₦airaland Forum

oodua1stson:
1st off, I did not curse you. I asked if you want to soribu when you said all the elders in your family are daft. You can't be rude to me and expect me to be nice to you. Besides, I did not quote you or mention you so koshi danu

Oh, come on bruv.

ubunja:
can't he learn from Davido?? Wtf?? But Davido is a simp dating a prostitute. SMH. you guys though.... What the hell is wrong with you?

Major simp, I tell you.

Magnoliaa:
Lmao. But when a lady said, 'all men are rapists until proven otherwise,' you'll start tearing your shirts and scratching walls. Ok.

You'll employ an argument stance when it suits you. But discard when it's the other party using it.

I can argue same for men's behaviour. I know not all men are the same, but I'll be highly wary and suspicious when one random one approaches me. I can't help it.

I actually live my life with that generalization in mind. I’m uncomfortable being alone in an enclosed space with a woman I don’t know well enough. It’s a matter of survival for me. I don’t want to be a victim of false accusations. And if a woman takes precautions because of my gender, I take no exception to such actions. Better safe than sorry biko.

I don’t feel entitled to someone else’s benefit of doubt. Na benefit no be right

sisisioge:
:-

Don’t worry. I promise never to abandon you, ever

Magnoliaa:
Stop typing crap. Y'all just be look for opportunities to take a swipe. Create issues where there's none.

When have you ever seen the mentioned girl(s) talk about gender equality? When?

Oya no vex. Happy weekend

If you cannot take me serious when I’m broke, I cannot take you serious when I hammer. Fair weather friends deserve no love

eyinjuege:
What his reservations/reasons are means nothing in this case. Its irrelevant. Highly irrelevant.
I don't care about that, and neither do the needs of that boy. Even the law cannot be sympathetic towards the man.
The needs of that boy supersedes any reason of coulda, woulda, shoulda...
We're talking of a primary need of shelter here. It should be provided by the parent, the mother in this case. We're only being polite by "asking for permission" from the husband.
The child should be with his mother, who is his legal guardian. Other things are secondary.
This is not an 18 year old boy you can chase out of your house that he's old enough to start earning and looking after himself.
That child should never be homeless. Remember there is no other parent to push him to.
What OP is doing is actually child neglect, going towards abuse of that child is not housed immediately
If the husband wants to move out because of this, then let him do so. She never hid her background from him, and yet he chose to marry her. What did he think would happen to her children? They will magically disappear or she should kill them?
Please, let's be realistic, practical and not sentimental here.
Imagine someone telling me it's sentimental to neglect your child and allow him homeless. Is it madness ni?

On the original thread, I mentioned how it was silly if the man to renege on his promise. I wouldn’t advise marrying a single mother but, having made the choice, she must be accepted with all she comes with. The boy must be brought to live with his mum.

However, the man’s reservations aren’t without merit. He has genuine fears, and it’s my opinion that his wife has to assuage them.

What I expect her to do is devise a means to reintroduce the boy into their home with as little friction as possible with her husband. If she’s going to do it disregarding her husband’s fears, then good luck to her. Obviously, it’s not impossible to raise four children on her own, but she won’t have to if she has the wisdom to manage conflict well.

sisisioge:
Chai! Men are scum! Why was he shouting when he wasn't even married to her but married to someone else! Anyways, I believe her because in the first video, she didn't act like a caught wife.


So shouldn't she sue the guy as well as his unfortunate siblings? Awon wereys oshi!

Why does she still live in his house? If she has moved on then she should move on fully. Issa simpu sturvs

eyinjuege:
Honestly, my heart breaks with the way many Nigerians see things.
I know the deep root of this is because its the woman's child, and they would rather the child suffers for it too.
If this child were the husband's child, they would have started calling the wife all names for not allowing the boy come to live with the father.
They wouldn't just label the boy a thief who will rape his sisters (they probably raped their own sisters)
The advice would be to divorce the wife and he should take blood over spouse.
I hope the OP is able to realise it's her blood we are talking of here too.

Yet, this boy lived with his stepdad at one time. This boy’s sister from the same father still lives with them. But no, it has to be because it’s the woman’s child. Very funny.

Meanwhile, the man has expressed his reason for not being keen on housing the boy, but that doesn’t matter because, according to you men are hypocrites

KingSatan:
People are not even asking why his father is not involved in his life?

People are not asking why his uncle and aunty rejected him?


This very case has thought me alot about our judicial system.

People with a rational mindset would understand why Nigeria is a mess.

They are only being emotional. And the funny Hong is most of these women would have the very same reactions. Imagine suddenly hearing that your spouses other child will be coming to live with your family after he has frustrated his aunt and uncle. . You sef go protest.

I don’t know what she’s trying to prove to the father of the boy, but she clearly cannot raise the children by herself. If she could she would not have to send the boy to relatives.

Madam Vyvy, you are damaging your son because you want to prove to his father that you don’t need him. Sorry o. Your eye go soon clear.

foolbuster:
Are you telling me if the man was the boy's biological father he would chase him out of his house because he stole?

.

Yet, the biological father has zero involvement in the boy’s life.

The stepdad has done more for the boy recently than the biological father. Why are you not asking for the boy to be sent to his father? We know his real father is alive.

KingSatan:
I WILL GIVE YOU A MEDAL!

The man should be encouraged to do more. %30 is not enough.

Boarding school is also another option to explore. Secondly, the woman should engage her husband in a heart to heart.

She can say something like, "I will personally monitor him and work on him till he changes". Please give him a chance.

This man loves the boy but he is scared.

IF you have raised kids you will understand. One negative influence and the child is gone

Thank you for this.

Most people condemning the man have no experience with raising children of their own. They don’t understand peer pressure and how malleable children’s minds are. Has anybody asked how come the boy began to pilfer at that age? Where and how did he learn it? What other vices has he learnt?

egopersonified:
Imagine being rejected at 12 by every single family member you know. I feel pity for the boy. This damage may never heal. I wish I could accommodate him. I can never trade the safety, love and peace of my kids for anything.

This is the fault of his parents, not his stepfather.

romenna:
All dis kind wahala na e dey make men run from single mothers.
That man is a fool.
Let him carry his cross.
Him must accept u n ur son.
Him no get choice.
Him tink say na him wise, d rest of us wey dey run from single mothers na fool abi?
Very foolish and wicked man

Not only did he marry her knowing her situation, he already promised to live with both kids. He has to make good his words or leave the union.

However, I understand his apprehension in housing a child his wife’s siblings hastily sent packing. Any reasonable human would be cautious.

uruba23:
I am sure your lineage as the holiest oponu

Asiere, my lineage doesn’t have to be the holiest to eschew stealing

Viicfuntop:
He is 12. He is still a child. So what he stole? You think he just strted stealing because it was hereditary

His stepfather is apprehensive because his aunt and uncle have vehemently rejected him. And like I said, that is probably not his first infraction.

People seem to be missing the point that this boy is troubled and misbehaving and his stepdad isn’t ready to suffer this boy’s delinquencies.

Perhaps, when he made the promise to house his wife’s children, he didn’t know there was a problem child in the bargain.

uruba23:
Yimu be doing as if you didn't steal when you are twelve.

If theft is passed down in your lineage and seen as normal, I would like you to understand that not everyone has such values.

liverpool72:
yeye likes

Why likes? I ma a staunch advocate of never marrying a single mother under any circumstance. I nearly entered and I thank God I came back to my senses after seeing unsustainable lifestyle and worldview patterns.

The man is yeye because he is going back on his word. He promised to have all his wives children live with him and now he’s backing out. He should be knocked on the head.

Sixfeetbelle:
I used that phrase to show you I'm not close-minded about men despite the lot I've met. I'm not waiting for them to prove themselves because I allow a minute chance that one of them is different from the past.

We’re still saying the same thing. The difference is in the approach.

Sixfeetbelle:
Going by your ideology, all men should be dogs but I know some who are not. Yes, the human mind has evolved to understand patterns, but even science keeps a window of exception to every rule or proof ever made. Logic and philosophy are not far behind.

But I can see you already have a preconceived notion about this matter so I won't argue it further.

Have a good day.

Key phrase: Window of Exception.

Vyvyanvyvy:
He traveled to Italy and abandoned me with the children I shouldn’t waste my time waiting for him because he had move on and I’m also free to move on with my life

This is really difficult to believe. Even his family refused to have anything to do with you with two children/grandchildren? Wonderful.

Sixfeetbelle:
You're still missing the point. Don't generalise Nigerian Feminists because some people talk with the back of their mouth. Because you've met some who don't practice what they preach doesn't mean the rest are like that.

Na so. The true Scotsman fallacy.

Not all SARS officers are crazed killers, doesn’t mean you won’t give yourself brain if one stops you and starts asking questions.

The human mind has evolved to understand patterns and act accordingly in order to ensure survival of the species. You are all guilty until proven innocent.

Oyindidi:
You love the mother but you no want her son in your house. Yeye husband

Very yeye.

janvier27:
Your son is not a thief. He's a small child who found himself in an unfortunate situation, and he'll surely get over it. He needs love and attention. It's difficult not to place blames. I think you should have allowed those kids to get older before marriage. Your elder brother has failed you. So also your husband. Keep appealing to your husband or take a break off to live with your kids and show them love so that they can grow properly. Marriage is not all about keeping a woman at home and raising biological children from her.

This is the entitlement we are talking about. How did her elder brother fail her? By refusing to house a thief? Do bear in mind that may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Why doesn’t she send the boy to his father, after all, he’s alive

You do not have the contact of the father of your children, but you think the problem is your new husband. I comment my reserve Biko.

crackkhaus:
Not everyone can have the gift of discernment.

Indeed

missimelda01:
I wish I could click like a million times. You are intelligent.

No mind me o. Na breeze blow am come.

Sixfeetbelle:
Read this carefully.

Not all women are feminists. Not all women believe in gender equality.

Of course na, is that one news? Everybody knows even Nigerian feminists don’t believe in gender equality. They only want equality when it’s to their advantage, the moment feminism doesn’t favour them na to change mouth.

crackkhaus:
These are the opportunists Chimamanda speaks out for...people whose overall self-worth is attached to nothing else but the ability to attract and keep men with nothing but their woman-parts.

Look at the other one making light of something as serious as depression by talking about not having a man to upgrade her social/financial status, which is really the only thing 90% of them dream about...but the next second, they will still claim they are feminists who want gender equality.

Tueh...

I’m really sorry for men who can’t read the writings on the wall and understand gender dynamics.

Lexusgs430:
Egungu, be careful.... Nah express you dey go so.....

You done tell am

SpyAC:
My business was burgled on December, since then, life has never been the same, I hv wished and thoughts of so many negative things within me, but?

Be of good courage bro. You are the same person that built that business, you can do it again.

kestolove95:
I became pregnant and since den business has totally stop, no man wants to go closer to a pregnant girl

Crackkhaus, you see this? . Tomorrow they will be screaming for gender equality. But this madam is clearly using bobby to attract customers. No sales strategy, no marketing tactics. Just flirt and smile and get simps to come shop at her store.

This is also what they do in the workplace and expect to get promoted over men who have no breasts and vagina to attract patronage. It’s madness.