₦airaland Forum

@Monicamony Was i drunk when the marriage took place between us ?
_{*shakes Monicamony - maybe u're daydreaming*}

@POSTER Babe you really funny,
If you this funny and still single, hw e go be because
My current babe is as dry as a dry gin
holla ur man 08039518965 ^{abeg no flashing}

@ Ninjabyte  are OC no be like that ooooo,
U beta allow me chop kpomo or i tell everyone as you take wan bore hole for my yansh.
_{*whispers OC na bisexual*}

@ Ninjabyte are OC no be like that ooooo,
U beta allow me chop kpomo or i tell everyone as you take wan bore hole for my yansh.
*whispers OC na bisexual*

@ poster, Babe i like your sense of humour,
Meanwhile i need break-up tips here abeg
_{i believe everyone know my story ?}

Guyz no be say i dull oooo , Or say i no try as a fine boy,
But from my TOPIC, Ona go understand say this thing don enter Science ^Juju
So guyz with indian mystic connection, feel free to help.
_{*make i run paste this b4 she catch me dey write*}

Ninjabyte:
^{Sirens Blazing}

Ok People This is the Nigeria Police. Somebody called 999 2 days ago. We were on petrol queue since then. We just got served. Ok ok, all of u boys one side and the gals the other. All of you, license and registration please. Also, let us see your Love permit and Sexual Orientation Certificate _{Clemcy most especially}. I c, the problem here is that 2 under-aged boys are dragging over a girl? Sgt, Cuff em all.

You all are charged with public show of Illegal Love without Permission, Which ultimately leads to the spread of killer diseases, Chargeable under Section 2, Paragraph 62, Verse 1, of the Amalgamation of Geneva Convention and United Nations Agency for Love and Sex (UNALS). Sgt., Read them their rights.

Errr, Tessybaby, u being the offendee, i suggest u follow me to my office to write your report. _{Hee hee hee, salivating}

Ok, Carry gooo

@ Poster OC i for like give my own report too, Even if na turn by turn i no mind ^{*u know what i mean (smiles)*}

This is serious.

@Tessybaby - You must be a damsel for our honorable Ituen and frustrated Biggerboy to be dragging for U.

[sub][/sub] I think d battle line is drawn here , Runs into Tessybaby's bedroom for cover.

Monicamony:
it still makes me laugh though.

So u admit say u thief anoda pesin joke paste here, I like truthful pple.
U try .

1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I sleep with)

PERSONAL SUGGESTION,

the reason to No 1 shud not only be

1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I sleep with)

but Plus+ (I am enjoying the office i have opened on your head and won't like to loose it yet)

na waoo ona don forget www.banbiala.com ?

slitty:
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN



Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.



HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN



Show up naked.
Bring beer.

MY SUGGESTION

Wine her, Agbo self na wine
Dine her, Even if na BUKA
Call her, MTN go use you hammer
Hug her, How u go fit hug am when she fat pass FAT ALBERT?
Hold her, Try Endure if she get body odour
Surprise her, Carry EKWE (musician)go play love song for am
Compliment her, Tell am say she fine even if u know deep down say she worwor
Smile at her, She no go kode say u dey laff her ugly face
Laugh with her, Even if she crack dry Jokes
Cry with her, When u don finally break im heart
Cuddle with her, When she don accept her fate
Shop with her, If na she go do the spending
Give her jewelry, For what? Na u be im papa ?
Buy her flowers, Ugwu leave (vegetable) full everywhere pluck one give her
Hold her hand, If u never chop kpomo,when ona wan cross road make she no die leave u
Write love letters to her, That one easy go lovingyou.com
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her. Na waoo Even if u be moses na u trek pass?

radiation:
An usher caught a man sleeping in a church service. He wrote in a paper 1thessalonians 5:6 "Therefore, we must not fall asleep like other people, but we must stay awake and be sober" and gave it to the man. The man read it and gave the usher a paper with 1thessalonians 4:11 "and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands, just as we commanded you"

Abeg those of ona wey laff, ona fit explain the joke to me ? Cos i still dey find wetin funny here and i neva see.

Before i start, this is not in anyway a joke,

Ona rememba dat my babe wey i been tell ona b4 say it took the mercy of God b4 she free me and we break up ?
She don come again and this time with more problems.

Despite the fact she made me owe 3yrs school fees including rent for school last session,
She don cry crocodile tears come again say she sorry.
Not to be d devil, i come accept am back.
Now i no get only my school fees to pay,
she made me pay her own plus 2 of her brodas and 1 of im cousin.

As if that is not enough, she wan contest election for school,
and as her bobo, i suppose be the sponsor.
My pple as i am writing this message i dey confused because she no give room for break up
REASON: For Betta 4 Force.

Please help a broda in distress. I go dey Update una.

@Migines Wetin u think b4 ?

kool man, i cant stop laughing. my ribs are aching badly.

Migines:
You are mocking the house of God. Dat'aint kul bro.

clemcykul:
u are on your own bear your cross dear joker!

@Migines, tope_teadr,clemcykul . Na wao, can't u guyz take a joke ? Anyway i know say to make naija man laf na WAEC. That won't deter me from going on with my plans. I don buy land self with plastic chairs. So na pulpit remain.

Imagine, i took the time off to attend service with my mum,
Next minute, the preacher was talking about problems.
He then asked everyone to bring their problems before the lord.
I was so surprised when i saw my mum dragging me to the Altar.

====

Can you believe things people do?
I was sitting next to this guy in church.
@ The middle of the service, he lit a cigarette.
I was shocked; I almost dropped my bottle of beer.


====


This is to inform my pals here @ Naira land and the general public,
About a mouth watering job offer at my establishment.
"JEHOVAH NO DEY Bleep’UP MINISTRIES INC.

PASTOR;
Requirements; Ability to convince the customers, sorry congregation to pay big during Tithe and offerings.
SALARY;
Strictly on percentage.

CHORISTERS;
Requirements; sexy shape with better front and back. No long thing again needed.

BOUNCERS OR USHERS;
Requirements; ability to identify people wey no get money from the church gate and show them their way to anoda church.

SALARY; Negotiable.

NOTE: Auditioning for the post of chorister is currently on @ my place. All interested applicants should come in person. No CV needed.

For the bad belles wey no like my company, make ona leave matter for Matthias because right now, e no easy for Ezekiel.

ituen:
You just have 12 posts and the next thing i see is CONJY!!!! Na wa for you oh. DO u know of the thread "Sexuality"

@ituen Na wao, u go like quarel pass fight ooo. Na joke we all dey now. Nothing personal ok, and am sincerely sorry if i hurt your feelings.

@bimbliss ; For now i am single and seriously searching, If u sure no go open barbing saloon for my head like my last girl friend, this is my # 08039518965 the name is Ben.

@ Migines ; Don't get it *Imao*

haba what makes you think Seun can teach the guy, or you mean Seun is na expert for that area
i hope it will not be like this on our weding night oh, as me and my man has never_ _ _ _ _ (Fill in the Gap)

@Digital ; hmm so na who we go ask ? to be sure that u and your guy has never _ _ _ _ ?

@ adexbols ; Guy which ones now ? U just dey quote Chemistry and Physics, I think say na joke we dey , next thing u enter departmental, Guy i am still readin your joke and i am not laughing yet,

@ temmysexy : Hw e go be naa ? Where do we send our cv or would u prefer we apply in person ?

@clemcykul ; na waoo are you trying to insinuate that saucekid and adekennis are GAY ? *scratches head* wonders shall never end.

First i thought it was a joke , then i laughed next thing guyz don begin act mojo for nairaland , pls tell me na congy hold all of ona ?

@ kingdons ; So u look all of us age here for nairaland settle down give us jamb question, who u think say be jambite here ? Abeg who get cane this dude need serious beating. Will u tell us the answer now before i loose my temper ?

@ Chuxy; Funny, but i thought this joke belongs to "I GO DIE" y u dey copy copy ??

God help us, Hunger can make pple do anything for money, Guy abeg leave the comedy idea cos u are so dry. I think u should consider "sumo wrestling"",

Y u no go choke when u dey chew dry garri ,

Guy U no lie , It took the intervention of God to loose my last gf (She made me owe 3yrs school fees).Thank God am free , Did i hear someone shout praise the Lord ?