fineboynl:
I have this girl to come to my house is a big problem. reason that she knows I don't give money. she has numerous guys who she would preferred to met up than me because is either they are paying or they are telling her love which I'm not doing.

she knows I'm fine boy and girls are chasing me. and nor be fine she has wan Chop. those kind talk and things. she like me well to be her serous boyfriend as she once ask me during sex to be her best friend but of which I declined. she knows all I wanted was fun.

the stands is that I don't want a serious relationship with her and am not a guy that give money. so she told me plain bank that she will only come to my house when she want to and not me telling her..

but during this lockdown she want to come to my house like everyday and when she comes she doesn't want to go.

she want continues sex none stop. marathons none stop. I'm not a guy that kill my self over sex.

once I give her one hot rounds that lasted up to an hour. i'm exhausted and would need to rest. but she would want to continued again. she start to confused to me I'm the best and how she is missing me.

the truth is I have never really explored this girl before now. not until this lockdown. so many things have been uncovered things we haven't done before.

she now respect me unlike before. if I called her she now talk to me calmly. unlike before when she raise voice at me. if I told her to come at once she is already here.

she doesn't ask for money or expect any money from me other than my dick. its only now that I know she like sex like mad. not the money face she has been wearing on me. it seems I have cured her madness.

with the current state of things even if this girl married to someone she would sneaks out to me.



there is one sex position that makes her mad, screaming and talking rubbish, and that position I don't enjoy it or feel anything. so to my advantage's I let her have it and its makes me lasted forever without cuming. I cum when I want to when she is tired by changing position. this is why she is now madly want me like craze. she talk dirty and suck my mouth like she want to swallow me. baby you are sweet. baby you are the best.
baby press my ass is all yours. all this she doesn't do before. is it because of the bored from lockdown? or all guys have distanced her? or she really never discovered whom i'm until now?

sometimes I Wonder why we guys think we enjoy sex more than girls.

Greensquard:
Met this dude once in dubai and i chook am yarn like joke,i remember telling him bros u don turn celeb o do easy make u no draw unnecessary heat come our side wey want to be like u when we grow up sha..i think say the mumu go code say i dey tell am make him calm down but still e no hear,see am now..u can only last in this game when u stay cool headed and eat codedly..sometimes i wonder how God helps some of us to still be sane cos the truth is that e get some kind money wey u go touch and u go just MAD naturally come begin believe say u be mini god and untouchables thus showing urself anyhow..Anyway guys make this money o but at the same time be wise,its all about the greens fam.

BERNIMOORE:
quote where he repented here please

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.are u married at all...



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

Inspectorsuga22:

U are waiting to make ur unborn baby ur next of kin? Ur marriage is barely a year n u have already started hiding things from a man u claim to love n have joined to become one? May God save men from Jezebels like u who only reason to get married is to impress people with the tag of MRS. From ur write up, u clearly don't love that man n clearly also doesn't know the meaning of marriage. U think coming here to tell us how u rearranged ur sitting room or watever is going to buy u cheap sympathy? Well maybe from people of ur kind. My wife works n I work, she informs me the moment she receives her salary n I do same, next is we make financial decisions together as couple that working towards a brighter future. U can't share ur financial details n dat shows how much of a supportive wife u have bn to the unfortunate man. How can the two of u make ur lives better wen u can't even put ur heads together n plan on project that will benefit u n ur unborn children wen u feel ur own money should be spent the way u want it...
U are not a real woman

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

skimena:
There's this young beautiful girl that is my friend. she's just 19. she's indeed an epitome of black beauty. we are very close. there's nothing about myself I don't tell her. infact we confide in each other. but I like that thing that's under her legs. I just want to have a bite of it and she's aware I'm in a relationship. I've used all my antics such as buying her things but it's not just working out. so I told her to name her prize but she didn't say anything so I offered to give her #1 million either in cash or by cheque just to enter that punana island. She said no that she's not ready to start having sex now. I think she's not wise.

kingxsamz:


This is an ancient and archaic way of reasoning.
Because she's a lady, she should give in to useless beliefs?
Most ladies who don't believe in any god are usually intelligent.
You must think we're in the 1960's.
This is 2020 my brother.

Born2Freak:
Did god not create all living things?

If God created all living things, the he created the virus.

Viruses have existed since the first humans roamed the earth.

All these pastors that have no idea about science and philosophy....


The simple truth is that there is no God. This is man vs nature.

Positivechick:
I broke up with my boyfriend today,

I met him while I was serving, he was nice and the only friend I had, I served in a village. While we were serving he doesn’t give me much, I practically kinda fed him cause he was always in my place. He had a roommate and I didn’t. Before he gives me any money we always had issues, not like he doesn’t hv to give. He just doesn’t want to. I don’t even ask for much.

After service we continued dating, he had no job so I told him to get a teaching job he said never ever, he rather follow he’s friends up and down , I kept quite watching what his plans maybe, I hv never asked him for a dim since we finished service mid last year, got a teaching job so taking care of myself.

My birthday would be coming up, his just passed, I told him that I would be expecting some cash on my birthday. We talked today and he’s telling me he spent all he’s money for he’s birthday, that if money comes he will send but right now he has no money, placing me on the probability table, so I said u couldn’t keep the one u would send me, he said people were buying drinks and buying drinks and he couldn’t tell them to stop. Am like are u serious ? I had to remind him that my birthday is few days away and he started saying he won’t be able to send anything. I told him without him doing the needful that there is no us.

Am tired, he has no vision, No focus , no aim , he depends on his friends and it's annoying. I think about he’s future more than he does , he’s always in the present. He’s making me feel like a bad person that he would make it. I hope he makes it but the relationship is so draining and I am 100% faithful to someone with no sense of reasoning. He’s Saying I am dating someone that’s why I want to leave him. He isn’t even addressing the issue we hv on ground .

Thoughts??

thymm:


Same thing I experienced. We abstained until marriage, 9 months and 2 weeks later we welcomed our son.

KosiGee:



Did you read the post and the concerns he raised?
What pregnancy are you talking about? Must everything be all about pregnancy?

A man is lamenting on the relationship issues he is having with a lady he is supposed to wed in three weeks and you are talking about getting your wife pregnant 3 weeks post wedding!! Your head correct so

Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

Donbabaj:
I could be happy now but the next minute, she changes mood all of a sudden. We dated for over year after someone match make us but this mood swing things continued overtime so sometimes I get confused even as i really tried managing the pressure. She's a nice girl, takes good care of me, buys clothes, cooks, always wants me to look good but the problem is the rate which she switches mood easily.

Financially, we are both average earner but I think she earns better pay than me.

For instance, recently we got a new apartment - 2bedroom flat but whenever I say something she doesn't like or she doesn't want to hear, she just reacts like why would I say such a thing. All the while we were dating, we never stayed with each other as we stayed in our parents house. Fast forward* most times, as the man, after switching mood, I try to pacify her by petting and apologising but she doesn't just want to listen.

Just today, we were playing with each other on the bed, touching each other (not sensitive part) and she wanted me to kiss her. So I told her jokingly that "but you know this is not biblical" as an advocate of no sex until after marriage. I have never had sex with her either. The next thing she said, "why are you talking like this" she stood up, went straight to the sitting room and slept there. I went to meet her there to pacify her again but she wouldn't listen.

Please note that I have not and can never beat or abuse her cos I'm a Christian.

I'm just tired. She's really getting on my nerves. Our wedding is 3 weeks time but I dont just know what to do. People, friends and family are already aware of the impending marriage but I'm afraid that if a lady can switch mood like this, who knows what will happen tommorrow. I cant sleep in peace...

Please advice. This is happening right now.

fulaniHERDSman:
Good part is that you were lucky to have been opportuned to work with them at all. Not everyone that wished to was given the chance.
Maybe you are like an orange that needed some good squeezing to produce juice. Probably you would have been unproductive if pampered.
I owe everybody that I encountered while on my way up the ladder.
Bad guys made me work harder while the good guys held the light.
Be grateful to God for everything.
People who keep looking back always fall flat. Ask Blackface.

Honesty001:
This is the story of my marital life.I need your advice nairalanders. please no insults.

I married at the age of 23 ,that was immediately I finished nysc.I met my hubby while preparing for law school.He toasted me for a period of two years. I actually refused to date him because I felt he was short, not from a rich home,had an accent, and not really my class. Nevertheless I was sill in constant communication with him.I was very free with him which I regret. During that period he came to Lagos took me out we made out and he was so happy I had agreed. when he went back to his place of work(Anambra) I did not feel happy.I told him I wasn't interested in the relationship.He called my cousin to talk to me .I insulted him and told him I do not love him as he is irritating me,even with all the insult he kept toasting me.

He was very sure I was his wife.He said God showed him in his dream. He told us to fast together so that God can reveal it too me since I wasn't sure.I fasted but nothing was revealed.I followed my sister to a church ,the pastor of the church told me that if I married that suitor coming for me I will regret it. I told him what the pastor said and he started crying begging my sister that he will forever love me.


I told him that if in the next 6months we still communicate that means we are meant to be together. During this period I dated someone else and I was not in communicado with him. Suddenly I felt an urge to call him,even though I did not know that month was the 6 month.I called him and that is how we renewed our communication. He told me too choose between the guy I was dating and him.I choose him and broke up with the guy because I felt the guy was not ready for marriage for the next 5 years, while I was as he was still hustling. I agreed to date him and marry him on the condition that he will not use how I treated him and refused him to judge me. My ex and a male friend a toaster from nysc called me and I warned them to stop calling me.He picked up the call and told them to stop calling.Anyways My father wasn't happy because he felt he was from a poor home,but I didn't care again because I felt he had potentials and that he loved me dearly since he fought for me. He and my mum were close. We did introduction.During nysc I was not allowed to go for any event.He always wanted to know where I was every minute.If I didn't pick my call the series of explanation will be much. Even to attend my pastor's birthday was a problem.I had too beg but it all fell on deaf ears.He will cry when he is upset with me and he will start cursing and swearing for himself.i will beg .My roommate witnessed all these and told me that he was controlling me too much .When I had a quarell with him I told him what she said even though I did not mention her name. Before that I used to gossip about my roommate and neighbours with him.I was so naive,I told him about my past relationships,even about my toasters.I trusted him so much.I thought I was confinding in my best friend.Anyways he made me delete her number and disassociate myself from her after a 3 days quarell.He came down to my place of service and He made me swear with my womb that I never chatted with her after blocking her on WhatsApp.I refused to swear as it is against my principles.I walked out and he dragged me back to the room.

Fastfoward to post marriage he judges me with the past.Talks about how I treated him badly.He doesn't trust me at all.He says I cheated on him by dating the other guy.He dosent like seeing me talk with guys or someone he dosent know.Meanwhile he has a lot of friends I don't know o.He flushed my sim inside toilet and made me change my line and leave Facebook and WhatsApp. He made me leave nairaland too after he saw the p.ms .I don't have any friends.I have no one to confide in. Anytime I talk and he dosent like my point of view he will shout at me and shut me up like I am a dullard,when we are watching news or movie.He hardly apologises or commends me .He is quick to criticize.When he is angry he will refuse to eat my food and I will beg.Even when I am wrong I will beg.He never accepts that he is wrong.I always beg and cry.

when I was pregnant,I was down with malaria a lot of times and couldn't do any chore.He took me for deliverance and acted as if I brought the sickness upon myself.when I tell him how I feel he turns it around and puts the blame on me. He is good with words and manipulative, to the extent I use to think I need a checkup on my brain cos he makes it seem I am forgetful.

The good thing about him is that he is not a womanizer.He provides and works hard for the family.We do not lack any food.

Anything he says I must do it,if I don't do it due to forgetfullness he will say I forgot because I don't respect him and value his words.He is always frowning,even when he comes back from work.He hardly laughs.I am a stay at home mum. I do not have a job yet though I am searching as there are no law firms here as this is a village. I cannot even play with him or confide in him he won't even answer me.If I ask a question he will say why am I asking or ignore me.He says I don't respect him.I do everything in my power to make him feel like the head of the house to my emotional detriment. when I opened up to him that I wanted him to be more caring and loving ,at least to ask how my day was or commend me when taking care of our two kids or even say I look beautiful.He did not accept he was wrong. he kept me malice for almost 3 months giving me silent treatment and I kept to myself.During that period i told him I wanted a seperation as he always threatened me with a divorce.We decided to stay for the kids.when we tried to talk and settle .He slapped me and used a belt on me telling me not to talk while he is talking.He dosent respect me. please ladies before you get married have a good job or a means of livelihood.Even though he sponsored my masters in law .He dosent pray again as he says I made his spiritual life to deplete.He belongs to charismatic.

I am scared of making friends as I feel he may not like it.I am lonely.only my kids keep me company. I have low self esteem.If you see me you won't believe I have masters in law. look soD timid.Do you know he shouts at me in public,in church.

Note-I am very gentle,friendly and free spirited.I play a lot and I like laughing and gisting.He provides food and loves his children so much,he sponsored my masters.He buys me cloths and makes sure I don't lack.He works very hard. If I decide to leave now I have 0 naira in my account.He said he will take the kids.I will be left empty .mature Nairalanders what is your opinion?

Abbeylanre15:
I work in finance company and I'm in charge of all accounts. All monies are been remitted to me. The M.D of this organization is such a generous but uneducated woman. My colleagues are leveraging on this to siphon organization's funds to their various pockets. I'm not oblivious of this fact because I'm so sensitive to things around me,but I am d God fearing type that won't participate in such a dirty act.
I've called majority of those in this illicit act privately to warn them and let them know the implications. But to my utmost surprise, the bull-shit keep getting high and d MD is not the type to tell such hidden things, she will reveal the identity of her Intel.
The problem now is that,if this act persist,the company may go bankrupt sooner than later. Even though,the job is not worth dying for,half bread they said it's better than none. I can't afford to be jobless.
Please advise me on what to do?


NB: I'VE SUBMITTED APPLICATION TO OTHER COMPANIES BUT NO RESULT YET.

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.
I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.
When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams,my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.
My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now
Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2million to start a business etc.
Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.
Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it
My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.
So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. Its a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also hes the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and thats because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship


7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

BobbyHammar:


Abeg forget that thing. If all of them are collecting my destiny shey I am suppose to have been very useless or dead by now because they would have finished everything about destiny.

ademidedavid:

Shes a church person and going to church isn't a criteria because most church goers are pretenders.....Judas was with Jesus for years and despite that he sold our Lord Jesus Christ....

ademidedavid:
It's no longer a story that pastors divorce their partners, imams divorce their partners, highly educated people do same and even the so called marriage counsellors are not left out in the order of the day and it has always been a thing of worry for me with the thought that they never loved each other before marriage but getting married has changed my thinking and has made me realised that marriage only takes the grace of God to work out.

I have been married for 3 years with 1 beautiful daughter with a loving wife (maybe before and some years into the marriage). I have always believed that I cannever raise my hand on my woman since my father never did such but I find it hard to believe I did the unimaginable today although It wasn't intentional.

It was due to annoyance after she asked me to stop sitting at home and go work for more money like other men even though I am a federal worker with above 100k monthly income and still do personal work as a civil engineer apart from the federal job despite the lockdown.....

It really got me aggravated because I have been the one fending for the family and the kid for the past 3 years and never asked for a kobo from her.....

Although I have noticed the urge for very flamboyant life style in her lately and has even asked me to get more money at any means, that money is everything in this life even though I have tried telling her its a gradual process, she still doesn't listen and even asked me to raise money for her to travel out of Nigeria.

I have never thought of raising my hands on any woman let alone my wife.....

Please how do I change her sudden mentality towards this sudden extravagant life style because I pray it doesn't lead to something else since I can't do illegal things to acquire the type of wealth she dreams of?