . Could be. . *whispers some more to infinity(beat that!)* But what were yOU doing at/near Ikoyi cemetry in the middle of the night?

1one:
(whispering) I see dead people

*whispers some more* Walking around like regular people. They don't know they're dead. I see dead people,all the time.

stevetboy9:
OK, err, which section do you frequent the most?

Mostly romance buh when i get around to it ill be on the literature/writing section a lot too.

stevetboy9:
OP, you are the kind of girl I've always wanted to have as friend!(Intelligent, Looking for SURE rltnshp, Matured et al) Can we be ? Even if it means only text or pen or call mate~ I'm a May boy- 17 7/12. Hoping to get words from you soon!

sure. . We could be NL buddies. .

Chrisbenogor:
First off, OP my guess is that you are not really in a serious relationship so you might not understand. The problem here is your sister and not the guy, she needs to realise that she has got self worth and at the same time like it or not she has not got the experience, if I were you I would not be too worried because she would learn someday but that is life for you, it gives you a test first then teaches you the lesson afterwards. Just encourage her the best you can, she has to work on being matured and carrying herself. You cannot force it into her it comes with time. Even you should watch out for when your time comes  

You're right-im not in a serious r/ship so maybe there are some dynamics to theirs that i dont really understand yet. Its just,what i do see scares me. As for me,jhor oh. . Me i dont want that kind of 'experience'. . Id rather learn from other's mistakes than experience it myself.

iceblue:
@ atreides nice come back. And u're a lot more mature than some of the NL peeps here (I like that u answered the post without insulting him/her). I like u already

thanks! I can be real sarcastic at times but im working on that so i resisted the temptation to be insultive in that reply. .

iceblue:
@OP
All those people looking at you weird when u say u have no bf secretly wish they could be like you. And if they don't, they should. Ask the girls if having a bf has made them smarter or increased their grades, or made them better humans.
You're doing fine honey. Aint nothing strange about not being interested in having a bf. All the nay-sayers in here waiting for your downfall are just miserable. And u know what they say - misery loves company. Don't give em the satisfaction.

Yeah i noticed that-a lot of people were sounding really negative,like it would be impossible for me to go on without meeting some guy that would de-virginize(gawd i always wanted to say that. . Lol) me. Youre verra right-misery does love company. And the part about them secretly wishing they were me was apt-nd i didnt really look at it that way until you mentioned it. Thanks. . .

Deep Soul:
Atreides,

For a 16 7/12 yr old, you speak really well. I'm impressed and must commend your excellent use of English. Minus the English sef, you sound quite balanced.
Please darling, do not in anyway bothered by the so-called pressure to be a "pair". If you succumb, it'll only get worse. The next thing they'll be wondering is why you'd have a boyfriend and not have segz. And after you give in to that, something else will come up.

Even when you become an adult, it doesn't stop. There'll always be people wondering why you re single, why you arent married, why you arent having segz bla bla (personally and currently being xperienced by me).

I know this may sound cliche and "old-maidish" but concentrate on your books and save yourself for marriage.
If you do meet a boy you like, nothng stops you from being friends. Just ensure that appropriate lines are drawn. Good luck darl 

[s]_{By d way, I have a 17 7/12 brother. . .you might even be birthday mates. . .}[/s] 

Awwww. . Thanks! As for the english bit,na too much novel cause am. As for the being balanced bit,i have great parents. Sure,they irritate me on a regular basis,but they're doing their job,and God bless them for that. And you dont sound old maidish-you sound like me. Im the classic 'good girl'. I'm a straight 'A' student. I'm the class captain,debate queen student.I dont drink(except occasionally),i dont smoke pot,i dont sneak out and go clubbing(not only is that dangerous,the fact that i cant dance even to save my life kinda defeats the purpose). I read my books and pass my exams and get along with my parents. Im the quintessential good girl,and sometimes it just feels like my life could do with a little more excitement. P.s-Is your bro a May baby?

tashanja:
Poster is sounding too articulate and matured for a sixteen year old.
Me is wondering if she is not pulling our legs by starting this thread - just my thoughts

Not every 16+ year old is a brainless  incapable of stringing together two grammatically correct sentences. Some of us love to read. A LOT. And if you truly love to read,then writing's a piece of cake. And if you're a good reader and a good writer,chances are,your spoken english will be pretty good too. You're not the first to say i sound more mature than my age. I think the level of mediocrity in Nigeria,and in the Nigerian education system is what makes it so hard for people to believe that an average(ok who are we kidding? Im not average in any way,shape or form. . Lol) 16+ year old can sound so articulate. I think that's real sad-the fact that we're so used to mediocrity that when something different(better) comes up we find it hard to believe. Real sad. I suppose i could dumb down my posts ,but that seems rather counter-productive,dont ya think?

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=574355.msg7405138#msg7405138 date=1293240346]Oh lawd, another teenager![/quote]hehehe. .

My aversion to shopping. People think oh she's a girl and she's gotta love shopping,but i dont. I shop with an almost military precision-make my list,walk in,buy what i wanna buy,walk out. I can never be like those girls who spend hours shoppin as if dem must price everything in the market and at the end of the day when they get home they begin putting rubb on the blisters on their feet. Kai. . Tufiakwa. .

@Donmeca, "A 16 year old coming out to say she wants to go into a r/ship according to this post  is really weird."
Yes,im young. I NEVER said i wanted to go into a r/ship,i said i was a bit confused as to whether going into one was such a bad idea. And me saying being single at my age is abnormal isnt wierd-its a fact. If you knew teenagers,you'd know a LOT of them are paired up.
" I can't get that u just want go into a r/ship cos u're 16".
I never said i wanted to go into a relationship BECAUSE im 16. That would be beyond dumb.
"and your plans include getting a bf at 16?"
Its NOT a definite plan-im just wondering.

jfking2005:
@Atreides
kindly give me your pin number i have all that you need to know.
Jfking2005@gmail

my daddy said i shouldnt talk to(and IM,and ping,and buzz) strangers. .

@1one-she's the older sister,not me. If i was older then sitting her down and whupping some sense into her ass wouldnt be this hard. Besies he's not all bad. Yeah he has a LOT of female friends but he hasnt cheated on her-thas a plus,innit?

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=573536.msg7401899#msg7401899 date=1293197536]Do you want to get marry now? Or you want to go to college and be all that you can be?[/quote]MARRRY KE? Hell nah. . I have plans for my future!

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=573536.msg7400102#msg7400102 date=1293174766]Early teens and late teens still TEENS    You don't go into x-rated section?  (moving to the side and looking toward the sky)[/quote]I'm serious. . I really dont go into the x-rated sections. .  . . Did you know that in some cultures in Naija im old enough to get married? Some of my Northern age-mates are already giving birth in their husbands' houses. Being in my late teens isnt that young. @Thiscounts,wooww brutha-you just told me WHAT counts! Thnx much. .

Why do Naija High school girls like to open door and throway key for any Chike that comes along spouting tales of undying love and affection? I'm in my teens and it pisses me off when i see things like this,about how guys are sooo bad for sha.gging a teenager. My own is verry simple-If it was not rap.e then the girl is just as guilty as the guy. Shikena.

[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=573536.msg7398964#msg7398964 date=1293147287]Apparently not. I forgot what site I was on. Who else have their children registered on Nairaland?[/quote]I'm not a child,i'm in my late teens. And judging from what ive seen,im a lot more sensible than some Nl users. Besides,i dont go into the x-rated sections of Nl.

@flexshop,im not dating anyone. But if i was and she had some issues with him she'd def trash it out-although we have to remember that she's older than i am so that's a factor. I like to think that how your family views the person youre with is verry important because they know you and because they're not blinded by emotions they'll be able to look at the r/ship objectively,see things as they truly are and determine whether you and whoever it is ure with can work out.

@livedit. . Woww. .Youre making madd sense.[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=573536.msg7397918#msg7397918 date=1293134608]WAIT A MINUTE,

You can be a teen registered ON AN ADULT SITE?!!! Let me holla at a few people. Be right back.[/quote]what difference does it make? There is no age requirement when signing up for Nl and even if there was id only lie and say i was older.

violent:
already?

you don't even know her, you Arrow!

hehe. . It was love at first post. . Such things are funny.

Madukaele:
Bro tel am o. al dis 16yrs old think is easy. wait til u enter uni or u clock 21 den u talk i hear

i never said i thought it would be easy. In fact,i think it will be VeRy hard.

yuzedo:
Buh u do sound like a smart young girl, evident by your thought pattern and communication abilities

. . Thanks. . And relationships are certainly startin to feel like a do or die affair. . If you're not in one people look at you like you're not normal or sumn.

[quote author=!!Mr Cork link=topic=572446.msg7396295#msg7396295 date=1293115146]kids? Hell Nooo. they run around like rabbits [/quote]ohh?[quote author=Mrs, Eve link=topic=572446.msg7396364#msg7396364 date=1293115736]No, he is barren.[/quote]ohhhhhh. . I see. .@Oga Cork,my bad. . This must be a rather sensitive issue for u. .Sorry to have brought it up.

[quote author=Missy ★ B link=topic=572082.msg7396835#msg7396835 date=1293120440]Obviously, I still laughed when I read it now. I remember now- Ese. Lol.
''Ewè no l'obvan rè''  You've been scarce kinda. . . . .Back to stay?  [/quote]yupp. . I have nuthin better to do anyway

[quote author=Missy ★ B link=topic=572082.msg7396723#msg7396723 date=1293119053]Lmao!
I kinda remember sum'n' . . . can't remember the ID precisely, though. Want to remind me?
What's up babez?[/quote]hehe. . I thought you'd remember it-it cracked you up madly at the time. . Oh and Atreides wasnt my username then-it was Ese something. . And then i went on hiatus,and now its Atreides! I am verra good. . Real nice to see yall are still here. . The maedan,iice,bluespice generation lives on!!!

rokiatu:
Good thing he's not your bf. Learn to deal with it. I'm pretty sure your sister is not 10yr she knows what she's doing.

that was exactly my reasoning-he's not my bf so its not my cup of tea. But our mutual friend made me start feeling guilty. She talked about what could happen if they got more serious and the guy didnt change,how he could ruin her self-worth and destroy her life,and how if that happened her blood would be on my hands(dramatic,anyone?). And i do deal with him-sure he's not my fav person in the world to hang out with but when i'm in a situation i cant escape im always civil.