₦airaland Forum

succyblinks:
All I saw throughout your writeup was virginity virginity virginity, LoL u really think u are still a virgin niyen? Sorry to burst your bubbles you are only tight but no longer a virgin, LoL you sound as if the vj is one long tunnel you need to dig before seeing the hymen.

For the egg donation, I have nothing to say

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Jealousy one kill this one, na person send you make you lose your virginity. What a jealous and pained soul.

ireneony:
Curve ni curve ko..abegi mtcheeww

. . Jealousy one kill this one.

Make una train for operation crocodile smile finish, when una reach this side when NDA go finish with una, he go be operation Agbakara cry.

Common sence.

emilyone:
Awww I feel for you bro. May heaven send help your way .

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Thank you ma, that is life for you, am already used to it long ago since i lost my parents, it don't even seems to me that am suffering anymore, unlike when it first started.
Am already used to it.

Seahawk:
But you have money for mb.

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Never judge a book because of its cover. If i told you that i don't have my own personal phone you won't beleave me.

twinskenny:
Please tell me how I can assist this family with 5kg of rice I beg you

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My God, am so short of words, if i says since over two months now i have not tasted ri, talkless or rice.
If i lie make thunder strike me dead now as am typing this.
Let me sleep and not wake up.
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Almost every night i go to bed with empty stomach, sometimes if am lucky i will drink plain garri and salt without no single groundnut and sugar.
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Such is life my brother.

Since morning i have been logging in to nairaland and its displaying multiple ads all over. Has nairaland started displaying multiple ads at a time now?
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Screen shot below :

Cc: Temitemi1

idsamoo:
You forgot to add..LA click LA bend..

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Pls cn you give me the link to that thread, its so hilarious.

DrMaths:
Nairaland is one funny place where people come to read latest happenings and to cool off. The most interesting part on the forum are the comments, where you get to read other peoples view on a particular matter and either respond or contribute. Now, the juicy parts of the comments are the hilarious ones, some of the comments are so funny, you can even crack a rib while laughing.
Personally, i prefer scrolling through comments on nairaland than buying ticket to attend comedy shows.
Thus, the following list came from closed observation on some of the most used cliche or slangs (as the case may be) that appear as comment on nairaland threads.
From the list to the greatest
Leggo
15. Iranu Abasa
Ever since Lil kesh used it in a song, nairalanders have decided to to partake in it. its mostly used when describing things that are unpleasant .

14. Have you Blame GEJ Today
This one is mostly found on threads where Lai Mohammed is relating the present Economy crisis to the immediate past administration

13. Who U EPP
Who dollar Epp, Who Pilgrimage Epp, Who Bleep Don Epp. Olamide surely gave nairalanders a comment kick starter.


12. End Time
End Time Baby, End time Girlfriend, End Time Pastors, End Time data Plan, End Time Mod. Just name it, naliralanders will End Time It.

11. GEJ My Hero
Temitemi started this campaign sometime last year, till date it still rocks on any thread where GEJ is being Exaclted.

10. Wasteners
I'll Pass

9. IPOB Youth
On nairanland, any monicker that support PDP or is Anti-the present administration is labelled an IPOB youth.

8. Change the Change
you see this on threads where it seems as if the wailers are winning the war.

7. Ugandan Brothers
I'll Still Pass

6. Lala and Snake
You will surely see this one on any snake thread that hits the frontpage. i fear for those moniker that use this one sha , if not because Lalasticlala is gentle, imagine if it was someone like Jim Iyk that is Lalasticlala.

5. Guess Who Is Wailing?
This one comes up when a well known Supporter of the Ruling party starts wailing. Some will even go as far as warning other Wailers not to give Wailers Form to the Repentant Soul.

4. Pictures You Will Relate With
This One Started As a child's Play until Smellymouth and Susan404 started adding spices to it. Even Photoshoot used it as a campaign strategy during the Mr Nairaland Competition.

3. Kenya and sex related news Be Like
And picture of the man with his two index fingers pointing forward will do the magic.

2. Afonjo Brothers
Still Passing!!!

1. I Came Here to Check Names
I present to you the "NAME CHECKERS ASSOCIATION OF NIGERIA" (NCAN).
This one is found on virtually all the threads that hit the frontpage on nairaland these days. The good thing about the monikers that used this one is that they have branches everywhere in the universe, included Mars and Jupiter.

Add Yours
Source: Drmaths

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At the bolded of no 13, Olamide knows nothing about who you help, give ceaser what belongs to ceaser.
Who you help was first raised and also went viral under Shun_bebe.

Click like if you were deceived as me by thinking that the son was iara and ashomhole son.

ebubeEnyioha:
there is only one way to quit. there is no other than that. ask me how den do it and thank God later!

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Please sir, help me sir. What is the one way to quit masturbation. Please help me sir.

phensbassey:
I don't believe the op because he said he quit that easily, its impossible to quit without relapses if you are already addicted, I know the struggle, I've been battling mine for close to seven years now...I can go weeks without relapse..now, as mine often happenes at night, before I sleep I reflect on positive things, when I feel the urge to masturbate, I immediately fall to the ground and do push ups till am exhausted by then I won't be able to masturbate I'll just fall asleep the fight is not easy, its just to Neva give up..and ask God for help.. don't feel ashamed when you relapse just analyse what led to the relapse and try to avoid it next time... may God help us.

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True brother, so true you are 100% right, God bless you for this, the op is definitely lying, he made the story up just to make fp.

Herodutus:
my brother, we b d same o.after watching porn And masturbating, I always delete good bfs that I downloaded, with a strong promise of never giving in to that urge again. at most 3days And the urge is back again in a crazy way, that I will end up downloading more of it. the circle continues this way. I have prayed to God for help several times, But here I am. just downloaded 4 today also. I once went to d extent of asking God to kill me any day I try it again. But then, like in one week time, I saw myself saying "God Please forgive me for what I said about porn And masturbation cus about to do it again

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My God, this is just me.
I have vowed to God several times that if i ever masturbate again then let God take my life or let me sleep that day and never see the next day, then with in 3 - 6days max am back at it again, i always crave for dirty and most intresting oily bf and at the same time my body is already boiling with the urge to masturbate. That nothing will stop me from doing it, its either i do it in the bathroom or in the ceiling. Most expecially in the ceiling, because i have the most and best privacy there. No soul will know that am at home, i will masturbate and after i cum, then the intresting bf i was watching looks irritating to me and i will mark all and delete with so much anger in my heart that i will cursed my s@elf severally but with in a day - 2 - 3days am at it again, downloading again with full urge to masturbate with, the highest i have vowed and gone without masturbating is two weeks maximum, i have prayed, vowed, cursed my self writting many notes like the side effects, dis-advantages and consequesces of doing it and vowed never to masturbate again but with in some days am at it again.
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Please use this links to help yourself, although it did't help me but just try may be it can for you.
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max max max max max max max

http://www.christian-courtship.com/side-effects-of-masturbation.html
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http://www.howtostopmasturbation.com/page-1-testimony.html
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http://www.naturalhealthprotocol.com/masturbation--dr-lawrence-wilson.html
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http://abchomeopathy.com/forum2.php/171060/
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https://sureshjonna.in/tag/disadvantages-of-masturbating-masturbation-why-masturbation-is-bad-how-to-overcome-masturbation-masturbation-addiction/
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http://www.homeoint.org/site/ahmad/masturbation.htm

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We need all this kind of topics on fp and not all those crap.
I deleted my 333 blue film (bf) a day before yesterday eveling. And now the urge is back again and very strong and powerful to download another bf and masturbate to it. No matter how hard i try to quit its not always succesful. Its been 4years now i started masturbation but still can't quit it.
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Herodutus:
my brother, we b d same o.after watching porn And masturbating, I always delete good bfs that I downloaded, with a strong promise of never giving in to that urge again. at most 3days And the urge is back again in a crazy way, that I will end up downloading more of it. the circle continues this way. I have prayed to God for help several times, But here I am. just downloaded 4 today also. I once went to d extent of asking God to kill me any day I try it again. But then, like in one week time, I saw myself saying "God Please forgive me for what I said about porn And masturbation cus about to do it again

.
.
My God, this is just me.
I have vowed to God several times that if i ever masturbate again then let God take my life or let me sleep that day and never see the next day, then with in 3 - 6days max am back at it again, i always crave for dirty and most intresting oily bf and at the same time my body is already boiling with the urge to masturbate. That nothing will stop me from doing it, its either i do it in the bathroom or in the ceiling. Most expecially in the ceiling, because i have the most and best privacy there. No soul will know that am at home, i will masturbate and after i cum, then the intresting bf i was watching looks irritating to me and i will mark all and delete with so much anger in my heart that i will cursed my s@elf severally but with in a day - 2 - 3days am at it again, downloading again with full urge to masturbate with, the highest i have vowed and gone without masturbating is two weeks maximum, i have prayed, vowed, cursed my self writting many notes like the side effects, dis-advantages and consequesces of doing it and vowed never to masturbate again but with in some days am at it again.
.
Please use this links to help yourself, although it did't help me but just try may be it can for you.
.


http://www.christian-courtship.com/side-effects-of-masturbation.html
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.
http://www.howtostopmasturbation.com/page-1-testimony.html
.
.
http://www.naturalhealthprotocol.com/masturbation--dr-lawrence-wilson.html
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.
http://abchomeopathy.com/forum2.php/171060/
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https://sureshjonna.in/tag/disadvantages-of-masturbating-masturbation-why-masturbation-is-bad-how-to-overcome-masturbation-masturbation-addiction/
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http://www.homeoint.org/site/ahmad/masturbation.htm

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temitemi1:
E don happen again

. . Your presence is highly noticed recently. Where have you been?

bobo65:
Sharp sharp biz
I'll msg u sharperly
We got alot to talk about

. Bro be careful. Don't say i din't warn you.

G

Ngokafor:
..Okayoo,now we have a Yoruba POLICEMAN and apc supporter wishing death on Jonathan Goodluck.He even went as far as boldly posting it on face-book for and sundry...APOLICEMAN!!

..While a Delta-igbo trader,named his dog buhari but did not wish buhari death.He was arrested by POLICE and kept in custody for 3days...His illegal detention was applauded by yorubas on this forum..to the embarrassment of right-thinking humans.



..Like i said earlier..APC/buhari as well as their moronic supporters on and off Nairaland shall plunge this country into unimaginabe crisis,with the nonsense they throwing at Nigerians who do not support their bigoted and despotic leader buhari..

..We are watching their macabre dance of shame.

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At the bolded so trueeeee, i saw the post on fp. But what shocked me most was how i saw some people supporting his arrest.
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I intentionally opened the thread expecting to see dozens of positive comments conderming what the police has done. But i was so shocked by the comments i saw from the yorubas.