grasiouso:
Hello fam, please I need sincere advise on this issue. I created this account for this purpose so I can remain anonymous and get as much advise as I can.

I will give as much details as necessary for better understanding and to have a balanced view. My husband complains that I do things in isolation which has been the major cause of our quarrels. To be honest, the things he has complained about are usually things I do in good faith. For example, some weeks ago I came across a post on Nairaland that talked about the difficulties private school teachers are currently going through due to the covid 19 pandemic. While reading that post, I remembered a teacher living in our neighbourhood and immediately I felt like rendering a little help, so I sent her 5k (I have her account number from a transaction I did with her sometime back). I did this anonymously cos I didn't want her to know it came from me and till today even though she sees me often she has never talked about it which makes me believe she doesn't know it came from me. I later told my husband what I did expecting he would commend me but got the exact opposite. He flared up that I should have informed him before doing so. Note that we both work and have earnings. I did this from my 'personal purse' per se and not the family purse.
I have no problem informing him but he was not around at the time and I did what I did out of impulse to help someone. We really had a big quarrel and he did not fail remind me how he made a mistake with the marriage and we should go our separate way. That I am not submissive. Somehow I apologized and we managed to settle it.

Another incident: there is a virtual prayer group I belong to where we pray every morning mostly for families. People from different parts of the world join in this prayer. My husband sometimes joins but not consistent. This morning after the prayer, I sent the pastor a private message to remember my family in prayers especially for success in an exam my husband is about to write. I told my husband about this, and he flared up again. Then another round of talk of not being submissive and not obeying my husband. Please note that I'm not one of those who run after pastors and churches. I only joined this prayer group cos I connected with the way the pastor prays for families even though he doesn't know most of us and we don't know him personally.


These are just two out of the numerous issues. To be honest, I have made efforts to improve to please him and make our marriage work. I see these as petty issues and not something that should mean I am not being submissive or doing things in isolation. We talk about virtually everything we do but sometimes some things just come up that I react to immediately but always tell him about it.

As it is now, we may eventually go our separate way cos the constant reminder of him making a mistake to marry me because of my being un-submissive is making me lose interest in the marriage and killing the love I have for him. I just want to seek advise so it doesn't look like I did not make effort to make the marriage work.

Am I entirely wrong with my actions. Are the issues mentioned above not things that can be overlooked even after apologising. Should they warrant threats of divorce(which I don't have issues with anyway so everyone can have their peace)?

paulolee:
get well soon if its true because i dont just believe anything concerning police again after they arrested me last month and held me in thier pickup for hours until i paid a fine of 2k saying that i was caught floating the covid rules, that i was caught in a crowd without social distancing and i wasn't wearing nose mask that they too that arrested me wasn't wearing...
me wey jus de return from watching man.city vs chelsea match, that 2k really pain me because city even tear my ticket dt same nite, i swear i no fit sleep that night..

Nooil:


I don't understand the bolded. Is it that she was destined to be "short-lived" but that could change with serious prayers, which you didn't do on her behalf

Or

Short-lived meaning whether she prayed or not, she will still die.

Did you advise her to pray for her long life when you got this revelation or you just zoomed off?

Wetlink:


I am still searching for the moral of this your story.

So they told you that she won't live long If serious prayers wasn't made for her.
What stopped you from following through and making the prayers on her behalf man of god?
Instead you zoomed off to the next person and now that she is dead, you are here feeling yourself and probably rejoicing that you made the right decision.

Hope you know life isn't guaranteed and you too could drop dead anytime...

Abeg if anyone understood the moral of this pathetic story, the person should tell me

TunezMediaTV:
Nigerian reality star and former vixen, Venita Akpofure gladly flaunting her hot curves in a recent shots shared on her social space from a beach shoot in Venezuela.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCVWVRRnS9j/?igshid=1wdd6ycyux8hn

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright
Be a real niggarrr op
Abroad anyday anytime twice on Monday
Leave am as you take fence am. Sell every other property

Go do your master son and make us proud...
Ogbeni i nor say make you nor marry o. ...but balance first with your master and better huzzle before you run am
Me personally ehnnnnn...I nor go marry... marriage and unionism na scam... baby mama sure me die


Building a house nor be child's play except you just want build a low budget asss building.....even the low budget asss go still fuckkk you up
By the time you realize say bag of cement, three quarter granite, steel rod, wood work, aluminium be it metcopo or step tiles are not childs play then it will be too late

That shit is not funny.....I don first try am before....when i see small small boys dey build mansion for Benin city...
I come say make i run am..... immediately after foundation na im i realize wetin i put my hand into....

kingeze88:

I Paid a Surprise Visit to My Daughter in School, But What I saw In Her Room Broke Me


We just moved down from River State to Lagos because my husband was transferred over to Lagos by his Boss to handle the branch in Lagos State. My husband said he would love to go with us because we were living in a rented apartment in River state, and he also wanted us to have a taste of the life in Lagos. However, I also wanted to protect my children from other children that could corrupt them in Lagos.



We sent them to a private school in Lagos and also ensured that we kept watch of the type of friends they kept. I had two children, a boy and a girl. The girl was the oldest, and she was just 14 when we moved to Lagos. She was one of the most intelligent students in her class, and she always won a lot of prices in school, I was so proud of her. My son on the other hand was struggling to have good grades, but I believed he was going to get better with his books because he was still very young.

3 years later my family had already acclimatized to the life in Lagos, and my daughter just gained admission to one of the most prestigious institutions in Lagos. I trusted her so much and was so sure that she was going to come out with distinctions from the University. Coupled with the fact that she was cool headed and religious, I believed I had nothing to fear.

She left for school and we kept in touch through calls and messages. We also chatted online from time to time, and I was aware about everything that was happening there in her school because I was her mother. Then she stopped replying my messages early, and always said she would call me back anytime I called. The only time she calls is when she needed money to buy some things in school. I talked to her about it and she said it was because she was so occupied with school activities.

This went on for some months and I knew she was stressing herself out. So, I and my husband bought a lot of food stuffs and beverages for her. I wanted to inform her about our impending visit, but my husband told me to make our visit a surprise, so I agreed. We left on Sunday after church by 3pm because the journey to her school wasn’t up to 2 hours and that is if there would be hold up. We got there late because of the hold up. We moved straight to the hostel where she stayed and walked down to her room.

When we got to the front of her door, we saw lots of girls’ slippers at the front of the room, but we didn’t think much of it because she had roommates. We pushed the door and what we saw shocked us. Our 17-year-old daughter was in bed with another girl both unclad, I was dumbfounded, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I fell down and started crying uncontrollably and my husband just stood there in shock, I thought to myself “How did this happen, what got into our daughter, she was very calm and religious, why then did she do this”.

My daughter just looked at me and said she loved her girlfriend so much and didn’t care about what anyone thinks. My husband asked about the other girls in the room and she said they left so that she could have an alone time with her girlfriend, I was broken.

How did something like this happen in a school’s hostel with the knowledge of the other girls in the room, I was so confused.

lawrence1998:


You're very funny. If truly you knew me from 411info then I wonder what you're saying. Argumentative keh? Did you know what I did for 411info? I never had any issues there.
Still I haven't worked for 4 years though.

Till now. Me and 411info boss still talk. We've never had a quarrel, never had an issue, infact he called me yesterday and we were playing like friends. Person that senior me by far fa. 411info was one of my best. I built their website for FREE. Yes, that's how close we became so I'm wondering who's talking. Send me a DM to my number. No one in 411info had an issue with me, I still speak with all of them, plus the workers

DeAlphaMale:

This is a gamble and u know it... U dump ur poor ugly boyfriend for a richer Man.. the man dumps u for a better looking lady just then ur poor ugly ex-boyfriend starts to make it life and then ur left with nothing but ur pathetic self

Onyi22:
Regina Daniel is a Bea, she dumps her ex boyfriend and got married to a Multi billionaire, that's exactly what a wise lady would do..
Dump him!! I repeat, dump his useless ugly broke ass when u see a richer guy/man than him..
Don't be deceive that "things will get better" he's a bloody lier.
Don't die before ur death with a miserable, frustrated guy that has refused to make money.
Finally my sister, Marry money because Love na scam..

bayo2018:
Good day nairalanders

Please I’ve an issue bothering me rn. I’m thinking of terminating my School though I’m in year 2(1st semester)

I noticed I’m able to make more than 300k a month online these covid season but if I’m in school I don’t make up to this amount because I don’t have enough time to stay online and do things I wanna do.pls kindly inbox me i get something to dicuss with u

But I don’t wanna make a decision that’s gonna affect me forever so I’m seeking for your honest opinion.

Should I just terminate this school and focus more on my online Business.

What my online business just require of me is Data(like 50gb per month )and to always be online to run the stuff.

phal:
Car gurus in the house please kindly help me suggest which car would fit my budget,
I am actually planning to buy my first car as my family is growing big and moving from point A to B is becoming stressful for us, hence I decided to get a very good & sharp Nigerian used car with a budget of 500K max.

I want a car that is very durable, reliable, fuel efficient, cheap and accessible parts, meanwhile I don't want Toyota or Honda as they are too common on Nigerian roads & I also believe they re not the only best car options we can get. Though I am looking at Nissan Almera 2001, Nissan primera 2000 to 2002, VW Golf 3 and Mazda cars from 1999 to 2002 models.

Please kindly help me as I need your car expertise to decide which car to go for ASAP.

Thanking you in advance

Thanking

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Genesils:


I'll add you up now

chinavs9ja:
Hello, dear nairalanders! We all know how difficult it is to learn programming and how frustrating it is to develop web and app software. Let us discuss this, as a programmer what is your minimum earnings that can equate the stress and frustration?

APOPTOSIS:

Well articulated too.
But she may not be the problem as you purported.
The guy may be afraid or not ready too.

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.