₦airaland Forum

Can good fruit come out of bitter trees

You are talking of a nation full of angry bitter people who don't know where the next food is coming from

A nation where injustice reigns as king

A nation where 0.5% of the populace live in opulence, 5% eke out a semblance of middle class life while the remnant sEetje with envy at this portion

A nation where murderers and pedophiles legislate for everyone

Do you expect that nation to be normal

For your good, stay clear of the politics section

The regulars don't know anything called moderation no more

It's pure balkanisation


How can someone justify legimitate extortion because it is done by the magnate of the SW

Or justify the inept leadership at the top because na south south time

Or have the temerity to request for amnesty for apprentice suicide bombers because it was done for MEND

Or even praise orji and orji kalu as heralds of a biafran renaissance

But it is who we are

We dig in and insult the other because looking at ourselves, inwardly is too sad


Dpnt worry.. Go to other sections

These same people are saner there
But some are incorrigible

ujchief: The level of raw hatred, angst and venom being propagated in this section is terrible; and, in most recent times, reached an alarming peak. If internet is the only means of getting informed, then Nairaland will end up getting millions deformed. I'm totally unaware of any 'real' ruffle between igbos and yorubas in real life until I started partaking in discussions inside this section.

Something needs to be done, and urgently too. Those of us that can't really find any reason to indulge in tribal bashing are beginning to resent this forum. I'm aware that our leaders may have erred in one way or the other, but the level of hatred we fume against each other isn't something to smile about. Worst still, each comment we make here will remain in data base of search engines and will be reproduce verbatim even in decades to come.

Tell me how someone can remain unscathed after going thru the threads I listed below.

www.nairaland.com/1380784/lagos-state-government-orders-army

www.nairaland.com/1381053/fashola-replies-peter-obi-over

www.nairaland.com/1381415/fact-check-anambra-enugu-abia-government

www.nairaland.com/1381262/apga-sue-fashola-demands-n20b

www.nairaland.com/1381602/anambra-orders-arrest-deportation-child

www.nairaland.com/1380995/why-did-ibos-support-deportation

www.nairaland.com/1381894/ibo-govenors-tribalising-fasholas-moves

www.nairaland.com/1381738/deportation-igbos-lagos-senator-ngige

Its possible that recent events acted as catalyst to bring out the worst in us, but; mehn! There's heavy venom going on in the hearts of many here. It affects some of us negatively in the real life.

Something needs to be done.

Nice one

Wish you the best

u think e easy to dey type with micro mini keypads



good man

sholay2011: Na family section you go hear "CC".."."...as if the pesin be stammerer What of BB (biolabee)?

Nice thread btw.

lymelyte: Some of d so called nairaland ladies here,una dey fear to declare una feminity? Some go register without indicating thier sex...na wa for una oo

Nice one

I guess it's a result of the belief that one should not sleep with issues unresolved

greatgod2012: Thanks.
And yes, my hubby is also guilty of that No 4, we won't sleep if we had had a disagreement during the day, until everything is thrashed out. But I think its good like that o until I came across this piece.

Na the format

Even the akb have run out of excuses

Where is duduspace

As of 11 08 gmt

It's been 8 years 2 months 11 days 8 hours 12 minutes since arze lifted a title not cup

4llerbuntu: hehehe. u now understand d scope shey?

leave dt man ooo. they think they have sense.

No

Just your certificate

Uniport grads don't bother with wes

ferdiii: Does WES assess work experience?

@mercy

The process favors those with families as adaptability is higher
If you have family already there - better

Also language score, experience above 6 yrs and good finances helps

This is a good thread

Note that there are other assessors aside wes.

It took a week but my bis is working

Thanks etisalat but no thanks

Still angry though

Choi.. See format

Bid for an unbuyable player

Baba ijebuuuuuuu

why are we so Black-hearted

na today... the black females in the west already are experiencing this syndrome...

hypergamy

MEans the successful black men of the future will have their fill of top quality chics

No 4 is a nice one

Well done

coogar: this is where the dilemma lies.....united nations or UNICEF(the west) cannot make that decision - only the people of the area concerned can determine what age is appropriate for a child to marry.

it's their custom, it's their religion. when the west decided to back gay marriage, did they consult the saudi monarch or the taliban??

Back to this religion issue... pls can tbaba explain

tbaba1234: ^ Like i said, it is a subjective issue. There is no set age for maturity. The age of maturity is not a religious injunction.

Very good, why is yerima then hiding under the cloak of religion because he knows it id a touchy issue

Thanks do you think this old interpretation of a girls maturity should still hold in these modern age considering she is to attain a good level of education

I would like you to look at these issue from two angles


Is it a religious thing ie ordained by the divine Being OR A cultural thing..since you mentioned arabs

Damn... this team is solid.... mario gol

I dey gbadun this tv guy


Weird but articulate

^^^^^ na so....

She made sense n she quoted scripture.. forget about the selling islam part

I will like to hear the nl elders speak though

coogar: it's actually the main qualities of the modern wave feminists.......they are vile, obnoxious, aggressive, self-centred, priggish, caustic and with a deep-rooted hatred for the opposite gender.

if a woman is not exhibiting these traits, then you don't belong to the posse of modern feminists!

Dont forget acerbic

If it is mentality.. that will take time be patient

You're talking of a transition from a patriarchal mindset in afrika to one where women are treated as partners

It will take time but dont tar all males with the brush of misogynists n rapi.sts as some of your ilk do

bukatyne: Coogar and Biolabee,

True that girls go to school, vote, I have not witnessed the wage disparity etc.

BUT

There is still a lot of work to be done on the mindset of people.

Read through NL and you see that a lot of guys still believe they are superior to women and this reflects very well in the marriage setting.

A man has no qualms having female colleagues but does not want his wife (the woman 'under' him to work); a lot have said the house chores is beneath them, they feel women should be able to cope with infidelity and abuse etc.

The inequality now is of the mind and this is where we need the help of our parents esp mothers...

It's well

Damn....is NL meant to be taken this seriously?

oh,,, that one..na today.... they will tire and be banned
They are serial e-fighters so they must rid themselves of the beef before they stop

Na today,...

They will be joined by others sooner than later

Frankly what I dont get is their innate desire to just insult...

Especially unprovoked..

The imagery i get of them is that of a sex-starved snakelike shrew that just lashes out at any iota of testosterone

bukatyne: Professional wetin? Feminist?

The truth is that I will never say what I have not seen to buttress/win a debate

When i mean professional, i mean like working...

so you are speaking from experience and not regurgitating some gospel without even processing same...

I have told you countlessly that you are not a feminist.. but rather a humanist who believes in justice
Coogar put up a video some days ago where feminists desttoyed a meeting for victims of female abuse
Implied in thier actions are that men can never suffer domestic abuse

HAHAHA

coogar: that's what any true islamic cleric would tell you...
the idea is to protect the girl-child from the cardinal sin called fornication. if she's married off before she discovers her sëxuality, the risk of fornication is technically nullified.....

kinky ish...

Can the muslim NL elders confirm if this is so...


I read an article by a muslim women and she seems to disagree
It baffles me though that few muslims have spoken against this.. even the southerners

http://rinsolaabiola.com/?p=538

Long article though..

Child Marriage Not Islamic
By: Rinsola Abiola on July 24, 2013 - 4:27am
inShare
If there’s one thing that I admire most about Islam, it’s the way and manner in which it elevated a society from the depths of savagery and made them the ‘best of mankind’. I happen to be of the opinion that when we do disagree in matters relating to religion, instead of resorting to personal attacks we should try to refute the ‘offensive’ argument with evidence from the Quran and Sunnah. I happen to believe that child marriage is neither advisable nor Islamically endorsed. ...And Allah knows best.

Those of us who take time to learn about reproductive health and teach it to others surely know the risks of early sexual exposure. It is a scientifically proven fact that childbirth below the age of 17 could have serious adverse effects on a woman’s health -- an increased risk of developing cervical cancer, vesico vaginal Fistula (VVF) and maternal mortality. It is also much more common for under-aged mums to attempt killing their babies. I totally acknowledge the fact that cervical cancer has many other risk factors, but evidence of its prevalence amongst women who had too early sexual exposure and became mothers below 17 cannot be refuted. With respect to VVF, there are an estimated 800,000 cases in northern Nigeria, and this would not matter if the practice of taking child brides was not prevalent there; unless, of course, someone can prove without an iota of doubt that these alarming statistics have nothing to do with this practice.

I totally acknowledge the fact that betrothal can occur years (or even decades) before consummation, but if these men were as patient with their brides, as some would have us believe, then, why is VVF so common? I won’t vilify the men, because some of them actually treat their wives right and wait for them to fully develop and even make appreciable impacts on their lives, but the fact remains that an overwhelming majority don’t.
The word ‘developed’ is very relative; some hinge this on menstruation, others on the moment a girl begins to grow breasts, but the one thing that I really wish would be put into cognizance is the fact that outward endowment and inner development are two extremely different things and therefore occur at different paces. I know many ladies who began to menstruate when they were 8; would those claiming that the ‘third menstruation should be in her husband’s house’ really suggest that these CHILDREN have adult organs shoved into their tiny bodies simply because they are ‘women now’? Would these people really recommend that an 8-year-old be allowed to indulge in a sex act and be put through child birth simply because she has started menstruating? Would they permit anyone do that to their own daughters?
One bitter truth: child marriage has always been closely associated with low socio-economic status. In reality, many of these girls are sold (not married) off in order to alleviate poverty. This is even more painful in light of the fact that, once these girls develop VVF, these same ‘loving’ husbands are quick to disown them and move on to the next child. All for what? The pleasure of marrying a virgin?

Also, most divorced women fall between the 18-25 age group; this is because rushing into marriage without fully understanding what it entails can only lead to beating a hasty retreat out of it. Married at 11, divorced (more like abandoned with VVF) by 19 -- is this the kind of life we want for our children? If this is not true, then, why is the rate of divorce so high?
Now, Islamically, what are the prerequisites for marriage? Mutual attraction (2:221. 30:21, 33:52. 2:235); similar faith (2:221, 60:10); the mahr (dowry) must be paid (4:4. 4:24); the two parties must fully understand what marriage entails (4:21. 2:232, 2:237, 24:33); to be matured (not maturing), i.e., one must have passed the stage of puberty (4:6, 24:31, 24:58-59). In the case of an unsuccessful marriage, one should be capable of initiating divorce and understanding the proceedings [2:226-232, 2:241, 4:35, 4:128-130, 33:49, 65:1-6].
Some have suggested that counseling/mental and physical evaluation centres be set up in order to determine who is actually developed enough for marriage and who isn’t, and that the decision of whether or not to go ahead be placed on the verdict of well-trained and qualified personnel. This would go a long way in solving the dilemma of an exact age not being specified and also stop these girls from being put in harm’s way. This would also be in line with Quranic provisions that they be tested until they reach this age.

The argument that I personally find most shallow is that of ‘13-year-olds can get pregnant for their boyfriends, but they can’t get married?’ to which I say: upbringing goes a long way in determining what activities a child will be engaged in at that age. That some lost their virginity at 13 does not mean that all of us did, or that every child will. Why are we making examples of those pregnant teens, and not of many sisters who married in their mid-20s and were chaste? Why not say ‘why should a 13-year-old have sex when 23- year-olds are virgins?’ The truth of the matter is: a 13-year-old shouldn’t be having sex in the first place and marriage is therefore not a solution to that! ‘Legalizing’ sex for children is like saying ‘why criminalize corruption when politicians are bound to steal? Why don’t we just increase their allowances by 100,000 per cent?’

Even more shocking was someone giving the excuse that ‘fathers rape their daughters because they get tempted by their outward appearance’. In other words, incest can be excused in cases where the ‘developed’ child has not been shipped off to the husband’s house because, after all, a man is a man and could find even his own daughter irresistible (aoodhubillah!). Somehow, the victim should be blamed for being ‘developed’ and we’re all supposed to sympathize with the harassed father, not castrate him. Men who paint fellow men in such a bad light and portray them all like irrational beasts with hormones raging out of control really deserve to be condemned by all sane men!
The aim of Shariah is not to cause hardship or suffering, or diseases for that matter! The 800,000 women living with VVF and thousands of others dying from complications during child birth are a serious situation that needs to be urgently addressed. Islam elevates mankind, yet we hinge a practice that puts our girls in early graves and leads to their abandonment after becoming diseased on Islam. How many wealthy men who go about buying child brides give out their own daughters as children? Child marriage, poverty and illiteracy among women are closely linked; any wonder why we still have many poor widows and women who find it hard to sustain themselves without a man in the picture? That many wealthy people do not have a college degree does not make them stark illiterates. Some child brides furthered their education; thousands of others did not. Would it not amount to selfishness to not consider this large majority too?

Are we as one Ummah going to keep quiet about this, or will we rise to the challenge and speak with one voice against a practice that has so many unfavourable side-effects? Islam was established as a way of life by defying the norm. If the blessed generation, the early Muslims, were concerned about not ruffling feathers, then, polytheism would have remained the status quo. Somewhere, a girl just bled to death because she had a child when her body could not support one. It’s high time we put an end to high maternal mortality, to VVF, to high divorce rates and reduced the risk of cancer in our women. It’s high time the concerned amongst us reached out to Muslim opinion leaders and clerics and made them realize the danger of continuing this way.

Theres no need to be wary

Personally i have nothing against abortion...(i believe in choice) and good of you to be clear on the so-called wage gap

I believe you are a professionall,....

So why do these people still bandy the same mantra of wage gap... bla bla bla

Schooled...

I dont know how graduates will still be pandering something as absurd as gender parity
That men earn more than women irrespective

That my aboki earns more than a female banker

Shmucks

coogar: every anti-feminism on NL sees the feminazis as a representation of the whole because the equality war has been won already. what else are you still fighting for? are women not in school? do women not vote? what organisation is anti-female in our world today? so what else is there to fight for if not superiority?



you are a modern wave feminist = feminazi. the pioneers have won the war way before we were born. women were voting in the 1890s in the US and if you must know, many men(non-landowners and coloured men) were forbidden from voting in the past too.



99cent needs therapy!