₦airaland Forum

@ituen Why you show the whole NLDers my multi-purpose babe? (could be used as a pillow and much more)
^{peeps through biggerboy's window and catches him in his bathroom wanking with the picture}

hmmmm roasted TURKEY and garri ^{scratches head} i think i wud like mine with salt

U still thinking ? i bet your system is already infected.
MIGINES, CLEM we beg you guyz in the name of all that is good
stop this thing cos i can't feel my left leg anymore.

Hey guyz i am only trying to be concerned here.
@Migines Guy u no go talk your church mind now, no block me later for corner ooo.

So Ituen dey work as offering manager?
@ITUEN thats kool, man ur experience will really come handy when i finally open my church.
I don buy the land and plastic white chairs, so i think we have the basics set.

@Migs the last time i checked it was a church.

@ituen Man no vex i can't take that risk.
which kind rough play be this, babe wey take me 3 weeks to get im address?

@clemcykul What are friends for, if not for inconveniences like this.
Don't worry, even if na money for you and Migs wedding ceremony.
Just Holla.

@Clem My people see wickedness in lower places.
Remember you made Migs bald with your corrosive FART.
Abeg no vex, no matter wetin i do 4give abeg.

@ITUEN u mean that kpofkpof company i lent you money to set up ?
@MIGINES why u dey act like this naaa ?

hmmm on a second thought,
why don't we all smoke weed and chew popcorn ?

Now thats a thought.
Atleast that will afford me the chance i need to open my own church

@Migines Yes bro, I have been busy closing some business deals.
I been wan buy barbeach, privatise the place, but those guyz weren't ready to trade.
I finally settled for Nigeria Railway Corporation.
NLDers watchout for the next ADENUGA.

@Migines Guy i think you will prefer the fragrance of my FART to any air freshner you have ever come across.
I dey think of packaging the thing self begin sell am to the general public.
Na the company name dey give me problem here.
Again i am open to suggestions.

what about 10 hot tips to get fired under 10 days ?

Now this is what u call a joke.

Sure the naming ceremony still dey hold
But i still dey get problem with wetin we go serve guests that day sha.
Personally i think SUGAR CANE n PALM OIL will be a good meal combination for d-day.
Please i am open to suggestions here.

Ona neva see breast.
Im get one babe i see for island the other day, her attack big pass any i have ever seen.
Na small thing remain, i nearly jam electric pole wey stand on im own.

@Migines n Clem
_{struggling for breath while holdin nose tight because of too much air pollution from MIGINES n CLEM.}
I wish you guyz happy farting life.

***hiss***
My people which tree ona feel say them pluck this guy ( tj_tj ) from ?
because personally i dey suspect pawpaw tree.
Guy your jokes are f&%kin DRY ,

Since this is now an Events Thread,
Let me use this opportunity to invite all Nairalanders to the naming ceremony of our chicken.
I also bought a new Car to mark this day.
But pesin for this forum thief am.
I no call anybody name, ^{but the person know im self}

@POSTER Your brain dey Trek @ the speed of snail.
I thought this was supposed to be a thread for Jokes ?

@biggerboy U wan take JUJU take serve JUJU ?

Come to think of it,
What will the baby look like since there was no lite when ITUEN n TESSY were doing it ?
Afterall na me been hold lamp for them and we all know the way ituen normally sweats when he is untop.

@Suga_Lips Swthrt, You should have asked why i chose the moon
I heard their is this new exotic 9 star hotel built by 1 Niger Delta astronaut (Asari Dokubo)
The suites come with a Jacuzzi filled with champagne.
I know you will like it.
Moreover it will be safe from all the badbelles in NLD.

@kronkykay I no fit shout.

B£N grabs Suga_Lips, mounts his private rocket and takes off to the moon.
Guess what TT,thats where we will be spending the rest of our HONEYMOON.

^{B£N rushes in and grabs a bullet proof.}
Do you guyz have DOGS so i bring a jean along also?

Swtheart No vex ^{oh i forgot she doesn't understand naija english}
Not all of us where priviledged to attend private schools.
[s]If not for God's intervention,my Mum would have exchanged me for a washing hand basin when i was born in the Hospital.[/s]
I am lucky i even had an education
The koko is that i will do anything to make you happy, [s]eventhough it means killing my mother inlaw.[/s]
@Migines Man wetin we go do naa, we need to make pple laff, The Condition of Naija economy don reach to make even mad man laff though.
@kronkykay Thank your stars i am in a happy mood, , I for change am for your head.

Someone Could have told me we have CHYKIN COMPETITION

THIS IS COMIN FROM THE DEEPEST PARTS OF MY CHEST HEART.
My dearest Sugalips, only ur name gives me malaria
From the first time i saw u, my heart contrast like egg ontop fryin pan.
Everytime i think of you na so my love dey manifest.
Shun Nairaland pressure, na u be my personal treasure.
Unlike TT wey broke, Me go spend for U.
Will take u around d world (mushin,oshodi,palmgrove,onikpan,ajekunle)
Presently i have 3 Containers untop RIVER NAIJA
I don't mind to give your father 1 container, Ur siblings can take 1 Container too.
Then U and I can start life with the remaining One.
Your soonest reply is needed b4 i catch LOVE FEVER ^{starts panting heavily}.

^{Enters the room grinning from ear to ear,}
Abeg who see my missing rib, Monicamony ?