₦airaland Forum

abduleez1:
Lol, I like what you selling bro.

Auzubillah!

CarlosTheJackal:
I got mine from the man who gave European security network a pain in their neck that he became a nightmare to them.


Google carlosthejackal

Why would you choose someone like that?

CsRockefeller:
My next movie in line after Endgame. I hope it's worth it.

You won't regret it.

losprince:
just because a movie doesn't have much peeshun peeshun doesn't make it boring ese, Dunkirk actually had me on edge the whole time.

I'm not one to fancy too much action, I just don't know why 10 minutes into the film I felt bored. Maybe I'll have to go back and actually watch it for real.

losprince:
Saving Private Ryan 10/10

What a ride! Perfect film, undoubtedly knocks off Dunkirk as my best war film yet. I especially like that the main focus of the movie was on the characters and not the war itself, and that it took time to breath occasionally and before the final conflict.

What an engrossing story, accompanied by humour, sacrifice, tragedy and love.

That beach sequence was something of extraterrestrial proportions.

Dunkirk was too boring for a war films. Watch only 10min then stopped.

Octopusssy:

What?

biGDhAp:
I was actually going to suggest he should get the main act for deadpool.. that would suit him compared to being batman.


the only thing that might work in him playing deadpool's main act is that he's not funny

Deadpool? Absolutely NO!

Ishilove:
Van Damme also received a similar training and he is a way better actor. What of former WWE fighters like The Rock and Dave Bautista who are life long athletes but are fantastic actors, especially the Rock?

Let's face it. Steven Seagal is a terrible actor

I'm talking about Scott Adkins.
And seriously, WWE fighters are all along actors and not martial artist. So it doesn't compare.

Nooil:
I don't know about you, but I love listening to the stories my parents and other elderly people share.

The WhatsApp thing isn't even a big deal cos like someone said earlier, I scan through and reply if necessary.

But I noticed from comments here that some parents go overboard. Yet, I won't agree it's because of loneliness.

I think it's a sense of responsibility on their part, trying to keep their children informed about the things happening in the world, in case they are not aware.

Definitely not because of loneliness.

No, it's not always about loneliness.
Of course all elderly people want you to be responsible man.
But in my experience, I'm picture people who are not below 70 yrs. My grandad died 2018, 128yrs old. I've 6 aunts who are all over 70. I love those people so much. I was practically raised by them. And I know they love me too. I know it because I do what they love most; sit down and listen to their babbles.
And I pay attention to them carefully. old people, anywhere in the world, are alike.
They don't have people closeby who can relate about their lifetime, that's a lonely thing.

Yes, sure. We have to factor in the age of the parents for summations to have a chance of applying to others.

DandeNumeruno:
neither did jason statham but look at where he is today.

adkins deserves to be in a blockbuster playing the main character.

Yeah. At least Jason Statham is trying, Scott Adkins, Just like Bruce Lee, is a martial arts crusader. I think he's more interested in sharing the art of fighting.

Ishilove:
Thank God I'm not the only one who thinks he is a terrible actor. He has the same expression in all his movies: wooden.

Ishi, forget. Na too much training cause am.
Even you if you chop half the training wey that guy get, you no go fit laugh.

Nooil:
This thing you said just dampened my spirit, please it's not loneliness. They just like sharing unlike this generation of ours that are good at hoarding things.

Yes, that's the point.
When you have so much to share about life and you barely find people who would listen, who would you feel?

DandeNumeruno:
very very very underrated.

some people seems think that he can't act but this guy is always solid in every movie i've seen him in.

i wonder what his haters will say if they see him in AVENGEMENT (2019).

Lol! It's like people telling Messi to go to another club before they can yield to him.

I think, foremostly, he's a martial artist before anything, he probably didn't even went to acting school.

All his movies I've seen were about combat.
He sticks to what he know best. And he's demn good at it, nobody can deny that.

Almost all of the best martial artist are poor actor.

money121:
Mine na Daddy
And not whatsapp ooo
His own na facebook

He will call early morning

Ayyub mo ri post ise ee( becos am into roofing business so i do update video of job on social media) or if we are together this man go dey show me old video

Shey oo ti ri video yi i will respond beeni sir

Gbam gist beere ni ye

Most of them just want to connect, most times their approach is just so clumsy, Especially if they are very old. It loneliness.
God bless their souls

Bratking:
i dunno why you guys are hating on my main gee, scott adkins.

the nigga brings it every time. 100% commitment. hard worker.

one day he's gonna get his big break and put his haters to shame.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQoCfJxyraE

love all his movies. very underrated.

One of the most underrated martial arts actor.

LordKO:
The issue is that both of you literally have an erroneous understanding of what independent-mindedness (strong-mindedness) mean. Independent-mindedness is a psychological profile, not a philosophy; a crucial part of ethical leanings, which itself is the end product/quotient of emotional, moral and psychological/intelligence blending. Psychological profile can be either innate or acquired; each human being is either strong-minded (independent-minded) or head-strong or feeble-minded.

So, it's one thing to be independent-minded while it's entirely a different thing to be conscientious - one can be independent-minded without being conscientious, but one can't be conscientious without be independent-minded - it takes one of sound ethical leanings to be conscientious. To be independent-minded without being conscientious is similar to liberty without decorum, it's a disease - plan doesn't negate spontaneity.

On the issue of privacy, oneness doesn't negate liberty - liberty only becomes a problem when it negates altruism in particular and decorum/conscientiousness in general.

In light of the above, only people who're of sound ethical leanings - one is either of the sound ethical leanings/diplomatic ethical leanings or manipulative ethical leanings (small-minded people belong here) - can effectively pursue oneness. Where oneness is effective, the parties involved always mutually have inner peace and happiness and absolute confidence on each other - oneness is the soul of marriage, while altruism is the soul of oneness itself.

Thank you for dropping some knowledge bomb here.

So, basically, your point on privacy is that " it's okay for one to have secrets as long as these secrets are not of infidelity and/or would cause unhappiness in your marriage."?
I would buy that.

TonyeBarcanista:
My brother, I think this is self explanatory.

A man should have an independent mind that is not influenced by peers or societal narratives.

This simply means that men should be themselves and take decisions based on their conviction and not because of peers or societal narratives. Any individual (man or woman) whose decision is influenced by peers or society will live regretful life as he will ignore his deepest conviction when/if it doesn't tally with those of the society and his/her peers.

He must realise that issues that concern relationship and home affairs are unique and he doesn't need popular opinion of relatives and strangers (on and off social media) before taking decision
Yes, when there is internal issues within his home, he doesn't need to sample opinion from people with aim of implementing popular opinion. He may seek "advice" on issues but implementation of advice must be based on HIS informed conviction. Let me reteirate that Seeking opinion of more experienced and matured people is not all bad but the decision to be taken must still be based on PERSONAL CONVICTION irrespective of whether it is the popular choice or otherwise.

The point here is that MEN have the independent mindset.


2.
Your wife is a second half of you. Any privacy or secret that can't be told your wife simply means it is either you don't trust her enough or you don't understand marriage especially the phrase of two becoming ONE!

As for being sued, how can someone sue you for telling your wife? Will you or your wife inform him or what? And if you can't trust any woman enough with your deepest secret please don't marry her!

Sir, if you don't trust a woman enough to entrust your life to her, please don't marry her. Only marry someone that you can be comfortable with your eyes closed and bullet loaded in a gun on her hands because you know that she can't and won't harm you.

NOTE SIR: The marriage between man and wife is like that existing between Christ and the Church. It is like that which existed between Abraham and Sarah - there is no privacy nor secrecy. Remember, marriage is 2 people becoming 1 not two people living together as flatmates or roommates. Sir, do note also that this breeds companionship and bonding.

This is why is is strongly advisable to set right your priorities, live rightly and marry a woman of high virtue. Marital decision and choice of spouse makes or mar men.

1. Alright, I now understand better.
That's not as much complicate as sliced bread. Listening to others opinion before making the decision yourself is a mental model for almost any problems. Not just marriage. So, spot on!

2. I will still let my horses free regarding the issue of trust but, I would like to be understood better; of course any relationships that isn't built on trust is built on deceit. be that as it may, there limits to things your spouse should know about things that concerned only you and other people, especially if these people would prefer that their affairs be kept secret from anyone, your spouse included, and especially if these secret don't concern the health of your marriage. Divulging such secrets can be counterproductive on the very relationships you want to protect.
If I'm must give anybody a gun that can potentially be pointed to my head, I'd make sure that I am not going to be too sorry about it. Because, I'll remove the firing pin and remove the primer in the bullet and render the gun completely impotent.
Nobody should deny the fact that the world we live in is so full of uncertainties. We've heard of it, we've seen it, a love story the Envy of everyone, divorcing almost as fast as the get wedded. So we can't deny that the unwanted may happen. All that talk about the church and Christ and two people becoming one is just fantasy.

Trust doesn't necessarily mean lack of secret.
There are situation where you must keep some information from people you love to protect them
And there are situation where you must Keep certain secret just to yourself. Because, in a situation where your spouse must choose between you and themselves, they will surely choose themselves. It's Human nature.

It better to "hope for the best and prepare for the worst"

And lastly I do not support any kind of martial infidelity. Be loyal to your spouse and don't put them to shame.

N:B Tonye has a lot of fellowship who are to some extent fanatics in extollment of his views.
Please, keep any disagreement cordial.
Thank you.

Mr. ToyeBarcanista few days ago opened a thread (link of the thread below) advising people on the subject of marriage.
https://www.nairaland.com/5693224/what-men-must-ensure-successful#86770968

The discussion on the thread has went a bit far, so I open a new thread to ask TonyeBarcanista to explain few points he made. Thank you.

Here are some excerpts From his article.

TonyeBarcanista post=.:
1.
Independent Mind: A man should have an independent mind that is not influenced by peers or societal narratives. He must realise that issues that concern relationship and home affairs are unique and he doesn't need popular opinion of relatives and strangers (on and off social media) before taking decision.

1. What are you trying to says exactly?
Because, This sounds a lot like you're saying that people should not listen to all the advice you have given your precious hour to pen down.
What if a man has an "independent mind" but not a sound mind and he's hurting his family, so he should not listen to anyone carry on?

TonyeBarcanista post=.:
2

Set Ground Rules And Stick To It
Every man should lay basic ground rule governing the relationship from the onset and ensure strict compliance. One important area that should not be overlooked is the subject of privacy. There is no privacy between a pair as long as relationship is concerned. Each should have unrestricted access to the other, including knowing passwords of phones; it is not a sign of insecurity contrary to what society would want to make one belief, it is simply a testament of oneness. As a man, any woman that doesn't believe in "No Privacy" relationship is most likely hiding something from you and should be a no-no.

I think this policy is unrealistic and naive for the following reasons:
* People must have relationships that extend to the outside world, public relationships, and some of them have secrets ( dealings that may need to be kept private) which are not of any concerns to your wife.
Letting her know about them for any reason without the agreement of the individual/s concerned would be a breeches of trust. You may get sued.
* Who knows? divorce may happen anytime for any foolish reason. How many times has anyone of you put all your efforts to making sure that things go your way, but at the end of the day a monkey wrench comes along to destroy your plans. That's life sh#t happens.
God help you if someone who knows all your secret ended up becoming your bitter enemy, because, no one can.
So be smart to share only what is necessary not everything.
And don't expect or demand to be told everything too.

gentlegenius:
It is true. Your mentality about who is qualified to give marriage advice and who isn't qualified is HIGHLY FLAWED.
Marriage is not a profession where EXPERIENCE counts. It is KNOWLEDGE and MATURITY that counts. Some people have been married for decades, yet they lack the MATURITY and KNOWLEDGE to advice youngsters on how to succeed in marriage. But some people who are not yet married might have the MATURITY and KNOWLEDGE to advice even couples. This is because maturity doesn't come by age, and knowledge doesn't go to those who fail to seek it.
The general rule for succeeding in anything you want to do is: FOLLOW THE PRINCIPLES.
If a doctor with many years professional experience fail to study and know the ethics of medical profession, then he doesn't have what it takes to advice a young upcoming doctor, but if a laundry man takes time to study and know the ethics of medical profession, he is qualified to advice an upcoming doctor.
You should know by now that some of our parents who appears to be succeeding in marriage (with many years experience) doesn't have what it takes to advice 21st century young people on how to succeed in marriage. This is because time have changed, so is the world. What is required to succeed in marriage today is somehow different from what was required in those days, when some of them simply settled down with partners that were chosen for them.
Some people don't study the principles of marriage success today because they assume it is the same with what was obtainable in those days.
Another thing you must note is that many couples today that have been married for years are simply tolerating each other and enduring the marriage because of reasons that have nothing to do with love. It is much better for a bachelor who study and knows the principles of marriage success to advice you than for such 'experienced' couples to advice you.

Anyone who is not bereaved of common sense should agree with me at this point.

cc: TonyeBarcanista (the OP).

You raised some points I would have loved to counter. Unfortunately, because of your last statement, I've decided that you lack the maturity to have a productive discuss, and I don't have patience for useless things.

Feel free to not quote me again.

Nooil:
Not all gynecologists are women. Not all doctors have been pregnant. Not all nurses or midwives have delivered their babies. But they all do these things for other women.

Fair enough.

Netblyss:
Married or not, we can't deny that OP's writeup is the truth.

From what you wrote, are you saying if Op isn't married then you won't heed to what he said?

If that is the case, I will deduce that you will only take advice from one who is married and if he says "beat your wife because I do it. Now my wife respects me more and my marriage is happier for it"
You will gladly do it because he is married and knows better?

You got it twisted.
I think it's just smarter to take advice from someone who is (or has been) in the field, not someone who's just observing the battle.
Beating anyone up for any reason, your wife or not, is a criminal felony.
You're not deducing, you're implying.

haywire07:
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion whether it's a good or stupid opinion.
Infact, An Igbo man does not kneel down for anyone except his chi

However, what I can't stomach is having to enforce your opinion using insults.
But how shall we tell an elderly person that his mouth stinks?

I must agree with Pete Edochie—who meticulously played the role of Okonkwo— that, things have indeed fallen apart

irunoko:
Baba Yi egbenusoun

Agbatinde si baba yi,isokuso den lonso nsi.before we knew you to be a wise elder and very astute.ewowaloro oponu ton'jade lenu yin sir?

Epanu mo joorr.enuyin runn

In any language he can't speak.

Kaydeexotic:
Please gimme list of phones with bang and Olufsen speakers

There are plenty, I used the "Samsung Serenata" which has Bang and Olufsen speakers.

oodua1stson:
my old phone Nokia 3250. Best sound on a mobile phone by a very long mile

Ever used "Bang & Olufsen" phone? You will throw that Nokia away.

TonyeBarcanista:
This mindset is flawed Sir but I respect your opinion!

This is all I can say!

Flawed? We may as well take a medical prescription from a laundry man.

TonyeBarcanista:
How necessary is this? This is going personal which I may not oblige unfortunately

Pardon, isn't relationship and marriage a personal matter? advising people on it is a personal matter too.

I once took my laptop for repair to a man who by all indications look like a repair, and he gave me a good deal too, it was too late when I discovered that he actually specialised on radio and television repair not computers.
A painful lesson, but learn it did I.

So forgive me, when I take give repair jobs or, in this case, take advice I like to ascertain how qualified the person giving the advice is.

Damn! That is a long write up you have

TonyeBarcanista:
Glad you found it worthy

Bro, before I lend you my ears are you married or, have you ever been married?

makydebbie:
Not really, I feel if they're not disturbing people and just doing their thing, they should be at liberty to live their best lives.

So then it's live and let's live. How charming.
The bickering band anger that this topic rises is quite something. If it were the other way around, the majority likewise find heterosexuality as gross and ungodly.
Human nature. Curious, isn't it?

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view

I wonder if does he stays home in the day and go out at night, or he only goes out in the evening and come back late?

makydebbie:
. The hypocrisy.

Humanity has come so far yet, there is a blur in our eyes that prevents most from knowing which is which. Hypocrisy, religion, it's just a very tiny line.

But let's put what other people think aside, personally, what is your opinion on the subject? do you find it a menace?